by Tara Brown
He liked her back.
This was why he had delayed coming to England.
I hated the expression I knew was on my face.
It was petty and gross and not my right to feel slighted by his flirting with an office girl where he was working. But I was. I hated to admit it, but I was slighted and petty and gross.
“How many times have you seen them talking?” I whispered, hoping my disgusting jealousy wasn't too obvious. I had never seen her before but that meant nothing. I’d clearly missed something, something no one else wanted to fill me in on. And we still had a job to do. We needed to know who she was.
“Uh, fourteen conversations thus far. I’ve already checked her out, in case she was trying to get to him. She’s one of ours. CI. She’s in tech, like me. Went to MIT, graduated last year. She’s twenty-five. Her name’s Simone Tucker. She’s Irish and Scottish descent. Her parents are both teachers in Boise. She has a younger brother who’s at Harvard, prelaw. She’s bad at sports. Doesn't exercise ever. Has a small apartment in Brooklyn. Has a weird-looking cat with a smushed-in face named Haggis. Eats takeaway for every single meal. Never cooks, I don't think she can. She updates her social media once every couple of days and gets a lot of likes from a group of girls who all seem to be upper middle-class white girls. No dudes except cousins. No dating apps. Did well in high school academically, but I don't believe she dated anyone. She glowed up around nineteen. It was braces and glasses and bad skin before that. Really oily hair.”
“Glowed up?” I was already lost.
“Yeah. Got hot. Apparently, I also glowed up, according to Luce,” he trailed off and shrugged.
“Weird.”
“Right. Anyway,” he continued, “she was scouted into the CIA from MIT and was later scooped up by CI to fill the shortage I created by going deep cover. She and Coop met the first day he was back. Since then she’s asked him to eat a meal with her ten times. Usually it’s lunch. The first few times, it was as part of a group. Then it was her and two other people for lunch. Now they eat together with one other lady. I think she likes him, but doesn’t have the courage to ask—”
“Jesus.” I sighed. “She’s you.”
“What?”
“Doesn't exercise but stays slender, twenty-five, smart, techy, nerdy, shy, and shit at sports and speaking to members of the opposite sex.” I lifted an eyebrow at him.
“Right, well, when you put it—shit.” He slumped. "A new me."
“He isn’t replacing you, Jack.” I offered a soft smile. “He loves you. You’re his best friend.”
“He’s replacing you, Evie,” he whispered it so softly I barely heard the words. The look on his face suggested he hadn’t meant to say it.
“I guess he is.” I forced a wide closed-lip smile and took several breaths through my nose before I spoke again, “I just wish he would stop trying to date people he works with,” I added, realizing how bitter it sounded.
“Yeah, me too. Makes it weird for all of us when things don't pan out.” He wrinkled his nose as he said it. And I wasn't sure if it was me and Coop or him and Luce that the shot applied to. Maybe both.
“Right,” I agreed, though I didn't want to. Coop got up from the chair and trailed behind the blonde. The camera angles changed, following them down the hall, tracking Coop by the belt buckle he wore and the facial recognition software. They strolled to lunch but both seemed tense, anxious, as if on the precipice of a relationship.
The back of his hand brushed hers.
Her back straightened.
My stomach ached.
“I’m gonna”—I pointed at the door as I shot up from the chair— “go.”
I couldn't get the handle open fast enough.
I didn't get into the hall quickly enough. My gasping breath had to have been audible from the gap in the door as I closed it.
My stomach burned and my heart felt constricted in my chest.
The wide hallway spun for a moment before I slid down the wall and held my knees, forcing my brain to accept what was.
I’d broken things off with Coop.
I made him walk away.
I chose Servario.
I needed to be happy with that choice and let him be.
He deserved to be happy.
The fact she was young and perfect and shiny stung, but what he and I were was gone. Over. Done.
I needed to get my own memo.
He was too young. He would want kids and marriage, and deep down he wanted a wife who would want those things too. Not some jaded divorcée who made a disgusted face every time someone asked if she would ever get married again.
“You all right?” Luce strode down the hall in her bikini, carrying a towel.
“Yeah,” I lied.
“Guessing you saw it?” She too slid down the wall, sitting across from me.
“Yeah,” I repeated. “Why didn't you tell me?”
“Maybe it’s nothing. They eat lunch together, it might end up being nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” I argued.
“I know. But seriously, you okay?”
“No. I’m kinda heartbroken, but I don't have the right to be, so I will be okay. Just need a minute.” I didn't sound sure. I wasn't, as I exposed my burnt chest cavity to her. "He really likes her."
“He needs to move on, Evie. You need to deal with S before you consider dating anyone else. Can’t love with a heart you gave away. Even if you gave it to some psycho.”
“You would know.” I hit her back softly.
“That I would. At least my psycho is addicted to videogames and not tormenting his enemies.” She stared me down lovingly with concern emanating from her, until she finally whispered, “You know what Fitz and your mom always say about shitting where you eat?”
“Yup,” I agreed quietly, wishing we’d all listened better to that little chestnut of wisdom.
“Guess we both should have listened to them.” She blinked and for a second I swore I saw a bit of gloss in her eyes.
“Yup,” I agreed again. “But listening isn’t one of our skills.”
“It super isn’t,” she lamented and then we stopped talking. We sat in the hallway staring at the wall, contemplating how stupid each of us was.
2
Petty is the new pretty
Relaxing in the sun had become my new job. Well, relaxing and plotting Saransk’s death, but that wasn’t getting anywhere. I still knew very little about him, and Jack hadn’t found out enough to plot a serious mission.
“Evie!” Luce waved me down from the large patio doors. “It’s on again.” She turned and stalked back inside.
“Oh, Evie, stop tormenting yourself.” My mom exhaled disappointedly.
“What?” Mitch asked from the pool, pausing the game of Marco Polo he was playing with Jack, Jules, and Fitz.
“Nothing.” I gave my mom a dirty look and pushed off the large deck lounger. “Luce and I are watching a TV show right now, a romance. I need to get out of the sun anyway. Everyone reapply sunscreen.”
“You’re obsessing, darling. You made this bed,” she shouted after me.
“Thanks, Mom.” I hurried away before the kids asked too many questions.
Jack said something snide, but I couldn't hear beyond the tone of it as I closed the patio doors and rushed down the long corridor to the office.
Luce stared at me from the other recliner as I scurried in. She handed me a Curly Wurly as I sat next to her.
The room was cool compared to the warm summer day we were enjoying outside.
I hadn’t expected June to be so warm in England, but apparently, we were having a heat wave. Something everyone in the family was relishing in.
Everyone but Luce and me, who were obsessed with watching the CCTV channels with Coop on them.
Today he walked down the street alone. It was lunchtime there. Which meant he would be meeting her. They had progressed to eating alone. And texting. But he was taking his time getting to know her.
“I don't know. But we can assume, since he’s had lunch with her every day for two weeks, he’s meeting her.”
Except we were wrong.
He sat at a table outside a small café where a female server dressed as though she worked in Paris, not New York, busied about getting everyone drinks.
He ordered something, smiling politely.
“He so much lighter.” The words slipped out before I gave much thought to them. He was lighter away from me.
“I guess. He’s had like six weeks away from all this,” she answered carefully.
A man I didn't recognize strolled up the sidewalk in a suit. He sat at the table with Coop, sliding a hand across the table, gushing about something. Perhaps how great it was running into Coop. Coop took his hand, suggesting maybe they were lovers except we knew better than to believe that.
“Who’s he?” I asked.
“Not a clue but Jack’s software will bring up a name in the system. We can look after.”
The man pulled his hand away. He smiled and nodded, getting up and walking off, giving a wave back at Coop. The moment he was at the edge of the camera’s view, the man lost his smile and was back to business, as was Coop.
He rolled his shoulders, itched his cheek, and began rubbing the back of his neck. Of course Coop’s other hand, the one you weren’t meant to be watching, slipped into his pocket and then under the table.
The girl, the blonde—Simone—came into the camera’s view.
For a second I wondered if this was some sort of act for a part of the mission he hadn’t told us about yet. He wasn't reporting back to us at this time. He’d been away for six weeks, trying to throw anyone looking for us off our scent. Also, he was updating CI’s main database so everyone from our list was noted and recorded as a suspect for having links to the Burrow or possibly being the Master Key. That way when they died, it added up.
Simone’s smile widened brightly as she got closer. He stood and stepped out to greet her, lifting his hands to her cheeks and lowering himself to kiss her.
I could almost feel the whisper of his fingers on my face.
“Oh shit,” Luce mumbled.
“Right,” I said breathily.
They were kissing?
They kissed?
This was at the kissing stage already?
The kiss lasted too long.
It clearly wasn't their first one.
Her eyes were closed and her knees jerked once, suggesting they might buckle, but he pulled her in tighter, holding her up and kissing her with fervor I recalled too well.
“Damn.” Luce sat back, exhaling through pursed lips. “That was a fucking kiss.”
I tried to slow my heartbeat, accidentally reliving enough to make my cheeks flush and my hands tighten into balls. “Safe to say they’re officially dating.”
“Yeah. You can tell they haven’t fucked yet. Too much tension in that kiss and their grip on each other. It’s desperation, see it?” She chewed her Curly Wurly, giving me a side-glance. “You sure you wanna watch this?”
“Yeah,” I lied. “Positive.”
I didn't know why I was watching it.
Why I was forcing myself to suffer through this.
The weeks he’d been away had been good for us. It separated us. His last week before we came here was horrid. His sister’s funeral and his mental break were low points for everyone. When the commander suggested one of us return and spend some time apart from the team to draw eyes away, Coop volunteered too quickly.
I knew he needed to be away from me and my kids.
I had no idea he would fall in love so easily, but he was on his way.
Well on his way.
“Okay, perverts.” Jack burst into the room. “Time to find something else to do. You girls have been watching them nonstop. It’s getting creepy.”
“We’re way past creepy.” Luce scoffed. “That kiss was everything.” She fanned herself as the two of them sat down.
“You ladies need lives. Honestly. It’s great that Coop’s seeing someone. It’s a nice distraction for him,” Jack spoke absentmindedly, staring at the screen, possibly also too invested.
Coop pulled out a cell phone, fiddling with it as he spoke to her. He reached underneath the table and touched whatever he’d stuck there.
My stomach tensed.
What if she was a mark of some sort?
Was he about to kill her?
Café bombing?
Jack’s phone rang, making us all jump.
He answered the call, putting it on speakerphone but staying silent, listening as a man spoke, “Anyway I want to ask you a question,” Coop’s voice boomed through to us. Obviously, he wanted to ask us all a question. “The office has suggested I bring you with me to my next destination. The job is deep cover and incredibly dangerous, but we could use the extra help. Our IT could really use someone like you.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Luce leaned in.
“What the actual fuck did he just say?” Jack lifted his eyes, his nose wrinkling.
My jaw dropped as the three of us crossed our arms over our chests simultaneously.
“Is he fucking kidding? He wants to bring that girl here? Some girl we don’t know, in the middle of the world’s biggest case in the history of fucking cases?” Luce’s tone rode a dangerous line.
“Not a chance.” Jack gave me a scowl. “Call S, put a hit out.”
“Calm down. He’s not bringing her here. Not with my kids. He’s only pushing for this because he’s fucking her. He’s not thinking clearly.” I tried to be the rational one, pointing out that Coop was thinking with his dick and not his head, but I wasn't rational. He was risking my children’s lives. I was freaking out, silently.
“It’s not happening. There’s no way.” Jack pointed at the screen. “Your kids, they can’t be risked. And I certainly don't need any help from someone who took the entire five years to get her masters. Honestly. Taking summers off. She got eighty-four percent in three classes for God’s sake.” He laughed nervously, sounding like he was also in a bad place.
“It’s not happening.” I waved a hand at the screen dismissively. “She could be the mole Saransk has planted to try to get to us for taking his daughter down. Not a chance.”
“Who does he think he is, making choices like this? He’s not the head of CI. He can’t do this. This isn’t even our safe house. She could be working him.” Luce laughed. “Is he really that dumb?”
We all paused, staring at each other, not answering the question.
“Right.” Luce cocked an eyebrow and shook her head in small twitches. “No fucking way is that bitch coming here.”
“Agreed.” Jack nodded.
“I’ll ensure Servario knows what Coop’s little plan is, in case the commander does want her here. I’m certain there’s no way Servario is going to be comfortable with a stranger in his house.” I told myself I didn't care that Coop was with some shiny little Barbie doll. I didn't care that he was moving on. I absolutely didn't give a shit that he was happy with someone else.
I was protecting my kids.
And Luce.
And Mom and Fitz.
And Jack.
And Servario and myself.
I was saving us all, even if it felt a bit like jealously.
Hell, I was also protecting Coop from himself.
Jack sat at the computer and began texting like a madman from his burner phone.
Coop’s eyes lowered to his hands, clearly getting the messages Jack was sending. The moment he’d sent whatever he wanted to say, Jack pulled the card from the phone and turned it off so it wouldn't be traced.
His eyes lifted to Coop on the screen.
“You and the team will get along great, once they get over the initial shock of a new person.” Coop ignored Jack’s messages.
“Fucker,” Luce growled.
“I don't know what to say,”
Simone spoke tenderly, her voice soft as tiny wind chimes, musical and sweet. I wanted to gag but I needed to maintain my demeanor. “I want to come with you but this is all really sudden for me. I mean, we just met, John. And then to throw in a team you've been working with for a year."
“What?” I gasped. “John?” All my cool was gone.
“I can’t even with him right now.” Jack threw his arms up in the air and went back to texting like mad after he put the card back in.
“Well, the commander did offer”—Coop cleared his throat—“that you could start out in the city, away from the team for the first little bit anyway. So why don't we get you settled in with some equipment and go from there? I’ll introduce you when the time’s right.”
“Okay. I still don't know if this is such a good idea, but if the commander thinks so, then I guess I’m in.” She smiled brightly, though seeming a bit uncertain. "Field work IT is my ultimate goal."
My stomach dropped and my heart sank.
“I’m probably going to get the portobello burger,” Coop said as he reached under the table.
“It’s portabella,” Simone laughed.
“Oh, is it?” Coop spoke like he knew that and the line cut.
“This can’t be happening. He’s taking her to Portobello Road, to my safe house to use my computers? He's putting her hands right up my skirt." Jack sounded like he might be sick. I felt like I might.
“What a dick.”
“I really want to use the C-word right now.” Jack gave me a disgusted glare. “I won’t. But I want to.”
“Just say it in French. We won’t know,” I offered.
“Swearing in French is too lackluster for a moment like this,” he lost his steam and lamented like a boy whose dog had just died.
“I’m really sorry, Jack.” I tried to bring us all back down from the roof by forcing a smile. “I’m sure Coop doesn’t mean that you aren’t handling the work. I bet he just means two heads are better than one or maybe he knows the workload is about to get heavier.”
“Thanks, Evie. And I’m sure he isn’t bringing her here to cruelly rub in your face. He just truly ended up liking a girl who is younger and prettier by accident.” He got up and huffed out of the room, leaving me with the bullet holes from the words he’d fired.