The Cowboy's Missing Memory

by Shannon Taylor Vannatter

  “I know this is hard.”

  “This morning, we told him he’d lost two years.” Carly let out a weary sigh.

  “How did he take it?”

  “He’s frustrated, upset. Imagine how you’d feel if you woke up missing two years.” She dabbed her eyes with a mascara-smeared tissue. “I’ve never seen him like that. So lost, so confused. Just like the beginning of Dad’s illness. When we didn’t know what was going on yet.”

  “I know it must seem like history repeating itself, but there’s no reason to think your brother has your dad’s disease.” Lexie tried to sound confident and reassuring. “It’s not hereditary and your brother’s rodeo career has lasted a much shorter time than your dad’s. With therapy, he should make a complete recovery.”

  “Have you thought about taking the job? With my husband deployed, I’m pulling double duty with the kids, plus my job at the bank. I can’t be there for Mom like I want to be.” Carly stared into the fountain. “It would be such a huge relief to Mom to have someone she knows and trusts working with Clint.”

  The fountain’s soothing spray created white noise and usually mesmerized the senses, eased worries. But today, it failed to calm Lexie’s zinging nerves.

  “I’m here because your mom wants me to see the results, so I’ll know exactly what Clint will require.”

  “Oh, Lexie, thank you.” Carly hugged her.

  “I haven’t agreed.”

  “I know. But you haven’t said no, either.”

  And it would be hard for her to say no to Audrey. Why did Clint’s sister have such faith in her?

  “Our family’s just been through so much,” Carly confided, wringing her hands. “And we’re all so worried Clint will end up like Dad. But you helped Dad.”

  “The two cases are completely different. And despite my help, your father—”

  “Still died.” Carly patted her hand. “That wasn’t your fault. He was terminal and we all knew it. But you gave him his dignity back. Because of you, he spent his last months mobile and self-sufficient instead of depending on us for every little thing. That was priceless to him.”

  “Thank you.” Lexie’s throat clogged up. “That means a lot to me.”

  Carly sighed. “I know the new therapist is great. We met him last night and Dr. Arnett gave us a list of in-home therapists. But Mom and I would feel so much better with someone we know and trust focused solely on Clint full-time. I hate to pressure you, but I don’t know if Mom will have any peace unless you’re his therapist.”

  Even though Levi’s disease had been terminal, since he’d been Lexie’s patient, she’d taken his death personally. Especially since he’d been the first patient she lost. She almost felt she owed Audrey to work with Clint. To somehow make up for Levi’s death.

  What would she do for a month without work anyway? It wasn’t like she had a personal life.

  “Okay. I’m in.”

  “Really?” Carly hugged her. “Thank you! Mom will be so relieved.”

  The two women stood, walked arm in arm to the hospital and took an elevator up. They met up with Ted in the waiting room.

  “Where’s Mom?”

  “In with Clint. Dr. Arnett just went to summon her for our meeting.” Ted turned to Lexie. “Could I speak with you for a moment?”

  “Of course.” She followed him to a corner.

  “I admire your field of work.” He lowered his voice. “Not to be nosy, but I imagine your degree probably racked up a sizable student loan.”

  She widened her eyes. What was he getting at? “I was able to get some scholarships, but the reason I stayed in San Antonio so long was to whittle down what I owe.”

  “I certainly don’t mean to imply that you can be bought, Ms. Parker. But I’ll do anything for Audrey, and I’m prepared to pay off your debt if you’ll take on Clint as a patient.”

  Her heart warmed.

  “I’ll do anything for Audrey, as well. I’ve actually already told Carly I’ll take the job. A normal salary will suffice and we can talk about it later.”

  “But there’s no time like the present. I got some prices from other in-home therapists this morning, ran some numbers.” He handed her a slip of paper. “Does this seem fair?”

  She glanced down. Almost exactly what she owed, with a few dollars to spare. “That’s way too much.”

  “I can assure you, it’s the going rate for in-home OT care.”

  Well, in that case, this had to be a God thing. Affirmation that she’d made the right decision.

  “Perhaps after you complete your work with Clint, you might want to switch to in-home care.”

  “No. It’s never been about the money for me.”

  “Which is precisely why we want you.” Ted smiled.

  “Ah, Lexie.” Dr. Arnett escorted Audrey into the waiting room. “Glad you’re here. Now that we’re all accounted for, let’s gather in my office.”

  The family followed.

  Though it was a sizable office, by the time they’d all filed in, it was almost standing room only.

  Dr. Arnett pulled a file and put the X-rays on the lighted screen. “This is the frontal lobe, the part of Clint’s brain that’s affected,” he said, indicating with his pointer. “It controls thought processes, decision-making, emotions. What was his reaction when you told him what year it is?”

  “Disbelief.” Carly swallowed hard. “Until I showed him a newspaper.”

  “And then he was eerily calm,” Audrey said. “He just wanted to go back to his room.”

  “From the conversation I had with him this afternoon, Clint is frustrated.” Dr. Arnett crossed his arms. “His father’s death is very fresh for him. He feels like he wasn’t there for y’all in the aftermath and he hasn’t been around for your kids, Carly.”

  “But he has been.”

  “Yet he doesn’t remember being there,” the doctor reiterated. “Over the next week or so, I want you to show him pictures of everything that took place over the last two years. Especially of him with Audrey and with the kids. That will give him a bright spot and he’ll realize that he was in fact there for everyone.”

  “In my experience,” Lexie said, patting Audrey’s arm, “most patients improve greatly just by getting to go home to familiar surroundings.” Maybe everything would click into place for Clint and he’d only need her for his physical issues.

  “And you’re releasing him tomorrow?” The older woman gripped the seat of her chair, leaned forward, head down, as if steeling her strength. Or maybe even praying.

  “It may be later in the day, but yes,” Dr. Arnett confirmed. “He needs rest, people who love him and a good therapist. Once things sink in for him, bring the kids to see him. And then after he adjusts, you can break the engagement news, Audrey. But Ted, you need to give him plenty of time to get used to the idea of you before you become part of his picture.”

  “I’ll do whatever’s best for Clint,” Ted agreed.

  “For today, I think it might be best if y’all go home.” Dr. Arnett turned the light of the X-ray screen off. “Clint is on emotional overload. I prescribed a sedative and he’ll sleep until morning. Besides, I doubt any of you have slept much since he was brought in here.”

  “I can’t leave him here all alone,” Audrey said, shaking her head.

  Lexie stood. “I’ll sit with him.”

  “Would you?” His mom sighed. “That would make us feel better.”

  “Of course. He’s my patient.”

  Audrey clasped a hand to her heart. “You’re taking the job.”

  “How could I say no to you?”

  “Oh, thank you,” Audrey breathed, her eyes tearing up. “An answered prayer.”

  “Since he’s my patient, I need y’all to fill me in on everything you know about Clint’s life that might be helpful to me. Do you kno
w why he was riding bulls again?”

  “I’m guessing to raise the money to buy a beefalo ranch in Fort Worth,” Audrey volunteered.

  Ted’s gaze dropped to the floor. “And I’m guessing that even though he gave us his blessing, it was hard seeing his mama with somebody who wasn’t his daddy. And that’s why he was in such an all-fired hurry to move to Fort Worth.”

  “But he thinks the world of you, Ted,” Audrey assured her fiancé.

  “I know, but he still misses his daddy. Especially now. Maybe we rushed things. Maybe we should have given him more time to get used to us.”

  “I don’t think he wanted to move to get away from y’all.” Carly shifted in her seat. “He wanted to make his own way instead of hanging around and being y’all’s third wheel. He wanted Ted to feel at home at the ranch ’cause he knew Mama would never leave it.”

  “This is good,” Lexie said. “I apologize for being nosy, but if I’m to help Clint emotionally and physically, I need to understand the dynamics of his life. So there wasn’t any upheaval except for his dad’s death?”

  “And me stealing his mama away.”

  “Here’s what we’re not gonna do.” Lexie went into therapist mode. “We’re not gonna play the blame game. Clint isn’t a child. I doubt he’d want the rest of y’all putting your lives on hold on his behalf. Was he glad to see you happy again, Audrey?”

  “Yes.”

  “And he approved of Ted?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Then we’re going to work on his physical problems and mobility issues along with easing his emotional upheaval and helping him recover his memories. And no one’s going to blame themselves. We’re going to blame the bull. Okay?”

  “Okay.” All family members echoed their agreement.

  “Once he’s ready to know about Ted, let him remember how he felt about everything on his own,” Lexie said, making eye contact with each family member. “Let him recover his reasons for wanting to move to Fort Worth. The main thing you need to do is be careful of swaying his feelings with how you think he feels.”

  Dr. Arnett checked his watch. “Now I have another patient, but in Lexie’s capable hands, I expect Clint to make a full recovery.”

  * * *

  Heavy eyelids. Unresponsive limbs. Still hurting head. But Clint forced himself to claw his way to consciousness. Daylight was streaming through the window, and the first thing he focused on was Lexie. His whole world got better at the sight of her. Why?

  “Hi,” he muttered.

  Her face pinkened. “Hi. You okay?”

  Okay how? He closed his eyes again, trying to piece together what he’d been told. In the hospital. Bull wreck. Brain injury. Dad was gone. Six months—no, two and a half years ago. If it had been that long, why did it hurt so badly?

  Lexie stepped closer and dabbed his cheek with a tissue.

  A tear he hadn’t realized he’d shed. At least he had Mom and Carly. And Dad’s therapist. For the moment. Maybe she made him feel better because he’d seen Dad’s progress from working with her.

  “Are you hurting anywhere?”

  “Just my head.” And his brain and heart.

  “The nurse can give you something, if you need it,” she offered.

  “No.” He furrowed a brow. “Where are Mom and Carly?”

  “Dr. Arnett gave you a sedative so you’d sleep through the night and they hadn’t slept in a while, so he sent them home.”

  “Has it really been two and a half years since Dad died?” Clint asked.

  “Yes.”

  “What else did I miss?”

  “We’ll get into that later.” She let out a world-weary sigh. “Just try to rest. Your brain’s on overload.”

  “Why was I riding a bull if my mom’s ranch was in jeopardy two years ago? Is she in financial trouble again?”

  “I don’t think so,” she replied. “From what I understand, you wanted to expand the beefalo business to Fort Worth.”

  “That’s weird. Why would I want a business in Fort Worth?” He closed his eyes, thought hard. Try as he might, he couldn’t come up with anything else.

  “It’s not important right now.” She plumped his pillow.

  “Will I get better?”

  “We’re going to do everything we can to recover your memories.”

  Which didn’t answer his question. Why was she dressed in a T-shirt and jeans? “Where’s your scrubs?” he asked. “Are you off today?”

  “Technically, I don’t work here anymore.”

  Clint frowned in confusion. “You don’t?”

  “I put in my notice two weeks ago. I’m going to work in the rehab clinic in Bandera. But they don’t need me until the end of March.”

  Yes. Mom had told him she was leaving the hospital. And he’d promptly forgotten. “What about until then?”

  She flashed a bright smile. “Meet your new occupational therapist.”

  “So I’ll go to the clinic in Bandera? But you won’t be there yet, so how can you be my therapist?”

  “Your mom and sister asked me to be your in-home therapist until my new job starts.”

  His tension eased. She’d helped Dad; surely she could help him. Right?

  The door swung open and Dr. Arnett entered. “Good, you’re awake. I’ll have your release papers ready soon. We’re just waiting on the results of one more test, so it may be late this afternoon.”

  “You mean I can barely walk and I can’t remember my two-year-old niece, but you’re kicking me out?”

  “I wouldn’t put it exactly like that.” The doctor scanned his monitor. “Most patients can’t wait to get the boot from me. Your mom made arrangements to have all the physical therapy equipment you’ll need set up at the family ranch. As your OT, Lexie will set up a schedule.”

  “Wow, I didn’t know my insurance was that good.”

  “You can call if you have any problems and Lexie will bring you to see me in a month, so I can monitor your progress.”

  Just like that, he was going home. With half a brain. In the hospital he felt sheltered. Shielded from whatever had happened in the last two years. But at home, he’d have to face all of it. His stomach clenched. The unknown was terrifying.

  “Don’t worry,” Lexie said, gently patting his arm. “We’ll get you through this.”

  Her smile reassured his mind a little. No wonder his father had adored her. Dad must have felt exactly like this. Would he follow in his old man’s footsteps, losing more and more of his memories? Eventually losing all of himself.

  Dear Lord, help me.

  * * *

  What had she gotten herself into? Late-afternoon sunlight streamed through the windows as Lexie helped Clint transfer from the wheelchair to the couch in the Rawlinses’ family room, then parked the chair in the corner. She was supposed to be enjoying four weeks of rest and relaxation. Instead, she’d signed up for a month of intensive therapy.

  “This is nice.” He leaned his head back on a cushion and closed his eyes. “There’s no place like home.”

  Why couldn’t she just walk away? she asked herself. And the answer was simple—because she loved Audrey. “I checked out our therapy room. Your equipment is all set up. We’ll start in the morning. I’ll be here around nine.”

  “That fast? I just got home.”

  “No rest for the injured.” With him settled, she took the opportunity to look around. The Rawlinses’ home was warm and inviting, with a cowhide rug in front of a creamy Austin stone fireplace, overstuffed furniture and massive overhead beams. “Your mom’s in the kitchen if you need anything.”

  “I’ve put her through the wringer,” he murmured, regret echoing in his tone. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t remember the expansion to Fort Worth idea. Or my decision to compete in the rodeo this year. A year I didn
’t even know was here. Did I compete last year?”

  “I don’t know.” If he had, not even his sister Carly knew about it. Could he have secretly competed with no one the wiser?

  “I honestly don’t know why I ended up on that bull’s back.”

  “Well, that’s what we’re here for. To help you get those answers.” She released a breath. “I better take off. I need to unload my car at my parents’ and get settled in. You can relax the rest of the day. Tomorrow, we’ll begin retrieving your memory and recovering your mobility.”

  “What if I don’t get my memory back?” he asked.

  “It’s possible. But rare.”

  “Dad’s illness started with memory loss. And it all came from bull wrecks.”

  Which was why he should have known better. “How many wrecks and concussions did your dad have?”

  “I’ve lost count.”

  “You’ve had two.”

  “That I know of.” He groaned. “At the moment, my brain is toast.”

  “Listen, Clint...” She knelt in front of him. “Part of therapy is a positive attitude. I know it’s hard, but you can’t dwell on the negatives and have a successful recovery.”

  He nodded. “Right. I’ll work on that.”

  She patted his hand. And electricity shot through her fingers. Whoa. No touching the cowboy. Since she’d seen him in his hospital bed, she’d been drawn to him. She might get too attached to her patients, but she did not fall for them. Especially some selfish bull rider who’d run off to the rodeo every time he was short on cash.

  The doorbell rang and she stood. But before she could respond, the door opened.

  Ted entered. And froze when he saw Clint. “Oh, I didn’t know you were home yet.”

  “Who are you?” Clint asked with a frown. “And who do you think you are, barging in my mother’s house?”

  “Oh, I, um, I rang first.” The older gentleman’s face went crimson. “I’m, uh, Ted. I didn’t think y’all were back from the hospital yet. You must be Clint. And—” His gaze went to Lexie for help.