The Right Side of Reckless

by Whitney D. Grandison

  Yesenia had needed someone to vent to. Maybe that was what Guillermo needed, too.

  I handed over Yesenia’s book and made sure she got inside safe, then brought Tanner back home. But before I went in, I cast a glance behind me, checking out their house. I hoped the grass was greener for them in their new move.

  Guillermo

  I decided to take Dr. Hart’s advice and stop feelin’ sorry for myself for one night. To be happy. Things were easing up at home, little by little, but still I felt out of place and jittery.

  In truth, I didn’t know where I belonged. But tonight, I had a plan to maybe start to find out.

  I found my parents were in the kitchen, washing the dinner dishes together while they carried on a hushed conversation that halted at my arrival.

  Nervous, I stayed in the doorway, hoping my request wouldn’t arouse suspicion. “I wanted to go to the movies with a couple of friends from school tonight.”

  My mother faced me, evidently not having an issue. “Will you be out late?” She walked by me into the dining room and grabbed her purse. She collected her debit card and passed it to me. “In case you want a snack.”

  My father remained silent, making me fidget from one foot to the next. “Is it okay if I go?”

  He glanced at me, his shoulders rising and falling with his sharp intake of breath. “Go ahead, but be good. I mean it.”

  So I was still walking a thin line. Perhaps his letting me go out was a test. While going to the movies was a normal thing, it hadn’t really interested me before. Typical and boring hadn’t been my style back then.

  I accepted the challenge, desperate to prove I could be trusted. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

  He said nothing as my mother rejoined him at the sink.

  I squared my shoulders and headed out, focused on the house across the street.

  It was Thursday night, and Jenaya had mentioned going to the movies during third period. It might take some convincing, but maybe Avery would be on board to come with us.

  I crossed the street and knocked on the Londons’ front door, hopeful of this endeavor.

  After a minute the porch light came on and the door was pulled open, revealing a man I assumed was Mr. London.

  He was big, definitely active. Intimidating almost in the manner of Harvey with his bulky arms and tall height, and I’ll-break-your-neck demeanor. He was wearing a brown T-shirt with the words I Bleed Brown & Orange. Go Browns! on it.

  In his features and face was the man Avery would someday become—of course, you’d have to add a few trips to the gym.

  Mr. London gazed at me, looking confused and on guard. “Hello?”

  I lifted my hand in a wave as I felt my stomach knot up. “Hi, I live across the street. I go to school with Avery...and Regan.” Why did I mention her? “Is Avery home?”

  After arching a wary brow, Mr. London leaned back into the house. “Avery!” He waved me inside. “Come on in. What did you say your name was?”

  “Guillermo Lozano,” I told him as I stepped inside.

  Footsteps sounded down the hall and Mrs. London emerged around a corner. One look at me and her expression went on alert. “Guillermo?”

  Mr. London clearly saw the recognition on his wife’s face. He turned to size me up. “You know him?”

  “He’s in the Respect program at the center.”

  Mr. London frowned. “And he’s friends with Avery and Regan?”

  Mrs. London cleared her throat, her posture tall and firm. “As far as I’m aware, he and Rey have no friendship. Avery is another story.”

  I didn’t bow my head, I didn’t look away in shame. I took their disapproval on the chin. “Avery was my guide at school on my first day, and we have lunch together. He seems like a nice kid to become friends with.”

  Mr. London still looked skeptical, while Mrs. London seemed to be softening, so long as my friendship was with Avery.

  “It’s good to see you picking your associations wisely,” she said.

  Finally, Avery came down from the second floor, rescuing me from the interrogation. He buried his hands in his pockets and hitched up his shoulders as he looked from his parents to me. Honestly, I wasn’t sure he had other friends. It felt like my arrival was a foreign episode in their home. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked.

  “Sorry to just drop by. You busy or anything?” I asked.

  “Uh, no. You wanna play a video game or something?”

  I was never that guy to get caught up in mindless games inside the house. I’d always thought of them as typical, boring. “Not really my thing, but I could try.”

  “Hey, Guillermo, you like football?” Mr. London cut in.

  “The one with your hands or the one with your feet?”

  Mr. London blinked before simply walking away. Mrs. London tried to no avail to hide her smile.

  “Jenaya was talking about going to the movies tonight, and I was just stoppin’ by to see if you wanted to join us,” I said to Avery before facing Mrs. London. “If that’s okay.”

  Again, a look of surprise swept her expression. She narrowed her eyes, regarding her son. “Up to you, Avery.”

  A tiny smile curled the side of his mouth up. “Yeah, just let me go put on my shoes.” He was quick to race upstairs.

  Mrs. London seemed prouder the longer she studied me. “Normally, I’d be apprehensive, but this is good for him. So do me a favor and don’t let me down.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” She was extending faith and trust in me. I felt light on my feet, my insides buzzing with energy, ready to be tested, ready to show I was goin’ to do and be better.

  A series of footsteps came from the stairs, drawing my attention to the sight of Regan and Malika coming down.

  Surprise crossed Regan’s face, and Malika wasn’t far behind as she took me in as well.

  “Hey, Guillermo.” Malika greeted me first, coming over and appraising me. One thing about her, she wasn’t exactly shy, a trait that had me on my toes. I’d gotten a notification from my social media page that she’d followed me, prompting me to follow her back. Her page was loud with her personality, cheerleading at games, going to After Hours with Regan and a bunch of friends, babysitting her cousins or just posting cute selfies.

  The moment I’d felt tempted to click on Regan’s page after seeing Malika had tagged her in a cute selfie of the two of them, I tossed my phone to the side and distracted myself with homework.

  Regan hung back, looking cautious. “What’s going on?”

  “Movies,” I told her, “with Jenaya and Avery.”

  Malika’s eyes were glued to me. “Dang, we should go.”

  Regan blinked, opening her mouth.

  “Aren’t you two trying to find something for Rey to wear for her date tomorrow?” Mrs. London stepped in.

  Regan tucked some hair behind her ear as she came off the last step and walked by me. “Yeah, we just came down to grab something to drink.” She turned and locked eyes with me, and something tightened in my throat and down through my chest. But then she focused on her best friend. “Come on, Malika.”

  Malika shrugged before following Regan down the hall.

  Avery rushed back downstairs and joined me by the door, wading obliviously through the tension. He faced his mother, waving goodbye.

  “Need any money?” she offered.

  “No, I’m still good with my allowance,” he said.

  “Be good then, and don’t be gone too late.”

  I tipped my head at Mrs. London before following Avery’s lead out of the house. We crossed over to my Charger in our driveway and he hopped in the back, already politely leaving room for Jenaya to sit up front.

  “Sorry about my dad,” he told me as we buckled in.

  “What about him?” I turned to make sure the coast was clear and backed out.
/>   Avery fiddled with the hem of his T-shirt, shrinking into the seat. “He’s big on football, he could talk you to death if you let him.”

  Regan and Troy came to mind and I tried not to think about it.

  I shrugged. “No big deal, man. My family’s into sports, too, boxing and soccer mostly, but either way I’m used to it.”

  Avery was quiet on the way to Jenaya’s house, something I didn’t mind as I let the radio play. When I pulled up to the corner of McKinley and Lovers Lane, Jenaya was outside already, waiting on the devil strip.

  “Hey!” She was enthusiastic as she quickly jumped shotgun. She leaned over and turned to the back seat. “Hey, Avery!”

  We were going to see a movie, and yet Jenaya had gone all out. On her pretty face was a pair of sunglasses with blue lenses, some jeweled stars on one side. Her blue tank top, high waist ripped jeans, and chunky tennis shoes together created a whole look.

  I reeled back, taking her all in. “Extra, extra, read all about it.”

  Jenaya swatted at me. “Stop! I wanna look cute when I go out.”

  “To a dark theater, huh?” She gave me a mean look that meant business. “Kidding, you do look cute by the way.”

  She settled down and buckled in, satisfied. “I know.”

  “This better be a good movie or you’re banned from choosing until further notice,” I warned as I drove us to the nearest theater. “Your top ten is definitely lacking.”

  We’d spent all of seventh period arguing over our top ten favorite rappers, and Jenaya’s list just wasn’t up to par.

  Jenaya clicked her tongue. “Boy bye. Besides, Mike Epps is mad funny.”

  “Need I remind you that this is a school night?” Avery spoke up. “I’m with Mo, it better be worth it.”

  Jenaya wasn’t fazed by our threats. Instead she bounced a little in her seat as I continued to drive. Something told me she needed this. Maybe we all did. Together we were an eclectic bunch. Avery was the quiet loner. Jenaya, a girl with a shitty reputation. And then there was me, the delinquent.

  Being that it was a Thursday evening, the parking lot wasn’t full as I pulled into the lot to Movietown Theater. We’d probably have an entire screening to ourselves.

  “Thanks for driving, Mo,” Jenaya said as we vacated the car and made our way to the entrance. “I haven’t been to the movies in forever.”

  Yeah, we all needed this.

  “The last movie I saw was Atomic-Man: Origins,” Avery said.

  I had to stop and think about the last time I’d been myself. “Yesenia dragged me to some movie based on these angels versus vampires books. She was Team Angel or whatever.”

  Jenaya chuckled. “I read the first book to that series. Vampires all the way.”

  Avery and I shared the same frown as we walked up to the ticket booth.

  We bought our tickets and went to the concession stand. While the smell of fresh buttery popcorn was tempting, I was going to pass. My father’s chicken tinga was still sitting heavy in my stomach.

  “I think I’ll just get a drink,” I let them know. I let others go in front of me as I made up my mind what I was going to order.

  “I only had cereal for dinner,” Jenaya said. “I want it all.”

  “You can get it all, too.”

  I jerked my head toward the new voice. A group of guys was standing nearby, and one had separated from the trio to check out Jenaya. They were our age, or slightly older.

  Whatever their age, I didn’t like how this guy was looking at her.

  He was sporting a red hoodie underneath a denim vest, paired with a matching red cap and red shoes. He wasn’t that big, but his presence was enough to send Jenaya stepping back. The way he was rubbing his hands together, licking his lips, and eyeing Jenaya as if she were edible had my temper rising to a ten.

  “Ay, lemme get your number, miss,” he spoke, offering a smile.

  Jenaya recoiled, shaking her head. “No.”

  “Aw, don’t be like that,” he said, not letting up.

  “I’m good,” she insisted.

  “You could be better.”

  In therapy, they suggested counting to ten when you were close to losing your shit. But I was a hothead, and counting never worked for me.

  “What, you shy or somethin’?” he asked further.

  One. Two. Three. Four...

  He got too close, reaching to gather one of her hands to pull her to him.

  Fuck it.

  Some guys suffered from entitlement, as if they had a right to say, or worse, touch whoever they saw fit. Not on my watch.

  I stepped in front of Jenaya protectively. “She said no.”

  He laughed in my face. “Who are you?”

  “If you want to be able to chew that popcorn, I suggest you walk away now.”

  My comment erased the humor from Denim Vest’s face. “Say what?”

  I wasn’t sure how much longer I could endure this train of conversation before handling it with my fists. Jenaya wasn’t interested, and I was doing my best to shoo this fucker away without going there. “You heard me.”

  He smirked, sizing me up. He gestured to Jenaya. “I know that ain’t you. Ain’t no way you can handle that.”

  One, Jenaya wasn’t a piece of meat to be handled. Two, it wasn’t up for debate, and I was quickly losing my patience. My fists were balled and itching for me to swing and end all the talking.

  Worse, it was givin’ me the sickest feeling of déjà vu, of before, with Shad and Tynesha. Before, I hadn’t been able to rein in my temper or anger, and I’d lost control.

  Blinking, I tried to focus on the here and now. What were those de-escalation techniques I’d learned in anger management?

  “Walk away,” I instructed. “Now.”

  “Or what, you really tryna fight over a thot, my dude?”

  My patience snapped like a rubber band that had been stretched too far, and my hands shot out before I could realize what I was even doing. In seconds, I had two fists full of his vest, his body seized closer to me.

  Caught off guard, he shook a little.

  “Have some respect,” I demanded.

  “Shit man, get off of me!” he snapped.

  My hold tightened, my anger rose, and all I could see was red.

  His friends took defensive stances, and it wasn’t until they did that I noticed we had an audience. Business was still going on in the background, but more than a few had stopped to see if we’d fight.

  “Hey! Is there a problem?” Security stepped up to us, glaring at me and Denim Vest.

  I released him forcefully, sending him stumbling back.

  With authority present, he backed down. “Nah, we cool, officer. We cool.”

  He went and joined his friends as they left for their screening room.

  The security guard turned on me, his gaze full of judgment, and really, I couldn’t blame him. “Look, we don’t need your kind coming in here causing trouble.”

  Jenaya stepped up. “That guy was harassing me, sir.”

  Doubtful, the guard still focused on me. “Son, if I get any more out of you tonight, I’m calling the police. Do we have an understanding?”

  “Yes,” I answered, trying my best to level my tone.

  He wasn’t buying it as he rolled his eyes before walking off.

  The atmosphere returned to a steady equilibrium, but I couldn’t hack it.

  “Hey, we’ll meet you inside,” Jenaya said to Avery.

  She walked me outside into the fresh night air, giving me space as I walked it off.

  Tilting my head back, I shut my eyes and practiced squeezing and closing my fists.

  One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six—

  “It’s okay, Mo,” Jenaya insisted. “He was just a dumbass.”

  “We bo
th know his behavior wasn’t acceptable,” I said, keeping my tone even so as not to lash out at the wrong person. “When a girl says no, it’s not an open invitation for debate. No means no.”

  Jenaya came to stand in front of me, hugging herself. “I know. I’m just used to taking care of myself. No one looks out for me, and I’m used to guys like that. I used to carry pepper spray until I got scared what would happen if it didn’t work.”

  I needed to hit the gym as soon as possible. There was a lot of steam left inside me, and I couldn’t think of a better way to work it off than punching the bag for a few hours. All my anger management lessons and all my attempts to do good, almost lost within the blink of an eye.

  My hands were shaking at the thought of losing it all just like that. I couldn’t allow myself to backslide. I couldn’t.

  I glanced at Jenaya, noting that even if she held a hard exterior, she was still pretty soft, fragile inside. “No one’s going to harass you while I’m around.”

  “I noticed.” Jenaya was blushing. She wasn’t used to having someone have her back, and it was a damn shame.

  My probation was on the line, violence couldn’t always be the answer, but I wouldn’t let some dickhead touch or catcall her in front of me.

  I was still learning, still vulnerable when it came to protectin’ people, but I hadn’t completely lost this battle.

  Maybe there was a chance for me. Maybe I hadn’t fucked up.

  “You good, Lethal Weapon?” Jenaya teased, jabbing my arm.

  I furnished a smile, feeling slightly better. “Yeah.”

  Jenaya came and hooked her arm around mine. “Good, now let’s go laugh our asses off, we could use it.”

  Regan

  Friday night came all too soon. It was all my parents could talk about, my mother with her tips on what to eat, and my father with his watchful eye on my and Troy’s relationship. After picking out the perfect look with Malika Thursday night, I was all set. Still, I was nervous.