The Right Side of Reckless

by Whitney D. Grandison

Amused, he chuckled. “Oh we gotta make this interesting. What’s the prize?”

  I’d be satisfied with beating him, especially after finding him at the pool hall playing alone after hustling college guys for their money. “I don’t know. What do you want?”

  Guillermo blinked and took his bottom lip into his mouth. He soon looked elsewhere, an impish grin washing across his face.

  I narrowed my eyes. “Let me guess, winner gets a lap dance?”

  A heavy look swept through his dark eyes. “I was considering going easy on you. Now, I might wanna win.”

  A fuzzy sensation erupted in my belly. “If I win, I want you to post on your page that you are no longer the pool champ, that Regan London owned you.”

  Guillermo snorted. “Yeah, that ain’t happenin’.”

  “Better get those fingers ready, mister.”

  He sized me up, that cocky demeanor taking over. “Can you even dance?”

  The thing about Guillermo, I was coming to realize, he was every ounce a hot-blooded male. He stood there, gripping his cue stick and staring at me in such a way I felt my palms begin to sweat. I had to fight to concentrate on the task at hand.

  “Uh-huh, but it don’t matter. I’m going to win,” I declared.

  A brow arched. “Oh?”

  “Yep, I’ve been watching YouTube videos.”

  Guillermo flashed me a cute grin as he laughed. “Ay, no, I’m playin’ with a pool shark.”

  His sarcasm made me blush. I would probably lose, but I wouldn’t go down without trying.

  Determined, I gathered my cue stick once more and tried to line up another shot.

  My palms were too sweaty. My grip slipped and my attempt to make a shot ended with me weakly grazing the tip off the cue ball and hitting nothing.

  Crap.

  Guillermo was nice enough not to mock my failure as he came around the table for his turn. Like the seasoned pro he was, he scanned the table, seeming to envision possible moves, planning his victory shot by shot. He leaned over the table, eyes trained on the cue ball before sending the stick toward it harshly. Two striped balls went into a corner pocket. Not done, he rounded the table and found a new angle to secure another ball into a side pocket.

  I shouldn’t have, but as if I were studying for an important exam, I found myself thinking through every detail about Guillermo. From the way he wore his hair back and how his shoulders would sag when he was feeling low and guilty, to the way he was careful whenever touching me, to his strong silence, or even the way he’d goof off with Yesenia whenever I saw him about to take her somewhere. I especially admired his choice to go against the grain and befriend Jenaya, and include Avery in his private circle.

  It was hard to believe he’d ever been a troublemaker. He seemed so incredibly kind and controlled.

  He played pool meticulously, concentrating as he lined up each shot. He won the game in a matter of seconds, and it felt like he’d gone around the table in a calm blur.

  I couldn’t look at him when he was done, I was too busy pouting. How was he so good?

  I felt him come up beside me, his presence demanding my attention. A look found a playful gleam in his eyes. “You were saying?”

  What could I even say? He’d won, quickly and brutally.

  “Fine.” I pretended to huff. “What do you want?”

  Guillermo looked thoughtful, and soon he was pulling out his phone and swiping the screen. Seconds later, an old familiar song began playing. It was “The Hokey Pokey.”

  Confused, I asked, “What?”

  “I want to see you dance.” The devilish grin he tossed me almost made me laugh, but I could tell he was serious. He held his hand out. “Give me your phone.”

  I took a step back and Guillermo took a step closer. “Huh?”

  “You wanted me to post my loss on my page, but since I won, I want to post you doing a little dance for me.”

  My mouth dropped open. “You’re not serious!”

  He fiddled with his phone. “I won, and one thing about me, Regan, I always collect.”

  The atmosphere electrified and the humor was gone. I swallowed, unsure what I was feeling or how to react to it.

  Guillermo furrowed his brows, losing his smile. “On second thought, you should go.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want to do something really stupid right now.” He spoke directly to my lips.

  “Stupid, huh?” My brain told me to leave, but my legs stayed planted where they were. Curiosity had me ready to risk it all.

  His arms circled my waist and my feet left the ground as he lifted me up and set me on top of the pool table. Oh. He came close, inches from my lips. I could feel his breath across my skin. “Very stupid.”

  It felt like gravity wanted us closer, and I could feel us hovering just centimeters away from something that would be mind-blowing.

  Reaching out a shaky hand, I caught a loose strand of his hair, coiling its silkiness around my finger.

  Closer.

  We were hypnotized by the charge between us and I could almost close my eyes.

  Closer.

  I’d been kissed before, but this was something I wanted to know about. What would kissing Guillermo Lozano feel like?

  We were chest to chest, sharing the same breath, thoughts—this moment. His hot hands singed my skin, boiling my blood, sinking down to the bone. His devilish full lips were tempting, too tempting.

  Closer—

  I snapped out of my haze, suddenly remembering one major thing: Troy.

  Jerking away, I rushed off the table and was halfway to the door when Guillermo shouted from behind me. “Regan, wait! I’m sorry!”

  I didn’t stick around to hear him out. I flew back to the front desk, where Daren was just coming in from his cigarette break.

  “You okay? You look a little flushed.” Daren slowly removed his jacket, looking over at me.

  My cheeks felt hot as guilt washed over me. How could I have lost my head like that? “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  I issued a convincing smile before excusing myself to go to the restroom. I steadied myself against the edge of the sink, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.

  It had been so easy, so fluid, so fun and so natural—but so wrong.

  The trouble was, I found myself questioning how could something so wrong feel so right.

  Guillermo

  The one good thing about the rain? It washed away everything—well, almost everything. When I stepped out of the community center Thursday night, I’d gotten soaked walking to my car. At the time, I hadn’t cared. I let the rain come down on me, hoping it would wash away my sins.

  It didn’t.

  I had almost fucked up, and I couldn’t shake the unease.

  The plan had been to stay away from Regan, but then she’d stepped into the fitness center and I got caught under her spell. When she’d appeared in the doorway with a halo of light coming down on her from the hallway, I could’ve sworn I was looking at an angel. The closer she got to me, the more my common sense went out the window.

  She wasn’t even my type, but there was no denying the truth: I had it bad for her. Against all logic and reason, I went along with her to play a game of pool, I teased her, I watched her—I flirted just a little. And then I lost it and almost fucking kissed her.

  She’d fled from the room, and as much as my feet were itchin’ to chase after her, I didn’t. It was better this way. We should stay apart.

  I didn’t eat dinner that night. I avoided my family as I went up to my room and forced myself to go straight to bed.

  Bad idea.

  As soon as I closed my eyes, I was enveloped in the sight of her. I could feel her soft skin, smell her pretty perfume, hear her cute little laugh, remember the bravery she’d had when she took charge and rescued Simba.r />
  Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep Thursday night and as I pulled myself together to get ready for school Friday morning, I was more than a little cranky.

  “You don’t look so good.” My mother caught me down in the kitchen. She frowned as she placed the back of her hand to my cheek. “You feelin’ sick?”

  She had no idea. “Just didn’t get any sleep.”

  She took a motherly stance, hand on her hip. “You shouldn’t be out so late in the rain like that. You might be coming down with something.”

  Catching a cold was my due after the events of the previous evening. Because even as I felt guilty, another part of me ached to know what Regan London’s lips felt like. Beyond those damn dimples I admired so much, she had pretty lips with a perfect cupid’s bow that I wanted to—

  Fuck!

  “Trust me.” I focused on my mother. “I won’t be doing that ever again.”

  Satisfied, she backed off. “Good, you missed dinner.”

  Missing a meal was like an insult in my family. The fact that my absence bothered her caused me to smile. We really were moving forward, my family and me. I couldn’t mess that up.

  I promised that I’d be home in time for dinner after my shift at the community center, then slipped out the door and took a gulp of the fresh morning air. The happy sound of birds chirping brought my attention to the new day ahead of me; another shot at redeeming myself and starting over.

  “Memo!” Raviv shouted to me from down the sidewalk as he made his way over.

  I slapped my palm against his and reeled him in for a brief hug and pat on the back. “Sup?”

  “Don’t worry.” He flashed me a smile and held up a hand. “I’m not about to rope you into a game of soccer. Cami and I were thinkin’ about going to see that new Frank Grillo movie tomorrow, I think he’s a cop in this one. You down? You could invite Jenaya and we’ll make it a group thing.”

  He was really making an effort after his suggestive comments about her. I liked that about Raviv—he could admit he was wrong and move on and not let ego get in the way. Jenaya was great, and I was starting to see that Raviv was, too.

  “Think we can squeeze in Avery?” I asked. He was a self-confessed homebody, but when he’d gone to the movies with Jenaya and me the week before, he’d had fun, letting loose and laughing alongside us.

  Raviv didn’t give this a second thought. “Sure, let me know what they all say and we’ll figure out a time.”

  He went back to his house while I made a mental note to ask Jenaya and Avery if they were free Saturday evening. I was off from the center at four, so my night was pretty much free.

  Across the street, the Londons’ front door opened, and it was just my luck that Regan came outside. Would we play it cool and pretend it never happened? Or would she avoid me like I planned to do with her?

  There was no hiding, being out in the open like this. Instead of playing awkward, Regan evidently decided to cross the street and come right over to me.

  Despite the fact that I wanted to do what was best and leave her alone, I knew I owed her an apology. I should’ve known better and done better. Mrs. London had warned me, and I hadn’t listened, but I would do better now.

  “Hey.” She didn’t get too close, standing back on the sidewalk while I stood in my driveway beside my Charger. “Can we talk?”

  I buried my hands in my pockets and dared to take a step closer. “I’m sorry about last night.”

  Regan frowned. “Don’t be.”

  “I lost my head,” I insisted. I was caught up in your energy, drowning in intoxicating waves of you. “I never want to feel like I’m takin’ advantage of you or makin’ you uncomfortable.”

  “You didn’t, and it wasn’t like that for me.” She wouldn’t look me in the eyes. “I wasn’t uncomfortable, Guillermo.”

  Maybe she was lying to save face, but I still didn’t feel too good. “It won’t happen again.”

  Regan tentatively nodded. “I’m sorry, too, I...I know better, but I wasn’t on my best behavior either. Let’s just forget it happened, okay?”

  With that, I disagreed. I would forgive myself for nearly slipping up, but I wouldn’t forget.

  “Listen...” I rubbed the back of my neck. “We can’t do this anymore. We should just not be cool.”

  A wounded look crossed her face. “What? Why?”

  “You’ve got problems I can’t fix.”

  She looked at me incredulously. “I didn’t ask you to.”

  “That’s just it—this is my weakness, pretty girls with issues,” I said. But even that didn’t sum up Regan. “You’re more than just a pretty girl, you’re smart, you’re innocent, you’re brave, you’re silly when you want to be, you’re nothing like what I’m used to, and I like that. I can’t like that. I can’t like you, even as friends. You’re distracting. We almost kissed, and it’s all I can think about. I don’t like almost. The more I think about it, the more I want it, and I can’t want it.”

  “Guillermo—”

  I took a step back, putting much needed space between us. “You got a good thing going with your boyfriend, don’t waste time on me. I’m no good, but I’m tryin’ to be.”

  As the morning wind rushed through her hair, I forced myself to stay where I was and not brush it out of her face. “I understand,” she said at last.

  “I’m going to see you around, so it’s not like I want to be enemies, okay?”

  Regan nodded, hugging herself as she looked toward her house. “I better get going before my dad sees us.” She didn’t look at me as she turned away. “Goodbye, Guillermo.”

  “Bye, Regan.”

  I didn’t watch her cross the street. Instead, I got behind the wheel of my Charger and buckled in. But when I checked the rearview mirror, I saw her stiffly approach her father’s SUV and climb into the passenger seat. It didn’t feel too good, but this was for the best. Regan London needed to be in my rearview.

  Regan

  Two hands covered my eyes, blinding me as I attempted to shove my books into my locker at the end of the day. The hands were distinctively male, I could tell by their size and rough texture.

  “Guess who.”

  I recognized his voice instantly. “I don’t know, is it...Troy?”

  He released me, stepping back and allowing me to turn and face him. Smiling, he handed over a gold metallic gift bag. “Here, I cut last period to get you this.”

  I accepted the bag and dug inside to find a brand-new folded gray fleece, a mini basket filled with movie theater candy from Skittles to M&Ms, and a card.

  “What’s all this?” I asked, looking up at him.

  “It’s Friday night, I figured we could head to that hill at Goodyear Park and watch the sun set, and if it’s not too late after maybe we could go to my house and watch a movie.” Troy held his hands up. “Don’t worry, my parents are home.”

  There was a fat glob of hope in his eyes that the slightest prick of a possible no could burst.

  How could I say no when it was the sweetest gesture?

  I shut my locker and let Troy take me under his arm. He walked me down the hall, leading the way to the nearest exit so we could go to his car. Or at least, we tried to.

  “Ready for tomorrow’s game?” A science teacher caught him on the way down the hall.

  Troy puffed up his chest. “Definitely.”

  I took the time to open and read Troy’s card while another teacher jumped in to question him about the upcoming game.

  The front cover was a watercolor image of a Black man and woman, tangled up in each other like some sort of human yin and yang symbol. Inside, Troy had written a short, but romantic note.

  Just because you’re my biggest support, my truest friend, and the apple of my eye. I love you, Rey, to the moon and back—Troy

  He was still talk
ing, but I didn’t care as I rose on my toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek to show my appreciation. It reminded me of the beginning, of him letting that football ego go and just being Troy while he pursued me.

  When his fan club finally let him go, he settled down with a shake of his head.

  “You nervous?” I wondered.

  He made a face. “It’s Garfield, we got this in the bag.”

  Once we were outside, we bumped into Avery.

  “Hey, I was thinking we should hang out sometime. Maybe throw the ball around or watch some of those cartoons you’re always watching,” Troy said.

  Avery awkwardly looked to me and back to Troy. “Anime?”

  “Yeah, that.”

  I couldn’t help but grin at the supportive effort Troy was putting forward.

  “Uh, sure. You ever hear of Fullmetal Alchemist?”

  Troy blinked. “No.”

  “One Piece?”

  “Nah.”

  Avery sighed. “You gotta at least know Dragon Ball Z.”

  To this Troy was quick to lighten up. “Hell yeah, my cousins used to watch that.”

  “Guess we have a winner,” Avery responded.

  “Need a ride?” Troy asked as he reached out and slapped Avery’s shoulder. It didn’t look hard, but Avery still flinched and moved a step back.

  “Nah, I’m riding with Mo,” he said.

  Guillermo.

  Just like that, all sense of joy washed away as the uneasiness I’d felt that morning came rushing back. He’d told me we couldn’t be friends, and I couldn’t understand the knifelike twist in my gut at the idea. Even as I’d stood right next to him, it had felt like miles were between us.

  We’d almost kissed yesterday, a fact that made me feel guilty as I held Troy’s hand. But still, we hadn’t. I’d caught myself before I lost it.

  I forced myself to glance down at the pavement, to avoid looking around the parking lot for Guillermo. To possibly catch further rejection in his dark eyes.

  Troy let Avery go and we got into his car, my mood disturbed for no reason other than some strange bout of selfishness.

  “So how about it?” Troy asked me five minutes later as he pulled up to my house and parked. He didn’t turn the car off; he wasn’t coming in.