I took her to the den and asked her what was wrong. She was missing her mother, but, of course, she would be, she’s just three years old. So we called Kristin. Faye was so excited, and her tears had stopped. With the phone on loudspeaker, Kristin answered, but it wasn’t the conversation Faye, or I expected.
“Bryan? Is everything all right?” She asked.
“Yeah. Faye is just missing you. She’d like to talk to you.”
Faye was smiling so wide; I’m sure her little face was hurting. Kristin, on the other hand, huffed and then grumbled about it being so late there, and how she could only spare a few minutes. That pissed me off like you wouldn’t believe.
Nevertheless, I handed the phone to Faye.
“Hi, Mommy,”
“What’s wrong, Faye?” There was no sweetness in Kristin’s voice for her little girl.
“I am missing you, Mommy.” She told her mother while rubbing her little nose with her knuckles.
I could practically sense Kristin rolling her eyes. “You need to get over it, Faye, I’m swamped here. You wanted to stay with your dad, so I took you there. You should be enjoying yourself. What the hell do you want me to do? You want me to send for you and bring you here?”
“But my Daddy,” The tears in my daughter’s eyes because of her mother, had my blood boiling. That bitch had no compassion for our three-year-old at all.
“You can’t have it both ways, Faye!”
Faye began to cry, I snatched the phone and turned it off loudspeaker. “You bitch!” I snapped down the phone. That poor baby was sobbing so hard it tore me apart. “How could you talk to her like that? She misses you. Any decent mother would have consoled her, made her feel safe in the knowledge that you’ll be back for her soon!”
“Whatever, Bryan. Like I just told Faye, I’ll send for her, she won’t miss me then.”
“No way on this earth will I allow you to take Faye anywhere. You don’t even give a damn how much you’ve hurt her right now, do you?”
“I don’t have time for this; I’m exhausted. This is your time with Faye, make the most of it.” That’s when she ended the call.
I was so angry; my stomach was churning, my body so hot my head began to spin. It was my baby’s cries that stopped me from smashing the damn room to bits. I turned on the spot, eyes wide. I’d scared my little girl. I grabbed her up in my arms and held her so close to me. “I’m so sorry, baby. Daddy is so sorry.”
I ended up taking Faye for a drive to calm her down. I didn’t take her far, just for ice cream. I didn’t even think about Ricky and the fact I didn’t tell her I was leaving. I could only imagine what she must have been thinking.
“Daddy?” I look at my little girl through the rearview mirror. She’s sitting in her car seat, her eyes still red from crying so hard, even after over an hour later.
“What is it, sweetheart?”
“I want Wicky.” I smile. Faye loves Ricky so much, and I know Ricky loves Faye just as much. “Wicky loves me.”
“Yes, she does. Do you love Ricky, Faye?”
“Yes. Wicky weads me stowies, and she hugs me tight and tells me that she loves me.” There’s so much sadness in her little voice, and I know she wishes her mother could be like Ricky right now. It’s Kristin’s job to show Faye that she’s the most important thing in the world. Instead, it’s Ricky who’s doing that. As much as I love Ricky, and God knows that I do, it shouldn’t be down to her to be a mother to Faye.
Right now, I could gladly strangle Kristin for the way she’s hurt, my baby girl. Your children should be the most important people in your life. No one above them, not even the person you love. Kristin has never done that where Faye is concerned. Her men have always come first. When she doesn’t have one of those around, she’s all over Faye, Faye is her life only then.
It shouldn’t be that way, not for any child, but especially not for my child. I’m in the mindset right now to file for sole custody. Faye would be better off here with Ricky and me. She’d have a stable home life with us. No being passed around, no being ignored. She’d always come first. Just as she always does with me.
I lift Faye from the car, and her sad little smile hurts me deep inside. I hate seeing my daughter so upset; it’s not something any father wants to see from his little girl.
Bob’s sitting in the living room watching some old cop show rerun. “Hey, Bob, Ricky around?”
He looks up from his seat beside the open fire. He looks comfortable in his pajamas and slippers, sitting in the high-backed armchair. “Good evening.” He smiles. Yeah, I may have kept Faye out a little longer than I should have. It’s not too late, of course, but later than I realized. “Ricky is upstairs.” He looks at Faye and then to me. “She’s a little upset.”
“Upset?” What could she be upset about? Oh. Faye. Bob nods as recognition flashes over my face. “Do you need anything before I go up and see her?”
“No, son, Ricky already made me a cup of tea, and I have my show, I’m all set.”
I leave Bob to his show and go up to my room. The door is open a jar. I can hear Ricky crying from here. God, I’ve been so insensitive, she must have been thinking she’d done something wrong, and that’s why Faye was so upset. Shit!
Pushing the door open, Ricky instantly jumps up out of her seat on the bed, wiping her eyes and sniffing. “Bry. Is she okay? I’m so sorry...”
“Wicky!” I place Faye her feet, and she runs straight toward Ricky, little arms in the air. Ricky doesn’t even hesitate to lift Faye and hold her close. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too, baby. Bryan, I’m so sorry, I never meant to upset her. I don’t even know...” I cut Ricky off while placing my finger against her lips. I hate that she’s been crying over this, and I hate that it’s because of me and my insensitivity.
Faye is clinging to Ricky so tightly. She needs her as much as I do. “You didn’t do anything to upset her, baby. Faye had a great time with you. She was missing her mother, so I let her call. It didn’t go too well, and it destroyed her.”
Ricky strokes the back of Faye’s head, which is leaning against her shoulder. She plants a kiss on her head before leaning in to the touch of my hand on her face.
“How can she be that way with her little girl?”
“Because she thinks of no one but herself. I needed to calm Faye, so I took her for ice cream. Baby, I didn’t even think. God, I’m sorry.” I kiss her head, wrapping my arms around both of them, holding the two most important people in the world to me close.
“I thought I’d done something to hurt her. It hurt so much. Then I thought it would be best if I left bec...”
“Not a chance in hell, are you leaving, Ricky!” She looks up at me, and her beautiful eyes are red from crying. “Sweetheart, I don’t want you to go anywhere. I want you here with me permanently.”
“Really? You don’t want me to leave at all?”
“No. I want you to come home. Stay with me, Ricky. Please?”
She giggles and nods her head. “I have nothing to stay in Charlotte for, so, of course, I’ll come home.” God, she has no idea how much I needed to hear that. I kiss her softly.
“Can I sleep in bed with you guys?” We both laugh, and I tell my little girl that she can sleep safe and sound in bed with Ricky and me.
Chapter 22
Ricky
It’s so good having you here, Lyric.” I smile at Bryan’s mom as I help her plate up the cookies she’s just taken out of the oven.
“It’s good to be here. Thank you so much for having me.”
“Oh, Lyric,” She takes my forearm gently, I turn to face her, still smiling. “You don’t have to thank me; we’re your family. Having you here with us, Faye, too, it’s the best Christmas present I could have asked for.”
It’s the best Christmas present I could have asked for, too. I’ve spent far too many alone eating ramen noodles instead of turkey and all the trimmings. This today has been perfect.
I feel a little
emotional. Marie has always been so lovely to me, more like a mother than my own. Never has she so much as told me off for something I’ve done that she’s perceived as wrong.
When I was fourteen, she caught me smoking. It was the only time I tried a cigarette. Mandy Jenkins had stolen one from her father. I shouldn’t have even been talking to her; Ray couldn’t stand her family. They weren’t religious, so obviously never attended church. That didn’t make them bad people in my eyes, but his? That made them devils. It also meant that Mandy was a bad influence, a wrong-un as Ray referred to her.
Mandy and I took turns in smoking this cigarette, hidden between the library and the bakery in town. Well, we thought we were hidden. I hadn’t noticed Marie coming toward me. As soon as I saw her, I dropped the cigarette in fright. She told us that smoking was harmful to us, and beautiful girls like Mandy and I shouldn’t do anything that could harm us. She then sent Mandy home with a promise not to tell her parents as long as she didn’t do anything so silly again.
She then walked me back to her house. Once we were there; she told me to go rinse out my mouth in the bathroom with mouthwash, and to also wash my hands and face. Once I’d done that, she sat me down and gave me a talking to. She wasn’t harsh with me, and she didn’t make me feel like I needed to be beaten because of what I’d done as Ray would have.
No. Marie held me in her arms and told me how much she loved me and how she never wanted to see me hurt. She told me that if Ray had found me instead of her, it would have been a very different story.
Marie never did tell my parents what had gone on that day. I also never touched another cigarette again. I made a promise to her, and I didn’t break that promise.
What I did break was her son’s heart, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that.
I know Bryan says he’s forgiven me, that we can move on, he even wants me to move back home so we can be together. I want that more than anything, but there will always be the thought in my head that he doubts me somehow. Moreover, that’s my insecurity, and I’ll have to deal with it in my own way.
Bryan is trying so hard, though. Especially after the other day, when I thought I’d done something to upset Faye. I honestly thought he was coming into that bedroom to tell me he’d like me to leave.
He didn’t.
Little Faye threw herself at me, arms around my neck so tightly. I hadn’t hurt her; she was missing her mother. The day we’d spent together had reminded that little girl that she never did those things with her mother. Even calling Kristin didn’t go well for Faye.
That poor baby. I swear, I could swing for her mother!
She has been quite clingy to me the past couple of days. Not that I mind, but I’m scared of her getting too attached, and how hurt she’ll be when her mother arrives home and takes her from us. In fact, I know it’s going to kill me when she has to leave. I’ve fallen in love with that little girl.
She woke this morning with the biggest, most excited squeal known to man. She was so happy to see all the presents under the tree. Bryan and I spoiled her, and Faye told us she’d never had so many gifts in her life.
I bought Faye, a new doll and a stroller for it. I also bought her a little friendship ring, one so she’ll know that I’ll always be there for her. She sat on my lap and told me how she never wants me to leave because I’m her best friend. As sad as it sounds, that meant the world to me.
Of course, once we got the presents out the way, we had breakfast and changed for the day. Faye in her little blue tutu style Christmas dress, me in my blue dress with the sparkly neckline. Bryan pulled on a pair of jeans and a black button-down shirt with a blue tie that matched the color of mine and Faye’s dresses. Bob wore his usual suit, and the four of us set out for church. It was nice being with the community again. Everyone has been so welcoming since I’ve been home.
After church, we came back to Bryan’s parents for dinner. I helped Marie in the kitchen with a smile on my face. Feeling at home is so easy here. After lunch, I helped her with the cookies, and now we’re standing here having a heart to heart. There’s no one else I would feel comfortable enough with to be able to talk so freely.
“Thank you for everything,” I tell Marie while wrapping my arms around her. There’s no need for any more words on the matter; she knows what I mean.
Marie pulls me at arm’s length and smiles. “Let’s get these’s cookies to Faye.” She cups my face for a second and then pulls away.
I watch from my spot at the living room door, Bryan and Faye as they play a board game on the rug by the fire. The way they interact and the way Bryan makes silly voices to make Faye laugh hysterically is perfect. All I can think is, this is my family, this man, and this little girl. They are everything to me, and I would move heaven and earth for them.
I am a fortunate girl. Bryan has given me this second chance so easily. We can finally have the life we dreamed of all those years ago. All those plans I made in my head when I was a kid can now come true.
Bryan notices me watching him. He smirks and gets to his feet, making his way over to me. He grabs my waist, and I clutch his biceps. “I’ve got one more present for you.”
“But you already gave me a gift.” He gave me a beautiful locket necklace. The locket is in the shape of a heart, white gold, and inside is a picture of Bryan and me, and on the other side is a picture of Bryan and Faye. I love it so much. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.
It made my gift to him look thoughtless. I bought him a watch. God, of all the boring things to buy a man, a damn watch?
Faye gave him a framed picture of the three of us. She badgered me until I gave in a got it for her. She knew her daddy would love it, and he did. He loved it so much he set it on the mantel in the den for everyone who comes over to see. We look like such a happy family in that picture.
“This is something I’ve had for a very long time.”
I narrow my eyes; everyone is watching us. I feel like an animal in the zoo being gorked at.
Okay, I feel sick. My heart is pounding as Bryan gets down on one knee. Oh god! He pulls a small ring sized box from his jeans pocket, opens it up, and takes my hand. I haven’t looked at the ring yet because I can’t take my eyes off Bryan’s face.
“My beautiful Lyric,” He’s doing it. He’s actually doing it! “I have loved you my whole life. You’ve loved me just as long, haven’t you?”
“Yes,” I giggle. “I have always loved you, Bryan.”
“All those years ago, I told you that we’d one day be husband and wife. Things happened, and we were torn apart, but those things are long gone now. Nothing is stopping us from being together now, baby girl. Nothing and no one can stop it when it’s our destiny, Ricky.”
The hushed giggles draw my eyes for a second. My gorgeous little, soon-to-be stepdaughter is sitting on Tyler’s lap, watching us with a massive smile on her face. At least I know she’s happy about this. I kind of wonder if Bryan has spoken to her about it.
“Lyric,” I look down at the most amazing man in the world and smile. “Will you do me the greatest honor in becoming my wife?”
I haven’t been home long enough for this. We haven’t been together long enough to even think about marriage, but what the hell does that matter when we’ve loved each other endlessly our whole lives?
Nine years apart didn’t null the love we feel for each other; it only intensified it. He is mine, and I am his. Man and wife are what we’ve always been destined to be. I believe that with my whole heart.
“You so know that I will!” I laugh as he slides the ring on my finger, gets to his feet, and lifts me off of mine.
“I love you so much, baby.” He mumbles against my lips.
“I love you, too.”
We’re dragged around and congratulated, and I can hardly believe this is happening! I’m not going to question why Bryan has so willingly forgiven me, and I’m not going to ask God why he’s given me this happiness, because I know I des
erve this. After everything I’ve been through, after everything Bryan has been through, we’re still here loving each other.
Plus, it was written in the stars that we’d marry. We belong together, and that’s just the way it is.
* * *
Today has been perfect. Literally. We’ve celebrated the fact we’re so cliché and plan to get married on Valentine’s Day. Okay, Bryan sprang it on me. Said he didn’t want to wait, we’ve waited long enough.
He’s right.
So, Valentine’s Day, it is!
Faye will still be here with us, which means she can be my little bridesmaid, something that has pleased her no end.
It is a sad state of affairs that will see me marry the man I love without my family there. I don’t care that Ray won’t be there, he was never a father to me anyway. There’s no way I’ll ever even ask about my birth father; I doubt anyone would know anything, even if I did. I don’t need a man like that in my life.
I have no idea what my mother went through or how it happened, but I imagine it was awful for her. No woman should ever have to go through something so terrible as rape. Her choices were taken from her. She was left pregnant with me, and from what Ray said, she wanted to keep me regardless of what happened to her.
I can’t imagine how she begged Ray to allow her to keep her baby. For some reason, he allowed it. However, looking back, now I understand why he mistreated me. Why he can show love to Kendal but not to me, he hated me, resented me for what happened to his wife. Like it was my fault, I was born.
Somewhere inside of me, I hope that Ray was there for my mom when she needed him. I hope he found it in himself to hold her through her pain and make it better somehow. Sadly, I have a horrible feeling that he blamed her, used God’s name against her. That hurts my heart so much. She may not have been a very good mother to me, but I love her regardless, and I would never wish harm to her in any way.
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