Throwback

by Zeia Jameson

  I pull my arm back and I bounce my glance between Nancy and Ronny. “Nancy, I’ve hated you for so long, and I probably will never be able to forget what you did to me. But, I’m ok. And I get it. You were sick and now you are better and you are trying to right your wrong. It doesn’t excuse what you did but I do have to recognize the fact that you had the courage to come here at all. You could have just let things stay as they were and never contacted me again. But you didn’t, and I respect that. I don’t know where we go from here.” I look up at the ceiling to attempt to hold back tears. “But I do think it might be nice if you two stayed to help us celebrate.”

  They both smile. Ronny hugs Nancy and Nancy nods, “Yes, of course! Thank you.”

  I nod back.

  Nancy stands, “I’m going to go find the ladies’ room and freshen up.”

  “Ok,” I exhale. I feel the weight of seventeen years of loathing slowly dissipate.

  ~~~

  “I added the romance book. I knew that hot, sexy detective would get you stirring, Livy.” The room erupts with laughter. Rosalie and Maxwell look at each other with furrowed brows and slanted grins. I think they are both trying to tune out parts of this conversation, but they are taking everything being said in the context of good fun.

  “Maggie, you are a dirty girl!” I say, “And by the way, I need to lend you some of my books. That shit was terrible!” I say as I take a swig of water, trying to avoid a hangover from my earlier binge.

  “Whatever,” Maggie argues. “It made the point, right?” I smile and nod. “Yes, it did.”

  “The candles were my idea,” Rosalie says. “I still have a shirt of your father’s, Jeremy, that smells like him to this day. That scent always takes me back to when we first met.” She closes her eyes and tilts her head up a little in reminiscence.

  Joe raises his hand, “I thought about the music. I remember a few times before I sold the bar, peeking out from the office. Jeremy would be sitting on that corner stool, watching you sing whenever someone played Janis on the jukebox.” I look over at Jeremy. I thought the first time he had heard me sing that song was in the shower. Apparently, he had witnessed it at the bar as well, and I had been oblivious. Jeremy gives me a slight shrug and a smile as to say, “what’s a guy to do?”

  “I remembered you had a scrapbook of all the places you guys had traveled,” says Maggie.

  “Yeah but how did you get it?” I ask, still unsure.

  Jenna chimes in. “I broke into your house one day when you were both gone. Well, technically not broke in, I mean, I have the key you gave me. I also hacked into your phone and stole all your pictures one afternoon while we were having lunch, Livy. You had to take Amelia to the restroom to change her. I knew I would have plenty of time to get what I needed. I knew if there were pictures on your phone that hadn’t been shared with anyone else, it would elevate the mystery. I have to say that I am extremely grateful that you two aren’t the sexting type.” Everyone laughs again.

  “Well, thanks for putting that out there, Jenna!” I say with fake embarrassment. If Jeremy and I had been the sexting type, any reaction she had to seeing that would have been her own damn fault for snooping.

  Maybe we’ll start being the sexting type. It might not be a bad idea. I look at Jeremy and give him an eyebrow raise. He gives me a wink in understanding.

  I look around the table at all of the people sitting with Jeremy and me. “Jeez, you are just a bunch of dirty, deceitful thieves. Remind me why I hang out with you all again?”

  “Because you love us,” Sara says, “Just so you know, I wrote all of the instructions.” She winks. I know she knew we were waiting for that confession, specifically regarding the Fuck card. I smile and wink back.

  “What instructions?” Rosalie asks. Sara clears her throat and looks at me like she’s trying to find the right words. “Well, after we came up with so many good ideas, I knew if we just threw it all in a plain old box, they wouldn’t get it. That’s why I volunteered to organize everything and have it delivered. I had found an old trunk at a consignment store about six months ago. I loved it, but I had no idea what I was going to do with it. So, I just bought it and I knew I would put it to some use eventually. Then, I thought it was perfect to hold all of the items that we’d collected for you two. I put everything in the trunk and each item came with a list of instructions. I thought the order I put it in would help it all make sense.” She shoots a devilish grin my way.

  “Sara, you did a great job. Really. Thank you. But how on earth did you figure all of this out? I mean, no offense, but you aren’t married.” I notice Craig do a slight, uncomfortable shift in his seat.

  “No, Livy. But I know you and Jeremy. That’s all the knowledge I needed.”

  I smile at her. The fact that she put so much effort into helping us warms my heart. I’ve only seen her a handful of times since she moved to Connecticut, yet she cared about us so much that she took the reins on Nancy’s idea and customized it just for us because she knew how to make it most effective. I am truly in awe.

  “How did you even know about this, Sara?” I ask.

  “Jenna called me. She said it was a family emergency. I came into town a few weekends ago. I’m sorry I didn’t come see you. I only stayed the night to do my part. Plus, after I had found out what was going on and that your mother was involved, I knew I wouldn’t be able to see you without spilling the beans. So, I came in on a Saturday. We all got together,” She circles her hand above and around the table, implicating all of the involved parties, “Rosalie, Maggie, Jenna and I met with Nancy for dinner and we talked about what we were going to do. After Nancy talked about the journals, Rosalie mentioned we could add more items as well, to help stir up some good memories. So, I told everyone that I had a great idea and that they should all mail me within that week what they wanted to contribute. Nancy sent the journals, Rosalie sent the candles, Jenna sent the pictures, Maggie sent the book. I even called Joe to see if he had any suggestions. He sent me the record and the player. After I had everything, I started on the instructions to help put it all together.”

  She smirks. She didn’t mention the porn. I’m dying to know who sent the porn. I’m looking around the table to see if anyone looks guilty but no one is letting on. I will have to pull Sara aside later and find out. I can tell by the look in her face, she is loving that she has one little fact that is still a mystery. This girl and her drama. I’m glad she hasn’t mentioned it out in open forum though, or that any one has. I am hands down certain that neither Rosalie nor Maxwell knows about the DVD and I think more than one person in this room would be mortified if they found out.

  “Wow, Sara, you really took my idea and ran with it,” Nancy says.

  “Yeah. I mean your idea was great. I just wanted to try to make it fool proof. I do medical research for a living. I like to put things in a particular, chronological format so that theorems work exactly as they should.”

  I find it amusing that she considered mine and Jeremy’s relationship as a theorem—like we were some kind of social experiment. I guess to her scientific brain, we were in some sorts.

  “Well, bravo!” Nancy says. “Bravo to everyone.” Nancy raises her cup of soda. “It seems as though we pulled it off.” Everyone raises their cups in the air including myself and Jeremy. I look over at Jeremy. I can see every ounce of love he has for me in his eyes and I hope he can see mine as well. He leans over and kisses me. “It seems as though you are correct,” Jeremy says to Nancy.

  With everyone’s cup still raised, Joe pipes in, “To Jeremy and Livy. May they learn from their mistakes and stop being so stubborn and stupid. And may they have a long life of happiness.”

  “Cheers!” Everyone else says while laughing and smiling at Jeremy and me.

  I take another sip of my water. I look over at Maxwell. “I do have one more question. Maxwell, Nancy said she came to you a month ago and you told her Jeremy and I were having issues. I only told you about our issues two week
s ago. How did you already know we were having problems?”

  “The last time I came to visit, I could see it all over your face. I thought perhaps I was mistaken so I didn’t mention it to you. But I called Rosalie later in the week and she said she was also concerned.” I look over at Rosalie. She nods only slightly. Maxwell continues, “Rosalie and I tried to figure out what to do ourselves. Rosalie said she had tried to help you with Amelia, but you were so steadfast on doing everything on your own. And she told me that she and Jenna both kept telling Jeremy he needed to take a break from work, but he just kept brushing them off. We didn’t know what to do. And then,” He looks over at Nancy, and they exchange smiles, “as if some strange sign from above, your mother shows up on my doorstep. We spent a day talking about her and then talking about you. She said she wanted to know where you were and I was adamant that she shouldn’t get mixed up in your business at the moment because you and Jeremy were struggling. I told her that she didn’t need to add to any stress that was already there. But, she said she wanted to help and I told her it wasn’t a good idea until she mentioned the anonymous letter. Somehow, she made it sound like a really good idea. But, since Rosalie and Jenna had already been trying to help, I wanted them involved too. And of course, they got Sara and Maggie involved.”

  I think for a second. “But you didn’t contribute anything to the trunk.”

  “No, I didn’t,” he confirms. “Rosalie called and told me about sending stuff to Sara. But I couldn’t think of anything to give you that wouldn’t give away that I was involved in the plan. Sara made it clear that you two couldn’t know who sent the trunk to you.”

  Sara smiles. “I thought you would take it more seriously if you didn’t know it was just family trying to get all up in your business.”

  Everyone laughs. But she is probably right.

  “So Sara called me one night and asked if I had sent anything. I told her no because all I could think to send were pictures of me and your grandmother and that would have blown our cover. She told me that she had enough to go with already and that when it was all over and out in the open, I could give you those things afterward.”

  “That’s why I took the trunk back,” Sara said. “I used Jenna’s key and snuck in early this morning.” She smiles again.

  “So you…” I stop and think, trying to figure out how to ask her cryptically if she heard Jeremy and me in the bedroom.

  Sara shakes her head immediately, knowing what I’m trying to ask. She created the Fuck card so she knew we’d be occupied in the bedroom and she could sneak in at some point and take everything, leaving only the final card. But how did she know we wouldn’t be tangled up in the living room, or hell, even in the kitchen? And did she hear anything? “I was in and out, five minutes, like a ninja,” she says. “I came early this morning because I thought you’d be sleeping.” She winks. Only Jeremy and I notice the wink. She’s only saying that in front of everyone so she doesn’t lead on that she knows what we were doing when she came by. And really I think the reason we didn’t hear her come in was because we were too focused on each other. There’s no way she didn’t hear us. I have a lot of questions to ask her, one-on-one, later.

  “So, I have the trunk here and we’ve all added some more things to it—more personal stuff. You’ll have plenty of time to look at it when you get home. Jeremy, you still have the rest of the week off and Livy, Rosalie and Maggie may never give Amelia back,” Sara jokes.

  Rosalie chuckles, “Of course we will! But not until Friday, as agreed.”

  I look at Jeremy, “I think another two days alone with Jeremy will be ok.” I smile. He returns a smile to me.

  I look around at everyone. “I can’t believe all of you did this for us.” I grab Jeremy’s hand, “Thank you. All of you.”

  This whole room of people came together to help us. And they did it in secret because they knew we wouldn’t have accepted it otherwise. They knew us better than we knew ourselves. Even my own estranged mother knew how to help. And none of the rest may have figured out the right thing to do if she hadn’t started the suggestion. My thoughts spin in wonderment over the reality of the entire situation.

  I looked around the room again at our wildly disjointed, crazy family.

  Jeremy and Amelia.

  Rosalie, Maggie, Jenna and Mike.

  Sara and Craig.

  Joe and Vicky.

  My granddad.

  My parents.

  Parents.

  Jeremy showed me love.

  Love that I was then able to share with Amelia.

  Love that allowed me to heal from my past and move forward.

  Love that may give me the strength, courage and trust I need to possibly consider having a relationship with my parents.

  Parents.

  That love is present within me and it is lingering and radiating throughout the room. Its force is greater than anything I’ve ever felt. Jeremy’s love helped me become a better person and I will be eternally grateful. But the love in this room right now is by far the best type of love. The love of family.

  ~~~

  As we are rounding out the night and beginning to say our goodbyes, Rosalie tells everyone to halt. “Wait! We almost forgot! The gift!”

  Everyone exalts and gathers around Jeremy and me. Rosalie fishes an envelope out of her bag and hands it to Jeremy. “Another envelope?” he asks, eyeing her skeptically.

  “It’s good,” she says. “I promise. Open it.”

  Jeremy tears open the envelope and investigates the contents. I take a peek and then we both look at everyone around us. “No. You guys. This is too much. We can’t accept this.”

  “You can and you will,” Rosalie says sternly. “You haven’t been on a real vacation since you were married. Not even for an anniversary. It’s time.”

  In his hand, Jeremy held a travel package for a seven day, round trip, all inclusive vacation to Aruba—the same place we spent our honeymoon.

  “But when?” Jeremy asks.

  “One week from Friday, your flight leaves. Non-refundable,” Rosalie commands. “We all pitched in. All of us,” she says, looking over at Ronny and Nancy. They both present small smiles. “And, Jeremy,” Rosalie continues. “You and Marcus have some things to discuss about the business. He has a plan and you need to listen. You have next week to smooth out the details, and then you let him do what he suggests.” She shakes her finger at him. “But no business until after Friday.”

  I can tell Jeremy wants to asks questions, but he just nods.

  “And Livy, between myself, Maggie and Jenna, we will take very good care of Amelia. She will be in good hands and you have nothing to worry about while you are away.”

  And then I nod. “I know.”

  I look over at Nancy and Ronny, who are two steps behind everyone else. I walk over to them. I look at Nancy. “Thank you. For coming up with this idea. We have a lot to discuss, in time. If you give me your number, I will call you when I’m ready. I promise. Same to you, Ronny. I know you’ve done nothing wrong in this scenario, but it’s still too new. I need to process all of this. But when I’m ready, I will call you both.”

  “That is all I can ask for,” Nancy responds.

  “I am looking forward to getting to know you,” Ronny says.

  ~~~

  When we are home, and I have Amelia settled in her bed, I look down at her and realize how much I’ve missed her. Rosalie agreed to let her spend the night at home because I missed her so much. She goes back to Rosalie’s tomorrow, so that Jeremy and I can finish out our week together. I’ll still miss Amelia, but I am looking forward to more time alone with Jeremy.

  I also realize that despite all of the craziness that has happened in the past few weeks, I feel secure in knowing that I have people in my life that are willing to drop everything they are doing and step up to the plate to help me when I need it most. The weight that was bearing down on my shoulders and suffocating the life out of me, when I felt like I was alon
e and trapped and had nowhere to turn, has disappeared. I have a new outlook on my life, once again, and instead of being fearful and anxious about mine and Jeremy’s future, I am hopeful and excited.

  ***

  56

  Jeremy

  Three weeks later

  “I’ll get the door,” I say to Livy, as she finishes getting Amelia dressed. We’re having guests for dinner.

  Our trip to Aruba was exactly what we needed to reflect on everything the trunk, a.k.a our family, taught us. We spent the days paying attention to no one but each other. We recollected about our dating years and when we came to Aruba the first time. We also talked a lot about the future and what we wanted to do with it. We made decisions about that together. It was eye-opening because I had been so consumed with working and stabilizing the business for our future that I had never considered what Livy wanted out of that future. We talked about how we should invest our money and whether we’d buy a house. Livy even talked about going back to work. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to go back to the shelter, or if she wanted to do some type of consulting. After helping me fix my accounting error at work, she thought she might be able to find a niche in that somehow. Nothing on that front was solidified, but I did tell her that I would support her in whatever she wanted to do.

  Marcus and I did have a discussion. He made an offer to be my vice-president. He said that having the week to run things on his own, with the exception of the billing incident, he was confident that he could take on the majority of the workload that I had been dragging around for so long. His argument was strong as he pointed out that he didn’t have a family that he would be missing out on and he was ready to get his hands dirty in work. He had no issues pulling the long hours that I had been doing. I took into consideration that he did do a lot of leg work with getting the business in Chicago and I trusted him more than I trusted anyone else that worked there—even some guys that had worked for me longer than he had. Marcus was a good man that just had a few years of hard luck due to tragedy and heartbreak.