by Kayla Morgan
“Why does my brain suck?” she moaned.
She checked back once again, but Starbucks was finally out of her line of vision. Sighing loudly, she trudged forward and mindlessly hoped for the best.
“Once again my smart phone abandons me,” she grumbled with irritation. Even if it was technically Hanami’s fault for dragging her out of the house so fast, but it was much easier to blame an inanimate object than a girl who had just been so kind to her.
Emily’s hamster-wheel kept on spinning. She knew that she wasn’t going to be able to just convince herself to chin up and be happy again. She needed to do something about this problem. Fix it somehow.
The night continued to drag on and, as far as she knew, she was no closer to her destination. Tired of trying to guess on her own, Emily walked into the next shop she passed – Madame’s Cosplay Emporium.
A tinkle of a bell chimed and a far-off greeting of Irasshaimase came from the back of the shop, but she didn’t notice any of it. All Emily could do was stare in amazement. The shop was crammed with the costumes of all the different anime and manga characters that she had been obsessed with over the years. There were even ones she had never heard of before. Wigs of every length and color lined the top of the displays to coordinate with each costume. Without even realizing it, she found herself striding towards the beautifully colored pieces and began examining each one up close. She had attended the Chicago anime convention multiple times over the years, but her cosplays were nothing compared to this.
“Gomen’nasai!” the woman working the shop apologized as she came up behind Emily. “I had just received a new shipment when you walked in. Is there anything I can do to help you?”
Emily turned around slowly. Her mind was still thinking about how much she wished a shop like this existed in Chicago, but she shook herself out of her mental daze.
“Yes. I’m sorry to bother you but I can’t seem to find my way back to my inn. Could you please give me some directions?”
The woman gave her a broad smile and agreed to help. She went back behind the cash register, pulled out a map, and began circling the route that Emily needed to get back to the Yume Inn.
Emily thanked her with a short bow and stepped back out on the crowded street, headed in the right direction this time.
Once again, her mind went back to the problem she was having. Being in the cosplay shop had given her an idea, but surely it was a ridiculous plan. The kind they admit people to the insane ward for.
But it could work….
As Emily continued to wander down the street, she kept glancing at her reflection. Her height and weight weren’t that different from the Japanese women surrounding her. Plus, she had dark brown eyes, which certainly helped things too.
“Come on, Emily,” she mumbled to herself, “don’t be stupid. Just because your favorite manga involve hidden identities, doesn’t mean you have to follow down that path.”
But the idea wouldn’t stop brewing.
By the time Emily focused back on reality, she found herself in the middle of lost and somewhere.
“Kami-sama above!” she cursed. “I have got to stop spacing out!”
Her wanderings had led her to a small backstreet. It was the complete opposite of the crowded street she had left; there wasn’t a soul around. Just the back doors to various buildings and a few knocked-over garbage cans. She’d blown it this time. This was it. Her lack of concentration was finally going to get her into serious trouble. This was the kind of stuff her grandmother had warned her about— ending up alone in sketchy places. Japan was typically a safe place, but this felt more like the back alleys of Chicago. Where muggers were real. Human trafficking was real. She had to get out of here.
Her heart pounded so loudly that she couldn’t even think. She sprinted towards what looked like a way back to the main road, but her stomach dropped when she realized it was a dead end. She started to head back the way she came when one of the back alley doors began to open. Her panic rose to a level she had never experienced before. With cat-like reflexes that she didn’t even know she possessed, Emily grabbed the nearest weapons she could find – a garbage can lid and a broken beer bottle.
She held the garbage can lid up like a shield and swung the broken bottle in front of her like a crazed urban gladiator. The door opened the rest of the way and a man stepped out in front of her.
“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” she screeched in English. Her extreme fear having switched her back to her native language.
The man’s figure catapulted backwards in alarm, and he landed in a pile of garbage bags.
“What is going on?” The man cried from the rubbage as he attempted to pull himself from the rubbage. As his face finally came into view, Emily recognized him and her stomach dropped.
“Clarissa-san?” Akio asked in surprise, pulling himself up off the ground. “What’s going on? Why are you back here?” He looked her up and down and continued, “And why are you armed like a Roman soldier?”
Emily’s heart slowly crept to a normal pace, but as it did the redness across her face began to grow instead. Akio was dripping with garbage, and it was entirely her fault.
“Akio-kun!” she gasped, once again returning to Japanese. “I’m so sorry. So so sorry! I…I just got lost and somehow ended up back here. Wh-where are we anyway?”
“You’re behind the inn. I was just taking out the trash. Although I didn’t expect to become part of the trash!” Akio joked. But Emily couldn’t laugh with him. Instead, her embarrassment spread as she dropped the bottle in her hand and tried to hide her face. A lump in her throat had begun to form and she could already feel the prickle of tears forming in her eyes. Oh no. No way. She did not want him to see her like this. It was bad enough she had scared him to the point where she had probably taken a few years off his life. Now she was going to start bawling in front of him too? Absolutely not. Johnsons do not cry in public.
Emily suddenly felt two strong warm hands wrapping around her own, removing the garbage lid from the death grip she still had on it. Then they reached out and removed the hand that was hiding her face. Emily looked up into Akio’s handsome features. His upswept hair had been crushed on one side from his fall and he had tiny pieces of ramen stuck to it. But he apparently didn’t notice any of that. Instead those beautiful brown eyes shone with deep concern for her.
“Clarissa-san. What’s wrong?” Akio whispered.
It was all too much. Emily burst into tears.
Why? Why was she doing this? She was 20 years old! Wasn’t she supposed to be an adult? She had come all the way across the world to be independent and pursue her dream, not cry in some back alleyway because she was scared and failing already at her new life!
Damn it! Get it together, Johnson! she lectured herself. But she couldn’t convince herself to stop.
The two warm hands that had been holding her own wound around her and pulled her in. Her arms were pinned to Akio’s soft chest and his head rested on top of hers. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that this wasn’t the safest situation. She barely knew this guy. And they were in a dark, basically-abandoned alley, to top it all off. She should have been scared. She should have pushed him away.
But she didn’t. Because despite knowing very little about him, this was the safest Emily had ever felt. His warm body enveloping hers in a picture-perfect circle. The way his shirt, underneath the recently-obtained garbage smell, smelled like a brilliant combination of jasmine tea and fresh sheets.
I’ll step back once I’ve stopped crying. I can’t just push off right away. She took another deep breath in, technically to help her stop crying but mostly because she loved the smell. I mean, otherwise I’d just be inconsiderate! Right? Right.
True to her word, once she had finally gotten a hold of herself, Emily took a step back and detached herself from Akio, even though her body cried with remorse. Unfortunately, the embarrassment of the whole situation hit her once again now that she wasn’t wrapped up and h
igh off his scent anymore.
Her hands went back to covering her face. No way could she look at him now.
“Listen, Akio-kun. I didn’t mean to, um, let loose on you like that. I also didn’t mean to scare you so badly that you almost broke your back. This is all my fault. Gomen’nasai.”
“No harm done. Besides, I’m used to it.”
Emily gave him a strange look. “You’re used to being almost paralyzed when you go to take out the trash?”
Akio laughed and replied, “No, no! I just meant I’m used to crying girls.”
Her stomach twisted. Was this a twinge of jealousy she was feeling? No way. She barely knew the guy! That would be completely insane.
Which actually fit her perfectly.
He must have realized how his sentence sounded, because he quickly tried to explain himself. “I mean, not because I’ve been with lots of girls or anything. Nothing like that! I just have a younger sister, that’s all.”
Of course. Hanami-chan! She should’ve known that’s what he meant. She felt silly for being so caught off-guard by the statement, but that feeling melted away when she looked up and found that Akio was now the one with a red face. He almost had a pleading look on his face, as if he cared what she thought about him.
She tried not to let that thought affect her. After all, once today was over, she would never see him again. They were going to a huge university. Plus, if she really went with the plan that had been forming in her head, before she ended up in this situation, then Akio knew too much about her. It would just be easier if she stayed away from him. She snuck a peek at his handsome face again. Which is really a damn shame, she thought.
An awkward pause grew between them; neither one sure of what they should do next. Finally, Akio broke the silence.
He cleared his throat. “So Clarissa-san,” he started, still not looking up at her, “I just finished making some tea. If you want, I can pour you a cup. Maybe we could talk? We’ve never really gotten a chance to get to know each other.” His dark brown eyes finally peeked up and caught hers.
Emily’s heart began to pick up speed again. This is a terrible idea. You shouldn’t do this. Absolutely not. Nope.
But he wanted to talk to her. This adorable Japanese man wanted to talk to her – the psycho American girl who just cried all over his shoulder and tried to kill him like an insane person. So not only was Akio handsome, but he was also a decent person. Which just did not seem fair since she would have to start avoiding him soon to focus on her career.
She had stalled too long. Akio looked back down again and started to shuffle away. “I understand. You don’t want to. I mean you’re headed off to college tomorrow. I’m sure you’re busy. I’ll just head back inside.”
“No!” she shouted and grabbed his arm before he could slink inside.
He turned to face her with a startled expression at her outburst.
“I-I’d love to come talk with you. Jasmine tea is actually my favorite.”
Akio cocked an eyebrow. “How did you know it was jasmine?” he asked.
Emily’s face burned. He’d caught her. And if she didn’t come up with an excellent excuse right now, she’d have to spend the rest of this conversation with “stalker” stamped across her forehead, as if this wasn’t all awkward enough.
She stuttered, “Um…uh…I smelled it from inside? I have a nose like a dog!” She cackled nervously while internally cringing.
Kami-sama above. She had made it even worse.
“Oh…okay,” he replied, obviously unsure of how to respond to such a ridiculous statement.
Then they both noticed. Emily’s hand was still holding his arm. Their eyes slowly panned up and locked for only a moment before Emily snatched her hand away as if it had been burned. Akio looked away as well and then opened the back door wider so that she could walk inside first. Emily quickly shuffled past him.
Once inside, Akio showed her through the back kitchen and up a staircase she had never noticed before. The stairs led to a small apartment. She had never thought much about it, but this must be where Mrs. Kenzou and her family lived. She looked around at the home. It was sparsely decorated with run-down furniture and kitchen equipment that looked like it had seen better days. The main living area branched out into three small bedrooms and a bathroom. She thought back on her own house in Illinois with its top-of-the-line everything that was decorated exquisitely to impress her parents’ fancy guests whenever they came over. As much as she hated the stuffiness of her old home, she wished she could give some of their things to Mrs. Kenzou. She felt guilty about her old life. Mrs. Kenzou, with all her sweetness and hospitality, deserved it so much more.
As Akio went to pour them cups of tea, she gazed again at the three bedrooms. It surprised her there were only three. Were Akio’s parents around at all? She felt guilty. She had been so wrapped up in her own problem since she had been here that she had never stopped to consider the life of the family who was taking care of her at all.
“Um, Akio-kun-” she began and then shifted her initial thought, “Is it okay that I call you Akio-kun? Or would you rather I call you by your last name? I know Akio-kun isn’t very formal. I was only calling you that because that’s what your grandmother called you. Does it bother you at all?”
She felt dumb the minute she had finished her rambling, but this was something that had been bugging her all week. It was customary in Japanese culture to call people by their last name with the honorific -san attached to show respect, especially if they are higher up than you or if you don’t know them well. Emily had talked to Akio so little that she hadn’t bothered asking until now. But if they were going to have a whole conversation, she figured she had to ask.
Akio chuckled as he walked over with the teas. “No, it doesn’t bother me at all. Our grandmothers have been lifelong friends, so I feel as if I already know you a little. However, I’m going to continue to call you Clarissa-san since you are our guest, if you don’t mind,” he replied with a half-smile.
Her heart flip-flopped violently. She had always had a thing for adorable half-smiles. That plus his disheveled upswept hair, even with the tiny bits of ramen still attached, were enough to make her wish she could see him again when they went off to school. Yeah, because I’m sure you could definitely make a comeback after all the idiotic things you’ve said today, “Dog Nose”.
Her resolve came back. It was good that she was leaving.
“Okay then, Akio-kun. So if you don’t mind me asking, who all lives up here? Just you and your grandmother?”
“And Hanami-chan. My parents died when I was nine. Obaa-chan has been raising us here at the Yume Inn ever since.”
Her face fell into a look of pity. “Oh, I’m so sorry Akio-kun. I had no idea.” She couldn’t believe she had started off their first conversation with such a painful memory.
But Akio just smiled the wonderful half-smile again, except this time with a little more sorrow attached to it. “It’s okay. Really, it is. Obaa-chan has done a wonderful job taking care of us. And Hanami-chan and I have loved growing up at the inn. We’ve been able to meet all kinds of interesting people. I think it’s one of the reasons she is so interested in traveling.”
Emily smiled and replied, “You know I met her tonight.”
“Who? Hanami-chan? I didn’t realize she was back in town already.”
“Yes, she bombarded me after dinner and dragged me out for coffee and kept asking all about America. She seems very determined to be out there one day.”
Akio laughed. “Oh yes! I have no doubt she’ll succeed too. She’s one of the most determined girls I’ve ever met. Nothing gets in the way of what she wants,” he laughed again and continued. “Trust me, as her onee-chan, I know.”
She laughed along with him and felt her insides become light. She was surprised that she was talking so easily with Akio. Usually she was super awkward when she met new people. But it felt different with him.
“You know, Clarissa-sa
n, she’s really not that different from you,” he continued.
Emily tilted her head. “How so?”
“I just mean that you must have a very determined personality as well. I really admire you coming all the way over here to pursue your business career. I haven’t been outside of Tokyo in years.”
“Yeah, well,” she sighed deeply, “unfortunately, I think that there is something standing in the way of my...new career.”
He sat down his cup and stared at her intently. “Really?” he asked. The concern shining from his face surprised her. How could he care so much about a person he had just met?
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Well, whatever it is, you’ve got to move it out of the way. You can’t let coming all the way over here be for nothing.”
His concerned gaze continued to bore into her. The idea that had been developing in the back of her mind popped up again. It was still crazy, but there was a possibility that it might work. She had already come halfway across the world to chase her dream, so why should she let her nationality stand in her way?
She broke out into a grin. “Thanks, Akio-kun. I needed to hear that.”
The idea solidified, and she felt her body fill to the brim with determined resolve.
She was going to do it. And she was going to do it tonight.
chapter three
Emily stood staring at her reflection for what felt like the thousandth time. Last night had been a complete whirlwind. She had exited her conversation with Akio, as politely as she could, before dashing back to the cosplay shop where she had asked for directions earlier that evening. The owner had been extremely helpful in finding her a new look. She tried on dozens of wigs before she found one that suited her – long black wavy hair with bangs. It was a look she had always wanted for her own hair, but her natural hair was way too thin. Then it was off to one of the cute Japanese clothing stores to find herself some new outfits. Her American clothes weren’t too bad, but they just didn’t have the right feel to them. Japanese fashion was much more delicate and purposeful than what she had worn back in the states. She still tried to stick with an artsy look, just a little more “fashionable”.