Jules and Bulls

by Chandler Ardnas

  The family box was silent until Tennyson’s next go-round. He climbed up on the fence and I noticed he had on his hat, not his helmet. “Doesn’t he have to wear the helmet?” I asked Cherry.

  “No, it limits his view and messes up his center of gravity. I’m sure he is so pissed he is refusing to wear it.”

  “Can’t he get hurt?” I asked with a shaky voice.

  “Yes, but if the score is high enough, he won’t care.”

  “That’s insane,” I said, more to myself and she laughed and looked at me.

  “Tennyson’s insane,” she said boldly.

  A series of events happened that left me confused. Morgan stood and raised both hands and tapped his wrists together. Royal moved from his spot on the far side of the wooden barrels, running toward the gate. The entire family jumped to their feet and Merritt screamed, “Tennyson, NO!”

  The bull shot out of the gate spinning in a tight circle as Royal continued to run right at it. Tennyson was leaning back, almost lying on the bull with his free arm extended and his other hand tucked tightly against his body between his legs. His feet were molded into the bull with his flat edged spurs implanted against the tough hide of the animal.

  The bull suddenly turned in the other direction and Tennyson’s arm bent oddly at the wrist and he quickly adjusted to the momentum going the other way. The crowd was screaming in approval and he looked like a post card, the ride was perfection.

  When the buzzer sounded, and the crowd cheered I waited anxiously for him to jump off the kicking animal, but he only sat up fully and began pulling on his gloved hand. Royal ran up to the side of the raging beast and began pulling on the rope wrapped around Tennyson’s wrist. The bull tossed Royal like a rag doll into the air as Tennyson continued to struggle, falling sideways.

  “Why isn’t he getting off?” I asked in panic.

  “He’s hung up; his hand is stuck,” Cherry said with concern.

  I covered my hand over my mouth and watched Tennyson hold on as his torso continued sliding to the side. Royal made his way back to the bull and crashed into Tennyson with his body before freeing his trapped hand.

  Tennyson fell to the ground and didn’t move as the bull continued spinning right next to him. Royal was screaming and waving his hands to keep the bulls attention away from his wounded brother. As soon as the bull headed down the alley, men descended on Tennyson’s still body. Merritt jumped from the box into the arena and ran for his boy.

  I was hyperventilating as I held on tightly to the railing in front of me. My mind was replaying the whole ride in slow motion, telling me I had just witnessed the man I was falling in love with die.

  My legs gave out from relief when Tennyson began to stir. He eventually stood and waved his hat at the crowd. I began to cry and couldn’t force myself to stop. My entire body was shaking from the scare and when Miriam came to hug me I grabbed onto her and sobbed loudly.

  The crowd went crazy and I looked up to see a 92 on the scoreboard. The family began screaming and jumping for joy as I only stared in disbelief. Miriam took my hand and led me down the stairs and to the back of the arena. I saw Tennyson sitting on the back of an ambulance as men worked on his bleeding eyebrow. His eye was already swollen almost shut and he pushed the paramedic away when he saw me. I ran to him and fell into his arms.

  “I’m fine,” he said into my ear.

  “Shut up,” I cried, not wanting to hear what I had just witnessed was normal.

  “Jules, look at me,” he said, but I held on tighter, refusing to let him move away from me. “The bull didn’t hurt me, Royal elbowed me and knocked me out.”

  Bethany walked up at that point and yelled, “You selfish son-of-a-bitch. I don’t give a damn if you get yourself killed, but you get Royal killed and I will never forgive you.”

  “I had it,” Tennyson said loudly.

  “No, you didn’t, you were sliding. You purposely wrapped, and you know it.”

  “What does she mean?” I asked him, totally confused.

  He started to explain but she interrupted him. “He needed a good ride, so he wrapped the bull rope around his wrist so he would be tied to the animal. It’s cheating.”

  I looked at Tennyson and he rolled his eyes. “I tightened the rope, it isn’t cheating.”

  The paramedic pulled Tennyson back to the ambulance and placed a butterfly stitch on the cut, before handing him an ice pack. I smiled at his beautiful face and he smiled back with pure joy. His smile suddenly faded, and he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind his body.

  I looked past him to see Royal headed in our direction. His face was furious, and I tried to place myself between them, but Tennyson pushed me out of the way. I looked at Merritt thinking he would intervene, but he stayed where he was and only watched. Royal swung and hit Tennyson square in the jaw snapping his head to the side.

  “You only get one,” Tennyson said, and spit blood into the dirt.

  Royal grabbed him by the padded vest and pushed him into the railing. He put his face right up to Tennyson’s and spoke through clenched teeth. “You wrap again, and you’re done, you hear me?”

  “I had it,” Tennyson said, through his own anger.

  “Bullshit,” Royal said softly, and pushed Tennyson as he let go of him. He turned to walk off and yelled over his shoulder, “You won.”

  I had an overwhelming need to get out of there. I was on emotional overload and didn’t want to witness one more disturbing thing. I didn’t understand this life; a family so closely knit who hits each other and threatens one another.

  I began backing up and my limbs felt like jelly. I could feel the blood draining from my face and a loud whooshing sound was filling my ears. The last thing I remembered was Tennyson’s one good eye growing wide as he ran toward me.

  Chapter 6

  I opened my eyes to find Morgan staring down at me. I looked around and recognized Tennyson’s trailer, but he wasn’t there. “I need to leave,” I said, and tried to sit up.

  "Here, drink this first," Morgan instructed, handing me a cup. I sipped the liquid, and it tasted like sugar water, so I handed it back to him. "Do you want to talk about it?" Morgan asked.

  I wanted to tell him there was no way in hell I was going to use a veterinarian as a shrink, but my head was so confused, and I needed to share with someone. “I don’t understand any of this. I thought my life was crazy, but this is…insane.”

  “It isn’t just a sport, it’s a way of life,” he tried to explain. “We are around animals all the time. We learn how to read them and how to anticipate certain behaviors. Royal and Tennyson don’t fight because they’re cowboys; they fight because they’re brothers.”

  “They fought at the dance, too. This is such a violent culture and what is with the whole ‘nuts and guts’ thing?”

  "Some guys play football, or box, or race cars. Cowboys ride bulls and broncs, and it takes a lot of guts and testosterone," he chuckled.

  "I'm surrounded by guys who are artistic and dance. They feel secure enough to express emotions and openly cry." I saw Morgan give me a disapproving look and he was trying hard to keep something from spilling from his mouth. "And yes, they are gay," I barked.

  "Oh man, this is going to be ugly," he mumbled and stood to help me up.

  “What is?” I demanded to know.

  “This whole relationship. I doubt Jules and bulls go together.”

  "You're right," I said and pulled the belt off my jeans. "Where's Tennyson?"

  “He’s at the closing ceremony.”

  "Tell him I don't need a ride to Denver after all," I said and headed for the door.

  Morgan grabbed me by the arm, and I quickly pulled away. "Jules, he deserves to hear it from you," Morgan pointed out.

  I saw his concerned eyes and had to admit I was afraid to face Tennyson. I would lose my nerve if I looked at his face. "I don't have the nuts or the guts," I said softly, and Morgan nodded as if he understood.

  At that moment, Tennyson
opened the door and entered the room hesitantly. I looked at the ground, and Morgan excused himself. I finally found the nerve to say, "I'm leaving. I don't need a ride to Denver."

  I tried to push past him, but he reached out to block my path. "You have to explain this to me, Jules."

  “There’s nothing to explain. You were a fun distraction; I’ve got to get back to work now.”

  “Distraction?”

  I made the mistake of looking directly at him. My heart tightened as I stared at his swollen face. "Look, you're a hot guy, and I enjoyed your company. Maybe I'll see you again someday."

  “You can do better than that,” he said angrily.

  "Be real, Tennyson. The next city will bring the next girl; I understand that."

  He stared in shock and shook his head back and forth. “What did I do?” he asked softly.

  “I have some things to work out for the tour, I’m busy,” I said harshly.

  He took a step, so he was now standing directly in front of me. I turned my head and tried to concentrate on anything but the man blocking the door. "I have a tough time accepting the fact you don't feel what I feel. I will let you walk out that door and never look back after you kiss me."

  There was no way I could kiss him and then walk away. He knew it and was calling my bluff. I felt the tears fall from my cheeks before I even realized I was crying. He moved slowly toward me, and I put my hand up to keep him back, but he took hold of my wrist and pulled me close. My hands were resting on his chest, and I had intended on pushing him away, but I could feel his heart pounding underneath my palm. I leaned in and kissed his heart, and he inhaled deeply. His finger moved under my chin and lifted my face to look at his. "May I kiss you?" he whispered.

  I didn't answer; I only closed my eyes and held still. He moved slowly and placed his mouth on mine and kept it there. My hands moved up his chest around his neck and into his hair, knocking his hat to the ground. He pulled me tightly against his body and bent his knees to fold his frame entirely around mine. His gentle kiss escalated, and his lips moved against mine with determination. I added more force and bit his bottom lip before sucking on it and pulling back a bit. He hissed, and I suddenly remember his injuries. I let go and began apologizing. "Did I hurt you?" I asked sadly.

  He nodded and said, “You almost broke my heart.”

  He said and did all the right things, and I couldn't deny my feelings any longer, so I decided to be honest. "I am so scared, Tennyson."

  He shook his head and looked into my eyes pleadingly, “Don’t run from me.”

  I could feel my resolve began to wane and I wanted to promise him anything. I had no idea how I could ever fit into his world, a world I didn’t want to understand. “This is never going to work,” I told him honestly.

  “We’ll never know unless we try.”

  “I can’t watch you ride again.”

  "Okay, you don't need to watch. Just be there when I'm done riding."

  "What if I'm falling in love with you?" I whispered. I was stunned by the admission, but I couldn't force myself to stop talking from my heart.

  “What if I’m falling in love with you?” He whispered back to me.

  I decided right at that moment to give us a shot. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was willing to do whatever I needed to keep this man in my life. I would take a leap of faith and give it a try. I wasn’t that vulnerable yet, I was still on tour and letting him take me to Denver was not like bringing him to my home. “Tell me what to do,” I conceded.

  “Let’s go grab your stuff and get out of here,” he said.

  We took a cab back to my hotel and when we returned to the arena the entire place was going crazy with activity. Horses were being loaded, and corrals were being broken down. Trailer after trailer filed out of the lot, heading in all different directions.

  Miriam came over to where I was sitting in Tennyson's truck. She climbed onto the step and took my hand. "I'm sorry dear; we don't see the Rodeo through fresh eyes. It gets easier; I promise." I smiled and nodded. She patted my cheek and said, "Merritt and I won't be in Denver. I hope you'll visit our home someday. We would love to have you."

  “Do you think I’m bad for Tennyson?” I asked her, knowing she would most likely lie to me.

  “Sweetheart, I think you are the best thing that has ever happened to him.”

  Her answer was so unexpected that I threw my arms around her and hugged tightly. “Thank you,” I said with emotion.

  Tennyson walked up and kissed his mother goodbye, promising to be careful in Denver and got in the driver seat. He looked at me and smiled, "Are you going to sit that far from me?" I scooted up to his side and put my head on his shoulder after putting on the seatbelt. "Much better," he said and started the engine.

  We drove off into the darkness and the rumbling of the truck lulled me to sleep. I dreamed of Tennyson riding a bull. His muscles flexed, and his body moved as one with the animal. His hips moved back and forth as his legs gripped the leather hide. His hand was high in the air, and he turned to look at me as he thrust back and forth. I reached for his nude body, and the bull threw him into the air causing me to jump and gasp as I woke up with a start.

  “Did you have a dream?” Tennyson asked.

  I rubbed my eyes and stared at the dark highway. “Where are we?”

  “Montana.”

  I nestled back into Tennyson's side, and I ran my hand over his chest. It wasn't enough, so I moved onto my knees and put my arms around his shoulders as I kissed his neck. He moaned and put his arm around me, exposing his chest, so I unbuttoned his shirt and began kissing his skin. I came back to his neck and whispered in his ear, "Pull over." He wrapped his hand in my hair and pulled my head back, so he could look at me. I was breathing heavily and spoke as I stared into his eyes, "I want you, right now, pull over."

  He reached over and picked up his CB radio, “I need to pull off for a minute, just keep going.”

  He pulled his truck off the side of the highway and shut off the engine. I was wearing a short skirt, so I pulled off my underwear and climbed into his lap. He ran his hands up my sides and then pulled my hips forward against his chest. I saw him glance in the mirror before saying, "Just a second." He grabbed a shirt off his back seat and placed it against the window just as a vehicle went by slowly and shined a spotlight on his truck.

  Amylia’s voice came over the radio and screamed, “Ride em, cowboy.”

  He stared at my eyes with pure lust as he pulled me against him. I removed his hat, and he kissed my chest as I leaned into him. He let his hand drop to the side of the seat and moved it as far back as it would go and then lowered the back. I reached down and unhooked his belt and jeans and pushed them down his legs. I leaned against the steering wheel and held on as I braced myself against him.

  He yelled out as I made contact, making us one. His head rose, and he stared at the point we connected with fascination. I moved frantically, grunting from exertion and he threw his hands over his head holding onto the headrest as he yelled loudly, "God, Jules." His feet pushed off the ground, and he raised his hips off the seat as I continued the wild pace.

  My head fell back, and I screamed his name as his hands ran up my shirt to my breast. My entire body convulsed onto him just as he arched completely off the seat and yelled out loudly. I fell onto his chest, gasping for air as his torso heaved up and down rapidly. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head again and again.

  “Jules, I love you,” he said in the total darkness.

  I moved to his lips and kissed him very softly. "I love you, Tennyson," I said against his mouth. The words fell naturally; he was so easy to love, and I felt like the tabloids and pretend images were far from where we existed together. I could be myself without worry about how it looked or what spin was needed.

  We finally pulled into a camping area where all the trailers and horses were waiting. I was amazed at how many people it took to run the family business. Tennyson and I headed right
to his trailer without talking to anyone. We took a quick shower, and when I was done drying my hair, Tennyson was passed out cold on the bed. I climbed in behind him and snuggled up to his back. He moaned, and I kissed his flesh and fell asleep.

  The next morning, I heard a soft knock on the door. Tennyson threw the covers over my bare legs and panties and said, “Yeah, come in.”

  I remained still so I could listen to them talk.

  “Get dressed and come to my trailer, we need to talk,” Royal said.

  “Is something wrong?” Tennyson asked.

  I didn’t hear Royal respond, but he must have nodded because Tennyson jumped up and grabbed his jeans before leaving the trailer. I sat up and stretched, wondering if they were beating each other up or working with the horses.

  I glanced at my phone on the bedside table and saw the light blinking. I realized I never turned the sound back on and grabbed it. I had nine messages from Martin; I knew he was pissed at me. I hit call and leaned back against the headboard.

  “What the hell, Jules,” Martin screamed into the phone.

  “I didn’t realize my phone was on mute,” I said in irritation to his drama.

  “You’re with Weller?” he asked with a livid tone.

  “What?” I had no idea how he could know that information.

  “It’s all over the internet. I’ve had people calling all morning wanting a comment.”

  “It can’t be, Martin; nobody saw us.”

  “Dammit, Jules. How can you be so stupid? His scorned lover got plenty of pictures and some video, too.”

  “Who?” I asked with a dry mouth and shaking hands.

  “I’ll send you the link, how are we going to fix this?”

  “I met him two days ago,” I said softly.

  "You damn well better not show up with him in Denver. Go to a hotel, and I'll arrange a flight. We made a deal with Barton Kirk's people that you two would be seen together before Chicago starts to generate buzz. Don't blow this, Jules."

  "Send me the link," I retorted and hung up on him. My phone beeped just a few moments later, and I opened the link. I stared at pictures of Tennyson holding my face and then kissing me before his bull ride. The next images were from a video of Tennyson leaning against some counter on his elbows and holding a beer. His head was back with his eyes closed and a woman was on her knees performing a very intimate act on him. The last pictures were of me crying in Miriam's arms.