Jules and Bulls

by Chandler Ardnas

  “Don’t believe a word of it, he can be such a bitch,” I laughed.

  Eric pulled Vince into my room and sat on my bed as he put his arms around Vince’s waist and continued talking to me. “How was Thanksgiving?”

  “Pretzels from a machine, how was yours?”

  "Great, very vegan-friendly."

  Tennyson walked into the room and froze when he saw Vince and Eric. “Where were you?” I asked him.

  “On the deck, I had a call,” he said, staring at the men on my bed and then turned to see me in my underwear. “Jesus, Jules, get dressed.”

  “Don’t worry, Tennyson,” Eric laughed, “We only want to know where she bought them, not how to get into them.”

  “Vince, this is my fiancé, Tennyson.”

  "You're what?" Eric asked in stunned surprise.

  Vince wasn't sure if he should hold out his hand or ignore Tennyson. I noticed how Tennyson ignored Vince and it angered me. I held out my hand to show Eric my ring as I looked at Tennyson's face. "Isn't it nice of Eric to bring Vince over to meet us?"

  “I thought we were in a hurry,” Tennyson said.

  “Eric brought Vince over to meet us,” I said through clenched teeth, “Isn’t that nice?”

  "Um… yeah, nice, Eric," Tennyson said awkwardly. "We're burying Georgia tomorrow morning; we need to hurry."

  I looked at Eric and said, “Tennyson’s sister’s horse died.”

  He smiled like I was making a joke and then looked back and forth between us, letting his smile fade. “You eat meat but have a burial for a horse?” he asked in confusion.

  “She loved her horse very much, Eric,” I explained.

  "Well, I love Vince enough to eat his meat," Eric laughed and wiggled his eyebrows at Vince. Tennyson turned and walked from the room without a word.

  “Don’t do that,” I yelled at Eric. “You know he has trouble with this.”

  “That is what makes it so fun, I may just lay a juicy kiss on him,” Eric said, and Vince glared at him.

  I could imagine the entire scene and terrified Eric would try it just to see if Tennyson would react. He didn't understand in Tennyson's world you were guaranteed a reaction, and it would most likely be with his fists. “He will beat the shit out of you, look at my face,” I said.

  “You had a car accident, I heard it on the radio,” Eric said to dismiss me.

  I didn't bother telling him anything different. It was better only to have one story floating around out there.

  Eric stood and took hold of Vince's hand. "You'll be here for the Flame Awards, won't you?" he asked, expecting me to agree instantly.

  “No, I’ll be in Vegas,” I said, without looking at him.

  “Jules,” he said, and waited for me to look at him. “You’ll be here, right?”

  “I never planned on attending,” I said, and he glanced at the doorway telling me he knew Tennyson was responsible. He pulled Vince down the hallway heading for the front door. I ran after him, begging him to listen for a moment.

  “You know this means a lot to me,” he yelled.

  “It is the national finals for Tennyson and ….”

  "Yeah, go with Tennyson, he's more important," Eric said and opened the car door for Vince.

  I couldn’t leave the foyer since I was still in just my underwear and there were paparazzi outside. “Eric,” I yelled, “Vince will be with you.”

  He gave me a sad look that almost broke my heart and said softly, “His handlers won’t let him come. We can’t have a gay man showing up to dancing award’s show with another man, what would all the cowboys think?”

  “Eric, I’m sorry, but this is big. I can’t come.”

  He looked behind me to see Tennyson walk up and place his hand on my waist. "Yeah, I know. You have to pick and choose which events you don't belong at."

  He got in his car and drove away as I stood in my foyer crying. Tennyson was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, and I returned to my room to continue packing. He loaded cases into my car and brought me some granola to speed me along.

  We finally got in the car for the long drive to Blue Lake when Tennyson turned and said, “Vince is, um… kind of, pretty.”

  I knew how much effort it took for Tennyson to be complimentary of Vince and I smiled and bit my lip, keeping the remark I wanted to say to myself. Tennyson was trying, and that meant a lot.

  Chapter 18

  We got to the ranch just in time for dinner. I made a plate of spaghetti and left the meatballs off, so Tennyson ate mine. Miriam filled us in on the burial plans for Georgia and Tennyson informed me his truck, trailer, and the horse would be home the following day.

  Bethany and Royal had arrived home earlier in the week. Merritt told Tennyson he was supposed to call Royal the moment he got back. Tennyson rolled his eyes and continued eating. We were finishing our baked apples when Royal walked through the door.

  “When did you get home?” Royal yelled.

  “Two days ago,” Tennyson said with a serious tone, causing me to giggle.

  “Did you stop in Indianapolis?” Royal asked, and Tennyson quickly stood and nodded for his brother to follow him to the arena. I sighed loudly and shook my head.

  I noticed Miriam watching me, so I smiled and said, "Tennyson and I are thinking about Valentine's Day for our wedding."

  “That would be wonderful. Where do you plan to hold the ceremony?”

  I shrugged, “Is there a place where stupid women marry much too handsome men?”

  Miriam laughed and patted my hand. "You are not stupid, but I agree my son is handsome," she smiled.

  “Miriam, are you okay with what he is planning?” I asked her boldly.

  She took a moment to gather her thoughts and said, “Jules, the worst thing a man can imagine is dying doing something he hates. I never want my children to die, but that hope is ridiculous. I can only pray they find their passion in life and die without any regrets. If Tennyson doesn’t ride Diablo, he will be eaten away with regret.”

  “Can’t he ride him next year?”

  "No, Diablo will retire, and there is a lot of monetary motivation for him to retire un-ridden."

  "Do you believe he can do it?" I asked her and watched her eyes for any deceit.

  "I believe he will do everything he can to have a successful ride, and if he fails, I believe Royal will doing everything he can to keep him safe."

  “He told me he’s not allowing Morgan to come,” I told her, and watched her face react with concern.

  “Bullshit,” Morgan said from the doorway. “I’m going to be there whether he wants me there, or not.”

  I was terrified I betrayed Tennyson by letting Morgan know what he said and excused myself to go to our room. I unpacked some of my clothes and fell asleep without seeing Tennyson again the rest of the night.

  I woke up to the next morning to find him snoring next to me, lying on his stomach. It seemed like ages since we made love and I was determined to keep him in the bed no matter what it took. I climbed over to straddle his body and kissed my way up his back.

  “Russell Tarwater, is that you?” he said with a muffled voice.

  "Tennyson, a gay reference, I'm so proud of you," I teased. He turned over to show me how aroused he was, and I smiled widely. "I'm very, very proud of you."

  “What time is it?” he asked, and I shook my head back and forth.

  “You are not leaving this bed until you make me forget my name,” I said as a challenge.

  He looked over his head and smiled. “Let me show you why it is so vital to have a headboard, grab hold of it.”

  After half-an-hour, I watched as he put his hat on and winked before heading out the door. I was lying almost comatose on the bed, unable to move, let alone remember my name. I stared up at the ceiling with a stupid smile on my face and entirely in love with Tennyson Weller.

  I didn't attend the burial of Georgia. I didn't feel right intruding on Amylia's grief when I was so happy, and I was terrified of se
eing a dead horse. I expected Tennyson to come back to see me, but by nightfall, he hadn't returned. I felt ignored and a bit useless. When he finally showed up, I pretended I was asleep and ignored him when he climbed into bed.

  This went on for three days.

  One morning, I heard Tennyson sneak out of our room, and I began to cry. I knew he was focusing on finals, but I felt like he was taking me for granted. I walked away from everything for him, but he treated me like a possession he could set in a corner.

  I heard the door open again, and I turned my face away. Tennyson knelt on the floor against the bed and called out my name. I refused to answer. "Jules, are you mad?" he asked in surprise.

  I shook my head but didn’t speak.

  "Come on, Sweetheart, let me see your beautiful face." I turned over, and he was shocked to see me crying. "What's wrong?"

  "I miss you," I said softly. He looked confused, so I explained. "I don't see you all day. I know you're busy, but I have nothing to do."

  “I thought you were planning our wedding?”

  “I can’t do that alone; you have to be in on the decisions.”

  “I don’t care what you plan, as long as you are happy.”

  “So, we can get married at the Liberace museum with cross-dressing bridesmaids?

  "Sweetheart, of course, we…. can't."

  I laughed and held my arms out to him. He pulled me against his chest and whispered into my ear. "I have a surprise for you."

  "It better have carats, because if you are only here for sex, I'm going to hurt you."

  “Get dressed and come outside,” he said.

  “Wait,” I complained. “I mean, if you are here for sex, it would be okay.”

  “I have something for you outside. And, I promise you my undivided attention tomorrow,” he said pulling on my arm.

  “Great, the day my parents are here I get your undivided attention,” I said, as I began getting dressed.

  “Meet me out back, and hurry,” he said, as he ran from the room. I dressed quickly and pulled my hair into a ponytail before heading to the back deck. I was shocked to see the entire family waiting and looked at Tennyson with apprehension.

  "Jules, welcome to the family," he said and pointed over by the horse trough. A white horse was tied to the railing with a huge red bow on the saddle.

  My heart dropped into my stomach, and I shook my head back and forth. Tennyson grabbed my hands and leaned over to look directly into my eyes. "Jules, she is gentle. I don't think she is even capable of running. Her name is Pepper; she's a Tennessee Walker, and very old. She was used for disabled children to ride."

  I felt tears fill my eyes in humiliation and said very softly, “I’m not handicapped.”

  He laughed loudly and pulled me against his chest. “I’m not calling you handicapped; only the gentlest horses are used for that purpose, that’s all I meant.”

  I leaned around him to look at the horse and still felt terrified. Bethany stepped forward and put her arm around me, “Jules, I am not allowed to ride because I am too far along. If I ride her will you feel better?”

  “I don’t want to endanger your baby,” I told her, but the fact she offered did make me feel better.

  “Come on, Jules, it’s not like she’s a real horse, a rocking horse could hurt you before that bag of glue could,” Royal laughed.

  I walked over to her hesitantly, and she turned her head, watching my every move. Tennyson held onto the harness as I reached my hand out to pet her. He pulled a carrot from his pocket and said, "Here, it has carrots," he laughed.

  "You are such an ass," I said and grabbed the carrot from his hand.

  "Hold your hand flat so that she can take it," he said, showing me what to do. I worried the old horse would take my hand right along with it and tensed when her soft lips ran across my palm.

  Amylia walked up and smiled, “I’ll teach you to ride, Jules, if you want.”

  “Not around barrels, I hope.”

  "Oh, Jules... you are funny!" She laughed at my statement.

  "Why don't you climb up and I'll walk her around," Tennyson offered, and I glanced over to see the whole family watching. There was no way I would climb on an old mare, shaking from fright, in front of the royal family of rodeo.

  “Um…can you guys just…like…go.”

  "We have a brutal day planned," Royal said pleadingly, "We could use a laugh."

  “That’s enough,” Merritt said, causing me to like him so much more. “Let’s give her some privacy.

  They all headed into the house, and I turned to look at Tennyson, "They're just going to watch out a window, aren't they?"

  “Absolutely,” he smiled, and I nodded in understanding.

  “Okay, how do I climb on this beast,” I said with resignation.

  “Left foot here,” he instructed, holding out a stirrup. “Then swing the right leg over the saddle.”

  I stuck my foot in the stirrup and put my arms around Tennyson’s neck causing him to laugh and move away. I had to hop on one leg to keep from falling. “What are you doing?” I yelled at him.

  “You don’t hold onto me, grab the saddle horn.”

  I put my hands on the horn and waited. “Now what?” I asked.

  “Pull yourself up,” Tennyson said forcefully.

  I let go and pulled my foot from the stirrup. “I can’t even get on the stupid thing, take it back.”

  Tennyson began pinching the bridge of his nose and said with a forced calm voice, “She was brought here from Wyoming; I can’t just send her back.”

  “Well, I’m not some butch chick that can use my biceps to pull myself onto a horse,” I said angrily.

  "Amylia can mount a horse twice this size; you don't need to be a butch chick. Use a fluid motion and let the momentum pull you up," he instructed, and I looked back at the waiting horse.

  I tried again, putting my foot in the stirrup and hopping a couple of times before jumping into the air and pulling with all my might. I was thrilled I made it up to the saddle, and I forgot the fear of sitting on a horse.

  "That's my girl," Tennyson said proudly and began walking the horse down the path. After a few moments, he stopped and handed me the reins.

  I held them as he instructed me before and Pepper followed him as he headed to the outdoor arena. He opened the gate, and once I was inside, he whistled for Man-o-war. The horse came over, already saddled and I watched Tennyson climb up effortlessly.

  "Okay, I'm going to show you how to let the horse know what you want," he said, as I observed. "To make her go, push your heels down in the stirrups as your pelvis rocks forward and kick lightly."

  I did what he said and smiled as I walked my horse next to his. “Okay, to stop you relax your legs and pull with a quick jerk back on the reins.” I had that move down.

  "Now I want you to practice walking her. Keep your hands off the horn and lead with the reins in one hand, rock your body in rhythm with her."

  “What are you going to do?” I asked, wanting him to stay with me.

  He smiled and made a funny clicking noise, sending his horse into a light gallop around the arena. I walked Pepper slowly as he practiced all kinds of steps with his horse. I had no idea how long I rode, but I was getting braver and allowing the old mare to walk faster when Tennyson told me it was time to put her away.

  I followed him to the barn, and he led me to Georgia's old stall. He swung down and told me to do the same. I was stunned at how my legs felt. I walked stiffly and put my hand on my very sore ass.

  “You have to take off her bridle and saddle and brush her down,” Tennyson instructed, as he began working on his horse.

  “I don’t know how to take them off,” I said, and he told me to watch him.

  When I finally had her in the stall, I felt like I had accomplished something. Tennyson pulled me into his arms and kissed me fervently. "I have to go, but tonight I will show you how to clean the stall."

  “I have to shovel shit?” I asked in s
hock.

  “You want to be a Weller, don’t you?” he laughed.

  “Where are you going?” I asked him.

  “I’m going to the gym. I’ll be back later this afternoon,” he responded, just as I heard Royal yell for him.

  I nodded and tried not to let my disappointment show. I went back into the house and showered and changed. I was lying on the bed reading a book when Amylia knocked on the door.

  “I have something for you, Jules, come with me.”

  I followed her to a large room with a pool table and bar and watched as she put on a CD. "You get to dance with Tennyson now, not me," she said and held out her hands to place on my waist.

  “I’m a good dancer, Amylia, but not the way you guys do it.”

  "It isn't that complicated; it's only a few steps done in different combinations. Tennyson is a very good at leading and easy to follow. Pay attention to his hand on your back; he uses pressure to show you which way he's moving. When he pushes in, that means he's going to turn you, like this."

  I listened to everything she said and realized how truly easy the steps were in comparison to the elaborate combinations Eric taught me. Amylia was stunned at how quickly I picked it up, and we were dancing to the entire song in only a matter of minutes.

  “You should have been doing this month’s ago and spared me the stress,” she laughed.

  It felt good to be in my element and show the Wellers I was capable of something. "I finally feel like I can do something without looking disabled," I admitted.

  “Do you miss working?” she asked, and I thought about it before answering.

  I could tell her I missed the crowd approval, but I didn't want her to feel I needed constant gratification. She would possibly understand since she was cheered for in the sport she loved. I finally settled on saying, "I miss being busy and I miss Tennyson. I want to be with him, but he's so distracted right now."

  “It’s only because of finals, it will get better,” she promised.

  “Are you riding Sarsaparilla?” I asked.

  "Yeah, it feels weird, but he is a good horse."

  I couldn't speak intelligently about the abilities of her horse, so instead, I asked, "Does Tennyson always work out at the gym?"