Jules and Bulls

by Chandler Ardnas

  Miriam came into the room with a photographer and smiled when she saw me. “You look beautiful, Jules.”

  “Is Tennyson still on pain pills, so he’ll go through with this?” I asked nervously.

  “All his dreams are coming true on the same night,” she said, and I knew I would always love my mother-in-law. She pulled me to my feet and had the man take several pictures. "This should temper the anger from your mother," she whispered, and I laughed.

  I knew they would be unhappy they missed my wedding, but most likely thrilled that Tennyson talked me into it. Surely, they would see my side when I explained to them everything that had happened.

  It was time to begin, and everyone headed to the bar except Eric and me. "I can't believe this is happening," I told him.

  "Amylia informed me Tennyson is over the moon right now. He's crazy about you, but he would have to be, wouldn't he," Eric teased.

  "Eric, I didn't want any of this a year ago, now look at me. I love a cowboy, and I'm giving up Hollywood. Am I crazy?"

  His eyes began to fill with tears, and he said softly, "You just learned to dream bigger. I love you, Chica."

  I held out my hand, and Eric took it and led me to the bar. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Tennyson. He dressed in a white western shirt with a black tie, black Wrangler jeans covered by gorgeous silver chaps, and the most shocking thing was a simple buckle on a black western belt with silver tacks. His left arm was still in a sling, and I reached out and took his right hand he was offering me. "You're stunning," he said, as he stared lovingly into my eyes.

  “I love you,” I said, with a breathy voice.

  “Enough to keep me forever?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Royal stood next to Tennyson, and Eric stood next to me, although Royal's shirt didn't stop above the bellybutton. I can't remember a thing that was said, but I recalled telling Tennyson, "I do," when asked if I agreed to be his wife. I had to be very careful when I placed the ring on his finger and smiled at the similar band he put on mine to go along with my diamond.

  When we kissed, it was soft and gentle. Tenn held my head with his hand deep into my hair and refused to let me pull away. His lips brushed against mine several times so lightly I sighed and felt weak in the knees.

  “Morgan, Amylia, you’re up,” Tennyson yelled, and Amylia shook her head adamantly. The bar cheered loudly, and drinks began to flow.

  The photographer took several pictures of us together, and I had a feeling they would be all over the internet by morning, but I didn't care. Royal headed out to get his wife and child on an early flight with Miriam. He gave Tennyson a cautious hug and told him how proud he was, and then kissed me and welcomed me into the family. We both congratulated him on the birth of Lawrence and hugged Bethany goodbye.

  “I added a little surprise to your rings. I hope you don’t mind,” Royal said, before walking out the door.

  I looked over at Vince, and he smiled and nodded. I was stunned Royal would interact with Vince, and it warmed my heart. Tennyson and I both looked down at our hands in confusion until Amylia came over and said, "There is an inscription in both rings."

  We took them off and held them up to the light, to see the words, “Ride of My Life.”

  Chapter 27

  I thought since both of us were semi-retired we would be able to spend a lot of time together. It wasn't the case. As soon as we got home, the phone calls started. Everyone wanted Tenn to tell his story. All the major networks did satellite broadcasts from the ranch asking the same questions each time. A production company approached us to turn our story into a movie. Tennyson insisted on only two things; final approval of the script and just my songs would be in the film. We spent every spare moment on the construction of our house and movie details.

  Tennyson wanted to be there the day they filmed the sensitive subject of Man-o-war. He had taken me to his grave many times, each one filled with tears. We ordered a sculpture of his image, made of stone to serve as his marker. I never brought up the issue of getting another horse. I knew he would be ready someday.

  We arrived on the set apprehensive, and the actor playing Tennyson pulled me aside to ask some questions. "That night, was your husband like out of his mind angry, or shocked, or what?" he asked me.

  It hurt my heart to even think about it, but I knew this part had to be right. "Imagine having the one thing that loves you unconditionally, and it is your job to care for, being killed just because you may or may not do your job." He thought for a moment, and I added, "His heart was ripped apart that night."

  “I want to get the riding down perfectly,” he said. “What did his face look like when he rode his horse?”

  “Totally content, not a care in the world, and proud of everything Man-o-war did.”

  The man looked at my eyes and said, “This is going to be tough.”

  "He needs you to get it right," I said, adding pressure I'm sure.

  I found Tennyson over with the horse who looked so much like Manny. His eyes were sad and when he reached out and touched the horses head, his eyes closed in pain.

  We watched as they filmed the scene in the stable where Tennyson groomed his horse for the last time. When the actor held out the sugar cube, I noticed Tennyson smiled. They filmed several takes and we finally all moved into a sound stage for the night scene. The deck of the house looked so authentic, and when I heard Tennyson gasp, I looked down to see a fake horse lying on the ground in a pool of blood. Tennyson turned away and walked off several yards before leaning his head against the wall and punching the hard blocks.

  The room was silent as everyone gave him a moment to work through his grief. I walked over and hugged him tightly before leading him back behind the cameras. He stood with his jaw tight and his arms crossed as they filmed the scene repeatedly from every angle. The actor captured Tennyson's emotion correctly, and we were both exhausted when we finally left.

  The recording studio took most of our attention for several weeks. I recorded songs for the movie, and Tennyson's voice was the narrator in various parts. Actual footage from finals as he rode Diablo made it into the film. I stared at the montage moving in slow motion and couldn't believe Tennyson lived through the whole ordeal relatively unscathed.

  The night of the premiere, we walked the red carpet together. I still cringed at a few of the remarks Tennyson made; like, "Jules had a hard time getting me to accept the queers, but when I saw how much her friends loved her, I couldn't help but like them, too."

  "Oh, God," I said to myself and quickly moved down the line.

  A reporter I recognized asked me about the video Cherry had released. I laughed and looked at her hand for a wedding ring. "Does your husband worry about who you've screwed before you met him?" Her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open. "Then don't ask me about mine," I demanded, and walked off with a big smile on my face.

  We sat together as a family, and the tension rose as the lights dimmed and the music began. I was stunned at how close the script was to what happened. I refused to look at my father when the actors ended up in bed first thing and heard Tennyson chuckle, "I knew I had you eating from my hands."

  “Yeah, just take a walk my ass,” I said shaking my head, and he laughed loudly.

  My parents, Martin, and friends all turned to stare at me when they saw how I got my black eye and swollen nose. I only shrugged at them. Watching Tennyson and I bounce back and forth within our relationships seemed a bit ridiculous when it happened in the space of two hours and twenty minutes.

  The parts with Manny were the most painful to watch. We could hear sniffling throughout the theater, and Tennyson kept his eyes down the entire time. I knew he would watch it alone later, but he was still my tough cowboy and wouldn't cry in front of all these strangers. I was shocked to see precisely what happened when Tenn and Royal took off that night. I didn't realize how closely Tennyson came to murder. It took Royal and three other ranch hands to pull him off the newly hired man. I was so reli
eved when I watched the scene with Russell and me in his trailer, and it had him sleeping on the couch. I would let that bit of information remain between Russell and me forever.

  I thought I was prepared to watch Tenn ride but hearing his voice over the action on the screen pushed me over the edge.

  I pointed at my girl, the only thing I had to live for and watched her point back at me. She knew I could do this and I felt selfish for wanting to do it so badly. I didn't look at the arena; I knew Royal wasn't there because everything felt different when he was. I never rode alone when Royal was standing in the dirt. But this was my fight, not his, so I had to ride alone for it to mean anything.

  My father handed the men my rope, and I looked down at the bull that had caused so much pain in my heart. I turned to look at my father's eyes for strength, and he told me a real man doesn't worry about the possibility of failure, he only worries about never trying. It was the trying that made him proud of me. He kissed me on the forehead, a tradition for Weller men, and I felt his spirit pass me confidence.

  I heard my sister call out to me and she used the name, Tenny, knowing it would make me angry. Her fiancé was working the flank strap, and I heard him tell me to make it through the ride and kick her ass.

  The theater broke into laughter and Amylia smacked Morgan’s shoulder.

  I put my gloved, stitched hand into the strap and felt the rope tighten around my grip. My father took it from the cowboy’s hand and told me very softly to look at him. I stared into my father’s eyes as he wrapped the rope. I didn’t need to see it; I wasn’t planning on bailing out. I told him I would be bearing down and for him to make it good. I trusted him.

  I never knew until that moment that Merritt was the one who used the illegal wrap, sparing his son from having to do it. Tears filled my eyes as they locked with Merritt’s. He smiled and nodded softly as we exchanged a knowing glance.

  I felt the bulk of the rope in my hand, and my father nodded, so I sat my full weight on the bull. He instantly snorted and tried to rattle me. I pulled the image of Man-o-war into my mind as I held my hand into the air and nodded.

  It felt good for the first few seconds. The bull bucked hard, but I felt him hesitate before the spin, he wasn't sure which side was my weaker one. He tried the left side, but I remained evenly balanced, so he quickly turned to the right. I didn't adjust fast enough, and it sent my free arm into me. I warned myself not to panic. I had to think through this ride and not rely on instinct.

  I was leaning into the spin and didn't want the bull to feel me trying to balance in the other direction, so I held my arm out to the side. It stopped the leaning, but it didn't sit me up straight. Diablo's own kick put me back into the right position. I could feel the confusion in the bull's muscles, and he slung his head, trying to find me. I knew at that moment I had prevailed.

  The buzzer sounded. I won. So, I told that three-thousand-pound mother-fucker he had just been ridden.

  The image on the screen froze, showing Tennyson on Diablo with the clock reading 8.6 in the background, and Man-o-war on the overhead screen reared up in triumph. The theater was silent, and I quickly looked at Tennyson. Suddenly, everyone stood and cheered loudly. Tenn didn't stand but pulled me into his arms as we had a private celebration.

  I was glad they didn't add anything further in the movie. The story ended when the horn sounded. An entirely different story began after that point, and it belonged only to Tennyson and me. We were no longer the bull-rider and the pop-star. Life treated us no differently than anyone else. We had our ups and downs; days where we wanted to strangle each other, and moments we would never forget.

  I now spent most of my days in the studio we built in our house, producing for other artists, and Tenn spent his time in the arena, training cowboys. Amylia and Morgan eventually married and were expecting their first child. Royal and Bethany had two little boys, perfect gentlemen who tipped their hats at ladies, and Royal often traveled as a new judge for the Rodeo Association. Tenn and I had a four-year-old son, Ryder, who was hell on wheels. I felt Diablo had the last laugh after all. Tenn assured me the land would tame him, eventually. Eric and Vince were still together, still hiding their relationship, but visited the ranch often. Tennyson and Royal warmed up to them quickly, but Merritt and Morgan remained ambivalent.

  It took three years for Tennyson to purchase another horse. It came at a sad time in his life; a drunk driver killed Russell Tarwater on his way to an event. Tennyson spoke at his funeral and came home with a young foal. It was a black horse with a lightning bolt on his forehead. His name was Lightning, but I called him Harry… after Harry Potter. I got to see their bond form from the beginning this time.

  We found the perfect balance between our careers and our family. We were still madly in love with each other and looked forward to a long future. Royal said it best, life with Tennyson was the Ride of My Life.