Only You

by Jerry Cole

  “There you are.” Bradley went straight for Sherman, pulled him from the fridge and gave him a kiss on the lips.

  As if he knew this was coming – because he probably did – Sherman spun himself around and planted his own kiss first. “Yum,” he smiled and licked his lips. “Better than anything in here.”

  Bradley could taste remnants of cocaine on Sherman’s lips and gums, but again said nothing. “What are you doing home so early?”

  “Did you just call my apartment home?” Sherman smirked.

  “You know what I mean,” Bradley slapped at him. “It’s not even lunch yet. Early mark?”

  Sherman’s sunny disposition changed on a dime. His body sagged and his face dropped. “Covid,” he muttered. Now, Bradley understood why Sherman was home doing drugs so early in the day. Now, he almost felt bad for being upset with him.

  “Covid? What do you mean?”

  Bradley tried not to mention Covid where he could. Although it was affecting everyone across the globe in different ways, it seemed to have hit Sherman harder than most. The last few months had seen DreamLine Travel take a nosedive as Australia cut itself off from more and more countries. There were only a handful now that people were allowed to fly in from and this list was quickly shrinking. Worse that none of these flights were travelers on holidays either, but people rushing home before the boarders shut completely.

  It was a scary time regardless of what one did for work, and suffice to say, Sherman was not handling it well.

  “They sent us home,” Sherman explained. Almost automatically, he went for the liquor cabinet, popped it open and started to rifle through.

  “Who?”

  “HR — Nick signed off on it, if you believe that? Fucking conspiracy theorist.” He had a bottle of vodka in his hand and he made for the glasses as if he meant to pour himself some.

  Bradley rolled his eyes and snatched the bottle from Sherman’s hand. He was being purposefully obtuse and it was starting to annoy him. “Why did HR send you home?” he pressed. “Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to —”

  “Because one person tested positive for Covid – one! And not even on my floor. But as soon as they did the entire building was sent home. Do you believe that?!”

  “No... I don’t.” Bradley didn’t know what to say. He knew things were getting bad, and he’d heard similar stories in other countries... but for that to happen here? And over one person. It seemed ridiculous. “What happens tomorrow then? Do you all go back in?”

  “Home for the rest of the week,” he shrugged. He reached for the bottle of vodka, but Bradley held it out of reach. “Assuming our tests come back negative.”

  “You got tested?!”

  “Had to – oh, they said all spouses and partners and such should too. But I figure you can wait until my test comes back before worrying.” He then snatched the bottle from Bradley’s hand and skipped across the kitchen.

  Bradley didn’t try to stop him, but only because he was too concerned about what Sherman just told him to worry about whether he was going to get drunk at 12PM on a Tuesday. Fuck, maybe Bradley should join him?

  Covid was starting to spiral out of control. In some countries, entire cities had been sent into lockdown where you weren’t even allowed to leave your home. It was bizarre and a little scary and although Bradley didn’t think it would happen here... what if it did?

  The first question that came to mind was what would he do if he were forced into lockdown? Would he fly home and stay with his mother? Would he move in with Sherman? Or would he stay at his own place in Sydney, but be locked inside alone with no one to talk to? None of those options were really an option at all.

  And then there was his work. Again, there were stories of productions overseas having to shut down because of Covid. Would that happen here? If Bradley did get that role, would he lose it just as quickly?

  “You know what, pour me one too.” He indicated to the bottle of vodka. Sherman beamed and grabbed another glass.

  “Looks like we’re getting day drunk – oh! How was the audition? I didn’t even ask!”

  The rest of that afternoon was actually rather pleasant. Once Covid was covered and moved on from, the rest of the day was just like any other. They drank, they lounged about and they drank some more. When it got later in the afternoon, Bradley elected to start making dinner – just a basic spaghetti bolognaise – and Sherman elected to watch and comment.

  “I like my pasta al dente,” Sherman commanded. He was tipsy by this point, sitting on the kitchen bench, eyes just a little glazed over.

  “Do you even know what that means?” Bradley wasn’t even up to making the pasta yet, as he was still cooking the meat. But he laughed and shook his head anyway.

  “Hey, just because I can’t cook doesn’t mean I don’t know fancy things. I am rich after all.”

  “You’re right, you’re right,” Bradley agreed sarcastically. “How about I make this sauce tarte style?” It made no sense, but that was the point.

  “Perfect! With a side of caviar, thank you.”

  No matter what the situation, Sherman always had the ability to lighten the mood and turn most things into a joke of sorts. Nothing was ever serious when Sherman was about, and for that, Bradley loved him...

  Love. It was a big word and one that floated in and out of Bradley’s consciousness more often than not these days. The way he felt about Sherman was... well, it was complicated. He liked the man, he adored him, he lusted after him. He knew that his life would be worse without him, and he was honestly at the point where he had started picturing them in the future, just naturally assuming they’d be together always. But love?

  As the two men cooked in Sherman’s kitchen, or as Bradley cooked and Sherman watched and cheered, Bradley started to consider if he loved Sherman. Or rather, if he was ready to say the words. They were right there... right on his tongue... he wanted to say it so bad... but he never got the chance.

  Sherman’s phone suddenly rang out on the bench beside him. Sherman answered with a slurred, “’Ello... huh... you’re joking – how do you... fuck.”

  Bradley listened intently, trying to catch what was being said on the other end. But he had to wait until the phone was down before asking. “Who was that?” It was bad news. Sherman’s posture, expression and tone were enough to indicate that.

  “That was Nick,” he explained. He was staring blankly at his feet now. “Apparently, the government is going to announce a nationwide lockdown starting next week.”

  “What?” Bradley stopped what he was doing. “How do you —”

  “Nick knows someone on the inside. But it’ll be announced on the news tonight. Two months he reckons, no leaving the house, no going to work... nothing.”

  “Fuck...” Bradley, like Sherman, was now staring blankly at nothing in particular. This was... this was big. “Fuck.”

  “Yeah... fuck.” Sherman tried for a laugh. “Ah well... two-month holiday?”

  Bradley wished he could feign false enthusiasm at the thought of having two months off of life, but he couldn’t. All those hypotheses that he had been thinking over previously, all the possible moves he was going to have to make if lockdown went into effect were now looking very real. There was just one problem, he had no idea what he was going to do.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “I can’t believe you’re even considering saying no!”

  “I can’t believe you think I wouldn’t even consider it!”

  “Why would you?!”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Because...!”

  “Because...?”

  And on and on the argument went.

  They were in Bradley’s apartment of all places, storming from room to room as they argued and fought. It wasn’t a real fight though, like the one they’d had in Bali that time, but just a heated debate... for now, anyhow. Depending on how the debate ended would dictate whether this would turn into a full-blown fight, or peter out
into nothingness. As of right now, it could go either way.

  “You really don’t see why I think it’s a bad idea?” Bradley was being his usual stubborn self. That was typical Bradley though. Once he got an idea in his head, it was impossible to dislodge it. It actually was somewhat similar to that argument in Bali, where he refused to even consider moving to Sydney. He could be so stubborn!

  “I see perfectly well.” Sherman was doing all he could to remain calm. He had been the one to start the argument, but he also knew that shouting wasn’t going to help change Bradley’s mind. And fuck, he needed it changed. He had to change it! “I just don’t think it’s a very good point —”

  “That’s just because you’re being selfish.”

  “True,” Sherman agreed. “But selfish for the both of us – is there a word for that? When you try and be selfish, knowing it will benefit both parties.”

  “Don’t be cute,” Bradley warned.

  “But it’s so hard for me.”

  Bradley rolled his eyes and for a second it looked like he was about to break into a smile and succumb to Sherman’s charm. But then his face took on that same scrunched look it had been holding on to all day, and he turned and stormed into the kitchen for no apparent reason.

  “Can you stop doing that?!” Sherman chased after him.

  “Can you take the hint!”

  “No, I can’t!” Sherman came to a stop in the doorway, crossed his arms and watched as his boyfriend pretended to look through the fridge. “You know how slow I am. Socially awkward. That kind of thing. It makes picking up on basic social cues really hard for me.”

  Bradley popped his head out of the fridge and gave Sherman a look that could only be interpreted as ‘Oh really.”

  To this, Sherman offered a big goofy smile and shrugged, as if to say, ‘Classic Sherman.’

  This wasn’t a real fight, but only because neither man could let it get to that. In a weird way, they both already knew what the outcome was going to be – at least Sherman did – so they didn’t want to be getting off on the next two months on the wrong foot. Fuck, two months? That was optimistic from what the reports were saying.

  The fight was Covid related; something that Sherman predicted he’d be experiencing a lot of over the coming months. Just last week, the government announced that soon the entire country would be going into a two-month lockdown that would see people only allowed to leave their homes for exercise and shopping, and in some cases for work. Where this was perfectly manageable, it was the living arrangements that became a sticking point.

  Sherman and Bradley didn’t live together, not really anyway. Therefore, when lockdown started, they were going to have to go to their separate homes and not see one another for at least two whole months. No sneaky visits, no nighttime hangs, no nothing really. It would be as if they were doing long distance again... only this time living less than two kilometers away.

  “We’ve done it before!” Bradley had argued when the lockdown was first announced. This was five days ago now, when the reality had only just started to settle in.

  “How is that an argument?” Sherman had countered. “We lived in separate cities – we didn’t have a choice!”

  “We don’t really have one now either,” Bradley had then continued.

  Sherman raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Really?” he had said.

  “You know what I mean!”

  “I do. I just don’t agree with you.”

  Sherman wanted Bradley to move in with him. Bradley thought that was ‘too fast.’ Although he loved living so close, and spending nearly every night and day together, he hypothesized that if they moved in now, they would get sick of one another and destroy the relationship before it even begun.

  “I like you too much to risk that,” he had explained emphatically. That was three days ago, as the deadline grew nearer.

  “What a ridiculous argument,” Sherman had responded with clear disdain. “You like me too much to live with me?”

  “Yes!”

  To be fair, Bradley did have a point. Although the two were as close as they had ever been, moving in might just be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Sherman had never lived with anyone before and wasn’t sure how it would go down. He would have hated if he grew to resent Bradley, or if he grew bored of him, or if they fought but were then stuck together. Anything that might destroy the relationship should have been a big no.

  But... but... but two whole months! Sherman didn’t think he could go that long again. Especially seeing as Bradley now, finally, lived so close!

  And so, the two argued. Every day leading up to the lockdown, the two fought over whether or not to move in together. Sherman was clearly on the side of ‘yes,’ while Bradley was a big ‘no.’ But that no was waning, weakening, breaking a little more each day. Now, the day before lockdown started and Sherman was sure that his boyfriend would break.

  And if he didn’t? Well, Sherman actually had one final argument in the bank that he could use if he wanted to. He didn’t want to use it, as it was a rather low blow. But he would if he needed to. There was no way that Bradley wasn’t staying with him through Covid. It’s as simple as that.

  “And the drugs?” Bradley pivoted. He was out of the fridge now, leaning against the kitchen table, his palms flat on the surface. He looked weak, tired, like he was breaking.

  “What about them?” Sherman asked innocently.

  “Are you still – I mean, I know you are. But will you quit them? I don’t want to be in a house for two months with a drug addict.”

  “I’m not an addict.” Sherman actually felt a little offended. Yes, he did hard drugs often. But an addict? He certainly didn’t see himself that way.

  “Tuesday,” Bradley asked simply. “What were you doing when I came back to yours?”

  Sherman’s face dropped and he felt himself get a little angry. “I’d just found out my company was probably going to go under,” he snapped. “Excuse me if I needed a release.”

  “And after two months locked inside?” Bradley pushed. “You don’t think you’re going to need a release then?”

  Sherman’s nostrils flared, but he took a deep breath. “It’s a moot point, anyhow. My dealer has gone underground for Covid. Even if I wanted to buy, I wouldn’t be able to – and I don’t want to, by the way. I’m over all that.”

  That was technically a lie. Curly hadn’t gone underground at all. In fact, for reasons that Sherman didn’t know, the large biker had been texting him non-stop over the past week. He was yet to return the texts, but his stash was running low so he was pretty sure he would be soon enough. But Bradley didn’t need to know that.

  “I just...” Bradley was weakening. He could see it in his posture, the way he slumped forward. “... two months,” he sighed. “I don’t like it either – you know I don’t. But I’m scared.”

  Sherman saw his chance. In a flash he was around the counter, arms wrapped around his boyfriend in an act of comfort. “I know you are. Me too.”

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he continued softly. “Not about us,” he then hurried. “I mean... with this role I just got, and my apartment – even if Covid only last two months, I don’t even think I can afford to keep paying...” he trailed off, refusing to look at Sherman.

  As awful as it might have sounded, Sherman felt a small thrill. He worried that he was going to have to tell Sherman that he was paying half his rent and that he owed him; a sort of last attempt to get him to move. But this... this would work much better in his favor.

  “Don’t worry about that...” Sherman cooed.

  “How can I not —”

  “Because.” He held Bradley close, refusing to let him go. “I’ll cover your rent until this whole thing is —”

  “No.” Bradley tried to pull way, but Sherman didn’t budge.

  “Yes,” he pressed. “You know I got a huge payout last week – more than enough. And with us just hanging out for two months with nothin
g to do... why not put it toward your rent?”

  “I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “You’re not asking. I’m telling.” He gave Bradley’s shoulder a squeeze. “I want to help.”

  Bradley hesitated. “You’re sure you can afford it....”

  Sherman tried not to smile. He had him. “Easily. And besides, once we go back to normal and you start working, you can pay me back. I insist you do, in fact.”

  He had him. Even without Bradley saying anything else, Sherman could feel him melting under his embrace. Really, Bradley had no choice but to accept. If not, he would go bankrupt and be forced to move out. Obviously, Sherman would never let that happen but there was no need for him to say it.

  This way too, Bradley was now bound to him. Not only was he going to be paying his rent, but they were going to be living together for two whole months. It was more than Sherman could have ever hoped for.

  “Hey...” Sherman gave Bradley a kiss on the cheek. “I’m looking forward to living with you.”

  “Yeah...” Bradley smiled. “Me too.”

  The words were the right ones, but the tone of his voice was all off. Sherman didn’t let that get him down though. This was exactly what he wanted and he was sure that come two months from now, not only would they both be happier than they’d ever been, but that they’d decide to extend it from two months to permanently. Sherman had no doubt.

  ***

  The first week of lockdown went exactly as Sherman had predicted, as in perfectly and without worry. Really, he couldn’t pinpoint a single moment that he would take back. It really was that good!

  It started with the sleep-ins, of which there were a lot. Neither man had worked that week, so neither man had any reason or inclination to leave bed. When they woke in the morning, they had sex. Then they went back to sleep. Then they woke again and had more sex. Then more sleep and on and on it went. If this was how all of lockdown was going to go, then Sherman counted himself very lucky.

  It was around midday that both Sherman and Bradley managed to drag themselves from bed, and this was just because they had to eat. One thing that Sherman had been worried about was the food scenario. He was no chef – or anything close to – so he feared he’d be living off a diet of takeout and leftovers. With Bradley here, he didn’t have to worry.