Five Windows

by D. E. Stevenson

“ But David——”

  “ At once,” I said confidently. “ You and I are going to be married at once, immediately, straight off.”

  “ What do you mean? ” she exclaimed.

  “ I mean what I say. I’ve found out all about it and I’m going to the Faculty Office in Westminster to-morrow morning to get a Special Licence.”

  “ But I told you——”

  “ You told me to wait but I’m not going to wait. There’s nothing to wait for.”

  “ David, you’re crazy! ”

  “ Not now, Jan. I was a perfect fool but I’ve come to my senses now and I’m going to marry you at the first possible moment.”

  “ David, listen——”

  “ Jan, I’m not going to listen to a word.”

  “ You must listen! ” she cried. “ I’ve told you over and over again that we must wait.”

  “ We’re not going to wait. We’re going to get married straight off.”

  “ No,” said Jan firmly.

  I looked at her. “ Why not? ” I asked.

  “ Because——” said Jan. “ Oh David, I’ve told you. Must we go over the whole thing again? ”

  “ Listen,” I said. “ If you say you don’t love me it’s off and I promise faithfully I won’t bother you any more. That’s all you’ve got to do to get rid of me; just say, ‘ I don’t love you, David.’ ”

  She was silent for a few moments and then she said in a low shaky voice, “ Why are you—rushing me? ”

  “ Oh Jan! ” I cried and I took her in my arms and held her close. “ Jan, darling! I’m rushing you because I love you! Because I love you, love you, love you; because I can’t live without you; because you’re the only thing that matters in the whole wide world. I’m rushing you because I’m so terribly afraid of losing you.”

  She was hiding her face against my shoulder so I kissed her silky hair. “ Now you know,” I said.

  “ David, you’re frightening me,” she whispered.

  “ There’s nothing to frighten you,” I told her gently. “ We love each other, so we’re going to get married. It’s the most natural thing in the world.”

  “ But why not wait? Don’t you love me enough to wait? ”

  “ I love you enough to wait twenty years but we’re not going to wait. Come and sit down and I’ll tell you why.”

  We sat down together on the window-seat and I took her hand in mine and held it firmly. For a moment I hesitated.

  “ Go on,” said Jan. “ Tell me why.”

  “ Because you’re sweet and gentle,” I told her. “ Because you have a tender heart. That’s why, Jan. What would happen if I let you go back to Nethercleugh? ”

  Jan did not answer. She turned her head away.

  “ What would happen? ” I repeated.

  “ You don’t understand,” she said in a low voice.

  “ But I do understand. I’ll tell you what would happen; Elsie would do everything she could to prevent you from marrying me. You said yourself there was a queer sort of bond between you and Elsie; we’ve got to break it, darling. It will be better for you and better for Elsie to break the bond.”

  “ Better for Elsie? ”

  “ Much better. It will give her a chance to develop. She’ll never grow up into a normal human being as long as she has you to lean upon. I told you that before, didn’t I? ”

  Jan nodded.

  “ Well then! ” I cried. “ There you are. If that’s the trouble——”

  “ But it isn’t,” said Jan, interrupting me. “ That’s only part of the trouble—and not the worst part.”

  “ What’s the other part? ”

  Jan hesitated and then she said “ I didn’t mean to tell you but I suppose I must. It’s Freda.”

  “ Freda! Why should Freda mind? ”

  There was a little silence and I had to repeat my question. “ Why should Freda mind? ” I asked. “ What has it got to do with Freda? ”

  Jan raised her eyes and looked at me sorrowfully. “ You belong to Freda,” she said. “ You’ve always belonged to Freda.”

  “ Belonged to Freda! ” I echoed. “ What on earth do you mean? ”

  “ They all think so,” said Jan. “ Father and Mother think so. Freda thinks so.”

  I was dumb with astonishment.

  “ It’s true,” said Jan, nodding. “ That’s the real reason I can’t marry you, David. You understand now, don’t you? ”

  There was quite a long silence after that. I had to think. I had to try to understand. It meant looking back a long way down the years.

  At last I said, “ Jan, I simply can’t believe it. I can’t remember anything that could have—made anybody—think that. Of course Freda and I have always been friends and we’ve had tremendous fun together but neither of us has ever thought for a moment of anything else. It’s a most extraordinary idea to me. Freda isn’t that kind of girl. She used to say she wished she were a boy. She did really.”

  “ Yes, she used to say that, I know.”

  “ Well then? ” I said. “ Freda and I are friends, that’s all. There’s never been anything between us but friendship. You must believe me, Jan.”

  “ I do believe you,” said Jan, looking at me with her wide blue honest eyes. “ But you see Freda doesn’t think so.”

  “ Freda doesn’t love me,” I said with conviction.

  “ Are you sure? ”

  “ Certain,” I replied—and so I was. When people are in love they are vitally interested in one another. They want to know everything about one another’s lives. Freda was not interested in me. When I saw her at Haines she had been far more eager to tell me all about her doings than to hear about mine. I explained this to Jan and she was forced to agree.

  “ Yes,” said Jan reluctantly. “ It’s true, of course, but——”

  “ Freda is in love with Nethercleugh! ” I exclaimed. “ Freda would never leave Nethercleugh. She’s crazy about the farm and everything to do with farming.”

  “ I know,” said Jan in a low voice.

  “ Well then, what’s the use of worrying about it any more? ”

  Jan did not reply and for a few moments there was silence. Then gradually light broke and I began to understand.

  “ So that’s the idea,” I said slowly. “ I’m supposed to marry Freda and go and live at Nethercleugh.”

  Jan was silent.

  “ Is that the idea? ” I asked. “ Am I to go to Nethercleugh and learn to be a farmer? ”

  “ Yes, I think so.” Jan’s voice was little more than a whisper.

  “ Thank you! ” I exclaimed. “ Thank you very much, but I would rather starve in a garret! ”

  “ David! ”

  “ I would—really. Good heavens, I’d rather do anything! I’d rather be a tramp and sleep under a haystack. A tramp has freedom to live his own life and think his own thoughts! Yes, I’d much rather be a tramp.”

  Jan had begun to shake and I realised she was laughing. It was hysterical laughter, but I was glad she saw the funny side of the matter.

  “ You’re—very—rude! ” she gasped.

  “ I’m sorry,” I told her. “ I just wanted to make it quite clear that I find the idea unattractive and that nothing you can say will persuade me to try the experiment.”

  “ I wasn’t p-persuading you——”

  “ Oh, I thought you were! I thought you were trying to persuade me that it would be nice for me to marry Freda and live at Nethercleugh and breed prize pigs. I won’t do it, Jan. I absolutely refuse to be brother to you. I’m going to be a husband to you—see? ”

  “ David, I can’t! They would all be furious. You’ve no idea how dreadful it would be! ”

  “ Darling,” I said seriously. “ I can imagine how dreadful it would be and that’s why we’re going to be married immediately. I’m not going to let you go home until we’re safely married. Once we’re married it will be all right—nobody can come between us—and if anybody dares to be horrid to you they’ll ha
ve to reckon with me.” I put my arm round her and gave her a little squeeze. “ They’ll have to reckon with me,” I repeated firmly.

  “ Oh, David, I do love you,” said Jan, and she leaned her head against my shoulder.

  We stayed like that for a while without speaking. It was so lovely that I did not want to spoil it. Besides there was nothing to say. I knew that I had won the battle. At one moment I had thought I was beaten but I had stuck to my guns. I felt proud and humble and thankful and very, very happy … and I felt strong enough to fight the whole world for Jan. If anybody dared to be horrid to Jan they would get an unpleasant surprise. I almost wished somebody would dare to be horrid to Jan.

  Presently I took a little white box out of my pocket and opening it I showed Jan what was inside. There were two rings in the box—I had bought them that morning—one was a plain gold band and the other was set with diamonds. It was rather an unusual setting with one large diamond in the middle and a cluster of tiny diamonds all round. Somehow it had reminded me of a flower and that was why I had chosen it for Jan. I took Jan’s left hand and slipped the ring on to the proper finger. It fitted perfectly.

  “ Oh David! ” she said with a little gasp.

  “ If you don’t like it we can change it,” I told her. “ The jeweller said coloured stones were more fashionable, but somehow——”

  “ It’s beautiful! ”

  “ Do you really like it? ”

  “ I love it! ” she cried. “ It’s beautiful! It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had … oh, David, you shouldn’t have bought me such a marvellous ring! ”

  “ Why not, Jan? ”

  “ It must have cost pounds and pounds! ”

  “ It’s worth it,” I told her. “ I mean, if you like it——”

  She moved her hand about and made the diamonds sparkle. The ring had looked lovely lying on the black velvet cloth on the jeweller’s counter but it looked a hundred times better on her dear little hand. I took the hand and kissed it … and Jan turned and put her arms round my neck.

  After a minute or two she said, “ You were very sure, weren’t you? What would you have done if I had said no? ”

  “ Thrown the little box into the river,” I replied.

  “ You wouldn’t! ”

  “ Yes, I would—and myself after it. But I was nearly sure you loved me.”

  “ Why? ” she asked.

  I hesitated and then I said solemnly, “ I didn’t think you were the sort of girl who would let any man kiss you—I mean, any man who gave you a bouquet of flowers. You aren’t, are you? ”

  “ Of course not! ” cried Jan indignantly.

  “ Of course not,” I agreed. “ You wouldn’t have let me kiss you unless you loved me (flowers or no flowers) so I was nearly sure it was safe to buy the rings.”

  Jan changed the subject. She said, “ I wonder why Mr. Pendle hasn’t come.”

  “ Oh, I told him not to.”

  “ You told him not to come! ”

  “ Yes,” I said. “ I rang up this morning and asked him to come to-morrow instead of to-day.”

  “ But David——”

  “ I didn’t think we’d want him to-day, and we don’t, do we? I mean, it would be awfully difficult to concentrate on the exact shade of cream. Just think how horrible it would have been if we had chosen the wrong shade—too much pink in the mixture or too much yellow! We should have had to live with it for years. Don’t you think I was wise to put off Mr. Pendle? ”

  Jan was laughing too much to reply.

  I was glad I had managed to make her laugh (it was good to see Jan laughing) but I realised that I must go on without hesitation and get everything arranged in a hurry. Last time I had made the mistake of being too slow and letting Jan think, and I had nearly lost her. Our future plans must be fixed up here and now.

  “ Jan,” I said. “ Once upon a time there was a little girl with silky, brown hair. She hid in a cave with a boy and he tied her ribbon for her. He made rather a good job of it if I remember rightly.”

  “ She thought so,” said Jan, smiling. “ She thought the boy was wonderful. Go on with the story, David.”

  “ This little girl wasn’t very happy at home and she made up her mind that when she was grown-up she was going to travel; she wanted to go to foreign lands where there were gorgeous flowers and gaily-coloured birds and butterflies. I think she had the right idea, don’t you? ”

  “ But David——”

  “ They both grew up,” I continued. “ They grew up and decided to get married. Fortunately they had a cottage to live in, but before they settled down they thought it would be good fun to see a bit of the world. The boy suggested that they might fly to Florida for their honeymoon … or to South Africa, or …”

  “ Oh David—but we couldn’t! ”

  “ We could, darling,” I said, giving her another little squeeze. “ We will! You shall choose where we’ll go and I’ll write a book about it and make lots and lots of money! ”

  “ Do you mean it—really? ”

  I nodded. “ Yes, seriously. Mr. Randall wants me to go abroad at once and gather fresh material for another book. He says it’s important for me to keep on writing—and I want you to help me, you will, won’t you? ”

  “ Yes,” said Jan breathlessly. “ Oh yes, David. Perhaps I could type your manuscript or something.”

  “ That would be splendid. Well, it’s settled, then.”

  “ But what about Haines? ” she asked; and her eyes, which had been so bright and eager, clouded over. “ We’ll be married at Haines——”

  “ No,” I said firmly. “ No, Jan, there isn’t time.”

  “ But your father? I mean——”

  “ No, Jan,” I repeated. “ It’s a pity, of course, but Father will understand why we can’t be married at Haines. We’ll go to Haines when we come back from our travels.”

  “ Not before? Wouldn’t it be—unkind? ”

  “ Not before,” I said. “ It wouldn’t be a bit kind to go to Haines for a few days. For one thing it would upset Elsie. And I must get the new book started. The new book is important for my career and my career is very important indeed for both of us. I’m taking on the responsibilities of a married man so I must make a success of my writing.”

  “ Yes,” said Jan, smiling at me. “ It sounds awfully funny to hear you talk like that, and of course I see your career must come first, but I still think——”

  “ Mr. Randall suggested Spain,” I told her. “ But perhaps South Africa would be more fun. We could fly there, you know. Or would you rather go to Florida? There’s Greece, of course. What about Greece? Look, Jan,” I continued, taking a large packet of travel-brochures out of my pocket. “ I got these from the travel agency this morning so that we could decide——”

  I had only one hand available and the packet slipped through my fingers and fell on the floor; it was so tightly packed that it burst asunder and in a moment the floor was strewn with highly-coloured pictures. The effect was dazzling. There were pictures of blue seas with white waves and bronzed figures surfriding; there were pictures of coral beaches and exotic flowers; there were pictures of Grecian girls in their national costume strolling amongst tall, slender columns. There were deserts and camels; there were busy towns and quiet gardens; there were jungles impenetrably green, and rivers and lakes incredibly blue; last but not least important there were pictures of the aeroplanes and ships which were waiting to take us to any of these places we might choose to go to.

  “ Goodness! ” cried Jan in amazement and she fell on her knees and began to gather them up. “ Oh goodness! How are we ever going to decide? Athens! How marvellous! I’ve always longed to see Athens. Look at the girls in their lovely dresses! ”

  “ Let’s go to Athens,” I suggested.

  “ Or Egypt,” said Jan, who had discovered the picture of the desert. “ What about Egypt, David? We could see the Sphinx—and here’s a dear little Arab boy with a camel.”
/>
  “ Egypt if you like,” I told her. “ But we had better look at some of the other pictures, hadn’t we? You wanted to go somewhere and see beautiful flowers—look at these pictures of Bermuda.” I read out a description of the island. In these semi-tropical islands the nights are like fairyland and the air is heavy with the scent of flowers. Here you may see the brightly-coloured hibiscus and the night-flowering cereus. You may like to go for a sail in the silver moonlight or listen to music borne on the soft sea breeze …

  Jan’s head was very close to mine as we looked at the pictures together; pictures of bathing parties, of yachts with white sails skimming over blue seas. “ Oh David,” she said in an awed voice. “ I can’t believe it’s true. We couldn’t really go there, could we? ”

  “ We most certainly could,” I declared, kissing the tip of her ear.

  “ You said South Africa, David.”

  “ I suggested it. Look, Jan, here’s a picture of people sun-bathing at Cape Town … or we could sail up the Amazon, how would you like that? There would be marvellous flowers there. You choose, Jan. I got all these pamphlets for you to choose.”

  “ But I want to go where you want! ” she cried.

  I laughed. I did not care where I went as long as Jan went with me.

  “ We must be sensible,” said Jan, pulling herself together. “ We must look at them all carefully before we decide.”

  Together we spread them out upon the floor and tried to be sensible … but it was not easy. Every picture we looked at seemed more attractive than the last.

  “ Is that all? ” asked Jan. “ There isn’t another in the envelope, is there? ”

  I looked and there was. It was a coloured brochure of Jamaica.

  “ Oh David! ” whispered Jan. “ Oh David! It’s the best.”

  I thought so too. There were sea-beaches for bathing; there were coconut palms and banks of vivid flowers; there was a picture of some people shooting rapids on a bamboo raft. The description of the island was very attractive and it would be a better climate than the other places we had thought of. Even in mid-summer the trade winds are cool, announced the brochure. You will find it fascinating to stroll through jungles festooned with orchids, fern-covered valleys, forests of mahogany, cedar and sweetwood trees till the sea is far below. You can pick oysters that are fastened to the roots of mangrove trees under water. Jamaica is incredibly old, it is all that is left of a submerged range of mountains; it is beautiful beyond praise and, somehow, majestic …