by Elissa Daye
“Well, you are in my bed, Brina. Where else am I supposed to sleep?”
“Oh.” She slid out the other side of the bed and looked for anywhere to retreat to.
“You didn’t have to leave.”
Brina could see the white of his teeth from here, even without the lights on. “Killian....”
“Sleep, Brina. Just sleep.”
“I can’t.”
He pushed up from the bed and let out a loud sigh. “My presence bothers you that much?”
“No,” she denied, because honestly, her anger was starting to subside a little. Perhaps having a little sleep had helped with that. Or the fact that the man had saved her from peril with little thought to his own safety. Then he had carried her away. Granted, he hadn’t really given her a choice, but somehow, she knew his heart was in the right place.
“Then what is it?”
“I’m hungry. And if you must know, I have to pee.”
Killian chuckled loudly. “Okay, you take care of the second one. I’ll bring you some food.”
“Can I have some tea too?” She asked him. Brina had only had a little of it earlier, but what she had was delicious.
“Anything,” he answered her.
Anything? Really? Just how far did she want to push her luck? “Uh....”
“Yes, Brina?”
“Where is the bathroom up here?” She hadn’t gotten that far.
Killian flung the blankets off him and Brina sucked in her breath. He wasn’t naked, not entirely, but he might as well have been. Her eyes followed him as he walked across the room. Killian opened one of the doors and turned on the lights. “Master bath is right here.”
“Oh.” Now that the lights were surrounding him, her heart beat faster in her chest. She gulped slightly. He was the one with an animal inside, but she was the one who felt like devouring every inch of him. Her eyes met his and she saw the same light that always seemed to catch in them when he was studying her intently.
“What are you hungry for?” He asked her softly.
“Excuse me?” she almost squeaked. What was he talking about again?
“Food, Brina. What do you want to eat?” He was clearly amused.
“Oh. Right. A sandwich? Anything really. I’m not picky.” No, she wasn’t, but looking at him she realized she should have been much pickier in her partners before this moment. Compared to Killian, they were all duds. She moved closer to him and walked around him. Closing the door behind her, she tried to slow the beat of her heart. This time she knew he was chuckling when he walked away from the door. Damn him.
When she was done, Brina walked downstairs to help make the food. By the time she made it down the stairs, she realized that she had no idea where the kitchen was. When she had come in earlier, she had only seen the large living space with the couches and followed the hallway that led to the stairs. Walking through the living room, she heard the small sounds of a knife chopping something. She followed it through what must be the dining room.
Looking through the door connecting it, she saw Killian’s back. So much strength as the muscles rippled under the lights, yet something else too. A deep weight. He carried a lot within him. For whatever reason, Brina wanted to lighten the load. She walked slowly across the floor and put her hands on him. He flinched under her touch, but relaxed when she slid her arms around him. Brina rested her head against him, knowing that if she spent a hundred nights doing just this very thing, it would never be enough.
“Almost done.” Killian slid something onto the plate and pushed it aside.
Brina rubbed her hands along his stomach and felt him stiffen against her. “Relax, Killian, I’m not going to molest you.”
Brina moved away from him and put her hands on the counter of the sink. How was this ever going to work? His wolf wanted her, but did he? Brina just had herself to contend with—maybe that’s why it was easier for her. The only internal conflict she had was with herself. Like, why was she throwing herself at a man who didn’t really know what he wanted? Didn’t she deserve better? And yet, when she looked at him, she only wanted one thing.
She let out a loud sigh. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” Killian turned to face her, confusion on his face as he handed her a plate.
“It must be hard for you.” Her eyes met his.
“How so?” His jaw seemed to harden as he waited for her answer.
“To want something different than the wolf inside you,” she answered.
“What do you mean?” His jaw relaxed and his eyes softened.
“He thinks he wants me, but you don’t. The two of you are at odds.” Brina’s eyes broke away from his.
“Is that what you think?” His voice was soft, almost inaudible.
Brina couldn’t answer right away. To say it aloud only seemed to oversimplify the complicated way she felt about him. After a brief pause, she whispered, “Yes.”
He never answered her. Instead, he took her hand and led her to the dining room. “Sit, Brina. Eat.”
She did so, not because she wanted to be ordered around by him, but because her stomach started to rumble noticeably. The second she started to eat the sandwich, her whole body seemed to relax. When he brought her a hot cup of tea, she gave him a half-smile that seemed to appease him.
Though he joined her at the table, Brina noticed he didn’t touch the food on his plate. “Aren’t you hungry?”
“Yes,” he answered.
“Why aren’t you eating? Have I upset you?” Guilt rushed through her. As angry as she had been with him earlier, a switch had been turned on in her that she couldn’t seem to shut off. Perhaps it was the empath in her. Before she had only been able to feel her own emotions, because she had shut that part of her brain off. But when she was tired and hungry, she had even less control over that. Killian was disturbed, but the exact emotion she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
“Because I don’t want food.” His eyes flashed again and Brina looked away.
“What do you want, Killian?” She whispered across the void that seemed to be creeping up between them.
“You.”
Brina looked up at him. “You want me, or he wants me?”
“We’re the same, Brina. What he wants, so do I.”
“If you both want the same and he wants me, why do you push me away?” She asked him outright.
“Because this isn’t something you should jump into lightly,” he cautioned her.
“What, like I sleep around?” She crossed her arms over her chest.
Killian’s fist slammed on the table. “That’s not what I said.”
“It seemed implied,” she pointed out.
“I meant what I said, Brina. I can only have one mate. If you chose me, you would forsake all others. If you strayed….”
“What would happen, Killian?” She challenged him.
“I’d kill him.” An anger seemed to explode across his face.
Brina laughed at him. The idea of her ever choosing another man over him was ridiculous to her. Although, having him toss some guy over in a rampage would be something worth seeing. The very thought of him wild and reckless over her made her blood boil slightly.
“You think I’m kidding, Brina. He already wants to hurt my brothers, and I’m half-tempted to help him.” Killian ground his fist into his hands.
“Well, I couldn’t have that.” Brina reached over to touch his hands, but he jerked them away like he was on fire. He wanted her, but he didn’t.
She picked up her plate and carried it to the sink. She found her shoes by the door and slid them on, not caring if he were behind her or not.
Brina opened the door and walked out into the crisp cool air. She shut the door behind her and walked down the steps. Rubbing her arms, she shivered. A little cold wasn’t going to stop her though. She needed space from him, especially if she were going to keep him from bruising her heart any further. He thought he was protecting her, but really, he was just protecting himself.<
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She had no idea where she was going, only that she needed space. The world seemed smaller whenever she was near him, the air harder to breathe. He represented everything she wanted, yet he was afraid to give it to her, as if it was a hardship she wouldn’t be able to handle. Killian knew nothing about her, not really, which seemed odd, because the more she was around him the more she felt like she had known him her entire life. If he didn’t feel that exact way, then what was he doing toying with her? The back and forth was going to drive her insane.
Heading into the woods, she let the energy around her lead her. The trees cast shadows on the ground as the moon glowed around her. Brina looked up at the sky and saw the shining orb. So much magic ebbed and flowed through its light, the same magic that flowed through Killian’s veins. What he didn’t realize was the same magic coursed through her. Maybe it didn’t shift her into another creature, but it certainly made her unlike other girls.
Brina saw a large boulder in the middle of a small clearing that called to her. Walking over to it, she put her hand on it and felt a familiar tingle enter her hand. How often had he sat here? Did he look up at the moon and ponder the universe the way she did? Brina sat down and sighed. Her mother had always told her that when she found her love, she should hang onto it at all costs. What her mother had failed to tell her was that she might have to drag him kicking and screaming into it. Brina wasn’t sure she had that kind of resolve, not when he treated her so carelessly. His touch, his taste, his smell, it all left her feeling wrecked inside.
A snap of a twig caught her attention. She didn’t even bother to turn around. Brina knew he was there. Was it instinct, or did his pheromones emanate so much that every inch of her knew its scent?
“Killian?” She called to him. When he didn’t answer, she turned to look into the line of trees. Brina didn’t see the man; instead she saw the beast. She smiled at him and beckoned him closer with her hand. When he refused to move, Brina sighed. Pushing away from the rock, she made her way slowly to the beast that was watching her with wary eyes. He growled slightly, but Brina shook her head at him.
“I’m not afraid of you.”
As she stood in front of him, Brina took in every inch of the wolf in front of her. His golden eyes held some of the hazel that had just begun to haunt her dreams. His grey fur was filled with black accents that ran up from his black nose. Kneeling down, she reached out to touch him. The wolf pulled away from her, but Brina refused to give up. She sat down on the ground next to him and waited for him to make the next step.
When the wolf laid its head on her shoulder, Brina sighed against him. “It’s a beautiful night.” Brina knew he wouldn’t answer her, but he did step even closer to her. She wrapped her arm around his neck. “Almost peaceful.”
The closer the wolf got to her, the easier it was to feel the heartbeat in his chest. So much like Killian’s heart. The two were one, even though they seemed so separate. She shivered slightly as a breeze blew against her. The wolf nuzzled her head and she smiled. He was far more affectionate than the male part of him.
Brina turned to look in his eyes and ran her hand along his snout, and his tongue snaked out to lick her. Brina giggled. “That tickles.”
Heat flashed in the wolf’s eyes and Brina pulled away slowly. She rose from the ground and brushed herself off. Brina started to make her way back through the woods, but his voice called to her.
“Brina.”
She felt the need dripping in it, but she was afraid to look at him. Not because of what he might look like after transforming, but because she couldn’t handle rejection from him one more time. Brina put one foot in front of the other, ignoring the need to look at him. Had she not humiliated herself enough? Let him burn for a change.
Chapter 10
When she opened the door, she didn’t hear Killian enter behind her. His arms wrapped around her stomach and pulled her against him. She felt his breath on her neck and she shivered. Closing her eyes, she tried not to let his nearness distract her. She had been here before, and each time she had been left wanting something he was afraid to give her.
His mouth kissed her neck as his hands ran along her stomach. Brina’s breath caught in her throat when his teeth bit her ear lobe. “I want you, Brina.”
She sighed against him when his fingers started to massage her hips. One of his hands moved under her shirt and started its journey upward, where it rubbed against one of her nipples. She whimpered against him.
“If I go much further....” His ragged breath was her sign that he was trying to rein in his desire for her. His mouth continued to tease the base of her neck as his fingers tweaked over the other nipple. Brina was almost a puddle at his feet. “It can’t be undone.” Hot air on her earlobe again—Brina thought she was going to fall over on the spot.
Arching into him, her stomach tightened when his other hand ran along it. “Please.”
He growled against her neck as he bit it softly. “Please what, Brina? You have to say it.”
Brina turned in his arms and pulled his face down so that she could look him in the eyes. She didn’t want there to be any way he could misinterpret her words. “Make me yours, Killian.”
“You’re sure?” He asked her one last time.
“I think I might die if you deny me,” she pouted up at him.
A slow grin slid across his face right before he scooped her up in his arms and started to carry her up the stairs.
“Killian, I am capable of walking.”
He refused to answer her. Instead, he kept his eyes focused on the task at hand. When he kicked open his door, Brina giggled. When her eyes met his, she realized it wasn’t a laughing matter at all. Killian had a very serious look plastered on his face. She wondered what was going through his head. When he let her feet slide to the floor, Brina looked up at him again. She ran her hand across his face and sucked in her breath when he moved his mouth to kiss her palm. Had it always been that sensitive?
“Killian?”
“Yes, Brina.”
“I....” What did she want to tell him? The more she looked in his eyes, the harder it was to remember. “You should know I’m not about to give up my work.”
“Fine.” He nibbled on her hand and her insides quivered.
“I’m a pain to get along with.”
“I have four brothers—it can’t be worse than that.” He grinned at her before licking her finger.
“What if you change your mind?” Brina knew she was sure, but she didn’t want to ruin his life. “You’d be stuck with me.”
He ran his hand through her hair. “Brina....”
“Yes?” She almost stopped breathing, waiting for his reply.
“Stop talking.”
“But—”
The rest of her words were put to rest as his mouth covered hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and savored the feel of his kiss. His fingers worked at the ties of the sweatpants. When he loosened them, they fell to the floor with little effort. He stood back to look at her. “I’ll never look at that shirt the same.”
Brina blushed and fidgeted with the bottom hem. She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him. His eyes flashed, and she understood that it was the way beast merged with man and man merged with beast. It was their desire to make her theirs, to mark her for life.
“Too bad it’s in the way.” He moved toward her, his stealth sexy and dangerous at the same time, but he didn’t frighten her.
His hands pushed the shirt up over her head, and she stood naked before him for the second time that day. Brina felt a shyness now that she hadn’t felt earlier. Would she be enough for him? To her, Brina’s body was average. Perhaps curvier than most other women, but she hid it well under her clothing.
Killian pulled her tight against him, his hands molding her behind like a sculptor as his mouth took her in. When his tongue slid inside her mouth, she sighed against him. His taste, his touch, they both wrapped around her like a hazy concerto with a rising pitch th
at echoed in every inch of her. She felt his erection warm against her leg, and realized that somewhere along the line he had lost his clothing too. Brina wanted to stand back and take in his beautiful body, but Killian was slowly edging her back to the bed.
When he lowered her back against it, she shivered against the heat of his body as excitement started to rise within her.
His eyes met hers. “Brina.”
“Yes, Killian?”
“It’s going to hurt,” he tried to warn her.
“You’re not that big. I mean, you are....”
Killian burst out laughing and started to hoot just a little. “You are precious, Brina.”
“Now you’re making fun of me,” she pouted.
“It’s not the actual mating that makes you mine, Brina. Although it is part of it.”
Brina understood that. Sex could be tantric. Many rituals called for it, none that she been a part of before. She bit her lip and tried to ask the next question without sounding naive. “What happens?”
“I have to bite you.”
“Oh.” She shivered slightly and her eyes met his. “Okay.”
“Not yet. It will be easier if you aren’t thinking about it.”
“Well, that’s going to be hard considering how it’s the only thing I’m thinking of right now.” She punched him playfully on the shoulder.
His mouth covered hers and his tongue plunged inside. He readjusted his body so that he was lying next to her. Her body mourned the loss of his heat. Killian continued to kiss her as his hand found the small nest of curls between her legs.
When his finger slid against her clit, Brina broke the kiss. “What are you...?”
“Relax, Brina,” he whispered into her ear.
She tried her best to follow his order, but the fire he was stirring with his fingers was hard to ignore. Something grew inside her, a feeling that had been long dormant. Her stomach fluttered as her body started to climb for something just out of reach. Her breath caught in her throat as something pooled in her loins. She was just on the edge of something she hadn’t felt in quite some time, if ever.
“That’s it, Brina.” The hot on her ears, the soft gruff whisper, the way his fingers moved against her silky core, it all drove her well past her breaking point. When the orgasm shook through her, she couldn’t breathe. She thought his movements would still, but he continued to drive her further. She was well past the point of no return when an even stronger desire ripped through her.