A Pack of Love and Hate

by Olivia Wildenstein

  “Hey, Amanda,” I said without even looking up.

  She flounced into the seat next to mine. “Did you sleep last night? I didn’t. I couldn’t. I just drank my weight in coffee.”

  I smiled at her exuberance.

  She peered at me through her thick lashes, brown eyes narrowed. “This might be one of the first times I’ve seen you smile since you got to Boulder.”

  My smiled faltered.

  “It’s a nice change. Makes you more . . . approachable.”

  An older man walked in then, plaid shirt neatly tucked into pressed pants. He set a leather briefcase down on the desk up front.

  What Amanda said troubled me. I’d never realized that not being a high-spirited person made me aloof.

  In a low voice, I said, “I thought you girls didn’t like me because I was . . . you know . . . different.”

  “Ness, we never disliked you, per se. You’re just very reserved and a little prickly. But I think we’d all be if we were in your position.”

  “Tamara and Taryn definitely don’t like me.”

  She pursed her lips. “Taryn’s a ho, so whatever. As for Tamara, you sort of stole her boyfriend.”

  “He said they weren’t dating,” I whispered a little louder.

  She gave me a look that said: and you believed that?

  “I didn’t know.”

  For a long while, Amanda studied my expression. A couple minutes into the lecture, she said, “She’d really like to sort things out with him.” Even though she didn’t add, stay away, I heard her warning loud and clear.

  “What about Sienna?”

  “What about her?”

  “Does she hate me?”

  Propping her mouth to my ear so no one else overheard our conversation, she said, “Sienna had a tough time right after the breakup, but the girl’s got the biggest heart in the world. Plus, like she told me, there’s no point in trying to keep a man who’s in love with someone else.” She pulled away to inspect my face. “This isn’t news to you, right?”

  My heart began to batter my ribs so loudly I thought Amanda’s human ears might hear it. Hell, I thought our professor, who was busy singling out students and asking them what they hoped to learn during the semester, would hear it.

  “I know you’re not together because of Liam—Matt told me—but if you ask me, maybe you should get with August. That way, Liam would go back to Tammy.”

  My spine drew straight.

  “What?” Amanda asked.

  I didn’t know much about dating but sensed entering a relationship to better someone else’s wasn’t smart. “Tamara shouldn’t be Liam’s backup plan; she should be his only plan.”

  Amanda puckered her lips.

  “As for August, he’s my friend.”

  “I thought . . . never mind.”

  “What did you think?”

  “That you and him already crossed that line,” she said, just as the professor called upon her to introduce herself.

  I was surprised that Amanda, a notoriously critical person, didn’t seem disgusted by the age gap. If anything, she seemed confused as to why we weren’t together anymore. Or perhaps, she was acting cool as a cucumber in the hopes of driving Liam back into Tamara’s arms.

  35

  The first week was almost over before I crossed paths with Sarah. She was standing with two guys from her pack beside the entrance of the Roser Atlas Center. I almost waved when I spotted her—a kneejerk reaction—but thankfully, I stuffed my hands in the back pocket of my shorts.

  She didn’t acknowledge me either. It had been more than a week since we’d started acting like strangers, and it had left a huge gap in my life which I’d been filling up with work on my house and learning new fighting techniques from Lucas. Liam had stopped by the gym only once since the day he’d yelled at me for going to visit Cassandra alone. Lucas was vague as to our Alpha’s whereabouts. I hoped he was off learning something we could use during the duel, but maybe he was spending time getting reacquainted with Tamara.

  This afternoon was no different; Lucas trained me. We fought in fur, and although I felt like I was getting better, he wasn’t doling out any compliments. Honestly, I didn’t need praise, but getting some verbal encouragement would’ve been nice. Not that Lucas had seemed in any mood to be overly kind. Since the inn episode, he’d been acting downright testy.

  I imagined his crabby mood was due to Sarah but didn’t broach the subject, because one, I didn’t want to meddle, and two, I was afraid I might let the truth slip out to comfort him.

  As I left the gym, he called out, “Happy birthday, Clark. Hope you have a fun evening planned.” He raised a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

  I paused with my fingers on the heavy door. “Thanks.” I almost invited him to come, but it would be a little weird. Lucas and I weren’t really friends.

  If Sarah had come, though . . . I let that thought drift away before it could bum me out. Soon, I’d get my friend back.

  “You did good today,” Lucas said.

  I blinked. “Did you just compliment me?”

  His plastic smile turned into a real smirk. “Only because it’s your birthday.”

  “Uh-huh.” I winked at him and turned to go, but before heading home, I patted the door and said, “Sometimes, things aren’t what they seem, Lucas.”

  His black eyebrows listed toward his nose.

  Hoping I hadn’t said too much, I left him to ponder my cryptic declaration.

  When I got home, there was a shopping bag on the kitchen counter with crinkly pink silk paper spilling over the top like cotton candy.

  “Came for you after you left this morning,” Jeb said, flipping through channels. He was already dressed for dinner in a crisp linen button-down and khaki pants.

  I opened the little card tied around the fabric handles. It wasn’t signed, but it said: So you don’t wear sneakers to your b-day dinner. Miss you. XX

  I grinned. Only one person had an issue with my sneakers, and that person was Sarah.

  I pulled the paper out and extricated a shoe box. Inside was a pair of sky-high nude heels. I stared at the shoes before kicking off my sneakers to try my gift on.

  “Who got you shoes?” Jeb asked.

  “A friend.”

  “Which friend?”

  “Just a friend.” My left foot jammed against a piece of balled paper. I removed the shoe and fished the paper out.

  “A boy-friend?”

  I looked at my uncle. “I don’t have a boyfriend, Jeb.”

  “You don’t?”

  I shook my head, still clutching the piece of paper.

  “What about Liam?”

  “Liam?” I almost choked on his name. “He and I broke up a while ago.”

  The day your son died . . . Like paddles, the memory of Everest delivered an electrical jab inside my chest.

  I slid my feet out of the pretty heels and tossed the piece of paper in the box, but lines of black ink caught my eye. I picked it back up and smoothed it out. As I read the words on it, my breath snagged.

  Hoping my face didn’t betray my emotions, I said, “I should get ready.” I hurried to my bedroom, already dialing Liam. The second he answered, I blurted out, “Liam, the Creeks are coming after the Pines’ stash of Sillin. They know where you hid it.”

  “How do you know that?” His voice was hushed, as though he was somewhere he couldn’t talk.

  “I can’t tell you, but you have to move it.”

  He was so silent I thought the line went dead. “Okay. I’ll call Lucas.” I was about to say bye, when he added, “Happy birthday, by the way.”

  “Thank you.”

  Hinges groaned, and then air rushed through the receiver. “Got any plans?” he asked, louder this time.

  “Just dinner with Evelyn, Frank, and Jeb.” I didn’t mention the Watts would be there.

  There was another beat of silence. Was he waiting for me to invite him?

  He sighed and said, “I’ll
call you later,” before hanging up.

  I thought Tamara’s pregnancy would lessen his feelings for me, but what if it hadn’t? Perhaps it was a matter of time. Or perhaps it was a matter of me being single.

  Maybe Amanda was right. Maybe if I was in a relationship, Liam would stop seeing me as an option.

  Frank, Nelson, and Isobel were already seated at a table in the back of the restaurant when I arrived with Jeb. All three got up. Where Frank and Nelson offered me one-armed hugs and whispered happy birthdays, Isobel kissed my cheeks and then held me in a hug that was almost as fierce as my mother’s used to be.

  As my heart pinched, I was dragged into a set of new arms.

  “Feliz cumpleaños, querida.” Evelyn pecked my forehead. “You are sitting here. Next to me.”

  After lowering herself into her seat, which Frank gallantly held out for her, she leaned over and scrubbed her thumb over my forehead. “I am always leaving marks on you.”

  I didn’t mind the marks she left on me. I let her wipe away the kiss, even though I was certain I’d get more before the evening was over.

  The vacant seat at the end of the table had me glancing at Isobel. “Is August coming?”

  “He said he was on his way. You look beautiful tonight. Doesn’t she, Evelyn?”

  “She always looks beautiful,” Evelyn answered, her tone a little gruff.

  Isobel’s lips flexed into a wide smile as she leaned over and whispered, “Remind me never to get on her bad side.”

  Trent, The Silver Bowl’s owner, arrived then, and I got up to shake his hand and thank him for hosting us. “It’s my pleasure.” He uncorked a bottle of champagne from my year of birth. Which meant he knew I was underage, and yet he filled the champagne flute on the table. He winked at me. “A little gift from my wife and myself. Enjoy.”

  Just as he was finishing pouring champagne into everyone’s flutes, the door of the restaurant opened. I didn’t have to look up to know who’d arrived, but I looked anyway, because the tether thrummed. August smiled at the hostess at the door, who smiled right back. He spoke a couple words to her, and she tittered, fingers dropping to the V-collar of her dress. Was she trying to drag August’s eyes down to her breasts?

  Subtle.

  Finally, she turned sideways and pointed to our table. His eyes locked with mine as she led the way toward us. I should’ve probably looked away, and I sort of did. I looked down, first at his white dress shirt which he’d left unbuttoned at the top, and then lower, at his dark-gray slacks that hugged his long, muscular legs.

  I realized I was being as unsubtle as the hostess, so I finally tore my gaze off him and set it on the champagne popping in the glass I’d unconsciously plucked off the table.

  “Sorry I’m late.” Before taking his seat, he kissed his mother’s cheek, then his hand gripped my shoulder gently, and my heart jumped high, as though trying to reach his palm. “Happy birthday, Dimples.” He handed me a little pouch.

  Heart still suspended, I set my champagne down. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

  “It’s nothing really.” He smiled, and I sensed we were okay again. It had just taken him a week of one-word text messages to come around.

  I undid the ties on the pouch, then dipped my fingers inside the velvet until I came away with something warm and smooth: an intricate carving of a palm tree on a metal keyring. A grin broke over my lips as I stroked the perfect little piece of wood.

  “I heard you got a car. I thought you might need something to put your new key on.”

  “Is that a palm tree?” Isobel asked, leaning in closer to look at it.

  I nodded, the hair I’d blow-dried straight fluttering over one of the dresses from Sarah’s reject pile. The frock was as red as Evelyn’s lipstick and draped off one of my shoulders before tapering at the waist and flaring out. It had this vintage flair that made me think of something a Hollywood star would wear.

  “They’re my favorite trees,” I explained, then added, “Apparently.”

  “Apparently?” Isobel quirked a painted-on eyebrow. Like her hair, which was covered by a wig, her real eyebrows were growing back, but the process was slow.

  “Apparently I sketched my dream house when I was a kid, and it had a palm tree in the middle. August reminded me of it.”

  “Can I see the carving?” Jeb asked.

  I handed it over, and he oohed and aahed at the detail before passing it along to Frank.

  I mouthed a thank you to August, and it won me a devastating smile, which made my navel tingle behind my cinched waistband.

  Nelson lifted his champagne. “Before the food arrives, we wanted to say a little something. Ness, you’re like a daughter to Isobel and me, and although we know we can never replace Maggie and Callum, I hope you know you can come to us with anything you might need.”

  My bottom lip wobbled.

  “We will always be here for you, sweet girl,” Isobel said, making my attempt at keeping it together worse.

  “Nelson, you just stole my entire toast,” Jeb chided, humor lilting his tone. Directing his attention on me, he said, “Ness, I know you’re eighteen now, and legally not mine to keep, but I hope you’ll choose to stay with me a couple more years. I really enjoy having someone to take care of, even though”—his Adam’s apple bobbed underneath his gray-blond scruff—“even though you take better care of me than—” He stopped talking abruptly, his eyes growing red and shiny with emotion.

  As Frank patted my uncle’s back, tears trickled down my cheeks. I palmed them away, hoping they weren’t dragging down the mascara I’d applied.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Jeb,” I managed to whisper. “At least not without you.”

  He smiled, and my heart squeezed because in that moment, he looked so much like Dad. He didn’t have his dimples, but he had the same smile.

  “Six years ago, I met a sweet little girl with blonde pigtails who would not let me into her apartment,” Evelyn said, “and yet, the same little girl ended up letting me into her heart. Querida, I never had the chance to become a mother, so I never imagined I would have the chance to become a grandmother, but you made this dream of mine come true.”

  So much for staying stoic and well made-up. I lifted my napkin from my lap and blotted the corners of my eyes, leaving behind little black smudges on the pale linen.

  “I do not know if I am any good at it, though.” She lowered her gaze to her ornate plate and added quietly, “I want what is best for you, but maybe I have been wrong about what is best for you.”

  A beat of silence descended upon the table.

  I nibbled on my lip, my heart accelerating. I prayed I was the only one who knew what she was referring to.

  Whom she was referring to.

  “I’m happy your father didn’t take well to the pledge drink, Ness,” Frank blurted out, which made Evelyn’s gaze jerk off her plate.

  I laughed, which was a nice change from all the crying.

  “What about you, son?” Nelson said.

  “I’m still thinking,” August said, but something in the intensity with which he stared at my face told me he knew exactly what he wanted to say but didn’t want to utter it in front of everyone. Which was fine by me, because I was also certain that whatever he’d say would be heartfelt and make me cry . . . again. “But don’t let my thinking keep you from your drinking.” He raised his glass. “To you, Ness.”

  Without breaking eye contact, he took a long sip of champagne.

  36

  We had three incredible courses followed by the most decadent flourless chocolate birthday cake. When it was brought out, ablaze with candles, everyone in the restaurant sang and clapped. By the time coffees and teas were served, the waistband of my dress felt like steel wire.

  I was listening to one of Evelyn’s kitchen nightmare stories when I caught Nelson asking August at what time he was flying out to Tennessee to meet with the Rivers.

  He was going to meet the Rivers?

  I was so
disconcerted by the news of his impending trip that I didn’t realize I’d spoken out loud until both Watts turned toward me.

  “They want us to build them an indoor recreation center for the winter months.” Nelson beamed proudly.

  “That’s . . . that’s”—I flipped the tiny spoon on my teacup saucer over and over—“wonderful.”

  It wasn’t, though. Not in the least. Even though I knew firsthand that the Rivers genuinely liked what August and Nelson had crafted, I also knew the River Alpha’s daughter had a thing—more than a thing . . . ugh—for August. And if he went, the distance would cancel out our bond, and since he assumed my feelings for him were entirely platonic, nothing would stand in his way to hook up with her again. Trying to rein in my glumness, I swallowed the tepid and over-infused dregs of my tea that tasted way better than the jealousy basting my palate.

  At the end of dinner, after everyone had thanked Trent and filed out of the restaurant, Nelson said, “We have a birthday present for you. It’s for your new house. Let me know when you’re done redoing it, and I’ll bring it over.”

  “You didn’t have to—”

  “Will you just let us spoil you without putting up a fight?” Isobel asked, flicking the tip of my nose.

  “Okay.”

  Nelson pulled open her car door, and she climbed into the passenger seat. Before shutting the door, she said, “Thank you for sharing your special night, sweet girl,” and then she blew me another kiss.

  They couldn’t replace Mom and Dad—no one could—but I was fortunate to have them in my life. Whoever August ended up with would be one lucky girl.

  That thought just crushed me. Where had it even come from?

  Evelyn hugged me tight and told me she loved me a great many times before finally letting Frank tug her away. Only Jeb, August, and I remained on the glittery pavement.