My fear subsides, giving way to thoughts of Jackson again. Pain charges through me like an invading army, and I can scarcely breathe over the lump in my throat.
I still don’t understand why he had to be so cruel. He tried to let me down gently the first time, so how is this different? The disgust and loathing in his eyes can’t be faked though. He legit hates me, and there will be no rescinding anything this time.
Agony twists my gut into knots and pummels my heart. The image of Jackson kissing that girl surges to the forefront of my mind, and I squeeze my eyes shut to ward off tears. Inside, that swirling black void gains momentum, churning and churning until it’s a violent burst of dark energy swallowing me whole.
“Hey.” Abby clutches my arm as she whispers. “You’re going to be all right.”
I open my eyes, staring at her through blurry vision. “How could he do this to me?” My voice breaks, and I swipe at the errant tear sneaking out of my eye.
Sympathy washes over her face. “You love him.”
I nod slowly. “I’m pathetic.” I wonder how long it’ll take her to ditch me when she realizes I’m not cool to be around.
“You’re not pathetic. Love isn’t pathetic,” she adds.
All around us, people stand as the professor brings the class to a close. We stay in our seats as students stream out of the auditorium.
“In my limited experience, love is complex and painful and full of obstacles to overcome,” she continues. “Some external. Some we put in our own path. But once you get past those, love is the most exhilarating, blissful, rewarding thing. And it’s worth all the pain to get to that point.”
“It’s one-sided, Abby. He doesn’t love me.”
“You don’t know that for sure.” She chews on her lip. “Jackson doesn’t give many people his time, yet he spent the summer with you. That means something.” She eyeballs me. “I won’t give you false hope, but if he lashed out, it means he’s feeling, and Jackson works hard to suppress his emotions. I wouldn’t be too quick to write him off.”
“You didn’t see the way he looked at me.” A shudder works its way through me. “He hates me. He said I meant nothing, that it was all fake, and the look on his face confirmed it.”
“We need a girls’ night,” she says, surprising me. “I’ll fill you in on my story. It might help put things in perspective. And in the meantime, we’re here for you.” She stands, and I gather up my stuff, shoving my iPad and notepad in my bookbag.
“Thank you. I’d be a basket case if it wasn’t for you and Shandra.”
We walk out side by side. “You don’t need to thank me. Any friend of Sawyer’s is a friend of mine, and Xavier says you’re a sweetheart. That guy has a built-in bullshit detector. If they both vouch for you, that’s good enough for me.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Vanessa
“HOW ARE YOU holding up?” Shandra asks as we stand in line for the register at the food court.
“I’m okay.” I’ve numbed my thoughts and emotions, shoving them behind those steel bars I’ve resurrected. I just want to survive this day. Then, I’ll go home and rage at the world. “How were your classes?”
“Good. It was a productive morning.”
“Okay.” Abby appears in front of me as I hand my card to the girl behind the register. “Don’t freak out, but Jackson will be at our table.”
“What?” I squeak, almost dropping my card when the girl hands it back to me.
“We’re all sitting together. There are enough of us that you can avoid talking to him.”
I shake my head. “I can’t do that. I can’t sit at the same table as him and watch him all over some other girl.”
Abby grabs my tray, handing it off to a dark-haired guy passing by. “Chad, do me a favor and take that over to Kai.” It’s said less like a question and more like a demand.
“Hey, Abby.” He kisses her cheek, readily taking my tray. “Of course. You know I’d do anything for you.”
She points over my shoulder. “We’re sitting over there, and I expect you to join us.”
She’s super bossy, but I love it. I can see why Kai fell in love with her. She’s beautiful, smart, confident, and outspoken.
Everything I am not.
“Come over here.” She takes my hand, pulling me over to the corner, just inside the door. Shandra trails us. “I know you love him, and he’s taken a machete to your heart. We’ll make him pay for that.” Shandra nods in agreement. “But you are not leaving. You have every right to be here, and you are going to hold your head up high and show him that he means nothing.”
“Abby is right. Make it an Oscar-worthy performance,” Shandra says. “Sit with us, and ignore him. Laugh and look like you haven’t a care in the world. It will seriously piss him off.”
“Flirt with Sawyer,” Abby adds. “That will really annoy him.”
Their fighting spirit bolsters my fragile ego, and I find myself nodding. “Okay.”
“That’s it.” Abby grins. “I see that fire in your eyes. Use that. Remember how angry you are, and use that to fuel your performance. I’m not saying it’s easy, but you’ll feel so much better if you do this. You can’t avoid him forever, so it’s better to get this over and done with now.”
“And you have us,” Shandra adds. “We have your back.”
“I’m so glad I met you both. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“You’re one of us now, Van,” Shandra says.
“Call me Nessa,” I say, and my lips twitch. “It’s what Jackson calls me.”
“Hell yeah.” Shandra grins, nudging my shoulder. “Let’s play him at his own game.”
We push off the wall, and I follow Shandra’s lead with Abby behind me. My heart is pumping furiously, and blood rushes to my ears the closer we get to the table. I wipe my clammy hands along the side of my shorts. Abby tugs on my elbow, and I stop, turning to face her. “Don’t flirt with my brother Drew,” she whispers.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I whisper back. “I know he has history with Shandra.”
Her eyes pop wide. “She told you?”
“She mentioned it.”
“I’ve no clue what’s going on, just that things are awkward as fuck. She doesn’t want to talk to me because he’s my brother, and I respect that. Having you here is good. Maybe, she will open up to you. Keeping this shit locked up inside is never good.”
Tell me about it. I’ve years of pent-up emotions stored inside me, waiting to explode.
“Oh God.” My stomach dips to my toes as I spot the back of Jackson’s head. I slam to a halt at the sight of the same girl sitting on his lap.
“You can do this,” Abby says, snarling in Jackson’s direction. “Get angry and stay angry. And don’t look at him.”
It feels like the entire food court can sense how badly I’m shaking as I approach the table. I follow Shandra to the opposite end of the table to Jackson, claiming an empty seat beside Sawyer. Shandra sits on my other side, and Abby drops into the seat beside her, which also happens to be right beside Kai. She drops a kiss on his lips, and they share a moment as their eyes meet. It reminds me of similar moments I shared with Jackson, and I have to look away before I lose the tenuous control on my emotions.
I turn away as Sawyer slides my tray to me. “Are you okay?” he whispers.
“A heads-up would’ve been nice,” I murmur.
A loud giggle emanates from the top of the table, and it takes colossal willpower not to look up. I dig my nails into my thighs, cursing that stupid bitch. How can she want to be with him after the way he spoke to me this morning?
“Let’s talk this evening,” Sawyer says.
Kai’s fork drops on the table, clanging noisily. “Vanessa?” He gawks at me, like he’s just seen a ghost.
“Hey, Cam.” Shit. Nerves have me on edge. I clear my throat. “Sorry, Kai.” Wow, he’s gotten even hotter since the last time I saw him. And he’s lost that air of aggression that used
to follow him everywhere. Marriage clearly suits him.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, sliding his arm along the back of Abby’s chair
I glare at Sawyer. “Why didn’t you tell him?”
“I was waiting for someone else to,” he mumbles, and I almost jerk my head in Jackson’s direction, but I stop myself in time.
“I’m Chad.” The guy sitting across from me, the one who took my tray, extends his arm, and I shake his hand.
“Nessa. Thanks for carrying my tray.”
“You’re welcome. This is my boyfriend, Vic.” He gestures at the guy sitting beside him.
He’s tall with a lean build and cute wireframes. He nods politely at me while smiling. “Good to meet you.”
“Might as well get all the introductions out of the way,” a guy with a deep voice says, and I turn my head slightly to look at the guy sitting on Sawyer’s other side.
I catch a glimpse of Jackson out of the corner of my eye, and pain spears through my heart. The brunette is still on his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck, and he’s running his hand up and down her back.
Shandra discreetly pinches my knee under the table, and I snap out of it, giving the good-looking guy with the dark hair and eyes my full attention. “You must be Drew,” I say, because the resemblance to Abby is strong.
“Welcome to Rydeville.” His entire face comes to life when he smiles, and I can see why Shandra is interested in him. “Are you staying on campus?”
“No, I’m—”
“I don’t think we’ve finished with the introductions,” Jackson bellows, commanding everyone’s attention.
“I already know who you are,” I say without looking at him. I grip the edge of my chair, bracing myself for the onslaught I know is coming.
“But you haven’t met the beautiful Belinda,” he mocks.
“I don’t care that we’re in public, Jackson,” Abby retorts, standing abruptly. Her chair scrapes along the floor, drawing the attention of the students at adjoining tables. “I will still kick your ass.”
“This should be interesting,” Sawyer murmurs, pursing his lips.
I ignore him, because it’s not funny, and I’m reminded I’m mad at him too.
Jackson chuckles. “You seem to be laboring under some misapprehension, Abby darling. I’d be happy to clear it up for you.”
“I’m pretty sure I have all the facts.” Abby stabs her finger in his direction. “You’re an asshole, and we’ll be having words.”
“Babe.” Kai takes Abby’s hand, pulling her back down. “What’s going on?”
Abby’s eyes meet mine. “Jackson has disrespected Nessa, and that shit is not happening on my watch.”
Jackson chuckles, like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. “That wasn’t the misapprehension I was talking about.”
“Lauder.” Kai’s tone carries considerable warning. His eyes flicker to mine briefly.
Fuck. He remembers.
All my muscles lock up tight as an ominous sense of dread washes over me. My head whips around of its own volition, and I pin terrified eyes on Jackson, my distress over the fawning girl on his lap paling in comparison to what he’s about to do. My eyes beg him not to do this, and the asshole smirks.
“What are you insinuating?” Abby asks, suspicion creeping into her tone.
“Ask Kai how he knows Vanessa.” Jackson waggles his brows.
Abby’s gaze bounces between me and her husband.
“Shit.” Sawyer groans, dragging a hand through his hair.
“Shut your mouth, Lauder,” Kai warns, but Jackson ignores him, hell-bent on staying the course.
“Better yet, ask Vanessa how intimately she knows your husband,” Jackson continues, oblivious to all those he hurts with his words, because he’s not just ruining my friendship with Abby before it’s even begun; he’s damaging his friendship with her and one of his best friends.
Abby’s frozen stare pins me in place, and I want the ground to open and swallow me.
“You’re fucking dead,” Kai roars, jumping up, fists clenched, ready to kill his friend.
Sawyer moves fast, grabbing Kai before he pounces on Jackson.
“You slept with Kai?” Abby asks, shock splayed across her face.
“It was one time, years ago. We were both trashed, and I barely even remember it,” I explain, gulping over the painful lump in my throat. She stares at me, and I hang my head in shame. I’ve officially reached my limit, and I need to get out of here. Grabbing my bag, I stand.
Shandra shoots me a sympathetic look as she circles her arm around Abby. Kai glares at Jackson, but the asshole just sits there smirking with the bimbo on his lap giggling like she hasn’t just witnessed devastation.
“I’m sorry, Abby,” I say, clasping the strap of my bag and walking off.
Jackson is grinning like the cat that got the cream as Belinda paws at him. Anger blisters under the surface of my skin, and I stop, glaring down at him. “I don’t know how I ever saw any good in you. You’re poison, and you infect every person you touch. That was a shitty thing to do to your friends. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
I walk off, holding my head up high, but it’s all a façade.
I can’t stay here any longer. How can I face Abby now she knows I had sex with her husband? She’ll hate me and want nothing to do with me.
In a few hours, Jackson has succeeded in obliterating my heart, destroying my burgeoning friendships, and shattering my dream.
I virtually sprint out of the building and across campus to my car, ignoring the vibration of my cell in my jeans pocket. I need to get out of my head and lick my wounds away from here.
The second I reach my penthouse apartment, I take the bottle of vodka I just bought out of my bag and retreat to my bed to numb my pain and block out reality.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Jackson
“WHERE IS HE?” Anderson’s furious voice filters into the kitchen from my hallway, and I brace myself for an ass-kicking. I deserve it. It was a low blow, and I didn’t stop to consider how it would hurt Kai and Abby. I was too fucking pissed that Nessa has somehow already gotten Abby and Shandra on her side, that she was sitting at our fucking table, whispering cozily with Sawyer, and that she had the nerve to ignore me.
I can’t ruin her if she pretends like I don’t exist. So, I took action to force her to confront me, pissing my best friend and his wife off in the process.
Angry footsteps thud down the hallway and enter the kitchen.
I turn around just as he thrusts his fist in my face. My head whips back as pain glances along one side of my jaw, up over my cheekbone, rattling my skull. “Aw, fuck.” I straighten up, just as Abby comes at me, slapping the other side of my face with more force than I’d expect of her.
Now, I’ve got matching soreness in both cheeks, but I deserve it.
“You motherfucking asshole,” Anderson says, reeling Abby into his arms. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“How long do you have, and where do you want to begin?” Hunt drawls, propping his butt against the edge of the kitchen table.
“Fuck you, man.” I flip him the bird.
“I want answers, and I want them now,” Abby says, glaring at me.
“It was a shitty move, and I shouldn’t have pulled it. I apologize if I hurt you. That wasn’t my intention.”
She prods her finger in my chest. “We all know your intention was to hurt Nessa, and that is not acceptable to me. She’s the one you owe the biggest apology to.”
My eyes pop wide. “You’re fucking defending her?” I throw my hands in the air. “She slept with your husband, and you still want to play nice?!”
Abby smirks, extracting herself from Anderson’s embrace, putting her face all up in mine. “Kai has explained the circumstances. It’s part of his past. One I knew he had when I married him. It was a shock hearing it like that, but I’m not angry with Nessa.” She jabs me in the chest with her long nail. “I
’m angry with you!”
“This is priceless.” I tug at my ears because they’re obviously malfunctioning. “Someone hand me a syringe. My ears are clearly blocked because you did not just say what I think you did.”
She grins, and there’s a wicked glint in her eye I’ve seen before. “News flash, asshole. If you thought your little stunt would ruin my friendship with Nessa, you are sorely mistaken. If anything, you’ve just made me more determined to make her my new best friend.”
“Our new best friend,” Shandra says, arriving in the kitchen with Drew in tow.
Great. Just what I need. Abby’s annoying twin sticking his nose where it’s not wanted.
“Have you all gone mad?” My gaze jumps around them.
“The only crazy person in this room is you,” Hunt supplies.
“Everyone, sit down,” Abby demands, pointing at the kitchen table. “We’re talking this out.”
“Like hell we are.” I fold my arms and pout. “This is nothing to do with any of you, and I’m not discussing it.” I shoot Hunt a warning look, silently reminding him of our deal.
“You made this about us the second you dragged us into this,” Anderson says, still glaring at me like he wants to slice my head off my body. “You hurt my wife, dickhead, and you’ll give us fucking answers, or the next time, I won’t just throw a punch. I won’t stop until you’re lying in a pool of blood at my feet.”
“It’s time,” Hunt says, eyeballing me.
Wait? What! He better not be saying what I think he’s saying. “We have a deal,” I hiss in his ear as he moves to go past me.
He barks out a harsh laugh. “If you think Abby isn’t going to get the truth out of you, you clearly don’t know her as well as you think.” He slaps me on the back. “Fess up, man. They’ll be on your side. It’s the only way you’ll repair the damage you did today.”
My shoulders slump in resignation. I knew returning to Rydeville would increase the chances they’d find out, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon.
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