Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 4

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  “It…It didn’t even faze that thing!” Raul cried out despondently.

  Finn, however, just smiled as he wiped out the remaining tentacles. “You did well, Raul!”

  An instant later, a figure in a red hakama shrieked down the cleared passageway.

  “Mind if I take a stab at this fella?”

  “!”

  Her black ponytail fluttering behind her, Tsubaki sprang forward, landing directly in front of the masked creature.

  The hooded figure, still off-balance from the earlier attack, didn’t have time to react before the half-dwarf, her right eye narrowed, unsheathed her tachi at godlike speed.

  It was a direct hit.

  “Guuwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrghhh!!”

  The creature’s right arm went flying, metal glove and all.

  It let out a scream of anguish as the limb danced through the air. Tsubaki readied herself for a second strike. The killing blow had failed only due to her opponent’s split-second dodge.

  But then.

  “—Devour!” it shouted, drawing one of the violas toward it.

  And before Tsubaki’s blade could reach its target, the repulsive flower had swallowed the hooded figure whole.

  “What the—?!”

  The flower let out a scream as the sword sliced at its long body, before scuttling away with the creature in its mouth.

  One of its tentacles snatched the arm still flying through the air before the whole thing disappeared into a nearby cave. Tsubaki, befuddled as ever, made to follow, but not before a certain high elf finished casting her spell.

  “—Wynn Fimbulvetr!!”

  Out shot the three tendrils of icy snow.

  The magic froze the entirety of the cave, all the way to her main target deep within its confines.

  The escaping viola, its back turned to the cave’s opening, was instantly encased in a world of solid blue ice.

  Tsubaki dashed forward in high spirits, her prey now frozen in its tracks.

  “…Huh?”

  “What is it, Tsubaki?”

  Tsubaki had cracked open the flower ice sculpture, tachi at the ready and looking for the hooded figure, but she now stood rooted to the spot in wide-eyed surprise.

  Riveria raced over, leaving Finn, Raul, and the others to fend off the remaining monsters, only to be met with the same astonishing scene.

  “Nothing but a…robe?”

  “How could it possibly have escaped?!”

  Indeed, as the two of them stared into the shattered mouth of the viola, all they found was an empty robe and a frozen, cracked mask. Even the severed arm was gone; nothing remained but the metal glove and strip of cloth that had once covered it.

  “Could it have escaped during that one instant our vision was obscured by my blizzard?” Riveria mused in pure amazement.

  “There’s no way! That’d be the fastest escape I’ve ever seen…” Tsubaki muttered somewhat bitterly next to her.

  The two women raised their heads to find another ever-so-narrow path shooting off from the side of the tunnel, connecting itself to the intricate remainder of the Dungeon.

  “Riveria. Tsubaki,” Finn said from behind them. The prum was followed by Raul and the other supporters, along with Aiz, having returned from her caterpillar extermination. Riveria and Tsubaki turned to face him.

  “I apologize, Finn…we’ve allowed it to escape.”

  “Whadda we do? Follow it?”

  Finn glanced down at the frozen body of the viola, studying the bluish-purple robe and metallic glove for a moment before shaking his head.

  “Our priority now is to reconvene with Gareth and the others. We should hurry to the fifty-eighth floor.”

  “Understood.”

  None of them were about to argue, not when their companions’ safety was at stake.

  And so, with the presence of the creature they’d let escape still on their minds, the group began making their way down to the lower floors once more.

  “Aiz, if you could take the front line again?” Finn asked.

  “Of course,” Aiz responded with a nod.

  The adventurers raced off, leaving the hooded robe hidden beneath snow and frost behind them.

  A fierce battle was raging on the fifty-eighth floor.

  The group of adventurers clashed against monster after monster in an attempt to survive, but the path to the fifty-seventh floor—their only path of retreat—was blocked by the incoming swarms of giant caterpillars.

  The caterpillar monsters had formed a multitudinous herd, attacking not only Gareth’s party but other monsters in the vicinity, as well. Their innate ability to sense magic and magic stones was leading them to the battlefield in droves.

  From the caterpillars spitting out their corrosive acid and devouring their unlucky prey whole—magic stones and all—to the ferocious monsters attacking with teeth and claws, indifferent to their own dissolution, to the flock of wyverns overhead, pelting them with salvos of fireballs, it was an outright free-for-all.

  Thunderous roars, bestial cries, and dragons’ breaths mixed throughout the fifty-eighth floor.

  “Is this normal for the floors down here?!”

  “How the hell am I supposed to know?!”

  As friendly fire pervaded the area, Tiona and Bete mowed down the monsters around them to advance on the newly spawned valgang dragon that had just burst through the Dungeon wall. In an attempt to prevent its massive fireball from obliterating friend and foe alike, they charged the great red beast and took it down with an icy kick from Bete’s magic-charged boots and a series of killing blows from Tiona’s massive Durandal sword. If they had to thank those caterpillar monsters for one thing, it was that they’d made it a lot easier to move about the battlefield.

  The two of them deftly dodged the incoming blasts of corrosive acid as the brutal three-way battle continued.

  Lefiya, currently under Tione’s protection, avoided casting anything too recklessly lest she draw the attention of those caterpillars.

  At the same time, Gareth was fighting with a sheer intensity, his mantle fluttering wildly. “Do these brutes ever stop fighting?” he mused, taking out one enemy after another with his two axes. Each mighty swing of his weapons made an impact like a bomb.

  A nearby swarm of caterpillars responded by unleashing a burst of corrosive acid.

  “Show me somethin’ I haven’t seen before!” he shouted before quickly dodging, slamming his Grand Ax into the ground with a brilliant flash.

  The sheet of rock crumbled, bits and pieces of stone flying off to hit the caterpillars like explosive missiles. Their bodies crumpled, riddled with holes and leaking acid on the ground below.

  The dwarf soldier’s Durandal ax took care of the remaining caterpillar with a massive upward swing.

  “Grrraaaagh!!”

  “Gunngh!”

  The beast didn’t even have a chance to respond. The longitudinal swing cut it in half.

  They’d been fighting for nearly eight hours now, and the dwarf’s ferocity had yet to wane. And yet, these uncanny beasts…Gareth eyed the monsters suspiciously from beneath his helmet. He was studying their movement. Comin’ from the northern tunnel they might be; we’ve somehow reached the hall’s center. We’re movin’ south.

  He threw a glance behind him to where the droves of caterpillars continued to pour out of the tunnel leading to the fifty-seventh floor.

  Ahead of him and to the south was another tunnel—the path that would lead them to the next floor down.

  These brutes aren’t fixin’ to reach the fifty-ninth floor themselves, are they? Tryin’ to move even farther downward?

  Could the caterpillar monsters rampaging about these depths be attempting to return home?

  Gareth narrowed his eyes at the entrance to the unknown, shrouded in darkness, then wrenched his gaze away, his thoughts returning to the battle at hand.

  “Th-they’re still coming!” Tione cried out with a curse, sweat forming along her neck and temple as
another of the great red dragons spawned on the Dungeon floor.

  The young adventurers couldn’t hide their fatigue as the long battle continued. Bete’s tongue practically lolled from his mouth, Tiona’s wrists trembled, and Lefiya’s breath sounded ragged and strained.

  Gareth, however, as tough as ever and showing no signs of weariness, dashed forward toward the newly spawned valgang dragon breaking through the floor—until.

  “Wynn Fimbulvetr!”

  The massive blizzard descended on them from the northern tip of the hall.

  It froze everything: the valgang dragon and the massive swarms of monsters still littering the area. And as Tione and the others watched in awe, a golden flash reflected in their saucerlike eyes.

  “Ngh!!”

  A golden-haired, golden-eyed swordswoman shot forward like an arrow, shattering the valgang dragon ice sculpture.

  Desperate sliced through the frozen dragon’s neck, separating its head from its body and sending chunks of ice to the ground below in great, thunderous crashes.

  “Miss Aiz!!”

  “Riveria!”

  Lefiya and Tione cried out in simultaneous jubilation at the sight of their companions.

  Aiz came to a stop in the middle of the hall with Riveria, Finn, and Tsubaki hot on her heels. Even Raul, completely unharmed along with the other three supporters, dashed forward to join them.

  “Captaaaaaaaaaaain!!” Tione called out, her energy restored in a flash.

  “Save the celebration for later!” Finn replied, only half acknowledging her before barking out commands to the others. “We still need to finish off the remaining monsters!!”

  The powerful sound of their leader’s voice stoking their spirits, Bete and the others joined forces with Aiz and set their sights on the monsters still roaming the open space.

  The supporters’ protection glowing bright, it didn’t take long for the carcasses of the caterpillars and wyverns to pile up, mountain upon mountain of ash littering the ground.

  “Miss Aiz! You aren’t hurt?” inquired Lefiya.

  “I’m fine, yeah…You guys made it through?”

  “By the skin of our teeth! All thanks to Gareth.” Tiona, this time.

  There wasn’t a presence to be felt; the party had seemingly reached a long break from the encounters. Even the many holes perforating the ceiling thanks to the valgang dragons had sealed themselves up, leaving the fifty-eighth floor in silence.

  The reunited Aiz, Lefiya, and Tiona brought their hands together joyfully.

  Finn and Riveria checked on Gareth while Tsubaki, laughing about one thing or another, gave Tione and Bete a resounding series of pounds upon their backs. Tione just smirked, though Bete shot her a look of hate. Meanwhile, Raul and the other supporters passed out healing items from their backpacks, tears trembling in their eyes.

  “Oh-ho-ho! This a fang from one of those crazy dragons that kept blastin’ away at us? And what’s this? A scale?! You’ve just gotta let me take these back!” Tsubaki pulled out first a valgang dragon fang and then a red scale from amid the plethora of drop items littering the strewn monster carcasses, her face alight with excitement.

  Finn, however, didn’t share her exuberance. “I apologize, Tsubaki, but you’ll have to wait. Something that big will only prove a hindrance as we explore further. Perhaps on our way back?” He kindly reminded her of what should have been obvious.

  The party made their way toward the southern end of the room where Finn instructed them to take a short break.

  “Though we were forced to take separate routes, the entire party made it to the fifty-eighth floor. I’m not sure whether this is a good sign…or quite the opposite,” Riveria mused.

  Bete just snorted. “So what? It’s not like it’s our first time down here.”

  “You say that as if you weren’t gasping for breath about five minutes ago,” Tiona sarcastically replied.

  “Pretty sure that was you!”

  Lefiya, Raul, and the other supporters let out a chuckle as the duo went off on each other as usual. A relaxed atmosphere had settled over the party.

  They drank leisurely from potions and magic potions. Aiz finished off the last of her block-shaped rations from Lulune. And Tsubaki whipped out her smithing tools to perform emergency maintenance on the adventurers’ weapons.

  It was a momentary respite for the group as they sat in a circle, the uncharted depths right in front of their eyes.

  “…”

  “Captain? Is something wrong?” Tiona piped up as Aiz and the others enjoyed their moment of downtime.

  The prum was standing with his back to the group, spear at the ready as he stared down the gaping darkness of that large hole to the south.

  He seemed fixated on it, gazing deep into the void that would lead them to the fifty-ninth floor.

  “According to the records left behind by Zeus Familia, the Glacial Territories await us beyond that passage…”

  “I-indeed. It’s said that glacial streams run across the land, making it hard to advance, and bitterly cold winds make it hard to even move your body…” Tione continued his thoughts.

  “W-we brought plenty of salamander wool! We had to request some from other factions, but we should have just enough for all of us, supporters included.” Raul stood up in a hurry, snatching the crimson fabric from his backpack. Salamander wool was a type of fire-element armor with cold-resistant properties.

  Finn didn’t move, his green eyes, like the surface of a lake, still fixated on the passage in front of him. Finally, he spoke.

  “If the cold is so intense it can freeze even first-tier adventurers…why can we not feel it now? Sitting here with the entrance in front of our eyes?”

  Tione and Raul shuddered in simultaneous bewilderment at Finn’s inquiry.

  It was true. They were waiting right in front of the passage that would lead them to the fifty-ninth floor, yet none of them felt even the slightest breeze of chilled air from the large hole before them.

  Listening in on their conversation, first Aiz, then the others, rose one by one with their weapons readied.

  “You sayin’ somethin’s up?” Bete mused, staring at the dark hole.

  “No idea…but I wouldn’t think Zeus Familia to be one for exaggeratin’ things,” Gareth replied as he adjusted his helmet.

  It was evident from everyone’s faces that this wasn’t something they could just ignore.

  “…”

  Just as a strange feeling of tension began to brew within the party, Aiz remembered something.

  What someone had said to her some twenty days ago up on the twenty-fourth floor.

  —“Aria, go to the fifty-ninth floor.

  —“Things are getting interesting right now. Should answer a lot of your questions.”

  That was what that redheaded non-human woman had told her.

  That there was something down there on the fifty-ninth floor.

  Something she sought.

  As she stood before the hole that led to the very depths of the earth, she unconsciously adjusted her grip on the handle of her sword.

  The crystal hanging from its chain around her loin guard gave off a faint glow, almost as though humming to life.

  “Wh-what do you think we should do, Captain?”

  “…The salamander wool should prove fine. We leave in three minutes.” Finn gave his thumb a little lick. His gaze was still sharp as he took in the tunnel before them.

  The rest of the party quickly finished up their preparations, bringing their moment of rest to a close. Then, equipped with their weapons and reestablishing their formation, they approached the giant hole.

  “Strange. It’s not cold at all…” Tiona observed as Raul and the other supporters lit their portable magic-stone lanterns to ward off the enveloping darkness.

  “…In fact, I would almost say it is…muggy,” Lefiya finished her sentence, the inklings of sweat dotting their skin.

  None of them knew what to say about this
unexpected humidity, and a vague apprehension shushed the group. They continued down the long, long staircase to the floor below, senses keen to even the slightest noise.

  Clink, clink.

  Their footsteps echoed throughout the stairwell.

  Farther and farther they descended into the darkness.

  Toward a light at the end of the tunnel.

  “Finn, this is…” Riveria began.

  Finn nodded at the voice of the high elf from behind him. “Indeed. From here on out, we enter a land that no one, not even the gods themselves, have witnessed—the unknown.”

  And with that, they reached the light.

  Descending the last stair, the group stepped out onto the fifty-ninth floor and into the unknown depths.

  “”

  They found themselves at a loss for words as they took in the scene before them.

  There were no glacial streams.

  No soaring mountains of ice. No frozen rivers of blue.

  No. Reflected in their eyes were masses upon masses of the strangest plants and vegetation they’d ever seen, a landscape altogether divergent from the floors above.

  “A…jungle?” Tione gazed around at her surroundings in wonderment, still gripping her Kukri knives.

  This room, even bigger than the fifty-eighth floor above their heads, overflowed with green trees and vines. Immediately in front of them was a forest of soaring trees. At their feet were a lush green bed of grass and trembling rings of richly colored, poisonous-looking flowers. It was an enclosed room with four far-off greenish walls towering high, and all shapes and sizes of flower buds dangled from the greenery.

  “Is this like the…twenty-fourth floor…?” Lefiya murmured, her voice trembling as she hugged her staff to her chest.

  Even Bete narrowed his eyes as he looked out across the spectacle. The sight closely resembled the pantry on the twenty-fourth floor after it had been taken over by violas and become a plant.

  Aiz was quiet as she gazed across the landscape. Meanwhile, Raul raised his gaze from among the flustered supporters.

  “Do you…hear that?”

  A strange noise was coming from the floor’s center.

  It sounded like something chewing. A crumbling noise followed by an occasional high-pitched, trembling voice.