HeartLess

by Love, Kristy

  “You’re not playing fair,” she grumbled, glaring at me. Her beautiful breasts moved up and down with her frustrated breaths. I couldn’t keep my eyes off them, already missing the way they filled my mouth.

  “I never said I’d play fair.”

  In true Bianca fashion, she climbed on top of me, her body fitting against mine in all the perfect places. It was clearly her turn to torture me. She started by kissing over my jaw down to my neck. “Did I ever tell you that I love when you don’t shave for a couple days?”

  “You never mentioned it.”

  “I do. It makes you look even sexier. I love the way it scrapes against my skin when you kiss me.”

  I groaned. Confident Bianca was definitely sexy as hell. She moved down, dragging her body along mine in the most tantalizing way, pressing openmouthed kisses along my chest. Her tongue poked out and traced the line of one of my tattoos. “I also love your tattoos,” she hummed against my skin, and my eyes fell closed. Her finger moved around the edges of the guitar pick that hung around my neck. “I can’t believe you kept it all these years.” Her voice was quiet and full of awe.

  Opening my eyes, I lifted my head as I cupped her cheek. “It was always my connection to you. Even though we weren’t speaking, I felt like you were with me as long as I had it.”

  She smiled sweetly, dropping her eyes back down to my chest. Her hand moved to the bee tattoo over my heart, again tracing around the lines. I shivered at the contact. “You have a bee tattoo.”

  “It was actually my first tattoo. I turned eighteen and found a tattoo shop in Utah.”

  Her eyes flew to mine as she flattened her hand against me like she could hold the tattoo to my skin. “It was your first?”

  I nodded, covering her hand with my own. “You’re my first everything. It was only fitting that my first tattoo should be dedicated to you.”

  She smiled again, though her lips trembled slightly. She turned her head to the side as she tried to hide the fact that tears filled her eyes. “I didn’t believe it,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “I thought you got out there and forgot all about me. You were surrounded by models, singers, actresses.” Neither of us commented on the fact that I’d been with an actress. That fact didn’t matter—not anymore. “It was easier to be mad at you when I thought you didn’t remember.”

  I sat up, taking her in my arms. “I never, not for a single second, forgot you, Bianca. You were always with me, even if the distance between us was thousands of miles.”

  “I was enough for you?” she asked, her voice so vulnerable. She couldn’t meet my eyes, keeping them on the guitar pick. I tipped her head back, so she had to look at me.

  “Always. You were the only one I wanted, Bee. Everyone else, everything else, was a distraction. A weak, insignificant distraction.” A tear slipped free, and I caught it with my thumb. “I never wanted to make you feel like you weren’t enough when it was me. I wasn’t good enough for you. I’m not even sure if I’m good enough now. If you’ll let me, I’ll try to be. I’ll always be here. No more running, no more distance. You’re all I want.”

  She crashed our lips together, her kisses greedy. I kissed her back the way I always wanted to, desperate for more. I wanted everything from her—with her. I fell backward on the bed, taking her with me. Again, she moved her mouth over my jaw, down over my neck. I groaned with how hot her kisses were on my skin. She licked and kissed her way down my chest, over my abs, until she reached the waistband of my jeans. Her eyes flicked up to mine briefly before she unbuttoned my jeans. When my dick popped free, she took it in her hand, stroking it slowly, lazily.

  And fuck, if that wasn’t the best feeling in the world. I closed my eyes, soaking in the feel of her smooth hand wrapped around me. It was something I’d thought of frequently. I envisioned how it would feel for her to touch me and, as usual, my imagination wasn’t anything compared to the reality of it. Her movements weren’t hurried, more exploratory. If she sped up her movements at all, this evening would end really quickly, and that wasn’t what I wanted at all. This needed to last for a lot longer.

  Then her warm, wet lips wrapped around me and a strangled noise came from my throat. My hands flew to her hair as I looked down at her. Her deep brown eyes looked up at me as she took more of me in her mouth. I should tell her to stop, should pull her up so I can regain some of my control, but I couldn’t. The way she looked up at me, the way she swirled her tongue around me, it sucked the breath from my lungs and kicked my need for her into overdrive.

  Her mouth was much like her hand, movements slow and lazy. She tasted me, savoring me, and there wasn’t a damn thing about it I’d change. Her tongue flattened against me, and she hummed, her eyes dropping closed as her hand squeezed tighter at the base. I needed to stop this—I had to.

  “Bee,” I gasped. “Stop. Please.”

  She slid me slowly from her mouth with a sexy, sultry grin and climbed back up my body, kissing me feverishly. “I forgot how good you tasted.”

  And again, I groaned. She was such delicious, sweet torture, but I’d had enough. I needed to feel her.

  I stood us both up, quickly yanking my clothes off before sliding her skirt and panties down her thighs. As she stood in front of me, her soft curves and full breasts, I had to have her. There was no alternative. She reached forward, resting her hand on my chest again, slowing us back down. There was something in her eyes, some kind of emotion playing that I wanted to understand.

  “I love you, Nash,” she said, answering my unspoken question.

  “I love you, Bee.” I kissed her and then slapped her ass. She yelped and laughed, crawling on the bed.

  Just as I was about to join her on the bed, a horrible thought occurred to me. I didn’t have any condoms. I hadn’t needed them for months since Viv had been away. Not only that, as soon as I saw Bianca, sleeping with Viv had been the farthest thing from my mind. “Fuck.”

  “That’s the idea,” she said dryly. “What are you waiting for?”

  “I don’t have any condoms.”

  She burst out laughing, clutching her stomach with the force of it. “Is that always destined to be our luck? To never have condoms?”

  “I guess.” I didn’t find the situation funny. It was pretty fucking dire, as far as I was concerned.

  “As usual, check my purse. I dropped it by the couch.” I practically ran into the other room and dumped her purse out. I knew she’d be mad at me later, but I was a desperate man. When I located the two condoms, I strode quickly back to the bed. We’d need more than two, but this was enough for right now.

  Rolling it on, I fell on top of her again and guided myself against her, nudging forward just a little bit. The head of my dick was enveloped in her warmth. I paused, watching the renewed flush spread across her cheeks. She thrust her hips up, pushing me the rest of the way in. Both of us groaned, loud and pained.

  With that, all my control went out the window. I thrust into her, the walls of her pussy contracting already, though I knew she wasn’t close. She moved her hips, matching my movements. She raked her nails down my back, the slight pain of it grounding me in the moment, making sure I knew it was real. This was happening. I was inside Bianca, deep inside. Her moans filled my ears, her scent overpowered me, her body the best damned thing I’d ever felt.

  “Yes,” she groaned, pulling my face down to hers to kiss me.

  All these years I’d fought for this redemption, and she was giving it up to me willingly. The broken pieces of my soul were mending back together with each movement of my hips. Each gasped breath from Bianca fixed the hole in my heart. She was inserting herself back into my body, into my soul me, and I was relieved. I didn’t feel that aching loneliness and emptiness anymore. She was repairing, healing me, redeeming me.

  Her pants grew more desperate. I slid my hand down her, making sure to brush against her nipples, then touched where we joined, making circular motions. She cried out, shattering around me, clawing at me. I neve
r slowed my movements, though I watched every twitch of her face, the way her eyes opened wide before sliding shut. Her convulsing around me pulled me to my own release, and I groaned, dropping my forehead down to her shoulder.

  We laid there, our hearts slowing, our breathing returning to normal. I didn’t pull myself from her body, not ready to leave the tight grip of her yet. Though, eventually, I had to. I rolled to my side and pulled her back against my front, feeling her softness against every hard plane of my body.

  “This means you’re mine. There’s no getting away from me now. You’ve ruined me.” I nuzzled my face into her neck, inhaling her scent which was now mixed with the salty smell of sex.

  Her fingers traced circles on my arm. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

  Chapter 27

  Bianca

  I woke up with Nash wrapped around me. His arm was around my middle, holding me to him even in his sleep. I sighed and closed my eyes, loving the feeling of being with him again. Last night had been an emotional roller coaster, but it was the best possible ride. I felt like a million pounds had been lifted off my chest and I was happy. Actually, happy wasn’t a strong enough word. I was overjoyed, ecstatic, delighted. For the first time since Nash left to go on tour, my world felt right. A sense of peace and contentment settled over me, making me drowsy again.

  I turned over enough to see Nash’s face, which was relaxed in slumber. Before I could stop myself, I traced a finger lightly over his skin, relishing in the fact that I could touch him, that he was here with me—and he was mine. I smiled and snuggled closer, never wanting to leave the warm cocoon of the bed. The outside world be damned. I was staying here with him as long as I possibly could.

  Hearing his words last night, I understood why he’d done what he did. If I’d thought there was still a chance he loved me, I wouldn’t have given up. I would have continued to wait for him, to wait for some scrap of him. What he’d said was hurtful and potentially stupid, but it made sense. A part of my heart healed when he told me I’d always been enough for him. Even when he kissed me and touched me, that old insecurity had played in the back of my mind.

  How could he find me sexy after being with someone like Vivienne? I definitely had more boobs and hips than she did, but she was glamorous in a way I’d never be able to achieve. She didn’t pack on the little bit of extra weight I did, nor was she as tall as me. I was still a few inches shorter than Nash, but she was barely five feet. She was dainty and feminine in a way that I never would be. It was a relief to hear Nash still found me sexy, especially after being with someone like her.

  I was dozing off again when my phone rang. I slipped out of bed, still completely naked, and rushed into the other room. I chuckled when I saw the way my purse’s contents were strewn everywhere. I couldn’t even be mad at Nash. I’d been just as desperate and needy as he’d been. I saw it was Peyton, no doubt wondering where I’d gone after leaving my parents’ house.

  Me: Stayed at Nash’s hotel room last night. Long story. Will talk about it later. Everything is SO GOOD. Enjoy your weekend! Love you

  And I shut my phone off. I didn’t want the outside world to intrude on our reunion. I didn’t want my parents or Peyton or work to interfere with my time. I’d have to figure out how to placate Nadine, but if Nash and Vivienne split on their own terms, my job wasn’t in jeopardy. She’d chalk it up to Hollywood being Hollywood. She wouldn’t be happy, but I played no part in that. If she caught wind of me hooking up with Nash, there’d be hell to pay. I’d just have to keep it quiet for a while. That should be easy enough to do.

  I went to the bathroom, then checked myself in the mirror. My cheeks were still flushed, my lips were swollen, brush burn along one side of my chin and across my chest. My hair was wild. I smiled, loving this look. My eyes were clearer, and I felt lighter. Nash was a good look on me.

  I went back to bed, curling up with Nash. He hummed and pulled me tight against him again. “I was afraid you were gone,” he grumbled, his voice rough with sleep. “I didn’t want to open my eyes if you weren’t here. Afraid it was all a dream.”

  “It’s not a dream. I’m here.” I touched his brow and his eyelids. Really, I just wanted to feel as much of him as I could. My chest felt like it was going to explode with the love I felt, the happiness filling it.

  One of his eyes opened, and he smiled, dimple and all. “I didn’t think it was a dream because I still smelled you on the sheets, but I wasn’t totally convinced. I thought maybe my imagination was working overtime.”

  I kissed him. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

  His phone ringing tore through the moment, shattering the sweetness of it. He got out of bed and scrambled for his phone. “It’s Bryant, my manager. I’ll call him back later.”

  “Peyton called earlier. I turned my phone off.”

  A grin curved his lips. “Amazing idea, Bee.” He turned his off and crawled back into bed. “What do you want to do today?”

  “Be with you. We have a lot of time to catch up on.”

  “God, do we.” He kissed me, taking it deep and sensual. My blood heated, and desire pooled between my legs. I needed him again. I’d need him always. He reached back and grabbed the last condom and rolled it on, then threw my leg over his hip. “I hope you’re ready for me.”

  “Always,” I breathed, then he was sliding inside of me. I gasped. It wasn’t as slow as the night before. He still stroked me, played with my breasts, and touched me, but he was a man on a mission. He nipped at my ear and licked along the curve of my neck.

  “I’m going to wear you out this weekend.”

  “Not if I wear you out first.”

  He chuckled and thrust quickly, going deep. I gasped. “Is that a challenge, Bee?”

  I nodded. He rolled me over on my back and fucked me. This wasn’t the tender, slow lovemaking of the night before; this was desperate fucking. I clawed at him, gripping him tighter. I pressed my heels into his ass, urging him to go deeper, harder. We both came on long, loud moans, then kissed as we floated down from our highs.

  After he’d disposed of the condom and climbed back into bed, he held me, tracing his fingers along my side, his eyes following the movement. Shivers and goose bumps raced along my skin, my body already heating again. He hadn’t done more than lightly touch me, and I was ready for him again. I’d gone months without sex before, sometimes even a year or so, and I’d been fine. With Nash, I felt like I’d never get enough. I needed him again and again. My desire was never sated, my body always anxious for more.

  His lips and tongue traced along my naked body. It wasn’t necessarily ramping up for anything, it felt more like he was savoring me, getting reacquainted with all the different parts of me.

  “We have a problem,” he said, kissing my shoulder.

  “What’s that?”

  “That’s our last condom, and that will definitely not be the last time I’m inside you this weekend.” He nipped at the soft flesh of my nipple.

  “I have an IUD, and I’ve never had sex without a condom.” I ran my fingernails along his scalp.

  “Me either. I always used protection. With everyone.” He pressed his lips together, clearly not wanting to have this conversation. “Even with Viv.”

  “Then I think we’re good to go without it, don’t you?” I didn’t have to wait for an answer. Even though he’d finished just moments before, he was hard and ready for more. He rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him.

  “Ride me, Bee. Take what you want.”

  His words, so suggestive and dirty, spurred me on, and I did.

  We didn’t move from the bed for at least two more hours. Every time we’d come down, our touches and caresses would ramp us back up. It was a never-ending cycle that I was fine to stay on forever.

  Unfortunately, my stomach had a different idea. It grumbled loudly, and Nash laughed. “Hungry?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m not ready to leave this room yet. Let�
�s order room service.” After we picked what we wanted, Nash called down and placed the order.

  “I’m going to get a shower,” I said, feeling sticky and sweaty. Hours of sex would do that to a person, plus my muscles were sore, and I ached in places I didn’t know it was possible to ache. It was the most luxurious feeling I’d ever had.

  “I think I’ll join you.”

  We both went to the bathroom, where a shower turned into more sex. It seemed we were making up for lost time and wasting no time doing it.

  * * *

  Later that night, we sat on the bed, me in front of Nash. His legs surrounded my body, and his arms held me tightly to his chest. He was always holding me as though he was afraid I’d slip away. We were watching The Breakfast Club on TV.

  “Who do you think you’d be in that group?” Nash asked.

  I tossed some popcorn into my mouth. It was amazing what you could order from room service in this hotel. We’d had burgers for lunch and then steaks for dinner. We continued to work up an astonishing appetite. Nash had ordered popcorn and wine, plus some beer for him, not too long ago. “I’m not sure. I’m definitely not the princess, and I don’t think I was the basket case either.”

  He brushed my hair to the side and was touching my neck. “You would have been the brainiac control freak.” He chuckled, his breath tickling my ear.

  “Hey.” I pushed his hand away. “I wasn’t that big of a control freak.”

  “You handed me color coded schedules every week. Each class had its own color, plus band practice, plus other shit I had to do. You made one for yourself, Peyton, and Felix. You absolutely were a control freak.”

  I pursed my lips, disappointed in how right he was. “You’re right. Who would you have been?”

  “Hmm,” he hummed as he thought. “I’m not sure. I don’t really fit any of them. I got along with pretty much everyone, but I wasn’t one of the popular guys. I definitely wasn’t a jock or a brainiac.”