We pushed through the door to our homeroom and she tossed her books onto a desk in the back. “Well, yeah, but who would I ask? Everybody’s already got a date. I can’t believe this is happenin’ to me!” she whined, plopping down in her seat.
“It’ll be okay, Val. You’ll find somebody great to go with, and we’ll all have an awesome time! Don’t stress. I’ll help you think of somethin’. I promise.”
“You’re so lucky to have Rex. You get to go to prom with a hot college guy.”
“He’s not actually a college guy,” I said, trying to make her feel better. Rex had already graduated high school, but he was taking a year off to decide what he wanted to do with his life.
Valerie rolled her eyes. “Close enough.” The history teacher entered the room then and our conversation was cut short. We took out our books and half-listened as Mr. Brock dove into to a lecture on the role of secret agents during WWII.
After a long day of learning about wars, chloroplasts, narcissistic personality disorder, and a bunch of other stuff that would supposedly be helpful to my future, I met Valerie and Kayla by the lockers. I grabbed the books I would need for homework and shoved the rest into my locker. When the others had done the same, we headed out to the student parking lot.
“Cora!”
I turned slowly, my stomach in knots. The voice was a little too familiar.
Jeff stood a few feet back from us, his body twisted halfway around like he was ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.
“What do you want?” I spat. It was the first time we’d spoken to each other since the mortifying incident in the cafeteria. I’d wondered how I would react to him if given the chance. Now I knew.
“Um, I was wonderin’ if we could talk in private.” He seemed nervous. I’d never seen him so uneasy.
“Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of Valerie and Kayla. You should know that.”
His shoulders sagged. “Please, Cora? This would be a lot easier for me if we were alone.”
“And why should I make this easier for you? You sure haven’t made things easy for me,” I retorted, rolling my eyes.
He looked at the ground. When his eyes met mine again, they were full of something unrecognizable—regret, maybe? “I know. That’s what I wanna talk to you about.”
“Oh,” I said, stumped. Was he attempting to apologize?
“Yeah, so…” he trailed off as if waiting for me to make the next move.
“Um, okay…go ahead and talk, then,” I finally stammered.
Valerie jumped in before Jeff could start his speech. “Kay, let’s give these two some privacy,” she said.
“Right,” Kayla answered, following Val to her car.
As I watched them walk away, I noticed that the sky, which had been bright blue not more than ten minutes ago, was suddenly hazy. A huge, dark cloud hovered above us. It felt strangely ominous, perhaps because it was reminiscent of the weather on the day I’d caught Jeff and Lacy together. Ironic.
“Listen, Cora, I…well, I don’t even know where to start,” Jeff huffed and sat down, leaning against a tree. He patted the spot next to him. “Sit with me.”
I hesitated. He was being too friendly now. Apparently, the girls’ leaving had relaxed him. I took a deep breath and carefully sat on the soft grass that separated the rows of parking spots, leaving a foot of space between us.
“Maybe you should start with why you’re all of a sudden so interested in talkin’ to me,” I suggested.
“I wanna apologize. What I did to you was wrong and I never meant for you to get hurt.”
“Ha. Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you sucked face with Lacy.”
Jeff didn’t respond right away. We were silent for a long time, the wind growing stronger with each passing second. A storm was definitely brewing.
“I know I shouldn’t have done what I did. Trust me, I know. And I didn’t mean for it to happen. She wouldn’t give up. Kept on throwin’ herself at me, flirtin’ with me ‘til I finally gave in. What was I supposed to do? I’m human.”
“You’re human? That’s your excuse?” I jumped to my feet. “Ugh, you make me sick, Jeffrey Colton!”
He stood, too, taking a step toward me. “That didn’t come out right. What I meant was I’m human and I make mistakes, and I made a huge mistake with you. I messed up what we had…and for no good reason. I don’t even care about her.”
I gaped wide-eyed at him. “You don’t care about her? I’m sorry, that seems a little odd since you two are engaged.”
He shook his head. “That’s what I’m tryin’ to tell you. We’re not engaged. It’s a rumor Lacy started after I dumped her. I don’t know if she was tryin’ to get back at me or get me back. Either way, we’re not engaged. We’re not even together.”
I reached for the nearest tree to steady myself. I could feel the shock frozen on my face. He’s not engaged. He’s not engaged. No matter how many times I thought it, I couldn’t bring myself to believe it. All the tears I’d wasted and the sleepless nights I’d spent because of their “engagement” were in vain.
“You’re not…together?” I whispered.
Jeff stepped forward, closing the gap between us, and took my hand. “No, we’re not. I don’t love her.” He paused, brushing his free hand across my cheek. “I love you, Cora.”
I took a step back and pulled my hand out of his hold. I couldn’t believe my ears. “Jeff, I don’t know what to say. I—”
“Say you still love me too, baby.”
Closing my eyes, I rubbed my temples. This was all too much. “I’m sorry, Jeff. I can’t do that.”
He pulled my hand down and looked deeply into my eyes. “You don’t feel nothin’ at all for me anymore?”
I pondered his question carefully before responding. I searched my head and my heart and found nothing. The only thing I felt was surprise at his confession. I wasn’t giddy. There were no butterflies in my stomach, no excitement, not even relief that he’d come to his sense. My pulse didn’t quicken, and I didn’t feel flustered the way I used to when he gazed into my eyes. I couldn’t believe it. I was completely over Jeff! I almost laughed out loud with that realization.
“No, I don’t,” I said. “I really don’t. I mean, I’ve always wondered what would happen if I got a second chance with you. I used to dream about this very moment—I wished for it every day, Jeff. But now…” I shook my head.
His face crumpled. He actually looked a little pathetic, his usual arrogant attitude completely gone. “Really? After all that time we were together, now you’re over me? Just like that?”
“I really am sorry,” I said softly. “But what you did…well, you hurt me pretty bad. It took a long time for me to get over it, to get over you. But I finally have. Besides, even if I did have feelings for you, I don’t think it’d be a good idea for us to date again. I’d have a hard time trustin’ you, and trust is the most important thing in a relationship.”
He closed his eyes briefly. “I guess I get that. Man, I really screwed up.”
“Yeah. But listen…thanks for apologizing.”
He snorted. “Sure.”
“No, seriously. I think we both needed this closure. And it took a lot of courage for you to admit all this to me. So, thank you.”
“I just didn’t want us to graduate without you ever knowin’ the truth.”
I smiled sympathetically. “Well, I’m glad you told me. I’ll see ya around.” I reached up to peck him on the cheek, and he wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me into a hug. I allowed myself to hug him back for a minute, inhaling the scent of his cologne for what I assumed would be the last time ever.
“I won’t give up, Cora. I know somewhere deep down, there’s still somethin’ there for me.”
“Jeff, no. Don’t do that to yourself.”
“Don’t worry about me.” With that, he released his hold on me and spun around. I watched as he walked away.
There was a strange feel
ing in the pit of my stomach. For some reason I couldn’t grasp, I felt uneasy.
Chapter Eleven
The week flew by. Before I realized it, prom stared me right in the face. I should have been excited, elated. I finally had closure with Jeff, and Rex would accompany me to the biggest night of my life. But through all the planning and all the anticipation, I couldn’t escape the nagging feeling that something was wrong or that I was missing something important. Most of the time I brushed this feeling off, convincing myself it was just nerves. But the night before prom, I was forced to face what I’d been avoiding.
We were sitting down to dinner when Mama took me by surprise. “So, have you talked to Landon lately?” she asked completely out of the blue.
“Um…no. Why do you ask?” I twirled my fork around in the spaghetti in front of me, dodging her gaze.
“Well, I know you two had a bit of a fallin’ out at our party a while back, and I haven’t heard you mention him. You haven’t seen him outside of school since then?” She tried to sound nonchalant, but I could tell there was a motive to her questioning.
“No, I haven’t. It’s kinda hard since I’m datin’ Rex. I can’t exactly drop him to go hang out with a buddy.”
“I see,” she replied. Her forehead crinkled slightly, and I knew there was something she wanted to say.
“What is it, Mama?” I huffed, waiting for the lecture.
“I ran into his mother today.”
“That’s nice. How is she?”
“She’s fine, but she says Landon’s not doin’ very well. That he misses you. He’s really hurtin’ right now, Cora, and I think you should talk to him.”
The fork I held slipped through my fingers and clattered noisily onto my plate. “I have talked to him, Mama. He won’t listen to anything I say. He’s just…he’s…stubborn.” My face flushed. I didn’t want to have this conversation with her, especially not in front of my father.
“What are you two women jabberin’ about? Is there something goin’ on with you and Landon?” Daddy asked. He didn’t know anything about the situation.
“No, Daddy. There’s nothing goin’ on. He’s just confused.”
Mama chimed in. “Now, Cora, don’t dismiss this so easily. He’s havin’ a real hard time, and it’s because of you, at least partly. Even if you didn’t hurt him on purpose, you did hurt him. That’s somethin’ you need to own up to. Do the responsible thing, sweetie. Talk to him and make it right.”
I pushed away from the table, scraping my chair against the wooden floor. “I can’t make it right, Mama. I’ve tried…believe me, I’ve tried. There’s no reasonin’ with him. What do you want from me?” I stood up and tossed my napkin down. “I’m sorry, but I’ve suddenly lost my appetite. Excuse me.” I stormed out of the dining room and stomped up the steps and into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.
I lay down on the bed, thinking about Landon “not doing very well.” The longer I stayed that way—not moving and drowning in self-pity—the worse I felt about my temper tantrum. Slowly, the realization hit that it wasn’t my mother I was angry with. It was me.
“Ugh,” I groaned. Now I had to apologize to my parents. If not, I’d be guilt-ridden for days.
Jogging downstairs, I sucked in a deep breath for courage. Admitting faults was never easy for me. Unfortunately, it was something I’d become accustomed to lately.
My parents were watching the nightly news when I entered the family room. “Mama, Daddy…” I hesitated.
“What is it, Cora?” my father asked without taking his eyes off the television.
They weren’t going to make this easy for me. “I just wanna apologize for the way I acted earlier,” I said quickly.
Daddy looked at me then. “Well, good,” he said. “Cuz that kind of behavior’s not very ladylike. And I know your mama and I raised you to be a lady, now didn’t we?”
“Yes, sir.” It wasn’t the only time I’d heard this speech.
“All right, then. Now I think you should apologize directly to your mother.”
Mama glanced my way for the first time since the conversation had started. Characteristically, she let Daddy take care of punishment or lectures if he was home.
“Sorry I lost my temper, Mama,” I mumbled.
She smiled sympathetically. “It’s okay, sweetie. I was your age once, you know.”
I smiled in return as she gave me one of those all-knowing looks. My smile was only skin-deep, though. Despite the apology, I still felt sick with guilt. And it had absolutely nothing to do with my parents.
* * *
Saturday morning—prom morning—dawned gray and dreary. The menacing sky sent a shiver down my spine as I gazed out the window. I prayed the rain would hold off at least until we got to the prom.
Shaking off the eerie sensation, I picked up my cell and called Valerie. She, Kayla, and I planned on getting our nails and hair done together.
“Hey! Can you believe it’s the day of our senior prom? It’s actually here. I’m so excited I couldn’t even sleep last night!” Val gushed when she answered my call.
Her enthusiasm was contagious, and despite the gray sky and threatening clouds, I squealed in excitement. “I know! I can’t believe this is really the day!”
She giggled. “I’m so glad I found a date!”
I’d finally convinced her, after much persuading, to ask somebody to go with her instead of waiting to be asked. To my surprise, she’d decided on Mike—as in Lacy’s ex-boyfriend, Mike.
“He just seems like a fun date. And I know he doesn’t have anybody to go with since he’d always planned on takin’ Lacy,” she’d explained when I had questioned her choice. Her answer had pacified me, so I’d dropped the subject.
“Cora?” Val interrupted my thoughts.
“What? Oh, sorry. Yeah, we’ll meet at the salon at eleven. That should give us plenty of time. I’ll call Kayla.”
“Cool. See ya then!”
After I called Kayla to confirm the time with her, I took a quick shower and threw on some jeans and a button-up shirt—so as not to mess up my hair once it was done—and headed down the stairs. I didn’t make it out the door before Mama stopped me.
“Oh, Cora! Pause for a picture, sweetie! I can’t believe you’re goin’ to prom tonight! Your senior prom…Oh, honey you’re growin’ up so fast!” she cried.
I moaned. “Mama, no pictures yet, please! I don’t even have my face on.” She ignored my request, clicking picture after picture while I walked through the house. She even took pictures as I got into my car. This was going to be a long day.
“Have fun! I’ll see you when you get back!” she called after me.
Fifteen minutes later, I was outside the salon with Kayla and Valerie. As soon as we walked in, we were directed to three adjacent chairs to have our hair styled. I chose to wear mine half-down with curls, Kayla decided to wear hers in a classic up do, and Val picked a stylish side pony. When our hair was done, we sat and gossiped while getting our mani-pedis.
After a couple of hours, my friends and I headed back to my house to finish getting ready. Our dates would meet us there at five o’clock for pictures. Since there was a gazebo outside and my mother took such pride in her gardening, our yard made a beautiful backdrop. At six o’clock, the limo would pick us up and take us to dinner at Manhattan’s, which was the nicest restaurant in town, and then we’d head to our high school’s gym for the prom.
That was the plan. Of course, nothing ever goes exactly as planned.
“You look beautiful,” Rex said when I entered the family room at five o’clock on the dot. The other girls followed right behind me, and Troy stood waiting with Rex. All the parents were there too, standing around chatting about how quickly their kids had grown up.
I blushed. “Thanks.”
He walked over and kissed me lightly on the cheek. “Oops, hope I didn’t mess up your face,” he said, realizing his possible mistake.
“No, you’re fine,” I sa
id, ducking my head. It felt strange having him show affection in front of my parents.
“Um…where’s Mike?” Val asked, frowning.
Troy forced his eyes off Kayla for the first time since she’d entered the room. “Don’t worry, I just talked to him. He’s on his way.”
Val exhaled. “Whew, I was startin’ to think he was gonna stand me up.”
As if on cue, there was a knock on the front door. My mother went to answer it, and a few minutes later, Mike sauntered into the family room. “Hey, y’all, sorry I’m late. Whoa, you girls look awesome,” he said with a grin. Mike always said whatever was on his mind. It was part of the reason we all liked him so much.
“Thanks,” we replied in unison.
I glanced around the crowded room. Excitement filled the air. I could almost feel the anticipation. Some of the moms were starting to tear up, blotting their eyes before any makeup smeared. The dads puffed their chests out with pride as they compared the accomplishments of their kids.
“Excuse me, everybody,” I called above the chatter. “We should probably start pictures now that we’re all here.”
Mama grabbed her camera and raised one hand. “Okay, y’all follow me out to the garden!” For the next half hour, the six of us smiled and posed as our parents took pictures, rearranged us, and took more pictures. I thought my cheeks would fall off by the time we finished.
“My face is numb,” Kayla whispered as we made our way back inside.
“I know. Thank goodness that’s over!” Val agreed.
“Hey, y’all,” I interrupted. “It’s a few minutes after six and the limo’s not here yet. Should we be worried?” There was really no point for me to ask that question. I was already worried.
“I’m sure it’s fine, beautiful,” Rex said. “We’ll give him a few more minutes. It’s only five after. We have plenty of time.”
“Yeah,” Mike chimed in. “Our reservation at the restaurant’s not ‘til 6:30, and it only takes a few minutes to get there.”
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