The Bright Side of Going Dark

by Kelly Harms

  “He’s going to tell you to stop calling the house to apologize,” she says. I freeze up. Did I go too far with that last When Harry Met Sally impersonation? “And then he’s going to see if you want to go to the Dillon fireworks with him.”

  “Really?” I ask, flooding with relief and happiness. I want to go to the fireworks with him very much, but I bet he knows that already.

  “Yeah,” she says. I watch him coming up the drive, his floppy hair, his relaxed walk, and his lips pursed in a whistle, all as warm and appealing as I remembered. “He says he likes where your head’s at these days. I’m not really sure what that was supposed to mean.”

  “Azalea?” I ask as Ophie wriggles out of my grasp to go to the door; she senses a visitor, and visitors are always good news. Her entire hindquarters begin to shake. Finally the wag reaches her tail, and the whiplike curl starts flapping side to side, knocking into the leg of Mom’s altar, where I’m embarrassed to remember she and I put a snapshot of Dewey in a wine-fueled moment of silly fun.

  “Yes?” says the girl on the phone. I imagine her there on her landline, standing in a kitchen looking out on a passel of chickens, and all at once I cannot wait to see her again.

  “I’m going to say yes to the fireworks,” I say. I watch Dewey turn up to the porch, run a hand through his unruly hair. Tucker was absolutely right. He’s not social media–boyfriend material. He’s much too good for that.

  “You are?” she asks excitedly. “Does that mean you’ll come visit us again?”

  “I was thinking, actually, about coming to visit just you. Have you gotten your school supply list yet?”

  A knock comes at the door. It’s Dewey. Here to see me. Ready to forgive and move on and maybe even do this thing for real. I move away from the receiver and lean toward the open window. “Just a minute,” I call. “Talking to a good friend!”

  Azalea says, “Is he there?” and I say, “He is,” and she says, “I just got my list on Monday.”

  “Would you like to go back-to-school shopping with me? We could go to lunch, too, girls only.”

  There’s the tiniest moment of silence on the phone, and then she says, “Can we go clothes shopping? Dad is terrible at that.”

  Another knock comes at the door. Bananas is going, well, bananas. Renaldo is basically trying to retreat to the top of my head.

  “I would love that, and in the meantime, could you do me a huge favor?” I ask.

  “Yeah, sure!” she replies.

  “Can you come play with the puppies for me, if you’re not too busy? They might be lonely while your dad and I are at the lake.”

  “I’m coming right now!” she cries. “Tell Bananas I got him a new tennis ball!” The phone goes dead.

  I grin. The smile comes from deep within me, like Ophie’s wag, unstoppable, working its way up from my gut to my heart to my eyes. I walk to the front door, and with a quick flick of my free wrist, I slip the photo of Dewey behind a stack of tarot.

  Then I breathe it all in. There are things you know you want in your life, that you know are good and right and true the moment you realize they exist. Things that you can only miss if you’re not paying attention.

  Usually, as far as I can tell, these things are dogs.

  But sometimes they’re people. People who run up mountains.

  I open the door and let one of them in.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Thanks go to my Lake Union Publishing team, starring Christopher Werner, Danielle Marshall, Jodi Warshaw, Alicia Clancy, Gabriella Dumpit, Jacqueline Smith, Hai-Yen Mura, Mikyla Bruder, Jeff Belle, Rosanna Brockley, Alexandra Levenberg, and so many others who row my books across the lake to waiting readers all over the world.

  To Holly Root, your support is why I don’t live in a cardboard box.

  To my community of writers, the Tall Poppies, thank you for all the myriad ways you lift me up in this strange business that comes along with storytelling. Also for the laughs.

  Thanks to my early brainstormers, helpers, and readers: Jennifer Sabet, Kelly O’Connor McNees, Caeli, Mandy Woods McGowan, Sara Naatz, Kris Adams, Abbie Foster Chaffee, Nancy and David Admire, Sally Harms, Roger and Kristine Harms, and Doug Harms.

  My admiration to tech thinkers like Bill and Melinda Gates (who didn’t give their kids phones till they turned fourteen), Steve Jobs, Cal Newport, and Tristan Harris, as well as to all my yoga teachers who chant mantras and quote Rumi.

  To Griffin and Chris, thank you for sharing this wired life with me. I love you both!

  To Scout, the best friend a girl could have, thank you for all the wags.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Photo © 2019 Kaia Calhoun Photography

  @Kelly.Harms is the number one bestselling author of The Overdue Life of Amy Byler and other novels, and she’s celebrating two decades working in the publishing business this year. Kelly lives in Madison, Wisconsin, with her excellent kid, her loving Irishman, and her fluffy dog. She enjoys hiking, sailing, beaching, and losing at euchre. She also loves talking to readers in person and virtually, and she can be found at www.kellyharms.com.