SEALed To Protect (Omerta Series)

by Roxy Sinclaire

  “What are you going to do?” he asked, and the feeling of concern rose in me.

  “I don’t know. I can’t move to Italy. But I do love her very much.” I looked at the TV without actually watching it.

  “So go to Italy.” He kept nudging me for encouragement.

  “I can’t. She’s so young and naïve, and she needs to have her own life experience. I’ll be fine.” I grabbed a couch cushion and held it like a teddy bear.

  My friend sat back and scoffed to himself. “What?” I finally asked when I couldn’t take the scoffing noise anymore.

  “You’re a fool,” he said, almost laughing at me.

  “How am I the fool here?” I looked straight at him.

  He let out a long breath and moved closer to me. “The way I see it, you have two options here. Go to Italy and be in love with a girl whose family’s connections over there run deep. Or, you can stay here and work for another mobster family and repeat the same thing and just be miserable. The third option is you could work at the Home Depot.” He took another sip of beer.

  I sat and thought about this. I hadn’t really thought too deeply about my options after moving off the Bianco estate. My life would continue its miserable fate if I stayed here. I had no family and my only connections were through the SEALs and the mob. I didn’t want to go back to the SEALs. I had only followed through with all that on a whim of following my best friend. And that hadn’t ended well.

  And then I thought about Madeline and what she was offering me. She was a loyal girl, young, but loyal. I had always seen the good in her, and if Mr. Bianco were still alive, he would give us his blessing.

  Madeline Bianco was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen, and I was turning down a chance for happiness with her in Italy. My mind began to race through every possible thought I could have on the subject. I had made myself sick overthinking about not being with her. And at the funeral, all I wanted to do was kiss her and comfort her. I know I did that, but she cried while we were having sex . . . while we were making love.

  I still couldn’t make up my mind, and I thought about how she was in her house right now, soon to not be her house, packing up not only her stuff, but her life. She had to sell anything that wasn’t already claimed or auctioned to support her moving to Italy. I had driven her to the post office to mail her application. She already knew she was a shoe-in. But watching her walk back to the car after it was made official that this was her plan . . . it was very grim for the both of us on the ride back. And she had to bury her parents not too long after that. I knew she hadn’t cried during the entire funeral. I knew she was crying and feeling pain because of me. I was the only for sure hope in her life, and I was turning her down.

  And if I were being honest with myself, I meant what I said. I loved her and I wanted to protect her for the rest of our lives. But I had come from a broken home and had become orphaned at a young age and didn’t make the best after high school decision for myself, now that I thought about it.

  There was no family bonding or love in my childhood. Not like what I saw with the Biancos’ home. It was the thought of getting hurt and it not working out that was pulling me away from Madeline. These were the emotions I was wrestling through with my whole being.

  “Are you okay?” my friend asked me eventually, and I told him I just needed to process everything on my own. And so, we sat in silence, drinking beers and watching the game while Madeline packed up her life.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Madeline

  That was it. I had officially packed up my life and I didn’t live in my parents’ home anymore. It didn’t even look like my parents’ home. It looked tall and dark and uninviting to me now. I no longer had a childhood home, or parents, for that matter. The only thing I had was Blake, and after I left for Italy, I wouldn’t have him anymore.

  I was supposed to hear from the school very soon whether I got in. Right now, it didn’t matter because I was determined to go to Italy and be a designer anyway. But I wanted to get there well before the semester started in case I got in. I kept checking my email repeatedly. It helped to take my mind off things.

  My mind would start to wonder about Blake. He wasn’t going to wait around for me, and I knew that. I was trying so hard to make that a comfortable reality in my mind, but the truth was that I just couldn’t. Not at the moment, at least.

  I tried to make this a comfortable reality for myself when I mailed in my application. I could tell that Blake wasn’t doing this to hurt me. He wanted the best for me, and I knew his family history. Maybe big commitments scared him? It didn’t surprise me, but I thought that our love for each other might overcome that feeling of insecurity he was feeling.

  I didn’t dare suggest long-distance. I had friends who’d tried long-distance from just a few towns away, and that was difficult for them to deal with. I didn’t want the same thing with Blake. I really loved him, and I wanted to be with him. I wasn’t going to make myself suffer heartache from such a distance.

  As soon as my application was sent and I shortly received word that I was accepted into the school after repeatedly refreshing my email a million times a day, I bought my one-way ticket and felt excitement for myself.

  I also felt really sad, and I don’t think this was a sadness I should feel, that once I got on that plane, I was losing something very important to me. I would be losing Blake, and that killed me the most. I hadn’t cried a tear for my parents at their funeral. I did cry a lot of tears for Blake when he came into that guest room and comforted me by having sex with me. I truly enjoyed it, but I knew it was all over in that moment. Maybe it would hurt less one day when I became a famous designer.

  I had so many things to settle before I left and that kept my mind busy. I had my large inheritance that my mother had so smartly put aside for me with no mob attachments, plus the large sum of money my father had left for me. Again, no mob attachments. They really cared about me.

  I had to find and secure a place to live in Italy, ship all my belongings there, and register for my classes for my first semester. Blake was a big help in guiding me through all of this. I loved my aunt, but I could only take so much of her controlling way of doing things. With Blake, I at least got kisses and cuddles as a reward for accomplishing all of my tasks.

  I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could. I stayed in the back building with him until the day I would leave the country. I had all my IDs in order, and I checked in on contacting any connections I had out there for possible work so I could pay for school myself and not rely on the money I would receive through my parents.

  Family kept stopping by to feed me and also congratulate me on getting into design school. I was very proud and excited for myself, and when I had room for another thought in my busy head, I would remember that Blake wasn’t coming with me and this made me want to cry. But I didn’t want to spend the remainder of my time with him crying about it. Instead, we kissed and cuddled, and he would lay on top of me as if to leave an impression of himself on me so that I would always remember that he was my first true love. It was nice.

  When the morning of my flight arrived, I shot up out of bed and rushed to get ready. My flight wasn’t until later in the evening, but I wanted to have enough time in the day to enjoy my last moments with Blake before we parted forever. I was on my second cup of coffee when I saw him carry out a duffle bag and a suitcase. I got excited and ran over to him. “You changed your mind?” I began to bounce up and down.

  Blake smiled at me and swooped me up into his arms and gave me a long kiss. “No, your aunt offered to let me stay with her until I figure out my next step.” And then he went in for a second kiss and I pulled away.

  “Oh, well that’s rude, getting me excited for no reason.” He looked more seriously at me and went in to kiss me again.

  I let him this time, and it turned into a kiss where he lifted me up and brought me to the bed and laid on top of me. It was nice except that I knew this meant th
e end. The reality was now setting in for me about Blake, and the more he kissed me, the sadder I began to feel.

  I was confirming my flight on my phone and checking and double-checking that I had everything ready when I needed it. I put my boarding pass and my passport in the easiest to reach pocket of my bag. I could feel every nerve in my body, and I couldn’t drink any more coffee. I tried to calm myself down and focus enough to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything.

  After more time passed by and my realization of everything really coming to an end, I almost couldn’t bear Blake’s touch. He kept trying to kiss and hug me, and I mostly had a hard time accepting it. It made me want to cry and I couldn’t start having an emotional breakdown before I got on a plane for hours. It would take away from that little piece of joy I felt because I was beginning a new life for myself, fresh from any drama, and I was free to be me there. It sounded cheesy when I worded it like this in my head, but I needed to make myself laugh right now.

  “Maddie, what’s wrong?” Blake asked when he tried to kiss me and I pulled away.

  “Nothing. I just need to focus right now,” I said, and I tried to sit down but couldn’t get comfortable, so I decided to stand and pace back and forth. Blake finally stopped trying to touch me and gave me some space.

  I knew that once I left for the airport, it would be years before I ever came through this town again. I wanted to take one last look the estate. I wanted to walk and look through every last inch of it to engrain it into my brain. I wanted to do this alone.

  I walked through the house and laughed and cried as memories came to me. I walked around the front of the estate and I walked around the back of the estate. I sat on the swing set that I remembered my parents argued about getting rid of because I was too old for a swing set to play on. I remembered it was at the dinner table and my father said, “What does a high school girl need with a swing set?” and my mother replied, “She is still my baby, you expired Italian sausage,” and I began to laugh just as I had that night at the dinner table. I had always enjoyed observing their arguments.

  They were never too serious, and they were never too dramatic. They were always over silly things because the love they had for each other was too strong to be angry at one another for too long.

  They never betrayed each other or went behind each other’s back. They always communicated with each other and supported each other. And that made me always wonder sometimes why my mother let my father be a mobster. I could never figure that out, but right then, I didn’t care, and I would ask my family these questions later when I wasn’t trying to memorize a whole estate in my head.

  When I felt I had the place memorized, I checked the time and saw that I needed to leave for the airport soon. I walked back the back building and yelled for Blake to help me with my luggage.

  We loaded the car and began to drive. I kept checking my bag nervously to make sure that I had everything I needed. I breathed loudly, and I could feel my eyes welling up and I tilted back my head. Blake saw me and tried to hold my hand to calm me down, but I snatched it away so quickly that I could’ve sworn I saw a few sparks fly.

  “What is wrong?” he asked me, exasperated. And I stopped breathing for a few seconds. Did he just ask me what was wrong? I couldn’t believe him. And he asked me what was wrong before we left.

  He knew what was wrong and he had the audacity to make me feel like the asshole right now. “Don’t talk to me, Blake,” I snapped as I turned my head to look out the window. The tears were resting on my eyelids, just threatening to fall out and down my face. They wanted to make me look weak and weepy in front of Blake and in front of an entire international airport. How dare they do that to me. I secretively wiped the tears onto my sleeve, hoping I went unnoticed.

  I wasn’t unnoticed, because Blake reached over and rubbed my shoulder. “I know why you’re upset, Maddie. I shouldn’t have asked.” He continued to rub my shoulder. And hopefully, he had his other hand on the steering wheel to keep driving us to the airport where he would abandon me. Screw him! I repeatedly shouted to myself.

  The airport was all lit up and it looked scary to me. Nothing in my life was as scary as this parting moment with Blake. I was the daughter of mobster king. A godfather in his own right. And this was the most terrifying thing I had to do, say goodbye to my first real love.

  I got all my bags out and noticed that Blake was getting out of the car too. That was odd. I pulled my bags up to check-in and pulled out my boarding pass. The woman behind the desk looked up at me and smiled. “Would you two like to check your bags this evening?”

  I gave her an odd look. What two? There was only one of me, and then I heard someone say, “Yes, and we would like a bottle of champagne ready for us in the First-Class lounge.” My eyes got wide and I turned around to see Blake with his bags and a boarding pass ready.

  “Sure thing, sir. I’ll call the lounge now.” The lady smiled and went to dial the First-Class lounge. I couldn’t believe it and I stood there frozen in front of Blake.

  “What is happening?” was all I could say. He smiled at me and put his arms around me.

  “Maddie, I love you, and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you and me together.” He smiled at me and we went in to kiss each other. I think we both shed a tear.

  The woman behind the check-in desk hung up the phone and smiled at us. She took our boarding passes as we continued to kiss. “Are you two going on your honeymoon?” We stopped to look at her.

  Blake smiled and said, “We’ll see,” and then we both laughed and kissed again. She seemed confused as she checked our bags and told us there was a bottle of champagne waiting for us in the First-Class lounge.

  We sat and just smiled at each other. “You tricked me,” I said, and I punched him lightly in the arm.

  He shook his head. “No, I just thought about it more and more. I would be sad and miserable without you.”

  I smiled and then I asked him, “Did my aunt actually offer you a place to stay?” and then he stopped smiling.

  “Yeah, she did. I should probably call her.” He pulled out his phone.

  He returned after several minutes of having to say Thank you to my aunt. She was obviously congratulating him about coming to Italy with me. She kept telling me how handsome she though Blake was and how adorable she thought we looked together and that my parents would approve of him. It started to get on my nerves, and the nerves of three of my single, and I mean very single, cousins.

  He sat back down, and I asked him about the car. He told me about how he had told his friend that he made up his mind about me and Italy and he had been waiting near the airport to take it. “He’s going to sell it for me and then send me the money once it’s sold. I feel bad because your dad gave me that car, but hey. I will need money to buy all the food for the meals I’m going to cook for you. And to pay for this champagne.” He smiled at me.

  “You cook?” He laughed. I knew he cooked. It got me through those first days of loss.

  “What about your car?” he asked, and I took a sip of champagne.

  “I sold my car too, which my father also bought me, and I learned how to drive in it. So, I sold it for all the Italian shoes I’m going to buy.” I winked at him.

  We really enjoyed each other’s company as we talked about all the stuff we were going to do. I told him about the apartment I got and how I wanted to decorate it and I was really excited about all of my classes. He looked a bit lost as he was thinking about what he would do for work there. But he got over it pretty quickly as he listened to me talk excitedly.

  We sat on the plane in First Class and talked more about what we would do first in Italy before I started school. There was enough money for him to afford not to work for a while, plus I had secured a paid internship with a local Italian designer. We were both feeling amazing and excited about the life we were about to start together.

  Epilogue

  Blake

  Italy was the most beautiful pl
ace to live. I woke up every morning to the beauty of the scenery. Maddie and I now owned a little house with a garden. Madeline had put a huge portion of her inherited money into a fund that quickly grew while she was in school and while she began starting her line.

  The money she put into her business came from her internship and working as an apprentice for local top designers. I was impressed by how well and hard she worked. I saw a work ethic in her that I had never seen when I worked for her father.

  I learned to speak the local language as well as I could. I took a few odd jobs that didn’t pay much but I enjoyed them. Madeline was always curious why I didn’t accept the jobs that were offered to me through her connections in Italy. I told her because they speak English in those offices and I really wanted to be fluent, so being around and working with people who only speak Italian is the best way to go. Another part of it was that I wanted to just feel like a normal happy person. I wanted to let go of all that pain and anguish I had held onto for so many years. I wanted to learn to enjoy my own life, as well as a life with my Maddie.

  After a while, I gave in and began taking the higher-paying job offers. Maddie was a hard worker, but she was also used to a certain lifestyle, and to be honest, I was becoming accustomed to that kind of lifestyle too. And through these higher-paying jobs in fashion, I began to find I had a real interest for fashion and then Madeline and I had so much more to talk about passionately, in Italian, of course.

  As she began to develop her line, she asked for my opinion more and more. It was almost like we were working together. And one day, she asked me if I wanted to work on the men’s side of her line. I liked the idea, and from that day on, I was in charge of the menswear line.

  I was almost fluent in Italian now, and I became a major contributor to Madeline’s menswear line. When it came time for Madeline to have a store for her women’s and men’s lines, I was the one who picked out the location and retail space. I was proving to be a natural in the fashion world. Madeline would watch me as I was very charming in meetings with the buyers and business partners and even the customers. Even though I knew my job wasn’t to sell, I was very good at it. I trained all the hired sales associates on how they should sell the clothes. This was an actual relief for Madeline, having me contribute so much to the business side, because it freed her up to be creative and she was able to produce a line for each season. When we weren’t working, we would enjoy every little thing about Italy. And we would often have regular weekend getaways to other parts of Europe. We would enjoy each other, and we would make our office mobile when needed. I really loved our little getaways. I was now understanding why people like to travel all the time. There was so much more out there that was just waiting to be discovered.