by Beck, J. L.
Laughing internally at myself, I must let a grin slip because Kennedy is looking at me funny. “What?”
“You’re just smiling, and it’s weird because you don’t normally do that.”
“Do too, just not often.”
She walks over to the side of the bed and tugs back the sheets before settling onto the mattress. It annoys me how perfect she looks there—like she was always meant to be in my bed. Guilt bleeds into my subconscious, and I push it away. Nostrils flaring, I breathe through my nose and get nothing but a whiff of her feminine scent.
“You okay? I can go home, really it’s not a big deal.”
“No, just… come here.” I pat the spot in front of me on the bed. “Lie on your back and spread your legs.”
“W-why?” Kennedy stutters as if she’s nervous but does as I ask.
Situated on her back in front of me, her legs spread wide and her eyes peering up at me with curiosity, I feel as if she’s truly at my mercy. She looks as if she’s comfortable in my presence and not so rigid. Like I could do anything I wanted to her, and she would allow it.
“I want to taste you,” I croak, giving away the effect she has on me.
She doesn’t object, so I reach for the hem of the shirt and push it up. Kennedy is unlike all the other girls I’ve done things with. She is simple, but absolutely perfect at the same time, and I didn’t realize how much I needed that in my life until now. Dipping my fingers into the sides of her panties, she lifts her butt and helps me so I can drag them down her legs.
Tossing the panties over my shoulder, I drop down to my knees while spreading her thighs wider with my hands. My gaze catches on her scars, reminding me of how fragile she is, of how we’re both suffering.
Stop. Don’t think about that right now.
Directing my gaze back to her pink pussy, I lean in and run my nose up and down between her folds. A soft gasp fills the room, and I smile, giving her little clit a flick of my tongue. Eating pussy was never high on my to-do list with others, but like all the other things, Kennedy is the exception. I don’t feel obligated to do this. I want to, need to.
Gripping onto her thighs a little tighter, I bend her legs back toward her chest, giving myself a better view. Then I start feasting. I devour every inch of her, licking, nibbling, and sucking on her perfect pussy.
Moving down to her entrance, I circle it with my tongue before dipping inside, fucking her with shallow strokes.
“Jackson,” she gasps, and her legs start to shake, but I don’t stop. Pressing a thumb to her clit, I rub gentle circles against it and tongue fuck her, enjoying every drop of arousal that coats my tongue. “I’m… oh, god…” She whimpers, pulling me closer, before trying to push me away.
Chuckling into her pussy, the sound rumbles through her, encouraging her release further.
“I… It feels so good…” Another whimper of pleasure falls from her lips, and it’s pure pleasure to my ears.
Helplessly, she tries to wiggle away from me, to close her legs, but I hold her in place until she finally explodes, her release coating my lips and dribbling down my chin.
Then I suck and lick her until I’ve cleaned every drop from her swollen pussy. Releasing her, I almost laugh at how sedated she looks. My cock is rock hard and ready to feel her lips wrapped around it, but when I reach for the waistband of my boxers, I notice Kennedy clamping up.
“I… you shouldn’t have done that. I won’t… I can’t return the favor.”
“What do you mean you can’t return the favor? You’ve never given a blow job before?” I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised, she was a virgin, after all. Maybe she hasn’t, and that’s why she’s nervous.
Then I remember how she freaked out the first time I tried to get her to blow me. Guilt gnaws on me at the thought of how I treated her then.
Her eyes skirt away from mine, and fear trickles into her features. “I…just don’t like it. It makes me sick.” The lie rolls off of her tongue, and I’m a little angry that she’s not telling me the truth about this. If she doesn’t want to do it, she can say that. There isn’t any need to lie about it.
I’m half tempted to push the subject but don’t want to ruin the night that we’ve had. This is progress even if it’s small.
“It’s fine, get under the covers so we can go to bed,” I say. My cock is cursing me out right now, and my balls will probably be blue by the morning, but it is what it is.
Kennedy doesn’t object and is under the covers in seconds. I crawl in as well and shut off the light. Rolling over, I toss an arm over her slender body and tug her back toward me. She curls into my side like a kitten, like she was made to be there.
It takes a bit for sleep to find me, but once it does, I find it’s the best night’s sleep I’ve had in months, and I wonder if it has anything to do with the blonde-haired girl sleeping beside me.
22
Kennedy
Eating lunch in the cafeteria is my least favorite thing ever, but I’m dragging today after getting up early to leave Jackson’s apartment and walk home. Placing a salad and water on my tray, I pay for my stuff and head to one of the tables away from everyone else.
I’ve just pierced a piece of lettuce with my fork and am bringing it to my lips when a cackling group of girls comes walking in. I keep my eyes trained on my food and do my best to ignore them. Crystal is leading the pack, while I don’t know her personally, I saw her that one time with Jackson in the hallway, but I’ve also heard about her. She’s considered popular here at Blackthorn.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch them get their food.
When they start walking toward my table, I consider getting up to toss my food out, but why should I have to leave. I was here first.
As if she can sense my disdain, she walks around the table and takes a seat two spots away from me. Trays slam against the table, and I stab my food like it’s a living object that I’m trying to kill.
“Oh, my god, guys, last night was amazing,” Crystal exclaims.
“Yeah? Heard you were with Jackson? Are you guys like a thing now?” One of her friends asks.
I nearly roll my eyes, a thing?
“Not officially, but I’m pretty sure he wants to be. After spending the entire time at the party with me, he left and then called me this morning to come over.” The hold I have on my fork tightens, the metal digging into my skin. I don’t want to admit the way I’m feeling right now. I don’t want to think about it, but I can’t escape it, not when it’s right in front of me.
Jackson’s words from last night ring in my ear. “I was just at a party, but I kind of got tired of the people there, so I left and came here.”
Was he really there with her hours before he was with me? And did he really call her over after I left his place? This morning? He probably did because, unlike me, she doesn’t have a problem sucking his dick. Tears prick at my eyes. Part of me doesn’t want to believe that. What we did last night was special. There is no way I imagined it all. But the insecure part of me, the fragile part of me, does believe her. He’s tried to hurt me before.
Could last night have been a game to him? A new way to hurt me? Is he building me up just to break me down again? I look down at the salad, my appetite shrinking. I can’t stomach sitting here any longer, listening to something that may or may not be true.
Just as I go to place my fork down on the tray, I look up and spot Jackson and his friend, Talon, walking into the cafeteria. Oh, great, now everyone can laugh at me together. Once they’re closer, Crystal starts to squirm in her seat as if she’s a little kid who has to pee.
“Jackson,” Crystal purrs, as they approach the table, and acid bubbles up in my throat. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
I think I’m going to be sick.
“Yeah, I bet,” Jackson replies but doesn’t even look in her direction.
In fact, his eyes are on me, burning through my clothes and into my skin. I feel as if I’m under a microscope being inspected.
“Come sit with us. There’s plenty of room.” Crystal pats the seat next to her, and I wonder if she can see how desperate she is being in that moment. Then again, I don’t know why I care how desperate she acts. I’m not in competition with her. Jackson and I aren’t even friends, let alone anything past that.
“Nah, I’m going to sit with Kennedy,” Jackson says, shocking the hell out of me as he takes the seat in front of me. Talon follows suit, taking the spot beside him.
“Hey,” Talon greets me, and my cheeks burn with fire.
“Hey,” I whisper back.
“Talon, Kennedy. Kennedy, Talon,” Jackson introduces us, and it seems like everyone in the room is staring at me. I’m not sure what to say. It’s not like these people are my friends.
I can see Crystal out of the corner of my eye. She looks like she’s ready to scratch my eyes out, little does she know there isn’t anything going on between us.
“Jackson, you know, I was thinking, maybe we could hang out again, we have so much fun every time we’re together.” Her teeth sink into her bottom lip, and she bats her eyes at him, and I grab my tray, preparing to leave, but stop when I see that Jackson isn’t even looking at her. He’s watching me. He hasn’t looked her way once, and in fact, from the tightness in his jaw and tension in his eyes, I could only guess that he’s annoyed.
A second passes, and then another, no one says anything, and like a hurricane making landfall, Crystal explodes.
“You don’t have to ignore me, especially not for some geek with an ugly ass scar on her face.” Crystal and her friends break out in laughter as her words slice through me. I try and cover up my shock with a mask of indifference before Jackson can see it, but it’s too late. Fury overtakes his features, and I’m half tempted to tell him he doesn’t have to stick up for me, but keep my mouth shut.
“I’m not ignoring you because of Kennedy. I’m ignoring you because you’re clingy and annoying, and I’m not interested. I’ve said it ten times. How much clearer do you need it to be?” Crystal’s face looks as if she’s tasted something sour.
“Excuse me, but no one says no to me. Every guy wants me, even you. You just won’t admit it.” She purses her lips. “Isn’t that right, even you want me, Talon?”
Talon shrugs. “I mean, I’d fuck you, but you aren’t the type I’d keep around.”
Crystal and all her friends gasp in shock, and I decide to make my exit. I don’t want to be a part of this squabble any longer. I’m not anything to Jackson, and I don’t want him to feel obligated to stick up for me anymore.
Grabbing my tray, I get up from my seat and walk to the trash. Dumping the half-eaten salad into the garbage, I do my best not to run out of the cafeteria. I make it through the double doors and down a set of steps before I hear someone running behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I find Jackson running toward me.
“What the hell, Kennedy?” he growls as he reaches me, his breathing harsh.
“I…” What do I even say?
“You didn’t have to leave because of her. She would’ve left all on her own.”
I tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear and look up at him. “You didn’t have to stick up for me, and I wasn’t going to stay there and watch a fight ensue that I had no right being a part of. Those are your friends. Plus, I was done eating, anyway.”
Jackson’s brows furrow, and his nostrils flare. “You still had a whole salad, and you didn’t even open your water.”
I shrug, knowing I’ve been caught in a lie. “I lost my appetite. Anyway, I’m fine. Go back inside.”
“Why?”
Confusion bleeds into my face. “Why not? They’re your friends.”
“Talon is my friend. Crystal is no one.”
A heartbeat passes, and then another, and I’m not sure what to say. Do I tell him about what Crystal said about this morning? Come out and ask him if he’s sleeping with both of us? Or is that too straight forward? He told her he wasn’t interested, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t interested before.
“Did she say something to you?” he interrupts my thoughts with his question. I suppose it’s now or never.
Licking my lips, I say, “Not directly. It was more telling the entire cafeteria.”
“What did she say?” Jackson crosses his arms over his chest, making himself look more imposing.
I drop my gaze to the floor and stare at my sneakers. “She said that you called her this morning to come over, and that you hung out together last night. I don’t really care who you hang out with, but like I told you before, I don’t want to catch any diseases or anything, and I don’t know who else you’re doing stuff with and…” I’m rambling now.
“Shut up,” Jackson says sternly, and I feel my heart sink into my stomach. Things were going so well. Why did I have to go and screw them up?
Goosebumps break out across my skin when Jackson’s fingers grip onto my chin, forcing me to look up and into his forest green eyes, in the sun, they seem a shade lighter than usual.
“If I wanted to fuck someone else, I would. The only person I’m doing anything with is you, and I literally can’t stand Crystal. I don’t want her, and we aren’t friends.”
I nod or at least try with his grasp holding my head in place. My shoulders suddenly feel lighter, and warmth fills me, knowing he isn’t with anyone else but me.
“Oh, okay. You didn’t… you didn’t have to tell me. We aren’t anything. You said it yourself, we’re not even friends.”
A ghost of a smile tugs at Jackson’s lips. “We’re complicated, to say the least, and I didn’t have to say something. But I’m dicking you, so you deserve to know if I’m doing the same to other girls, which I’m not.”
“Dicking?” I can’t help but giggle at the term. “Is that even a word?”
“It is now,” he says, grinning. “Seriously, though, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
I shouldn’t even ask, shouldn’t even contemplate saying the word, but my mouth gets the word out before I can stop it. “Why?”
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t allow you to sleep with someone else. So, it’s only fair I extend the same courtesy to you.”
And in a roundabout way, I feel like he respects me more. That he’s seeing me for more than what I did and who I took from him.
We both lost Jillian that day, and though we didn’t die, whatever we shared did. I want that back more than anything in the world because when I’m with Jackson, everything seems a little brighter, a little easier.
23
Jackson
A week passes, and things with Kennedy remain the same. I hate admitting how much better I feel when we’re together. It still seems like I’m betraying Jillian by befriending Kennedy, and it takes an enormous amount of effort to remind myself daily that that’s not the case.
My mind is assaulted by images of Kennedy from the night that we shared dinner together. Her smile, the way she opened up to me. It’s not new, we’d always been friends, so I don’t know why it’s so different, but it feels like we’re just becoming friends for the first time.
Walking out of my business class, I wait in the courtyard for Kennedy to show. She should be coming from her economics class soon. Tugging my phone out of my pocket, I settle on a bench and let the warmth of the sun beat down on me.
Going to my messages, I find three brand new ones from my best friend from high school, Ty. He goes to North Woods University, so I haven’t seen him in almost a year.
I grin as I scroll through the messages.
Ty: What up, man?
Ty: Dude, really? Ignoring me?
Ty: Can’t ignore me if I’m there, right?
Ty: Psst. I’m here, and the fucking chicks are *flame emoji*
I’m not shocked at all that he just showed up here, and I’m actually happy he’s here. With a fight at the pits tonight and a party over at the frat house, he’s come at the perfect time. Typing out my response, my finger moves over the send key when I feel someon
e walking up behind me.
“Guess who?” Ty’s dumbass voice filters into my ear, and I twist around to face him.
“Hey, dumbass,” I say, snickering. “I was just about to text you back.”
“Yeah? After I already sent you four messages. I see where I rate.” Crossing his arms over his chest, I can see he’s been working out more. He was always kind of athletic, and girls flocked to our group of friends all the time. Ty was a lady killer, and I’m sure he still is.
“I was in class, what do you want me to do, pull out my phone, and message you back right away?” Conceited bastard obviously still thinks the world revolves around him.
Ty taps his chin. “Actually, yeah, I do.”
Walking around the bench, he takes the spot next to me. “What are you doing sitting out here? People watching? Or pussy watching?”
Do I tell him about Kennedy? Probably not. There isn’t anything going on between us, but yet I’m sitting on the bench waiting for her to come out of her class.
I decide to tell him a little white lie, then if Kennedy comes out, I can pretend like I didn’t see her or something if she asks. “Just sitting here. It’s nice out, and maybe I wanted to catch some rays?”
Ty chuckles, running his fingers through his dark brown hair. “What are we doing this weekend? Partying? Chicks? I didn’t come here just to sit on a park bench.”
Twisting around, I pin him with a stare. “Dude, you’ve been here five minutes, chill.”
Ty shrugs, and I look away, hoping he’ll chill the fuck out. Maybe he’s on something? Wouldn’t be the first time, and would explain why he’s so hyped up, his knee bouncing up and down and his hands moving, tapping against his thighs.
Students come rushing out of the economics hall, and my heart beats a little bit faster. I feel anxious as I watch, waiting for her blonde head to appear in the crowd. I shouldn’t be watching for her, waiting, wanting to spend any more time than I do with her, but I can’t help myself. Being around her makes me feel better.