If You Let Me Go: A Sweet Romance (First Love Billionaire Romance novel)

by Sonia Rao

  Misha nodded, with no much enthusiasm. But she posed in full selfie mode, pouting mouth and body bent at a twisted angle. Shivalika made sure the bars of the Eiffel Tower were clearly visible.

  Then she turned to VK. “A selfie, VK?” Misha was watching her like a hawk.

  VK was caught off-guard but quickly gained his composure. Quirking up one eyebrow, he nodded and took the selfie pose with one hand holding her firmly around the shoulder.

  Her phone camera moved fast as she quickly documented their pose, feeling as giddy inside as she did outside. The height must be playing havoc with her rational mind, she surmised. She thought she felt Misha’s piercing glances on her back, but she ignored them.

  “Done?” VK asked when she finally stopped clicking.

  Shivalika nodded, as she quickly scrolled across the screen looking at the pics. Surprised at her own boldness, she was even more surprised to see how good the pics looked. The angles had been perfect with the lights shining on their face and giving them an ethereal look.

  “Don’t forget to share them with me,” VK said, casually, but his eyes spoke another language, which she was too nervous to decipher. She nodded. “I shall.”

  “I’ve read that the lighted up Tower looks even better when viewed from below,” Jayesh broke in.

  Misha held VK’s arm possessively as she pointed out Gustave Eiffel’s residence that had also doubled up as his office. The builder of the tower had kept a room for himself right at the top. Framed pictures of Gustave with celebrity visitors hung on the walls of the tiny office. Such history was so pleasing to see. Shivalika’s imagination went wild with the free reign to see the undocumented in her mind’s eye.

  They were quiet as they absorbed the history even as they took the elevator to Level One. Walking down the stairs from Level One, Shivalika smoothed her hand over the frames wondering when she would ever be back again. It did not seem to be a probability, at least not in the near future.

  Once they reached the ground, they gazed in awe at the lit-up Tower. It looked even better than Shivalika had imagined. They were not allowed to photograph it so each one of them stared up at the iconic monument soaking up as much as they could of the gorgeous view.

  They were tired but exuberant as they went back to the exhibition center for dinner as that was the time VK and Misha would meet people and talk about possible collaborations.

  The day had been exhausting but an action-packed one and as Shivalika tucked herself into the warm bed, she wondered if her sleep-dream would be as exciting as the day she just had. As she dropped off to sleep, she smiled as she imagined telling her dad and yes, her mom too, about this wonderful visit.

  CHAPTER 13

  Ishq ne nikamma bana diya hamein

  Warna hum bhi aadmi kaam ke the

  This ghazal played in the auditorium, after the German song got over, as part of the creative and cultural extravaganza set up for the delegates.

  The whole atmosphere was lighted up with a lot of fun and gaiety. The itinerary stated that today was the National Dress Day so many had worn their national dress or its variations. The whole ambience was colorful and like a pageant. It looked and felt like Diwali but without the fireworks.

  “Wow! Somebody’s looking like an angel.” Rati, who was shimmering no less in her bottle green Paithani silk sari, complimented Shivalika. Jayesh, wearing an off-white silk kurta and churidar, nodded to show his agreement with Rati.

  Shivalika blushed as pink as her delicate, baby-pink, chiffon anarkali-cut dress. The churidar was hidden beneath the top that skimmed her ankles. A net dupatta with a broad satin border studded with dark pink roses completed the ensemble. The sweetheart neckline of the bodice which was densely embroidered with the same dark pink roses as those on the dupatta gave her the look of a princess from a fairy tale.

  Once the dance and song performances were over, all delegates filed into the dining room to grab a bite. The Indian trio also started moving towards the dining area. Just as they were about to enter the dining room Shivalika felt her wrist being grabbed. Scared, she tried to shake it off.

  “Are you going to lunch alone without even waiting for me?” Hearing VK’s smooth voice stopped her in her tracks.

  “We...we thought you would eat with Misha,” she began, unsure about how to go on. VK gave a small laugh. Luckily, he had let go of her hand. Else, that combined with the dashing picture he made in his Nehru jacket worn over tight-fitting pants and a shirt with sleeves rolled up till the elbows, were enough to make her swoon.

  “Relax, I was kidding,” he said. “You go right ahead and eat. Misha and I have been invited to join the leaders’ table in the conference room. After you’ve eaten, please come there, especially you, Shivalika, because I want to introduce you to the other leaders.”

  This filled Shivalika with a warm glow. She could get neither his words nor the fact that he had singled her out to meet the other leaders, out of her mind.

  It was not a general invitation; it was specifically for her and it thrilled her. Was it because she felt it would enhance her career? She pretended that was the reason. It would give her a head start to rise rapidly in her field, giving her credibility and reputation a big boost.

  Deep down, though, she was afraid to admit it even to herself that her feelings had nothing to do with her career. She had carried the torch of being a career woman for so long but she knew the actual reason for that warm glow.

  She had begun to admire VK tremendously and every word that he spoke to her she treasured them close to her heart. On all those nights she couldn’t sleep or rather didn’t sleep, she went over those words again and again, trying to analyse them, read into them, explore them, trying to discover if they were saying more than what they stood for.

  *****

  Once they’d eaten, Shivalika was eager to go to the conference room as instructed by VK. She kept her impatience hidden from the others, though, because if they noticed and mentioned anything back home she would have a situation on her hands.

  “Hello, I’m Maurice. You are from India, aren’t you?”

  The trio turned around and saw a slim, stylishly dressed man, who must be around 30 years of age, holding a plate of salad.

  Seeing them turn, he smiled and held out his hand. His attention seemed fixed on Shivalika which made her blush.

  She looked at his name tag: Maurice – France.

  So, he was a local. That was interesting.

  They shook hands. Maurice politely shook hands with Rati and Jayesh too and after some small talk, he turned his full attention to Shivalika.

  Maurice had seen her on stage when she had given the presentation and from that moment he had been eager to meet her. He wanted to make her an offer to join the firm he worked in. She was the reason he had excused himself from the leaders’ table and the head of his company had been indulgent because he knew Maurice would do that only if it was really important.

  But having met her, Maurice was even more floored by the Indian beauty in front of his eyes. Her dark eyes and shimmery mouth were too exotic and he wanted to explore them both. He wanted to twirl her long hair around his fingers. He was very interested in Shivalika, not just professionally but also personally.

  Maurice did not want to let go of Shivalika. When he realized that they had eaten, he just took a couple of bites from his plate and then dumped it in the bin and guided her to the seating section. He chose a secluded corner where they could see everything and everyone but they would not be disturbed.

  Shivalika watched him with amazement. She had lost her hesitation because Maurice had introduced himself as the head designer of what she knew to be one of the world’s best well-known design firms. She wondered what he wanted from her.

  They sat together for a long time, discussing the architectural and interior designs of both the countries and even a debate about the latest trends as they related to the economy.

  Maurice was falling in love with her—impressed and floor
ed by her knowledge and grasp of issues. He did not want her to leave as yet, not now, and truth be told, not ever. He was sure her body would be as delicious as her mind was and wanted to explore both.

  “You must excuse me now, Maurice. We have to meet our boss at the Leader’s Table,” Shivalika said. Her team mates had been frantically signalling to her for some time.

  Maurice gallantly offered to accompany her to the conference room. She did not demur because she too liked his company and found him very interesting and stimulating to talk to.

  As they walked towards the conference room, Maurice placed his hand on and off gently on her back as he expertly guided her through the throngs of people. When they approached VK’s table, Maurice’s hand was still around her waist as they had just come through an extra-exuberant crowd.

  VK’s eyes turned stormy when he saw that.

  Amidst introductions, Maurice held her left hand and extended his right hand to VK. They politely spoke to each other and Maurice’s boss too came over and they had a nice conversation. VK introduced Shivalika to the other CEOs and designers seated at the table. But Maurice could not get enough of Shivalika. He was eager to have her alone to himself and wanted to show her around the place.

  “We shall be back very soon,” Maurice cajoled Shivalika who wondered whether it was such a good idea. Since she was here as part of the team, it was reasonable that she take VK’s consent for going out with Maurice. But she seemed to be in a reckless mood and agreed to Maurice’s request even though she could feel VK’s gaze boring into her, willing her to refuse.

  “So, where are you going?” VK asked lightly but his eyes belied the anger he felt.

  “Just a short drive around the promenade to show Shivalika our architectural delights. We, les Français, the French people, are proud of our monuments. Please don’t worry, I will take very good care of her, like ma tresoire,” Maurice said. He had sensed VK’s anger and discomfort and tried to relieve the atmosphere with his calm words.

  ******

  And then Shivalika found herself in the most beautiful place in the world.

  Maurice, being a local, knew all the secret places of the city which were hidden from the tourists, and offered the most beautiful view of the monuments.

  She ooh and aahed at the sights. Tantalised by her lighted up eyes, and her mouth that was glossy and shimmery with the light pink color she favoured, that without knowing what he was doing, Maurice held her gently in his arms and kissed her.

  At first, Shivalika was shocked into stillness and then tears welled up in her eyes. She had never even been kissed and she felt she had been violated.

  She pushed him away and looked at him with such injured eyes that Maurice felt like a criminal.

  “Mon Dieu, I am really sorry.” He ran his hands through his hair in confusion and puzzlement. He wondered why she had looked at him as if he had assaulted her. She looked old enough to have known a few lovers. She, no doubt, had that untouched air about her and that was what had attracted him to her in the first place. But this was actually the truth was a fact difficult for him to digest.

  “Don’t cry please, ma chérie.” He pleaded with her. The tears threatened to slip down her eyes. She wiped them away quickly.

  She was feeling miserable and looked it. She felt such a failure. Maurice was expecting much more than she had been ready to give and she had come out with him thinking that he just wanted to show her the sights.

  “I am sorry,” she said, in a small quiet voice.

  “Mon Dieu, non, non. I thought I saw some feelings that were actually not there just because I wanted to see them. I’m really sorry, ma chérie. Have you never been kissed before?” Maurice asked gently. He was intrigued.

  Shivalika wished the ground would open up and swallow her. Her inexperience in such matters had her feeling extra gauche and unlearned in front of such a man of the world.

  But Maurice took a very different view of her situation. He might have been just a few years older than her but suddenly felt world-weary and so very protective of this gamine creature in front of him.

  He led her to a stone bench which gave a panoramic view of the sunset. They sat there for a long time, talking about their cultures, their families and friends and hobbies. At the end of what was supposed to be half an hour but had extended beyond dinner time, they promised to remain friends and in touch with each other. They exchanged phone numbers and email ids and promised to look each other up if either of them ever visited the other’s country.

  “Shivalika, ever since I saw your presentation, I’ve been meaning to ask you to join our company. Are you interested?”

  Shivalika looked at him in amazement.

  “Are you making this offer just because I cried?”

  “Non, mon amour,” he said, tucking a lock of her wayward hair behind her ear. “I saw your presentation, remember? And your design ideation process is amazing. We’d love to have someone like you on our team. And why someone like you, we want only you on our team.”

  It seemed like a dream come true. But she knew that she was not ready to take such a big step yet. The image of VK came to her mind but she brushed it away. No, it had nothing to do with him but she was not sure her intent was as strong as the words she told herself.

  Shivalika held Maurice’s hand and shook her head. “That’s such an amazing offer but perhaps I am a big fool for not being ready to jump at it. Please forgive me, Maurice.”

  Maurice held her hand and gently kissed her fingertips. “This is an open offer. Whenever you are ready, I shall be waiting for you.” His eyes looked deep into hers, speaking about more than just the job.

  Shivalika blushed at the frank adoration in his eyes. Impulsively, she hugged him and he held her tight for a moment, hoping his hug would have been reciprocated but knowing that he had not aroused that desire, that burning desire, which then burns hard and wants to be assuaged and then it doesn’t consider any boundaries of age, country, culture.

  He gave her a gentle peck on her cheek. “I hope you meet your heart’s desire soon. I wish you luck with that. It can be the most joyous moment of your life.”

  “Have you met yours?” She was artless but frank in her question.

  He gave her a sad smile and gently led her to the car.

  ******

  VK was pacing the lobby when they arrived. When he saw her tear-streaked face his eyes went dark and he took a step forward with his fist clenched and mouth set in a tight line.

  Shivalika wondered what was making him so angry but Maurice realized and was confused. Wasn’t VK engaged to that brainy, social butterfly who was with him a bit earlier? Then why did his eyes show that he was crazily in love with Shivalika? And had he told Shivalika he loved her? And did Shivalika know that he loved her? Did Shivalika love him?

  There were just too many questions but before he could say anything, Shivalika stepped up to VK and said, “Maurice was such a fabulous guide. We were so engrossed in seeing the sights that we forgot the time.”

  She saw him staring at her face and realised that signs of tears might still be visible. “And I became so emotional, seeing those monuments I’ve always wanted to see,” she said. VK relaxed then, and Shivalika gave Maurice a relieved smile as they said their goodnights.

  Without a word VK escorted her to her room and then left her without even saying goodnight.

  Rati was sitting up waiting to hear the juicy details of her trip with Maurice. Shivalika told her the bare minimums.

  “You know, VK was in a black mood as soon as you left. You remember how charming and cool he was earlier? But when you left he did not speak even to Misha who also sulked and you know what she said when she thought no-one was listening?”

  Shivalika shook her head.

  “She told him that what do you see in that slip of a girl, so gauche and unfashionable. I hate it that you are always giving her so much attention. What is gauche, do you know?”

  Shivalika was shocked when
she heard this. “Gauche is a french word which means someone who is unpolished,” she said.

  “That idiot. Do you think VK has the hots for you?” Her head jerked up at Rati’s words.

  “What do you mean?” she hotly defended, whom or what she didn’t know. “We all know he is going to marry Misha. He is not the sort to have ‘the hots’ for anyone. How can you even say such a thing?”

  “Ok, ok, don’t get so hot under the collar.” Her roommate tried to pacify her.

  But when Shivalika actually lay down on the bed, the thoughts that swirled in her head wouldn’t let her sleep. She had experienced a lot emotionally today and she hoped tomorrow would be a better day. For her a better day would be one that was less emotional and more businesslike because anything else would be too stressful.

  ******

  The next day went off well and even VK did not seem to be in a thunderous mood. Misha, though, threw a lot of dagger-like glances at Shivalika who was totally unaware of her reasons for doing so.

  Shivalika shrugged her shoulders. She really couldn’t be worried too much about other people’s problems when she had enough of her own to face and solve.

  That evening, all five of them went for sightseeing and afterwards, they sat at a cafe, drinking coffee and eating croissants, watching the people pass by.

  Right outside their cafe, Shivalika espied a young couple in a very romantic mood and saw the young man suddenly move his head forward and kiss his partner right on the lips. She gave a start and as she turned her head away from the scene, the color on her face rising from the bottom of her neck to the cheeks, she happened to look at VK. He was looking at her with a strange, unfathomable look in his eyes. Shivalika’s heart started pounding and the heat in her face told her that she must have turned a beetroot red.

  She couldn’t keep up with his gaze and she bent her head. Luckily for her, the curtain of her hair covered her face from VK’s scrutiny.

  Later, when she did manage to sneak a glance at him she saw that he still had a brooding look on his face. She pretended nothing had happened and turned to the others and joined in a conversation with them. This was so superficial she felt, she just wanted to be somewhere alone and ruminate over her feelings.