Sizzle & Share: A MFM Firefighter Romance (Surrender to Them Book 9)

by Kelli Callahan

“Why don’t I know it? We—never had any secrets.” She walked over and sat down next to me.

  “We did.” I sighed. “Or at least I did. It wasn’t just one secret either, it was two.”

  I had never told anyone about the summer I spent with the Anderson brothers. I thought about telling Melanie before I left town, but I was too brokenhearted to say the words. I considered telling her again when she asked me to come back to Andalusia because I didn’t want to revisit the past unless I absolutely had to. It was a lot easier that way. I wasn’t going to be able to be her Maid of Honor and help her plan the wedding unless I told her the truth. She needed to know why Preston just couldn’t show up at her house and expect me to talk to him. Once I started talking, everything just came out in spurts.

  I told her about graduation night, losing my virginity, and then continuing to see both of them throughout the summer. I told her what Hudson said—his passionate confession that was nothing but a lie—and how Preston destroyed me. I kept the promise I made to myself and I didn’t cry as I came clean with her, but it wasn’t easy. Just saying the words out loud pulled at the scars left behind—and they wanted to rip. They wanted me to bleed, even if I had given more than my fair share of it when I left Andalusia behind.

  “Holy shit.” Melanie shook her head with her mouth hanging open in surprise. “I can’t believe you never told me.”

  “I never told anyone.” I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “That was how it had to be—the only way I could survive.”

  “And I brought you back.” Melanie shook her head angrily and started to stand. “I’m going to give that bastard a piece of my mind.”

  “Wait—he’s still here?” I looked up in surprise.

  “Yeah, he wouldn’t leave.” Her jaw tensed. “But he’s going to leave now, even if I have to start hurling kitchen knives at him until he does.”

  “Hold on…” I shook my head and held up my hand. “I’ll go talk to him.”

  “Fuck that.” Melanie started towards the door. “You don’t need to go through that shit again. I can get rid of him, trust me.”

  “This is my demon.” I balled my fists and squeezed my eyes shut. “It’s time for me to exorcize him once and for good.”

  I might not have wanted to see Preston, but I couldn’t let Melanie deal with my problem—not after I told her everything. She was always very protective of me, and there was a chance she might actually throw a kitchen knife at him if he refused to leave. I had played through the last conversation I had with Preston before I left several times over the years. I thought about how I reacted, and how I should have reacted. I should have spit the vileness right back at him, called him every name in the book, and then hit him with the book itself. I was no longer that weak girl who got her heart broken. I had venom in my veins instead of fear. It was time for me to let him see that he didn’t break me—no matter how hard he tried. I let that fear keep me away for five years. The scars weren’t going to rip open, they were going to be permanently sealed—and when I left Andalusia again, I was leaving because I wanted to, not because I had to. Even if I didn’t want to admit it, I did need closure—and the best way to get it was to face my demon with both eyes open.

  “Eliza…” Preston looked up at me as I walked down the stairs.

  “Save it.” I held up my hand and shook my head. “I don’t know what you’ve come to say, but you can turn right around and leave.”

  “I just want to talk to you.” His eyes weren’t cold like they were when he shattered me—they were kind—with a hint of remorse.

  I didn’t expect to see that. No. Don’t look at him. Just cling to your strength.

  “The girls in Andalusia aren’t putting out anymore? Sorry. I didn’t come back so you could—what was it? Bend me over a table for a quick fuck.” I felt my anger rising up, which was exactly what I needed.

  “I’m sorry.” Preston’s head dropped. “I truly am.”

  An apology? From the lips of the devil? Color me—less than impressed.

  “I needed that apology five years ago. I don’t need it now.” My eyes narrowed, and I shook my head angrily. “You mean nothing to me.”

  Holy shit. Did I actually say that?

  “I shouldn’t.” His head slowly lifted. “But Hudson should.”

  “Oh don’t go there.” My teeth came together tight enough to make my jaw hurt. “He’s the same as you—except he’s a lying little bitch. At least you were honest.”

  “I lied.” Preston’s lip trembled, and I saw a tear form in the corner of his eye.

  Okay, he’s the last one I expected to shed a fucking tear.

  “You—what?” I tilted my head to the side.

  “Hudson loved you. I lied to you when I told you he didn’t.” Preston exhaled sharply. “It broke him when you left.”

  “How—how could you?” The anger was fading—the tears were coming—because that was the last thing I expected Preston to say.

  “Because I’m an asshole.” Preston’s whole body looked like it was going to start shaking. “Because I loved you too—and that scared me.”

  “Fuck you!” I walked up and slammed my hand into his chest as hard as I could, and I didn’t stop with just one—I kept hammering him until he staggered backward, and my arms were tired.

  “I’m so fucking sorry, Eliza.” Preston fell back against the wall when I finally stopped hitting him.

  “You treated me like I was garbage on the street—no, like I wasn’t even worthy of being garbage. That’s not how you treat someone you care about. I needed you!” My eyes refused to hold back the tears, but they were angry tears—and that was okay. “I spent my whole life being abandoned, thrown away, and when I finally—when I fucking finally allowed myself to trust someone, you just…”

  “I know.” Preston took a step forward, and he looked just like I did the day I left Andalusia—eyes filled with despair. “But he still loves you, and I couldn’t let you leave again without knowing that.”

  Still? After all these years?

  “What about you?” I wiped away the tears.

  “I don’t even love myself—I certainly don’t deserve to love anyone else.” Preston walked to the door and slammed it as he left.

  I cried. I’m not ashamed to admit that the angry tears gave way to sorrowful ones. Melanie came downstairs and wrapped her arms around me as I sank to the floor. All of the heartbreak? The scars? They had all been a lie? I did have someone who loved me—someone who wanted me—and I was the one who abandoned him. I couldn’t even process those thoughts. If Preston didn’t want me back then, that was fine, but how could he ruin my chance of happiness with Hudson? How could he do that to his own brother? How could he do that to me? How could he walk into Melanie’s house and shatter my whole world again? None of those questions had answers. Or maybe they did—deeply rooted in the words he said was one truth. Preston Anderson didn’t even love himself—so of course, he couldn’t let anyone else be happy. He was a gutless coward who destroyed everything because he was afraid of his own feelings.

  11

  Hudson

  Three years ago

  I spent three years suffering from my own fucking regrets. I internalized them and focused on helping others. The first year was hard. When Preston got hurt and had to come back home, I found a little bit of comfort in being there for him. We were both going through something—even if it wasn’t the same thing. I thought that would strengthen our bond, but every day seemed to drive us further apart. I didn’t understand it. He knew how I felt about Eliza, and I knew that football was everything to him. Then I learned the truth. Football broke his body, but his regrets were much deeper than mine. He betrayed me. He betrayed our bond—all because he wanted to push her away so that he could have the life he thought he wanted. Where did that get him? Where did it get either of us? I carried a broken heart in my chest because I thought Eliza left me. Instead, that was all a lie.

  I could have kept the hate in my
heart for Preston, and let it eat me alive, but I already had too much eating at me to let my brother kill himself. That was the road he was headed down if I didn’t do something to intervene. I found the strength to pick him up—the strength to forgive. I got him to stop drinking, got him enrolled and the fire academy, and begged the chief to let him work at the fire department with me. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. I still did love him, even if he was a coward who pushed Eliza away. Maybe I just wanted to be a better man than he was, or maybe I believed he could be redeemed. I still carried a torch for Eliza, but I knew it was too late. It had been two years since she left—two years since the lie sent her running from Andalusia as fast as possible. After Preston’s confession, I allowed myself to heal—allowed myself to accept the reality of the situation. It was easier knowing that she did care about me, but heartbreaking to think about what we could have had together.

  * * *

  Present day

  “Preston could have died in that fire.” I put my fists on Chief Traywick’s desk and leaned forward. “You have to talk to the mayor.”

  “I’ve tried.” Chief Traywick leaned back and shook his head. “This is a small town. We struggled before the Internet came along and everyone started buying things online. Now we’re lucky if the city’s budget isn’t in the red every damn year.”

  “Our resources are tapped because we are always the fire department that everyone calls when they need help.” I grumbled under my breath. “We could have saved that farmhouse if we had better equipment. We need another truck, another tanker, more fire hydrants—this is so fucking frustrating! We don’t even have a pump that we can hook up to the natural water reservoirs when we get so far out that the tanker can’t hold enough water!”

  “I know.” He nodded and sighed. “I was standing right where you were once upon a time—telling my chief the same thing.”

  “So nothing is going to change, no matter how upset I get?” I pushed myself back from his desk and nodded.

  “Not unless you’re going to get elected mayor—but even then, I doubt you could do anything. This place needs money and that isn’t easy to come by.” Chief Traywick sighed.

  “Yeah. I get it.” I nodded and left his office.

  As tragic as the two fires were, they had managed to do one thing—they made me stop focusing on the fact Eliza was back in town. I hadn’t fully come to terms with it yet. I was still struggling to believe that it was anything more than an illusion. I dreamed about that moment in the first couple of years after she left—that she would see the light and return. When I found out Preston was the one who drove her away, that hope faded. She definitely wasn’t going to return if she thought we used her for sex and that I lied to her when I said I loved her—that I was just some confused kid who didn’t know what I wanted. I suppressed everything as deep as I could where it didn’t have to see the light of day. It was better that way. The bitterness wasn’t in my mouth every time I thought about her. She deserved better than me anyway, and some things were better left in the past where they belonged.

  * * *

  The next day

  I wasn’t prepared for what I saw when I got off work. I went home like I always did, letting my thoughts wander as I drove. I was tired from my shift, worried that we were eventually going to have a fire that did result in a tragedy because of our backward town, and of course—I thought about Eliza. There was a part of me that wanted to find her—to force her to listen to all of the things I wanted to say—but that wasn’t fair. She could be married—she could have kids. She could have a happy life outside of Andalusia that she was eager to get back to. Five years was a very long time. We weren’t kids anymore—far from it. Except when I turned my truck into my driveway, I saw something very unexpected. I saw Eliza sitting on the steps of my house. My heart started beating in my chest, but I tried to quell it. If she had anything to say to me, it probably wasn’t the words I wanted to hear.

  “Hey.” Her tone was flat, and she seemed nervous.

  “Good morning…” I resisted the urge to run to her—because I still didn’t know why she was at my house.

  “Do you want to get that cup of coffee now?” Her head lifted—and for the first time in five years, I saw her smile.

  “Yes.” I nodded, but it felt like my head was spinning in circles. “I’d like that very much. I’d like it even better if you’d let me make it.”

  “Okay. I think we have a lot to talk about.” She exhaled sharply, but her smile didn’t fade.

  My heart started beating harder. My fingers trembled when I pushed the key into the lock. Was I lost in my own madness and imagining what was right before my eyes? Was Eliza really at my house? Was she really following me inside—perhaps hysteria had finally taken me. If it had, then that was the world I wanted to live in. I started a pot of coffee and I stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to say. She was the first to speak. She told me that Preston came to her and confessed everything. Maybe there was a decent man inside my brother after all. She apologized. I apologized. She cried. I cried. We were two people—old lovers that found out the past wasn’t as traumatic as we thought. When the tears were done, and our first cup of coffee was empty, I hugged her. It wasn’t like the one in Starbucks, and she didn’t pull away. It was the most incredible hug of my life, and if I could have held her there in my arms forever, I would have. It was an emotional release—five years of longing that pulled me from the depths of all despair.

  And now I’m going to kiss her.

  12

  Eliza

  I spent all night thinking about what Preston said. The scars on my heart were his doing—both of them. One of the scars didn’t belong there. Hudson really did love me back then, and there was a chance he still did. I was scared of that possibility—scared of what it could mean. The thing that drove me forward, and put me on his doorstep, was the fact that I realized all of the pain I felt—he probably felt it too. He believed I walked away after he said he loved me. I knew that feeling of abandonment and betrayal. I had enough of it for more than one lifetime. I couldn’t leave without seeing him. Even if the years had destroyed what we had, I wanted to at least make sure he heard the words from my lips. Truthfully, I wanted to hear them from his too. Mostly, I wanted to see it in his eyes. I wanted to know for sure that what Preston said was true because it was difficult for me to trust him, even if he did seem to be telling the truth.

  “You can’t begin to imagine how much I’ve missed you.” Hudson wrapped his arms around me and I melted into his embrace.

  “I wanted to miss you—I really did.” I looked up and our eyes locked together. “I was just so wounded…”

  “So was I.” Hudson leaned forward—and his lips crushed mine like they had so many times before.

  A kiss can’t stop the world from spinning, but it made mine stop immediately. The passion I remembered—it was still there. There was no denying it. I should have known a man who kissed me like that had true feelings buried beneath the exterior. He ripped the curtains away from my eyes the same way he did when we were teenagers—when he took my innocence. I definitely didn’t have that to give, but I had five years without him, and I truly did miss his touch. His hands moved along my body, and I wanted the closeness we used to share. I wanted skin-on-skin—I wanted to watch the storm in his eyes when he made love to me. He scooped me up in his powerful arms and I knew exactly where we were going. His need was as strong as mine. The instant we were on the bed, his lips were on mine again—it was a hunger that was meant to devour, and I was ready for that passion to consume me.

  “God, I want you so bad.” He said as his hand moved underneath my shirt and squeezed my breasts through my bra.

  “Show me.” I exhaled sharply and moaned.

  He tore at my clothes while I tore at his. We had to have each other—we both craved it. He didn’t pull my panties off, he ripped them from my hips. That was the dominance I saw the last time we were together—it was no longer hid
ing behind his eyes. My pussy was so wet for him that he pushed his cock into it with nothing more than a couple of hard thrusts. It hurt after not having anyone inside me for five years, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to feel the fury while he unleashed five years of frustration on my body. He started to thrust and every one was harder than the one before it. I began to moan immediately, feeling the pressure build as his body crashed into mine and his cock went deep enough to make my g-spot hum. It was a pleasure that had been denied, but it was mine again—and it was so good I didn’t want either of us to come because it would be over. I wanted that closeness as long as possible.

  “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” My nails dug into his back, and he leaned forward to kiss my neck.

  “There’s nothing in the world that could make me stop.” His voice was a raspy growl. “I’m never letting you leave again.”

  Our bodies chased the pleasure we had been denied—the pleasure that had been stolen from both of us. Hudson controlled his thrusts, keeping me on the edge of ultimate bliss for so long that my entire body was sizzling with desire. He didn’t want to push me over the edge, nor was he eager to turn our passion into ecstasy. Sweat formed on his brow. Our bodies felt like they were seared together and smoldering in the heat that was created between us. Slow—fast—it didn’t matter. The moment was ours. That’s all that truly mattered. I saw the storm brewing in his eyes just like I needed—the fury of a hurricane and the tenderness of a man who cherished the one he was with. My body finally caved into euphoria. The pressure was too much. My muscles got tense and I felt my pussy spasming on his cock.

  “I’m gonna come!” I dug my nails in a little more.

  “I’ve wanted to feel this for so long.” His head rolled back, and I saw the release on his face.