Life After: The Complete Series
Page 17
“Hey, wait a second!” he called.
Confused, I turned to glance at him, my hand on the flap of the tent.
“Will you trust me?”
Though friendly, Jonathon’s smile made my stomach knot. I’d just met this guy, why should I trust him? And I really did want to get back to the celebration.
As if reading my mind, Jonathon continued. “I’ll have you back in plenty of time to enjoy the rest of the celebration. I promise no one will even miss you.”
With that comment, something ached in my chest. I thought about my friends having fun and enjoying themselves without me. I imagined Kaitlin and Logan’s laughing faces as they danced. He was right, no one would miss me.
I gave Jonathon what I hoped was a normal smile and dropped the piece of tent.
“All right then, what’s this amazing thing I just have to see?”
Jonathon’s grin widened, making him look younger. There was a twinkle in his eye that seemed almost childlike, making my unease from a moment ago disappear.
We walked away from the tented celebration and toward the darkened forest. While we talked the music faded, and the sounds of the evening became the louder melody. Crickets sang a sweet lullaby that made me want to feel the tickle of the grass on my feet. I resisted the temptation and continued to follow Jonathon as he picked a path into the forest where the trees remained sparse. The denser woods could be easily seen through the foliage.
“Okay, so it’s not far from here. He should be around here somewhere.”
“He?”
“Yep!”
What “he” was he talking about? Was it possible he could mean the big “He?”
Jonathon grabbed my hand and swiftly placed me in front of him. He settled a hand on my bare shoulder and used the other to direct my line of site. The abruptness of the empathy link startled me. Jonathon was all excitement, and it was hard not to get swept away in his feelings.
“Do you see it? He’s right there.”
When I detangled my emotions from the ones being thrust upon me, I focused in the direction Jonathon was pointing. My breath caught.
There, through the trees, was a fairy tale come to life. His front legs bent in a low bow as he faced our direction. His eyes closed as if savoring the faint music emanating from the tent. His coat was the purest white, and my hands itched to stroke his flanks. I imagined it would feel like the smoothest velvet. Touching the ground was his shimmering pearlescent horn.
I’d forgotten Jonathon was there, let alone still attached to my shoulder. His words whispered in my ear. “They come out when we are all preoccupied during the celebration to pay their homage.”
“He’s magnificent,” I whispered breathlessly.
“Yes. That’s why they weren’t around Earth for very long.”
Sensing my confusion in the empathy link, Jonathon supplied additional information. “People had started to revere them as gods because of their beauty, so they were destroyed in the flood so we wouldn’t confuse the creature with the Creator.”
Standing there watching the magnificent being, I could understand how people might have been misled.
The sight of him urged me closer. Making a small movement forward, I accidentally stepped on a dry stick, which cracked loudly. I glanced down at the offensive stick, then up, but all I caught was a blur of silvery white disappearing into the forest.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I just wanted a closer look.”
Jonathon’s hand had slid off my shoulder, but I was taken aback by how close he was.
“Don’t worry about it. They spook really easily. That’s why they’re so hard to spot.”
“Why did you bring me to see this?”
Jonathon's eyebrows shot up. He looked over my head and shrugged.
“I don’t know. I guess I just figured this was probably something you hadn’t seen before, you know, being new and all. And when you ran right into me,” he gave me a wicked smile, which dropped off his face after only a moment, “I don’t know, I guess I felt there was just something . . .” He let the rest of his sentence drop.
The moment hung in the air.
“Audrey, do you know how beautiful your eyes are?”
My mind startled at the abrupt change of subject. “But they’re just brown.”
“A rich brown.”
He was leaning in, and I just froze. In another moment his lips would be close enough to touch mine. An alarm was going off in my head that shouted too soon, too soon, too soon over and over again, but my body stayed immobile, unable to obey.
16
By the Lake
“What are you guys doing out here?”
Romona’s voice broke my paralysis so suddenly that I jumped away from Jonathon. “Ouch!” Bark bit into my bare back.
“I was showing Audrey the unicorns.” Jonathon responded without a hint of defensiveness in his voice. I, on the other hand, immediately felt guilty, so I started to ramble.
“Oh, Romona, it was amazing. I never knew there were animals so beautiful. And it was here one second, then I stepped on a stupid branch and scared it away. But I think it would have stayed if it didn’t know we were here, so I’m pretty bummed I stepped on the branch, but I just wanted to get a closer look because it’s not like you see one of those every day or anything.”
I was out of breath by the time I finished my wordy account. Romona frowned.
“You shouldn’t have left the celebration.”
“That was my fault. I wanted her to have this experience. I’m sure you know how hard they are to spot.”
Romona glared at him with a look I’d never seen cross her face. It appeared to be a mixture of disappointment and annoyance, with a solid measure of anger. Those weren’t emotions she usually gave in to.
“Yes, I know they are rare, but showing her a unicorn didn’t appear to be the only reason you brought her out here,” she said with a sharp edge to her voice.
Jonathon held his hands up. “Okay okay, I get the picture. Not the smartest thing to do. I was just a little caught up in the moment. But everybody is okay; nothing happened.”
Romona plopped her hands on her hips. “And what if the damage had already been done?”
Her accusing tone seemed to bounce off Jonathon as he flashed a dazzling smile. “Well, we’ve already established that’s not something we have to worry about, now is it?”
“No thanks to you.”
I gaped at how rude she was being. Yes, parts of their conversation were going over my head, but what could he have possibly done to make her this upset in just the short time we were away? Especially since, as far as I knew, Romona didn’t know Jonathon from Adam. The way she behaved was practically parental.
“Romona!”
Jonathon’s tone grew more sincere. “No, don’t worry, Audrey, she’s just being a good friend. I was out of line. I’ll go and let the two of you walk back together.”
Before I could argue, he’d picked my hand up and gently kissed the back. He was feeling a little wistful. His level of comfort with physical contact with me was just plain unnerving.
“I’m sure I’ll see you around again.” Without waiting for my good-bye, he walked away.
I turned on Romona with astonishment.
“What was that all about?”
Romona watched Jonathon’s retreating form with eyes slightly narrowed. “I just thought he was taking advantage of the situation.”
“Well yeah, I could have guessed that, but care to explain to me how?”
“Specifically regarding your lack of knowledge about some things here.”
“What, you mean with the unicorn? How is that harmful?”
With a deep sigh, she angled her face toward me. And skirted the question. “You just have to trust me on this one. Some things mean more than you think.”
“Like what things?”
She took a deep breath and deflected my question once again. “I’m not saying that Jonathon is a bad guy, Audrey.
”
“Well, why don’t you explain to me exactly what you are saying so I can make my own assessment?” I shot back.
“Well, for one thing, he would be a big distraction right now.”
I lifted an eyebrow as if to say “so what?”
“I think he might take your mind off what’s really important.”
Something I would consider a plus. Romona was trying to be helpful, but what was the harm she was alluding to? Jonathon seemed to be a decent guy. Not to mention pretty cute and paying some serious attention to me. And who was she to police who I could or couldn’t hang out with?
“What are you, like my mom or something?”
The question gave her a visible start. “Hardly. But there are things I know more about than you do right now. It’s up to you to trust that I’m telling you the truth. Even in this realm, there are consequences to your actions.”
More riddles. I was suddenly very tired. What had promised to be an enchanted night had turned ugly fast. Sad to have lost the joy for the evening, my gut instinct was to pull away. I was inclined to give in.
“I think I’d like to be alone right now, if you don’t mind.”
“I’m not sure—” Romona started and then stopped herself, giving me a quick nod. “Okay, I understand.”
She turned to follow the path Jonathon had taken. Part of me ached to follow her and rejoin the celebration, but I squashed that feeling and headed in the opposite direction.
I walked lost in my own thoughts for a while before stumbling through a break in the trees that opened to a small, pebbly beach on the shore of a still lake. The lake was embraced by forest on all sides and offered a view of the mountains in the distance. Water soundlessly licked the pebbles on the shoreline. This small oasis in the middle of the trees was calming. My heels sank into the stones as I walked clumsily closer to the water’s edge. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the fresh air. On exhale, it felt as if I had released some of the ugliness toward my friend. The simple act was refreshing to my soul.
“I hear you want to be alone.”
I opened my eyes to Logan sitting on a large rock a few feet away. I was certain he hadn’t been there a moment before. His forearms rested on his knees as he stared across the lake.
The mountain peaks glowed in the odd night lighting and the lake shimmered and sparkled like millions of faraway stars. The air stirred lazily, causing strands of my hair to float over my shoulder and the hem of my dress to tickle my legs. The slight breeze was refreshing without being cold.
“I just needed to think.”
Logan nodded in understanding.
“Mind if I sit down?” I asked.
Logan moved down the rock to make room. There was plenty of space for us both to sit without being in any danger of touching. I stretched my legs in front of me and crossed my ankles. From this position, I had a view of both Logan and the scenery. I took a few moments to study him in silence.
Being with Logan when we weren’t at each other’s throats was turning out to be oddly soothing. I was reminded of the other beach we’d sat on when I’d thought things were finally getting better between us. I stared out across the water and faintly heard the sweet music coming from the celebration. It was a while before either of us said anything.
“What did you think of tonight?” The soft timber of Logan’s voice blended well with the night.
“It was incredible. I never would have imagined something could be so . . .” I struggled for a word to describe it . . . “magical.”
Logan softly chuckled.
“I can see why you would describe it that way. There’s something quite magical about it. Except the ironic thing is that’s what life was supposed to be like. This is really what we were created for, what we’d been missing all along. When we were walking around on Earth, we had a veil covering our eyes, and now that veil has been lifted. If people just understood . . .” He didn’t finish his thought, but his voice had turned passionate.
I turned my head. Logan was staring at me intently. I was a prisoner to those intense eyes.
“What is it you are trying to tell me, Logan?” Unconsciously, I moved forward a fraction, lessening the space between us.
Logan released a deep breath and pulled back, breaking eye contact. He ran a hand through his hair, a move I was quite familiar with. He did it frequently when annoyed.
“Nothing you won’t learn soon enough.”
I let out a small breath of frustration. We were back to that again.
“But not something you will explain to me.”
I leaned away, tired of everyone edging around topics and treating me like a child. I just wanted someone to be completely honest with me. I didn’t want to have to find everything out on my own. It was like trying to navigate without a map or even a final destination. Completely and utterly impossible.
“I’m sorry, Audrey, I’m sure this is wearisome. When you get your memories back, more things are going to fall into place. Unfortunately, some things can’t be explained. There are choices you have to make.”
His words rubbed a sore that was already sensitive. I pushed off the rock to walk the few feet to the water’s edge. The slight tide rolled up mere inches from my toes, only to recede back a moment later. If I moved forward even a little, I would be able to feel the coolness myself. I remained rooted in place.
“Yes, those elusive memories I don’t have anymore. You mean once I remember who I once was, everything will make sense? Ha! But what if it’s the opposite, Logan? What if I remember who I was and all of this makes even less sense? What then?”
“It’s not who you were, Audrey, it’s who you are, who you’ve always been all along. You are still you, even though you don’t remember the details.”
I stared at the water, watching my reflection ripple in the shoreline. I ran a hand down the side of my dress and clasped some of the material in my fingers, feeling its softness.
“Then how does it make sense that I feel more myself in a dress than training gear? How is that supposed to make sense with what I am now? I don’t see the two reconciling.”
Logan pushed off from the rock, and his reflection in the water appeared behind me. When he finally spoke, his warm breath fanned my shoulder.
“I have to admit, you did seem more comfortable in your own skin tonight. Perhaps you were a pageant girl?”
I heard the smile in his voice as he said it. That idea was absurd for a number of reasons. I had a sudden image of me wearing my fighting armor with a tiara and doing a pageant wave down a runway. It was ridiculous enough to force a smile and a rebellious laugh to escape.
“I don’t want to take credit for changing your mood, so can I ask what’s so funny?”
I explained the mental picture I’d just had. The corner of his mouth turned up in my peripheral vision as well as in the hazy water reflection below. He took a step forward.
“That may be more of an accurate description of yourself then you realize.”
“Ha! Yeah, right!” I scoffed.
Logan’s distorted reflection in the water turned ever so slightly toward me. Just as I was studying him in the water, he was studying me. I couldn’t make out the look on his face through the clouded image.
“So, is purple hair the new thing?”
I smiled. “Something I was trying out. I didn’t think you’d noticed.”
“Hmmm,” Logan said thoughtfully but didn’t expound. My breath caught when he reached a hand up toward my hair, only to drop it to his side a moment later.
“I’ll let you be alone now.” His voice was still soft but hollow.
I tried not to let myself feel disappointed. I nodded. Logan left as soundlessly as he had appeared.
My reflection mocked me. Each gentle wave distorted the image just as it was beginning to settle. The image of a girl I still didn’t know. Who was she? I could count everything I knew about her on my two small hands.
I let out a harsh breath in ex
asperation and used the toe of my shoe to kick a pebble into the water. The stone slapped the face of the girl looking back at me and sent wild ripples out into the placid lake. Each ripple produced a sweet note of song, eventually fading into the stillness. I didn’t want to feel so alone anymore.
As if the wind knew my thoughts, a soft breeze blew from behind, bringing with it the faint sounds of celebration. Involuntarily, something inside me responded yet again. A nudge told me I wasn’t alone, I hadn’t been forgotten, I did have people who cared about me.
In my mind’s eye, I saw friends. Romona with her peaceful and gentle spirit, Kevin with his good and kind heart, joyous Alrik, patient and beautiful Kaitlin, and Logan with his steadfastness.
My heart’s desire was to soften, but a ball of bitterness tightened around it instead. Wouldn’t a God who truly loved me want to comfort me Himself? Why would He make me go through this alone? Why would He give me a task that was so obviously beyond my skills?
The sweet music from the dance still tugged at my soul, but I turned instead and walked the other direction, away from my friends, away from the comfort, and headed back to my empty tree to be alone.
17
Romona’s Apology
“Hi, can we talk?”
I rubbed my eyes to wipe the sleep from them, leaving a black smear across the back of my hand. Shoot, I must have smudged mascara all over my face.
My hazy brain took a moment to register that Romona was standing in my open doorway.
“Oh, ah, yeah, come on in.”
She looked at me strangely.
It took me a second to realize how awful I must look in the crumpled dress with my hair all over the place, and a mess of black mascara and eye shadow smeared across my face. “Oh right, give me a second to get this off, will you?”
Romona sat gingerly on a sofa chair and patiently waited for me to pull myself together. Although silent, her face still projected that strange look. I must look really bad.
Standing in front of the mirror, I splashed water on my face. My reflection shocked me fully awake. It wasn’t just the makeup smear or the disheveled clothes that had Romona transfixed—it was my hair. The wavy mass that wildly protruded from my head had been transformed to jet black and fire-engine red.