Ashes to Ashes

by M. J. Padgett

  “Cecily? What’s wrong?” Dannie’s protective mode kicked in, and she was by my sister’s side without hesitation when her tears began to fall. Dannie looked to me, at a loss.

  “She and Brian broke up. It’s been... tough.”

  “What?!” She straightened up and looked from me to Cecily several times. “What on earth happened?”

  “It’s a long story,” Cecily said, sniffling. “But it’s for the best. It’s good to get it over with now rather than later I guess.”

  Dannie pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, a surefire sign she was angry. Dannie was always the type to jump to help her friends even if we couldn’t always return the favor. Sometimes, that support was as simple as hating on the same guys. In Brian’s case, it wasn’t entirely unreasonable for him to want out, but it didn’t stop the pain of the break-up. Dannie didn’t really care what Brian’s reasons were. She’d hate him until the day he died on principle alone.

  “I’ve got a gallon of ice cream and a bag of chocolate chip cookies. Go get dufus and let’s spend the next hour trash talking all our exes,” Dannie insisted, gently stroking Cecily’s hair until she was nearly soothed into a trance. She nodded and went to retrieve Jack from my room. Once she was out of earshot, Dannie groaned.

  “He’s an idiot. What happened?”

  “It truly is a long story, but I think it comes down to wanting different things in life,” I said as I pulled the bowls from the cabinet. From the corner of my eye, I saw her shaking her head in disgust, but she said nothing more. My heart was heavy knowing we may never see Dannie again. It hurt so much, I contemplated telling her the truth—the crazy, fantastic truth. Ultimately, I knew it would only put her life in danger. No, the only thing I could do was pray for her safety and try to keep my crazy life away from her.

  Jack and Cecily joined us, Jack far calmer than he had been before. He was sad, probably feeling bad for Cecily. We sat on the living room floor with our bowls of ice cream, all prepared to smash our exes, but no one said a word. Jack stared into his bowl of melting ice cream. Cecily took tiny bites but mostly moved it around in the bowl.

  “Okay, break-ups suck, but why is everyone so quiet? Like, way quieter than I’ve ever seen you before?” she asked. She eyed each one of us, but her gaze settled on Cecily. “Out with it. I know it’s more than a broken heart, or have you two forgotten I can read you like a pair of books?” If she knew our deepest secrets, she’d probably return those books to where she found them.

  “Just tired. It’s been a long, emotionally exhausting day,” Cecily replied.

  “Same,” Jack replied, but I had a feeling his silence had a lot more to do with fear he’d say all the wrong things. I had to construct a lie to explain why we would be leaving, and why it would be so long—possibly forever. We hardly had any money, so a lavish trip would be suspicious. I was pondering the possibilities when Cecily took over the reins.

  “We’re going to be out of town for a while.”

  I almost choked on my ice cream but recovered and wiped my mouth. Cecily appeared unfazed, but Jack sat ramrod straight in his chair like a suspicious little monkey, so I nudged him. He went from one extreme to the next, slouching over his bowl and shoveling food into his mouth.

  “Didn’t you guys just go on an overnight trip?” Dannie asked curiously.

  “Yeah. Our aunt asked us to come back for winter break,” Cecily replied. “We haven’t had a real vacation in... well, ever. She wanted to do something nice for us.”

  “Your honorary aunt? Your mom’s old friend?”

  “Yes,” Cecily and I answered in unison.

  “Oh, okay, but don’t forget I’m leaving in two weeks. How’s the roommate search going?” Dannie asked. This time her gaze settled on Jack. I’d swear she was trying to send him telepathic messages, forgetting Jack couldn’t pick up on a hint if it smacked him in the face—which I also thought she might do if he didn’t respond.

  “Jack said he’d do it,” I said before Cecily came up with something I knew I’d never recall when necessary.

  “I did?” he asked, but after looking at my face, he realized I was trying to make something up. “Oh, yeah! Roommates. Got it. Yeah, I did that.”

  “Seriously reconsidering letting you have ice cream,” Dannie joked, then tried to steal his bowl. He didn’t put up much fight since it was empty. She rolled her eyes and dropped her spoon in her own bowl. “Well, it’s been fun kiddies, but I do need to start packing my things.”

  “Okay, don’t forget you have the early shift tomorrow,” I reminded.

  She grumbled something about the diner being a stupid and annoying waste of her time, then dropped her dirty dishes into the sink. She wandered down the hall to her bedroom and shut the door, so she could blast her music without disturbing us.

  “This is a train wreck in the making,” Jack said, finally relaxing.

  “Tell me about it,” Cecily said, leaning against the sofa. She let out a long, slow breath, holding back more tears.

  “A train wreck is like, see, if we keep acting crazy, Dannie will find out. If she finds out, then we’ll have to take her along, and I don’t think that will end well, which will lead to something else going wrong, then...”

  Cecily shook her head. “Jack, I didn’t mean actually tell me about it, it’s an expression.”

  “It’s a stupid expression, then,” Jack said.

  “How have you survived life this long?” Cecily asked.

  “With sunshiny happiness and this adorable face,” he replied with a scrunched nose, pointing to his chubby little cheeks.

  “You are adorable, aren’t you?” I asked, pinching my best friend’s cheeks.

  “Don’t let your long-lost husband hear you say that,” he teased.

  “Ely is not my husband, well... ugh, I don’t even know, Jack,” I whined.

  “Just because it was a zillion years ago, doesn’t mean he’s not your husband now. Just like that other girl, what was her name? Cali... Carnie... California or something,” Jack asked.

  “Calla? How do you get California... you know what, forget it,” Cecily said, then turned to me? “He’s not wrong, though, Si?”

  I hesitated but decided keeping with the truth was best.

  “He was, but something happened, and I guess we’re not now? I have no idea, but I don’t think that’s really the most important thing to be concerned about right now,” I told Cecily, not wishing to share the details that Ely had given me with anyone, not yet anyway. Things were already difficult with the information Cecily had. I had no desire to pile any more on.

  “Whatever, he’s probably saying that, so you don’t freak out and run away. I mean, I’d run. He’s like a little stalker dude,” Jack said.

  “Keep on, and I’ll make you sleep on the sofa instead of in my room,” I threatened, causing him to grumble.

  “Right, because the futon in there is so much better.”

  Things sort of naturally died down from there with a few more jokes and sarcastic comments, but we were exhausted and needed sleep. Jack stayed over often, basically whenever Cecily or I got scared—which was all the time since Jack loved horror films and made us watch them religiously.

  I was glad I didn’t need to voice that I wanted him to stay. He just kind of knew, but I did wish I had a better futon. Every time he rolled over it creaked and groaned under his weight, not that I was getting any sleep, anyway. I wanted to sleep, heaven knows I wanted to, but every time I closed my eyes I imagined getting killed a dozen different ways by Cinderella—once when her carriage ran over me.

  I stared at the ceiling for a while, then rolled on my side and stared at the wall, then the ceiling again. At some point, the exhaustion took over, and I drifted to sleep.

  “Saskia, we can’t do this. You’re meant to be the queen of your kingdom. I cannot ask you to run away with me.” Eliot’s eyes were intense, dark and hazy. He spied my footlocker that I’d packed with a few essentials, clothing, and me
mentos I couldn’t live without.

  “My sister will be a better queen, you’ll see. Besides, I cannot and will not marry him. It’s not what I want, Eliot. I want you. I love you, and I will marry you even if we have to run to the other side of the world to do it!”

  “The earth is flat dear, we can only run so far,” he said with a chuckle.

  “Hogwash! The sun and moon are spherical so one could assume as the ancient Greeks did. The earth is round, dear Eliot, and we will travel to the other side of it if need be!”

  “He’s a good man, Saskia. He will provide you with a happy life, I’m sure.”

  “Well good for him. He can marry my sister, then. Do you not love me enough to let me make my own choices?”

  “Of course, but you know as I do, your father has plans to merge your kingdom with—”

  “He still can! Corinna is in love with him, how can I marry the man my sister loves? How can I marry him when I love another? It’s not fair to me, to Corinna, or to him, and my father will get used to it!” I stomped away, dragging my footlocker behind me.

  “You won’t get far on foot, love,” he said, taking the other end of it. “At least let me get the horses.”

  I turned to gauge his sincerity, and it was there. He’d given in. He would go with me. “You’re coming? Are you giving me what you’ve promised, Eliot?”

  He snickered and said, “Don’t I always give in to you? Now, go, before the guards see us!”

  We rode for hours, leaving both our kingdoms behind us as we headed toward the uncharted wilderness. I shivered at the thought of entering Das Unbekannte, but we had no other way if we were to go south.

  We stopped by a small brook to refresh the horses and rest. He leaned against a tree and began to tear apart a loaf of bread. He handed me a chunk, and we ate together in silence until our bellies were full.

  “We should put a few more hours behind us before we settle for sleep. I’ll feel more comfortable once we’ve left the forest,” Ely said, but it was too late.

  The guardsmen were on us an instant later, dragging us apart. I knew they wouldn’t harm him, he was a prince after all, but he was not the prince I was betrothed to. Guards from my father’s royal army pulled me away, while Eliot struggled against those of the Salien Royal Guard.

  “Eliot!” I screamed, clawing at the guardsman who’d deposited me on his horse to drag me back home.

  “Just go Saskia! I love you!” he yelled, still fighting against the men from his own kingdom. His father would be angry he’d been placed in a position to beg for forgiveness from his closest ally and friend, something he’d already had to do a dozen times where Eliot and I were concerned.

  I fought against the guard until I was exhausted.

  I sat straight in my bed, sweating profusely and impossibly tangled in the bed sheets. I glanced at Jack who was sitting up on the rickety futon staring at me.

  “Are you okay? You just had a major freak out fight with your bedsheets, and you were screaming for someone named Eliot, Ely I guess,” he said.

  I steadied my breathing and checked the time. Just after two. “I’m fine. Sorry, I woke you.”

  I ran my hand through my tangled, sweaty hair but only made a bigger mess of it. Jack continued to stare at me, but I didn’t know where to begin explaining what I’d just dreamed... seen... I couldn’t be sure exactly what it was.

  “What was that all about? A nightmare?” He was wide awake now, so I tried to gather the right words to explain what woke me.

  “I’m not sure what it was, but it was so real. It felt like...” What did it feel like? It was too vivid to be a dream, but it wasn’t something I remembered happening. “It felt like a memory, but it couldn’t be. Could it? Could memories of who I was before somehow appear in my dreams?”

  He shrugged his shoulders and pushed his blankets off.

  “How would I know? I’m a mere mortal who is largely unprepared and ill-equipped to understand half of this, but I will tell you this,” he said. “I’m your ally through thick and thin, Sierra. I’m in your corner, and that means you can tell me anything, even if it sounds totally insane.”

  He came to sit on the edge of my bed, knowing me well enough to know something was bothering me whether I stated it outright or not. And something was definitely bothering me. It was more than the shift, more than the idea of being the rightful queen of a fairy tale land, and more than the fear of what Cinderella had in store for me. But what it was, I could not pin down to save my life—literally.

  “What’s going on in here?” He pointed to my head and spoke softly, reminding me why I always looked at him as a brother figure. He just knew like a brother would.

  I sighed. “I’m freaking out. My brain keeps telling me this whole thing is a scam, a shenanigan that will leave me penniless and homeless before it’s over with. My brain is usually pretty on top of things,” I admitted.

  “What about here?” He pointed to my heart.

  “I think it’s part of the reason I’m freaking out. I feel things I shouldn’t feel for a man I only met yesterday in the strangest way possible. If you add the fact he’s the prince of a land where Snow White lived, and that I’m from where Cinderella lives, plus the fact that I keep accidentally lighting things on fire with my touch, I’m kinda losing my grip on reality, Jack. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that. I can light things on fire now.”

  I realized I was gripping his shirt tightly, but he made no move to free himself. Instead, he draped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed tightly. He cleared his throat, but I could tell he was trying to cover a chuckle.

  “First, let’s put a pin in the whole lighting things on fire part, because I feel like I’m going to need a lot of explanation there. Now, let’s move on to this weird Ely guy who has issues with very-well defined personal bubbles, and—wait, what on earth made you marry this guy the first time around?”

  “Jack—”

  “I’m kidding. Well, I’m not exactly. We’re discussing that later, too, but right now I’m just trying to lighten the mood. In all seriousness, if what he and the others say is true, and you really did love him centuries ago...” he paused, thinking, then said, “Maybe the heart knows things the mind forgot?”

  “I understand what you’re trying to say, but it’s just all-consuming. It’s like Ely is the only thing my mind can focus on right now, and shouldn’t I be a little less concerned about a man, and more concerned about the evil queen who wants to kill me?” I asked, finding it funny that Jack could be both the goofiest and the wisest human being I’d ever met. One second, he was eating Fruity Bits straight from the box with a spoon, the next he was reading my very soul.

  He let the chuckle loose then and dropped his chin on the crown of my head.

  “How is this even possible? How did we end up here?” I asked.

  “How is any of this possible? How do you turn into a wolf? By the way, I totally need to see how you do that. How do humans manage to survive in a world where these things exist and never know how close they are? How do the sun and moon and earth not collide in orbit? How is it that Fruity Bits have no fruit? How is anything possible, Sierra?”

  “I hope those are all rhetorical questions because my brain already hurts enough,” I said, falling back onto my pillow.

  He fell beside me, staring at the ceiling filled with stupid, glowing stars he’d stuck up there as a prank, but never could get off. I found myself wishing he were my actual, biological brother. I loved him beyond reason, and I had no doubt he felt the same about Cecily and me. I rolled my head to rest on his shoulder, and he began to play with my hair.

  “You care for him, and that’s okay, Sierra.”

  “He insists I loved him, but I can’t possibly be in love with him now, right? That’s ridiculous thinking, that’s what it is,” I said.

  “I find it funny that you’re willing to allow this man to drag us halfway around the world. You trust him with your life but not your heart?” he asked
.

  “Well, yeah. I mean, if Ely gets me killed it’ll only hurt for a little while. If he breaks my heart, that hurts forever, Jack. Besides, he only just remembered me, how can we be in love in a day?”

  “Love doesn’t know what time is, Si. Love only knows when it’s found its mirror image, so stop worrying about silly things and just let the man love you. You deserve happiness more than anyone in the world.”

  I snuggled closer to him, my eyes growing heavy again. “Love you, Jack.”

  “I love you, too, Si.”

  “Well, isn’t that sweet?” a deep, male voice said from the darkened corner of the room.

  We both sat straight in the bed, scrambling to grab anything we could to protect ourselves against the intruder. Jack jerked my bedside lamp free from the wall and positioned himself between me and the dark lump of a person standing in the corner. If we tried to escape through the door, the stranger would catch us in an instant. The window was out of the question unless we wanted to fall three stories to our deaths. The man chuckled heartily and choked, almost as if he were trying to catch his breath to speak, but I couldn’t see in the dark. Unfortunately, Jack had destroyed the only source of light within reach.

  “Who are you? How did you get in here? What do you want? Who sent you?” Jack fired off questions while wielding a two-foot tall table lamp.

  “I’m afraid you’ll have to repeat those questions at a much more reasonable rate if I’m to answer them,” the voice said, clearly German, but not Felix and definitely not Ely.

  The man took one step toward Jack and a shot of fear coursed through my body, not for me but for Jack. I felt my skin crawl, almost like it did just before I lit things on fire, but not quite the same. The man took another step, seemingly in slow-motion, but I knew that wasn’t the case. It was my mind slowing things down, measuring the distance between myself and the intruder, sizing him up as I would large prey in my wolf... that was it! The feeling was the tingle! Who needed Jack’s lamp when I had fangs? I allowed the feeling to wash over me. I let it spread through my arms and legs until I felt it hit the pit of my stomach.