Love Me or Miss Me

by Dream Jordan

  “Oh, I don’t mind,” I replied, really meaning it. Shoot, I was just happy to be out and about with Percy, grateful that he was actually willing to rock me out in the streets. Most guys don’t try to date you, they’re too busy trying to do you; from day one, their main agenda is to get you to the crib and get the skins.

  Percy was racking up so many points with me. And when we boarded the number 3 train, he racked up even more by asking, “So tell me, Kate, what’s your favorite thing to do?”

  Wow, what a guy, I thought. Percy was showing so much interest in getting to know me. Such a rare situation. My goodness! How could I not be impressed?

  “Well, let’s see.… I love basketball,” I began, “and writing, and reading, and bugging out with my best friend, Felicia—”

  “Whoa now,” exclaimed Percy, in between chuckles. “I only asked for one thing.”

  I smiled, and thought to ask him the same question. It can’t be all about me all the time.

  Percy put his finger to his chin as if in deep thought and said, “Well, my favorite thing to do is … being with you.”

  “Aw,” I said, beaming, “that was cute.”

  We got off the train at Chambers Street, and then waited for the number 1 to South Ferry. When the train finally came, Percy and I got on board, grinning up in each other’s face. We continued grinning all the way until South Ferry, the last stop. Holding hands, we walked up what felt like a hundred flights of stairs, and made it out into the open air. The sun was shining, the weather was warm—what more could a girl ask for?

  We walked toward a huge terminal where a bunch of people were flowing out.

  “I hope there’s not a long line,” said Percy. “Don’t want us to miss the next boat.”

  “Boat?” My eyes lit up. I hadn’t even bothered to think about where Percy was taking me. I was just so happy to be with him. But now I was ecstatic. We were about to ride a boat! See the city sights! This was the kind of touristy thing Felicia and I used to do all the time—before Marlon came along.

  We stepped inside the terminal. The line was perfectly short. Five minutes later, we boarded a big white boat. Percy guided me to the railing, and stood behind me, holding my waist, as we sailed away from the pier.

  “Ever heard of Governors Island?” he asked.

  “Nope.”

  “It used to be a Coast Guard military base. Now it’s like a public park.”

  “Wow,” I said, feeling amped and giddy. I always wanted to do a date in the park. Now I was finally getting my chance.

  “I was supposed to join the Marines last year,” Percy suddenly volunteered. “But my mother needed help with the store.” His face clouded over.

  Oh no, here we go. His mother, again.

  I always felt so torn when people complained about their parents. A part of me wanted to cuss them out for complaining, thinking at least they weren’t discarded at birth the way my drug-addicted parents did me. The other part of me knew the sad truth: not every parent is meant to be. And sometimes you’re better off not knowing who you come from. Blood ain’t always thicker than water. Shoot, I’d take Ted, Lynn, Felicia, Tisha as my family any day; immerse myself in their real love instead of crying over fake blood.

  In any case, who was I to judge? If Percy had to vent, let him vent. You never know what someone is going through until you’re actually walking in their shoes. Percy looked so sad right now. It was amazing how the mere mention of his mother affected his mood so easily.

  In an attempt to comfort him, I gently touched his arm, looked up into his beautiful light brown eyes, and said, “But if you had joined the Marines, I probably would have never had the chance to see you again.”

  A smile crept over Percy’s lips. Instead of responding, he just gave me a hug, a big warm hug, and it felt so good. I loved how affectionate he was toward me. Percy didn’t know how much I needed his affection right now. And I wasn’t about to tell him. I was learning to keep some things to myself. Sometimes, boys use your confessions against you when thing go wrong. Percy didn’t seem like the type to go sour on me, sweet as he was … but hey, you never know.

  “Can you ride a bike?” asked Percy.

  “Yeah … but I never owned one.”

  “Well, guess what we’re about to do.”

  “Ride bikes?” I exclaimed. “Oh, that’s what’s up! I haven’t ridden a bike in a minute.” I was feeling so excited and antsy, like a five-year-old child.

  As soon as we got off the boat, Percy made a beeline for a parking lot filled with a bunch of shiny blue and gold bikes. I was about to pick my own, but Percy said no, and pointed to a two-seater bike with a canopy on top. Oh, how cute.

  “We can ride together,” he explained. “I want you sitting right next to me.” He winked at me. Like a shy doofus, I glanced downward, feeling all coy and girly. I swear, I wasn’t used to this.

  Percy paid for our two-seater, and off we went! The island was so picturesque; even with its abandoned brick buildings and occasional rocky pavement, there were so many hilly green lawns to admire throughout, so much history to learn about. We circled the whole perimeter of the island, taking our sweet time, talking, laughing, and pedaling away.

  When we returned the bikes, our stomachs were audibly growling. We cracked up laughing, and started searching for food. Found a Jamaican lady selling good-smelling grub from her truck, which was parked on the grass.

  Percy bought us a huge plate of rice, beans, baked chicken, and fried plantains. I couldn’t wait to dig in. We went hunting for a spot to eat. Found a perfect picnic table under a perfect tree. Instead of sitting opposite me, Percy squeezed in right beside me, making sure our legs touched. He reminded me of Charles when he did that. But that’s where the comparison ended. Percy was a perfect gentleman; Charles, a perfect player.

  Percy handed me my fork, and we ate our food from the same plate. Such a romantic situation. I was self-conscious about my eating, though. Didn’t want to be talking with my mouth full. Couldn’t have any food stuck between my teeth. Everything Percy did was smooth and refined. I wanted to impress him, show him I had some class, too.

  After lunch, we walked around the entire island. We stopped at a colonial house that had been turned into a museum, and admired all of the colorful artwork inside. Once outside, we sat down on a random bench, and Percy grabbed both of my hands and held them for a long time. “I’m having such a good time with you.”

  “Same here,” I replied, staring into his magnetic light-brown eyes.

  When it was time to leave, I didn’t want to go. I wanted the boat to leave us behind, so we could be left alone on this beautiful island. This was the best day I had ever experienced in my whole entire life. And that’s real talk.

  “Thanks for taking me here,” I said.

  “Thanks for appreciating it.”

  Once on the boat, we stood in the same position as before, me leaning against the rails, Percy standing behind me, holding me close. I dissolved into his arms.

  And when we rode the number 1 train, same idea, different position. His strong arms around my shoulders as I leaned up against his sexy chest.

  When we were about to part ways, Percy asked, “Are you sure I can’t call you at the group home?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  It wasn’t the staff or the bogus rules I was worried about. It was Makeba and her motley crew who would be blocking me from my potential boo.

  Percy touched my shoulder and massaged it while saying, “But I need to stay in touch with you, sweetheart.”

  “I know,” I replied, “I really wish things were different.”

  Percy paused in deep thought, heaved a big sigh, and then said, “Listen, stop by the store tomorrow at six o’clock. Wait for me across the street because I don’t want my mom in my business. Can you do that for me?”

  “Yes, I can,” I said, feeling alive inside. Percy was really gunning to see me again. And the feeling was so mutual.

  Percy l
eaned in and gave me a soft sensuous kiss on my awaiting lips. “I’m looking forward to next time.”

  “Me, too.”

  He grinned at me and said, “Yeah, I can see myself with you for a long, long time.”

  I timidly looked down at the sidewalk, stunned by the intensity Percy radiated inside my soul. He bent down to kiss me again. His kiss lingered on my lips all night long.

  Chapter 12

  As I waited for Percy across the street from his store, the powerful July sun beat down on me. I was hot as blazes, sweating through my t-shirt, feeling smothered by the humidity in the air.

  I was a half hour early because I didn’t want to be late, but I couldn’t take the choking temperature much longer. I impatiently eyed the Fulton Street Market, wanting to run inside to escape the heat, but not while his batty mother was in the building.

  Thankfully, at six o’clock on the dot, Percy emerged from the store. He was wearing a fresh white button-down short-sleeved shirt, beige linen shorts, and tan grown-man sandals. I didn’t dig the sandals, but he looked really nice otherwise. Meanwhile, I was rocking a plain white T-shirt, baggy blue shorts, and my dollar-store flip-flops. Oh well.

  Percy came across the street to greet me. He smiled slightly, hugged me tightly, and led me around the corner, away from his mother’s line of sight.

  Dead in the middle of the block, he stopped short, and started tonguing me down, taking me way off guard. He had given me no chance to even pop a mint! I hoped my breath wasn’t kicking.

  Guessed my breath was acceptable because Percy moved me up against the brick wall of an apartment building, and started getting at me again. Percy and I were acting out a love scene on the sidewalk. I melted into his strong arms, feeling so wanted, so needed, so happy to be with him. I was starving for his affection. A whole year of no hugs and kisses had me feeling deprived.

  Now I was completely revived.

  Percy finally released my waist and said, “I missed you.”

  I smiled at him, shyly. I didn’t want to say “Missed you, too.” This sounded too sappy for me. I needed some time getting used to this lovey-dovey stuff. Everything was happening so fast. But can I tell you? I was loving every minute of it.

  Percy grabbed my hand and steered me farther down the block to his car. Once inside the Avenger, Percy pumped the air conditioner. The cold air felt so good blowing on my skin.

  Percy turned to me and said, “I was hoping you’d wear something sexy. I wanted to take you out somewhere really nice today.”

  “Then why not let a girl know?” I wanted to say. But instead, I simply said, “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  Shucks, the concept of getting all dressed up to go on a date was straight-up foreign to me. Besides, I didn’t think I needed to dress up. Percy was feeling me the last time he saw me in my simple-as-can-be outfit, so I assumed he’d be feeling me in a similar getup. My bad.

  Percy was still looking disappointed when he said, “Anyway, I have something for you.” He leaned over to open the glove compartment, and pulled out a shiny pink BlackBerry Pearl.

  My eyes lit up like Christmas. “For me?” I asked, surprised out of my mind. “Are you sure?”

  “It’s nothing, sweetheart,” said Percy, placing the phone in my hand. “My ex-girl’s phone. All I had to do was turn it back on. She didn’t appreciate it … but I know you will.”

  “Wow, thanks,” I said, smiling so hard my cheeks hurt. I didn’t think I’d own a celly till I turned eighteen. Percy was going hard for your girl, Kate!

  Even though I’d already been warned that it’s not good to accept early gifts from guys, I wasn’t trying to give this phone back for nothing in the world. Call me stupid, call me crazy, but at least you could call me on my own phone for a change!

  “Anytime you need me, I’m just a phone call away,” said Percy.

  Holla!

  I happily toyed with the buttons of my new phone; it felt like gold in my hands. I couldn’t wait to call Felicia with it. Now I would be able to talk to my homegirl outside of the group home without having some silly chicks breathing down my back. Shoot, I could dial my girl’s number till my fingers turned black and blue.

  “There’s no data plan on the phone yet,” Percy explained, “but if you behave, I’ll add it for you later.”

  “So how do you make calls?” I asked.

  Percy looked at me like I was an alien, took the phone, and showed me the basics. When I finally got a clue, he gave me back the phone. Then he gripped the steering wheel and gunned the engine. “Which train is better for you to get home?”

  Hm, I had to think about that. The F train was better for me, but its closest station was miles away, in Downtown Brooklyn. I didn’t expect Percy to drive me all the way downtown, so I told him the A train at Utica was fine.

  “The A train goes to Gravesend?” he asked, with raised eyebrows.

  “No, but I can transfer to the F train at Jay Street.”

  “Sweetheart, I asked which train is better for you,” said Percy.

  “The F … but that’s way downtown,” I explained. “I don’t want to take you out of your way.”

  Percy chuckled. “You’re sweet, but hardheaded. Did I ask you all that?”

  “No.”

  “Okay then,” he said, a bit abruptly.

  “I was just trying to be helpful.”

  “And I appreciate that. As a matter of fact, I would’ve taken you all the way home if I could, but I just remembered I have to go handle some business.” Percy paused for a moment, and then added, “But the next time I ask you a question, just give me a simple answer, okay?” Now, a bit of bass in his voice.

  I was taken aback. There was no need for him to be getting snappy. Normally, if somebody snaps on me for no reason, I’m snapping back in under sixty seconds. But I didn’t want the hard-core part of me to scare Percy away. I had already shown him how “Rocky” gets down, kicking him in the family jewels and whatnot. No doubt he felt the power of what I could do. So I wanted Percy to feel my softer side, the loving side of Kate. I finally had a man in my life who seemed to really care about me, so why should I ruin things over a silly misunderstanding?

  “You catch the F at Jay Street, right?” asked Percy.

  “Jay Street is perfect,” I said.

  Percy clicked on the radio. I sat in silence, looking out my window, a little pissed, but fighting the feeling.

  As we cruised by Fulton Park, I spotted Charles posted up on the corner with his boys. I wanted to jump out the car to tell him sorry about Saturday, but I had a feeling Percy wouldn’t like that. So I turned my head, and stared dead ahead.

  When we pulled up in front of the Jay Street station, Percy boldly double-parked beside a police car. He jumped out the car, walked around it to open my door, and pulled me up out of my seat. Then he leaned me up against the back car door and wrapped me up into his arms. With his soft juicy lips, he planted a long juicy kiss. “Call me as soon as you get home,” said Percy. “And don’t let anybody see your new phone.”

  “I won’t,” I replied. I was way ahead of Percy in that regard, already planning a place to hide it. I trusted no one. Not even Jeselle. Been robbed in too many group homes to be letting my valuables hang loose.

  As soon as I got home, I made a beeline for the bathroom. There was a cleaning cabinet, clearly not in use, with a bunch of stale cleaning products, buckets, and rags stuffed inside. Cool. I planned to stash my Blackberry there. Keep my phone in quiet mode, use a plastic soap storage box as a protective case, and then I’d wrap up the case in one of the rags. This tacky arrangement would have to do until I figured something else out.

  Later that night, I checked my phone to see if Percy had called. Turned out, he had texted me three hours earlier. He must have hit me up as soon as he dropped me off at the train station. How very sweet and attentive of him, I thought.

  I MISS YOU ALREADY.

  MISS YOU TOO.

  I WROTE YOU HOURS AGO.:(
/>   SORRY. JUST GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

  I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU. I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME.

  SORRY, I DIDN’T GET THE CHANCE. BUT I’M OK. HOME SAFE.

  GLAD YOU’RE OK. CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

  SAME HERE.

  GNIGHT, BABY.

  GNIGHT.

  Chapter 13

  On Friday evening, I was locked up in the bathroom, checking my phone. A text from Percy was waiting for me.

  CAN I SEE YOU TOMORROW AT FIVE?

  YES.

  LOOK FLY FOR ME, BABY.

  OKAY.

  But, oh no! How could I look fly? I had no fly gear in my closet. Maybe some flies, but not any fly gear. What was a broke broad to do?

  I flew out of the bathroom, and headed to my bedroom, gearing up to hunt for an outfit. But I stopped short at the sight of Mrs. Cooper, perched on the edge of my bed. My first thought was: Why is she still here? Her old butt should’ve been gone for the day.

  “Kate, I need to see you in my office,” she said.

  My heart dropped down to my feet.

  As I sat inside of Mrs. Cooper’s cluttered office, wringing my hands, mad nervous, I wondered what the heck she wanted. The radio was pumping religious music. The fan sitting on her desk blew dusty air all over the place. I wished Mrs. Cooper would open the freaking window. Instead, she closed the door behind her. “Don’t look so worried,” she said with a raspy chuckle.

  I flashed a nervous smile, nervous because random office visits never meant good news.

  “Kate, I want you to know I’ve been thinking about your situation ever since you arrived,” began Mrs. Cooper, holding a pencil to her mouth.

  And?

  “I understand you’re on the fast track to success, while the girls here are … well, they could still use some guidance. The only reason you were placed here is because of a shortage of beds at another facility better suited for you.”

  My ears perked up. When, oh when, could I pack my bags?

  “I just wanted you to know that you’re at the top of the Green Hills’ waiting list. They’re expecting a free bed by September.”