Cocky Gamer: A Hero Club Novel

by Lauren Helms

  “No,” I breathe. I have to stop doing this to myself.

  The man takes a step closer. One step, two. Then a third as the water hits my thighs. I grip my board as I realize the man slowly approaching me is, in fact, Ben.

  My heart crashes against my chest like a head-on collision. My head spins, the water splashing against me as I stumble back a step. But I center myself and keep walking. There’s no more water, just soft, wet sand under my feet. He’s moving toward me now, with no hesitation.

  My breathing is labored, and I try to gain control as we stop in front of each other, feet apart. I turn my board and lean it into the sand, using it to help me remain vertical.

  “Kelly.” His voice is exactly as I remember it. And it packs a punch right down in my lower belly. His smile, his face. Taking him in—a man I haven’t seen in six weeks but have only dreamed about—causes my ovaries to twist with need. Fucking hell, get yourself together, woman.

  “Ben.” My voice is breathy and shaky. His eyes are wide, focused on me. His lips tip up on one side. I slowly reach my hand out and press my shaking fingers against his right shoulder. Feeling him beneath my fingers, I know he’s real. Without taking his eyes off me, he reaches up and closes his hand over mine. My eyes drop to where our hands touch, his warmth wrapping around me like a bubble.

  “Are you worried I’m not real?” His low, deep voice jerks my gaze back to his.

  “Yeah, I guess so,” I murmur.

  “I’m very much real, Kel.” My nickname is easy on his lips.

  “What are you doing here?” I search his face.

  “On this beach or in California?” He chuckles and a flurry of flutters fills my tummy.

  “Both.” Dropping my hand from his body, I lean into my board again. His being here makes me dizzy. I just spent more than an hour out in the water. Now, with my feet back on dry land, I still feel like I’m feeling the motion of the ocean.

  “Let’s sit. I don’t want you to eat sand.” He leans forward and takes my board from me, placing it gently next to me as I plop down in the sand. He steps to the other side of me, sinking to the ground. He kicks off his sandals and stretches his long legs out in front of him. I cross my legs, feeling the sand as it clings to my wet body.

  I feel his eyes on me as I slowly turn my face toward him. “Why aren’t you in New York?”

  He takes a breath before speaking. “I didn’t take the job.”

  I suck in a breath, my eyebrows raising in surprise. “What?”

  He nods, pulling his gaze away and looking out at the water. “The job at Gallant wasn’t what I wanted. I was settling. I was trading too many perfect things for a job I didn’t want in a city I didn’t want to be in.”

  “Where did you want to be?” My voice is shaky as I stare at his profile. His head slowly turns toward me, a sad grin on his face.

  “Where you are.”

  My breath hitches as he looks back at the ocean.

  “What happened?” I ask, just above a whisper.

  “I had my room packed up and ready to move when good ole Garland called me and told me Lasso wanted to offer me a job. A full-time job that was right up my alley. So I took it.”

  I stop breathing. Literally, I have to force myself to take a breath.

  “You took the Lasso job.” I don’t ask. I say it more to myself, joining him in his stare out over the ocean.

  “I did.”

  We sit next to each other in quiet peace for a few minutes. Our shoulders brush, but we don’t touch. We don’t speak. I don’t ask the one question I want to because I’m scared of his answer. He shifts next to me, his hand finding mine in the sand between us.

  I feel his stare, and I turn to him and look into his eyes.

  “I’ve been living in Culver City for three weeks now. I didn’t have an apartment set up when I got here, so I lived out of my hotel for the first week. I stored all my stuff in Garland’s apartment until I found a place. I jumped right into my job, as I only got a week with the guy I was replacing. It’s been three long fucking weeks.” His laugh is low and unapologetic.

  I nod. “I’m happy you didn’t settle. I know what it’s like to settle. Hating your job sucks.” I swallow. “So that answers why you’re in California. I’d still like to know why you’re here right now.”

  His head tilts, a cocky smirk shining through his sadness. “I enjoy watching a certain surfer girl master the waves. I could watch her for hours.”

  I lean into him and bump into his shoulder. “Creeper.” I hold back a laugh, but I’m unable to contain the smile on my face.

  He dips his head, chuckling. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Kel. No matter what you wear, or if you’re hungover, or even right as you wake up. But when you’re out there,” he nods to the ocean, “you're fucking sexy as hell. You’re mesmerizing.”

  My cheeks heat as I pull my eyes away from him, unable to let him see how his compliment is affecting me. I feel his fingers under my chin as he pulls my face so I’m facing him. “I’m here on this beach because I couldn’t stay away a minute longer.”

  Looking into his eyes, I see desire and relief mixed with just a little bit of worry. I say his name, my voice trembling.

  “I’m not asking you to give me another chance. Do I want one? Hell yes, I do. But I’m not expecting one. I just wanted to see you again. I wanted to tell you in person that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” I close my eyes at his words. He leans into me, our foreheads touching.

  I take deep breaths, trying to calm my roaring heart. It’s not working, and I can’t stop the single tear that breaks free.

  A pained groan emits from his throat. “Baby, please don’t cry.”

  “I’m not.”

  I feel his thumb swipe away the rogue tear as he chuckles softly. “My bad. Must be ocean water then.”

  I nod, not lifting my head away from his.

  “Kelly?” My name is just above a whisper.

  “Hmm?” My eyes flutter open, finding his own eyes shut.

  “I’d really like to kiss you.” He opens his eyes then, catching my gaze as he smirks. Which makes me smile.

  “Then do it,” I challenge.

  So he does. His lips cover mine like a force to be reckoned with. He doesn’t waste time on gentle, soft, tentative kisses. His kiss is demanding as his tongue plunges into mine. I let him take it all because I want to give as good as I get. His answering moan has me wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into me.

  His hands are everywhere at once. One wraps around the back of my neck, then tangles through my hair. The other roams to my collarbone, then down to my breast. My back arches as he moves his hand back up to my neck, tilting my head so he can claim more of me. A distant whistle breaks through the blood pounding in my ears, and I slowly break our kiss. Our arms still embrace each other, and we both pant as we try to bring fresh sea air into our lungs.

  On a ragged breath, I tell him the truth. “I missed you.”

  “So damn much, Kel,” he adds. “Can I see you again? When you’re ready, of course. I’ll wait, I’ll take your lead. Just, please, tell me we can try again. I promised myself I wasn’t going to beg you, but after that kiss, I can’t just let you go without fighting.”

  “This is you fighting?” I mumble.

  “Get used to it. I’ll fight for you every damn day for the rest of our lives. I won’t give you up again, because I love you, Kelly.”

  I suck in a breath at his confession. “Promise?”

  “Always.” He kisses the tip of my nose.

  “I love you, Ben.” I lean in, kissing the side of his mouth as his lips grow into a smile.

  He whispers, “Say it again.”

  “I knew I was in a world of hurt that first night we spent together. I fell in love with you hard and fast. You’re this bad boy, sexy, sweet, and kind man. I love how you don’t look like a nerd, but are one through and through.” I kiss the other side of his mouth befo
re adding, “The best part of my day has always been when you’ve been a part of it.” Even over the roar of the ocean, and the voices and sounds behind us from the boardwalk, I still hear his breath hitch.

  “You giving me another chance, Kel?” he asks in a shaky voice.

  “No, I’m giving us another chance.” I smile, then kiss his mouth. When I pull away, he’s smiling and I’m smiling. We sit there, smiling at each other like loons.

  The beach is getting busy, and I realize it’s getting late. “Shit. I’m going to be late for work.” I move away from Ben as we both straighten. I push myself up and realize I’m covered in sand. My quick shower won’t be so quick now.

  “I’ve gotta get back to the city as well. When can I see you again?” His eyes are searching mine.

  “Can you show me your apartment? Tomorrow evening?” I ask, running through my calendar and remembering I have dinner plans with Aubrey and Chance tonight. I would cancel, as I have dinner with them once a week, but I’ll need to talk to Aubrey about Ben being back in my life. She isn’t his biggest fan at the moment.

  He nods his head with gusto. “Absolutely.”

  It’s as if he didn’t expect me to agree to see him so soon, but I giggle at his response.

  “Come on, walk me to my car.” Tucking my board under my arm, I hold out my other hand to him. He wastes no time threading his fingers with mine as we walk toward the parking lot.

  Just like that, a weight of dread and melancholy has been lifted off my shoulders. It’s as if all is right in the world now. My heart is full, and I can’t wait to see what the future brings.

  Epilogue

  Ben

  Nine months later…

  “Shit, that box was heavy.” I wipe the sweat off my forehead as I stretch my back.

  “What’s in it?” Garland leans over as he walks into the room and places a box on the floor next to it.

  “Fuck if I know. Kel, what’s in this box? It’s like two hundred pounds,” I yell over my shoulder. Kelly is standing in the middle of our brand-new kitchen, the sound of tape ripping off a box coming from the same room.

  “Just a sec,” she calls back moments before she appears next to us. She leans over, looking for something, then nudges it with her foot.

  “Oh, that’s all my smut and sex toys.” She looks up at me with an innocent grin as her eyes dart to Garland. I follow her gaze and see that his cheeks are pink as he stares down at the box.

  Clearing his throat, he croaks, “Ah, well, cool. Very good.” His head is bobbing up and down.

  I grin at his expression before punching him in the shoulder. “Stop picturing my girl with a dildo in her hands, you bastard.” Kelly laughs next to me, and Garland’s head whips toward me and then Kelly. He glares at us both and mutters something about us being assholes as he walks away.

  “Remember the free beer and pizza, man. Beer and pizza,” I tell his retreating back. He flips me the bird as he walks out of the apartment.

  I turn and pull Kelly into my arms as she’s still giggling beside me.

  “You’re evil, baby.” I smile, looking down at her.

  “You’re no better.” She grins. I lean down and kiss her, something I’ve gotten to do nearly every day for the past nine months. Starting today, I’ll be able to kiss her multiple times, whenever I want, every single fucking day.

  Because, today, we move into our own place together. About fucking time.

  We found a little bungalow not far from where Kelly was living over Aubrey and Chance’s garage, and we closed on it yesterday. Today, we started moving in.

  With help from our friends, we should have everything from my apartment in Culver City, and Kel’s place moved in before lunch. With Garland, Chance, and I bringing in box after box and taking care of all the heavy lifting, we’re tired. Kelly brings in what she can, but she’s started unpacking and putting together the kitchen. Aubrey doesn’t help with any lifting—she’s six months pregnant—but at the speed she and Kelly are working in the kitchen, they’ll be ready to move into another room in no time. Maybe we’ll have this house unpacked sooner than Kelly and I expected.

  “What’s really in the box?” I ask her before she moves from my embrace.

  “Just books.” She smiles, but I narrow my eyes. She rolls hers. “For real, books. I packed the toys in my purse to ensure they weren’t injured in the move.”

  She lifts up on her toes and kisses the tip of my nose before giving me a saucy grin and walking back into the kitchen.

  “Evil woman,” I say, and her answering, “You love it,” over her shoulder causes me to laugh and shake my head. I head back out the front door, which we’ve propped open, just as Chance walks through with a lamp and two tote bags.

  “Nice place you have here, mate.” He grins.

  “Thanks.” I slap his shoulder as he passes.

  The past several months have been great, truly. After that morning on the beach, when I told Kelly I was in Cali to stay, our relationship didn’t struggle to pick back up where we left off. We saw each other multiple times a week, the way normal couples who aren’t long distance start. But unlike a brand spanking new couple, we were getting a second chance to do things right. It was easy fitting into each other’s lives; nearly effortless. Scarily so. It was as if the universe were offering up some kind of massive fucking apology for the shit we went through to get where we needed to be. Which was in the same state, less than thirty miles from each other.

  Kelly and I started talking about moving in with each other a couple of months ago. We spent very little time figuring out where we would end up. I already knew I would live wherever Kelly was, and I also knew Kelly wanted the waves. So Hermosa is where we’ll be. My drive into Culver City is easy. With traffic, thirty minutes. But if I timed my commute right, I could miss traffic, making the drive in less than twenty. I knew this because I often spent the night in Hermosa. Leaving Kelly late at night after dinner and hot sex was nearly impossible. Every damn time. On mornings after I stayed the night, if Kelly surfed, I left early. If we decided to sleep in and have more fantastic sex, I dealt with traffic.

  My job at Lasso was everything I wanted when I thought about what I would do after pro gaming. The company, as I already knew, is great. My co-workers share the same love of the creation of video games that I do, which makes going to work each day enjoyable. I worried when I first took the job that I was going to burn a bridge with Gallant Gaming. But after being completely honest with them, that an opportunity I wasn’t expecting came up, I couldn’t pass on it. They were surprisingly understanding. I think they knew deep down, I didn’t want what they were offering.

  As I reach my car, I hear my phone ping with a text message. Before picking up the final box shoved in the very back of my trunk, I take a look at my phone and see I’ve gotten a text from Bernie about the group visiting when they’re out at E3 next week. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the team I left behind in Chicago, but we chatted on the regular. Kelly’s become good friends with Bernie and has been added to a group chat with the girlfriends and wives of my old team. Apparently, it’s a hell of a lot easier to foster a long-distance friendship than it is a relationship. But I love that my woman is involved with the women I respect and have considered friends for so many years.

  It will be nice to see my old friends, show them my new place, and catch up on everyone’s life. Bernie said they didn’t expect an unpacked house, but I know with Aubrey’s help, it’s Kelly’s mission to have this house put together and looking like a lived-in home before those Chicagoans showed up.

  Kelly took the week off from work using vacation days her boss forced her to take. Thankfully, after about two months of being back in Kelly’s life, Aubrey was Team Ben again. Which is what Kelly told me went down in the weeks before and after our breakup. Chance was Team Ben, and Aubrey was Team Kick Ben’s Ass. With the help of both Kelly and Chance, I was able to get back into her good graces.

  Several weeks into
our relationship, I invited the ladies—and Chance—to tour Lasso. To see where I work and meet some co-workers. That helped Aubrey big time—seeing I was really here and I wasn’t leaving. My commitment to being in Kelly’s life is never going to waver.

  I shove my phone into my back pocket and snag the final box. Balancing it on my hip, I slam the trunk shut. One of the first things I bought when I moved to Culver was a car. Dropping eighty bucks on an Uber one way to Hermosa wasn’t an issue when I was just visiting, but in the hopes I was going to get the opportunity to make that drive regularly, I knew I’d need to invest in a vehicle. Living in Chicago all my life, I never had a car. Yes, I knew how to drive. But I didn’t have a need for one. Having a car now, at nearly thirty, feels good. Owning a home feels good. Living with the love of my life feels fucking good. It’s only a matter of time before I’m officially making her mine. I have plans. They’ve already been set in motion.

  I walk through my front door, blinking to adjust to the loss of the bright sun. Chance is sprawled out on the couch, panting like an old man. He’s not, but since he’s six years older than me, it’s a fun taunt. Aubrey is waddling through the room, handing him a beer as she leans over the couch and kisses his forehead. Garland is hooking up the television. Kelly comes from down the hall, her soft smile lighting up the room as she sees me. I take several strides toward her, depositing the box on top of a stack three high.

  “Hey there, handsome.” She grins and wraps her arm around my waist.

  “Sexy lady.” We face the living room, taking in the space—our space. “This is a nice place you’ve got here, baby.”

  She nudges my side. “We’ve got it. And it is.”

  I look down at her as she tilts her head up, the distance between us not far. “You happy, Kelly?”

  “So very happy, Ben.” She rests her head on my shoulder.

  “Me too, baby. Me too.” I kiss the top of her head. She emits a soft sigh, and the sound alone is music to my ears. Suddenly, I’m wondering when we can kick these wonderful people out and start christening our brand-new house.