Bitter Sweet Kisses

by S M Mala

  ‘Then who was that woman?’ Sophie tried to remove his palms from her face but he wasn’t budging.

  ‘I passed out drunk in the hotel room. She’s an old friend called Val who helped me get back after a party. She was worried I was going to throw up all over myself.’ Harry closed his eyes before looking straight at her. ‘Why would I want anyone else when I’ve got you?’

  ‘Don’t fool me, Harry. If you do, it will break my heart, do you hear me? And it will break us.’

  And now she couldn’t stop the tears rolling down her cheeks and over his fingers.

  ‘You make me a better man, do you know that?’

  Somehow, Sophie wanted to believe him but wasn’t entirely convinced if anything could improve the already tainted Harry James.

  ‘Why would you say that?’

  Jonah was sitting in Harry’s office looking through some documents, not wanting to hear the web of lies he had told Sophie. ‘She just had a baby.’

  ‘I got caught on the off chance and was shitting myself,’ he replied, looking genuinely worried before smiling. ‘And she was mad.’

  ‘Harry, if you don’t want to be with her then do something about it. Leaving her hanging there until you get caught is bad. And you’re going to hurt her in the process.’

  ‘I love Sophie, don’t get me wrong. It’s been three weeks since that child was born. I know I haven’t said it enough, but thank you for being there for her. I could tell it had been a scary time. If anyone should have been there other than me, it should have been you. Helping my child into the world.’

  The smile from Harry was confusing as Jonah mulled something over.

  He hadn’t seen Sophie since the day Amelia was born.

  When he heard that Harry had returned, he realised it wasn’t his job or place to turn up without notice.

  But he desperately wanted to see mother and baby.

  More importantly, he would have liked to spend time with them alone, without Harry looking in. And hearing on how dismissively he described the beautiful child, he wondered if the man actually cared.

  ‘I took photos when Amelia was born,’ whispered Jonah, seeing Harry look up. ‘They’re really beautiful. Do you want to see?’

  ‘Not really,’ he replied, shrugging his shoulders. ‘Blood and gore isn’t my thing.’

  ‘Your wife and child together within minutes of being born should be your thing.’ Even Jonah noticed the accusing tone in his voice. ‘They came out in one piece so you should be thankful for that.’

  ‘No sex until her stitches heal up,’ he said pulling a face.

  ‘It’s worth the wait.’

  ‘Frankly, I don’t want to go down there,’ he said, shaking and looking disgusted. ‘It’s been harder since she got pregnant, to be honest.’

  ‘Really?’ Jonah didn’t know how to respond to the comment. ‘It’s special.’

  ‘Why should I satisfy her when I feel left out? Anyway, I get my own back. Since she got knocked up, Sophie doesn’t like her own taste.’ Then he laughed. ‘I kiss her hard afterwards so she has no choice but to taste.’

  Jonah wanted to scrunch up his face in response to the comment.

  He would have loved to kiss Sophie all over, being careful not to upset her.

  It would be wonderful.

  Sitting back in his chair, he watched Harry read something on his computer

  Harry’s comment about Sophie surprised him.

  Jonah knew those pictures were beautiful, and he was pleased to capture the essence.

  It was a magical moment he would never forget.

  ‘When do they want me to fly out?’ he asked, wondering what was going on in his agent’s mind. ‘And I’m not cancelling my holiday in December.’

  ‘January,’ he replied, with a bright smile. It was a happier one than when he was talking about Sophie and the baby. ‘7th to be precise and I’m joining you a few days later after we finalise the pictures for the book. New York, New York, so good they named it twice.’

  ‘What does Sophie say?’

  ‘I’m biding my time before breaking the news. I’ll need to get away by then. You know she’s thinking of having the baby christened. You’re God father, by the way.’

  ‘Really?’ He felt chuffed and tried to hide his smile. ‘When is she thinking about doing it?’

  ‘She asked me to ask you regarding dates you’re free. Then she can work around it with the Vicar. I have no say, obviously. Kay’s the God mother, so a small and sweet gathering.’ Harry let out a disgruntled sigh. ‘Can you talk to her directly?’

  ‘Sure. And everything else is good between you? You smoothed things over regarding the woman on the phone?’

  ‘What Sophie doesn’t know won’t hurt.’ Then he cleared his throat. ‘I knew she meant business because she asked for her apartment to stop being sub-let. My friend Chase, who owns the estate agents, told me.’

  ‘She was on the verge of giving birth,’ Jonah replied, surprised by the information. ‘Emotional and upset.’

  He noticed Harry stare at him before frowning.

  ‘Why haven’t you gone to visit, if you’re so concerned?’ He forced a smile and Jonah knew he shouldn’t wind up Harry, not with all the projects in the pipeline. ‘I thought you’d want to see how your God daughter was doing.’

  ‘I didn’t know she was until you told me.’

  Then he watched him reach for the phone.

  ‘Hello gorgeous,’ said Harry, a smile slowly appearing. ‘Jonah was wondering if he could pop round tomorrow evening. You didn’t tell him about your plans to make him a God father. I thought you might have informed him of the good news.’

  Jonah watched Harry look at his computer then write something down.

  ‘And he has some pictures of you and the baby,’ he continued. ‘Why don’t we invite him and Onya round for dinner tomorrow night?’ Harry tried not to laugh. ‘I see. Well, that’s going to be difficult as they are a couple.’

  ‘What did she say?’ mouthed Jonah, realising Sophie would have refused.

  ‘My wife thinks she looks too frumpy and hasn’t got the energy to entertain, with a young baby.’ Harry frowned, then put his hand over the speaker before whispering. ‘And to be honest, I think she’s too fat to fuck.’

  ‘Harry!’

  ‘I’m honest. I can’t help myself,’ he apologetically replied. ‘I prefer my women sinewy, not fatty.’ Then he removed his hand before continuing his conversation. ‘He looks happy to come and visit.’

  ‘I can go alone,’ shrugged Jonah, seeing he would prefer if his agent weren't around.

  His heart was reverberating in his chest.

  He didn’t want to show Harry he was excited.

  ‘And I can get us a takeaway,’ Jonah added. ‘Sophie doesn’t need to go to any trouble on my part.’

  ‘Did you hear that? What a perfect gentlemen. What a perfect man.’ Harry smiled at Jonah. ‘And he can tell you all about conquering the world.’

  The only thing Jonah wanted to conquer was the path towards Sophie James’s home.

  And a bit of her heart.

  ‘Shoosh.’

  Sophie was trying to stop Amelia from crying.

  The little thing hadn’t stopped for five minutes and everything had been checked.

  Food, nappies, and temperature – she was running out of choices.

  Then the doorbell rang and she knew it was Jonah.

  Her head had been all over the place in anticipation of his arrival. Wanting to look nice, she realised her curves hadn’t naturally subsided, and her stomach looked and resembled over stretched, wobbly jelly.

  She had even caught Harry grimace when he saw her naked in the shower.

  In a few weeks, Sophie would be able to exercise. The very idea was exhausting enough.

  Cradling the baby in her arms, she walked to the door and opened it.

  Jonah was standing there with a big smile and a large bunch of flowers.

  It was in
stant.

  Sophie knew she had fallen in love and was trying hard not to show it.

  ‘Who do we have here?’ he asked, looking straight down at the child. ‘And why so unhappy?’

  He stepped in, walked straight to the kitchen to wash his hands then took Amelia into his arms, and started bouncing her gently.

  ‘I’m Jonah, your God father. Lovely to meet you again.’

  She stopped crying then starting cooing.

  ‘How did you do that?’ Sophie asked, astounded. ‘She just cries for no reason and I can’t figure out why.’

  ‘My sister said her kids would cry for the sake of it.’ He looked over her shoulder and grinned. ‘I see you’ve been reading up on it.’

  She turned to look at the pile of books on how to deal with babies.

  ‘It’s tough,’ she whispered. Then she couldn’t hold back, she reached out and pulled his head down to give him a kiss on the cheek. ‘Hello.’

  ‘Hello,’ he said, looking straight into her eyes and smiling. ‘You look well.’

  ‘I look a mess,’ she said, fiddling with her hair. ‘I have to time everything I do so that I’m there for her.’

  ‘Gorgeous,’ he said, smiling at her then looking down at Amelia. ‘Milly, you are a pretty little thing.’

  ‘She just smiled at you,’ Sophie said, noticing the little baby looking up at Jonah. Then she found herself doing the same thing. ‘Would you like a drink?’

  ‘A tea would be nice. And I’m buying us a takeaway.’

  ‘You know Harry’s not coming home until late, don’t you?’ she said, seeing Jonah didn’t even flicker at her comment. ‘Did he tell you?’

  ‘How’s he handling fatherhood?’

  ‘He’s not.’

  Remembering not to bad mouth her husband or openly drool over Jonah, Sophie decided she was going to play it cool.

  In the back of her mind, she wasn’t quite sure what Jonah knew about Harry and his antics, though she desperately wanted to ask.

  ‘And the woman in his room? What did he say about that?’ Jonah walked up behind her, holding Amelia, who looked like she was going to fall asleep.

  Right now, Sophie wished she was in her daughter’s place.

  Being held by Jonah.

  ‘He makes me feel like I’m wrong for asking. As if I’m making rash accusations and he’s innocent. I can’t figure him out. The problem is, I don’t think I ever will.’ She let out a little sigh and turned to Jonah. ‘I want to concentrate on my child. That’s all I care about.’

  ‘How did he react when he saw her?’

  ‘You know he came back three days later than he said? And when he looked at Amelia, I could see there was genuine love. Since then, he smiles and says the right thing, but he doesn’t hold her like you do. I wondered if he was scared then it dawned on me he’s not interested. It’s like he has crossed off something on his ‘to do’ list and is moving onto the next thing.’ Sophie already knew she had said too much. ‘Listen to me. Moaning and you’ve not been here five minutes.

  ‘I’m interested.’

  He looked at her, this time not smiling.

  She sensed something but wasn’t sure.

  It could be that he felt sorry for her.

  That would be the last thing she wanted.

  ‘How’s life treating you? You must be fully booked for the next few years. Harry seems to gush more about you than anything else. I take it you’re my love rival?’ She let out a little laugh and made the tea. ‘He has got good taste. I’ll give him that much.’

  ‘She’s fast asleep,’ he whispered. ‘I better put her down.’

  Sophie watched him take her baby, carefully putting her down in the Moses basket she had in the living room. Her heart twisted with affection for the stranger who was looking at her child.

  Harry never looked at Amelia in the same way Jonah did, with wonderment and affection. She thought he had done when he first saw their baby, but as the days went by, she was beginning to see it was probably Harry’s guilt at being caught with another woman.

  ‘Do you think I’m sending out the wrong message by letting him think it’s okay?’

  ‘That’s not for me to say,’ he replied, looking away. ‘It’s your marriage. It depends on what you want. Do you know what you want?’

  ‘I want it to be happy,’ she said, looking at Amelia. ‘I want my baby to have a home where she feels loved. I’m not sure if Harry can do that.’

  Closing her eyes, she thought hard about what she was feeling.

  One thing she did realise.

  Sophie was confused about how she felt about Jonah but certain her marriage with Harry had hit the rocks.

  As she opened her eyes and saw him looking at her with a smile, she wondered if he would ever know what she was thinking.

  ‘What shall we get for a takeaway? My treat,’ Jonah whispered.

  He was oblivious.

  And it was probably best left that way.

  ‘These don’t work.’

  Sophie was looking down at her voluptuous breasts before smiling. ‘I had to use the powder milk as I couldn’t do it. Any chance of me burning up the extra calories is now out the window.’

  Jonah had been knocked sideways on seeing her again.

  There was much less of her, but it was still soft and round, beckoning him to touch her body.

  He didn’t know what to do and how he should act.

  In the back of his mind, he kept telling himself that she was Harry’s wife and the couple had just had a baby.

  But his heart was telling him something completely different and it was confusing.

  All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her, very much like he did when Amelia was born.

  ‘I don’t mean to moan about Harry,’ she said, forcing a bright smile. ‘I’ll sort it out.’ Reaching over, she poured out the wine and put a prawn cracker in her mouth. ‘And thank you for this Vietnamese takeaway. I should have paid, not you.’

  ‘It’s my pleasure.’

  ‘And work is good?’ she asked, smiling at him. ‘An exhibition next September is amazing. Will you get the book done in time?’

  ‘I’m being sent out left, right and centre in the next six months to make sure,’ he said, immediately thinking he didn’t want to go. Right now, he would have gladly sat on the sofa for the next year, talking to her. ‘And my babysitting days are over as you have Milly, which is a wonderful thing.’ He blushed on saying it.

  ‘You were there for me and I thought about the name.’ Sophie touched his hand. ‘I will be eternally grateful. If there’s anything you ever want from me, then all you have to do is ask.’

  ‘I want you to be happy.’

  ‘I am when I’m with you.’

  And he noticed something flicker behind her eyes, as she removed her hand.

  ‘How’s Onya?’ she asked and he knew she was trying her hardest not to pull a face. ‘She must have missed you when you were away. How’s she going to cope with your travelling and the impending trip to New York?’

  ‘It suits her lifestyle. She wants me to move in and I’m not sure.’

  ‘Are you considering it?’ Sophie double blinked in response. ‘It’s serious then?’

  ‘Why are you asking?’

  ‘It’s just you said weeks ago you prefer living with Ross, and I thought that you weren’t going to move in.’

  ‘We’re in a serious relationship,’ he replied, not knowing why he said it. ‘And we have to move things forward. I know she wants to get married and start a family one day. So do I.’

  ‘Yes, of course she does, and you would want that too!’ Sophie laughed but he could see it was forced. ‘That’s what we all want. To find our soul mate and settle down.’ Then her laugh quickly faded. ‘And that’s a good thing. You have to tell her that you were wonderful when Amelia was born.’

  ‘She wasn’t too happy,’ he honestly blurted out.

  ‘Why not?’ Then he watched Sophie’s smile compl
etely slip. ‘She doesn’t like me, does she?’

  ‘You’re poles apart.’

  Jonah didn’t want to admit to Sophie that things weren’t good between him and Onya.

  He had no idea why he was with her because in the past few months she had become more jealous and unbearable.

  When he asked her about her whereabouts, he was accused of mistrust.

  It was a no-win situation.

  All he knew was that he was in two minds about going away with her in December.

  Ideally, he would have preferred to take the woman sitting next to him and her baby.

  Then the memory that the last time he saw her; she was naked in a birthing pool, with a baby in her arms.

  And the kiss.

  He couldn’t get it out of his head how spontaneous it was, and the feeling of elation.

  Jonah realised that he should be keeping his distance from Sophie, as it left him dazed and confused. Plus she probably had no idea as her focus was on the baby and trying to find a way forward with her car crash marriage.

  And he wished in his heart he could tell her the truth about Harry, but he couldn’t contemplate hurting her.

  ‘And you don’t mind being a God father to her?’ she asked, making him break out of his trail of thought. ‘It’s not going to be a big do. And Onya is welcome to come.’ He noticed the pleading look in her eyes. ‘And I really would like you to be there.’

  ‘I’d love that.’ His mobile started to ring and it was Onya. ‘I better get it.’

  Standing up quickly, he walked towards the kitchen so as not to be heard.

  ‘Babysitting again?’ asked Onya, sounding a little pissed off. ‘Did you take her a dozen red roses and declare your love?’ Then she laughed as if the idea was absurd. ‘Why can’t Harry give her some attention?’

  ‘Why are you ringing?’ he asked, his mood totally changing.

  ‘You’re still there then?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I wanted to tell you that I’ll be a little late home, just in case you want to come back to mine. Actually, after spending an evening with Mrs James, I’m sure you’ll be exhausted due to boredom.’