Beautiful Mistakes

by Sam Mariano

  Not really knowing how to respond, Aaron merely stood there uncomfortably, refusing to leave the conversation no matter how uncomfortable she made him.

  "The point is," she said, her voice even stronger at his silence, "I don't want to work with you right now—I mean, I do. But… no good can come of it. Even now I'd like to rip you away from Julie, and it isn't personal; I really did like Julie. However, I do think you need to be careful. I don't know whose baby she's really having, but—”

  "It's mine," he informed her quietly.

  Scoffing, she said, "Okay, you know, I can respect that you're doing this—whatever it is you're doing, but can you not treat me like I'm stupid? I know that kid isn't yours."

  Nodding, he said, "It is mine."

  "It's not yours," she replied firmly. "Not only because you're infertile—I do know that occasionally there will be a miraculous case of that happening. But you have to remember, I've had a vested interest in you all along, so I've paid attention."

  He didn't reply, merely looked at her.

  Raising her eyebrows, she said, "Have you forgotten that I've known Julie has been pregnant since she started working here? You wouldn't have knocked her up and then been so mean to her—you hated Julie, you wouldn't even go back to your apartment because she was there. Even at New Years I had to invite you over and get you drunk before she could come over—obviously that was one of my better ideas."

  "I didn't… hate her," he said uncomfortably.

  "You did hate her," Leigh argued.

  "I wanted to hate her, Leigh. I didn't hate her."

  "Why did you want to hate her?" Leigh asked, looking him in the eye as she leaned her hip against the counter, waiting for an answer.

  "It's complicated," he replied vaguely.

  Nodding with a rather irritated look on her face, she said, "Right. Well, this whole situation seems to be complicated, Aaron." Then, picking up her purse purposefully, she said, "I'm just uncomplicating it."

  Grabbing her by the arm, he stopped her and he said, "I wanted to hate her for the same reason that you have clung to me despite knowing how completely unavailable I was."

  A flash of something that looked like fear—not of his hold on her arm, but a fear that he had noticed something she didn't want him to see—flitted across her features, and before she could clear it she said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

  "Leigh, you can't lie to your best friend," he stated.

  Swallowing, she said, "I'm not. It's not the same thing."

  "It's exactly the same thing, Leigh. The difference is, you haven't met your Julie yet; no one has pulled you out of your… reluctance to jump back in."

  "Stop it," she said sharply. "My attraction to you has nothing to do with what happened."

  "Then why are you getting so defensive?" he replied, raising his eyebrows. "Think about it, Leigh. Why would you—an attractive, intelligent woman with plenty to offer—set your sights on someone who's completely emotionally unavailable? It doesn't take Dr. Phil to figure out it's because you're afraid. And you're mad at me right now because I was your crutch, you could claim to be in love with me and it was completely safe—you weren't hiding from love because you were afraid of getting hurt again, you were just waiting around on a lost cause. Now you can't hide behind me anymore."

  Glaring at him, she said, "Oh, now that you're all recovered you're an expert?"

  "Hardly," he replied. "I'm just trying to snap you out of this. There's no reason for this, Leigh."

  "I'm not talking about this here," she stated.

  "Then meet me later," he replied. "We can go out for a drink or something."

  Frowning, she said, "That seems like a bad idea."

  Shrugging carelessly, he said, "So is you leaving. We're going to talk this out whether you like it or not."

  "How's Julie going to feel about you going for drinks with me?"

  Grimacing slightly, he said, "I'll worry about that. You just… call me after the interview and tell me where you want to meet up."

  Leigh glanced back at the table where Julie still sat doing tartar sauces, although her attention was obviously divided between doing the tartar sauces and trying desperately to keep an eye on Aaron and Leigh. Finally, albeit reluctantly, she said, "Fine. We'll go out for drinks. I'll call you after the interview. But I'm warning you now, I don't want to talk about Ryan."

  Without agreeing or arguing, Aaron merely held her gaze for a moment and then turned around and walked back behind the counter.

  Leigh hesitated for just a second, then she finally made her way out the door.

  As soon as Leigh was out of sight, Julie stood up, leaving the bowl of tartar sauce on the table, and walked over to Aaron.

  "So, what was all that?"

  "Did you hear any of it?"

  Shaking her head, she looked vaguely frustrated as she said, "You two were speaking in infuriated whispers; I couldn't really follow."

  Sighing, he said, "Don't be mad."

  Groaning, she said, "Don't start a sentence with those words."

  "I'm going to go out for drinks with Leigh tonight."

  Raising her eyebrows, Julie felt a little floored, but she couldn't think of any appropriate words to say.

  Sighing, he said, "Look, I'll fill you in on everything later, but being Leigh's best friend is not without its perks; I know things about her that you don't. Leigh knew my story, and I know hers, and while I wasn't really into those psych classes when I was taking them, I think a little bit of that bullshit might actually apply in the real world. I'm going to try to talk to her."

  Since she couldn't very well argue, she forced a wordless nod and attempted an expression that at least resembled understanding and encouragement.

  "Is that okay?" he asked, although his mind was obviously made up and he was just being polite.

  Shrugging, she managed to say, "If you think it's a good idea to go out for drinks with the girl who thinks she's in love with you… by all means, I'm not going to question you."

  "It isn't like that," he said, obviously ready to defend himself.

  "I know," she said quickly. Then, offering a little smile and taking his hand, she said, "Aaron, I trust you completely. It isn't that. I just… I don't want you to give Leigh the wrong idea. She's had her feelings stepped on enough through all this."

  Smiling a little, he tugged her close and looked down at her, brushing her hair back and giving her a quick kiss. "You're very understanding."

  "Well, I learn from the best," she teased.

  Frowning, he said gravely, "I thought I was the best."

  Chuckling, she swatted him lightly in the stomach. "I'm going to go finish the tartar sauce, Mr. Understanding."

  "Take your time. When you finish those I'm probably going to make you do applesauce."

  Rolling her eyes, she said, "Aaron, this child is going to come out 15 pounds just because I'm never allowed to move."

  "No arguments," he stated, giving her a firm look and then heading over to check on Leigh's last table.

  Shaking her head, Julie took her seat and went to work finishing the tartar sauces, trying not to think about the evening she was going to spend at home alone while her boyfriend went out for drinks with the girl who was in love with him.

  Her boyfriend, the very amorous drunk…

  Yeah, that was a great idea.

  Then, battling off those annoying thoughts, she glanced over at Aaron, adorable in his loose fitting jeans and white t-shirt, and a slow smile spread across her face.

  No, that wasn't a good way of looking at it.

  Aaron, her devoted boyfriend and father to her little Poppy Seed was going to go try to clear up a misunderstanding with his best friend.

  Yes, she decided, scooping up a heaping spoon full of tartar sauce. That was a much better way of looking at it.

  Chapter Twenty Six-

  That evening instead of going to bed, Julie browsed about 800 websites about everything baby related
that she could find from baby name meanings to how to deal with the terrible twos.

  Nothing was making the night go any faster.

  It wasn't that she was worried anything was going on—she wasn't worried about that at all. For one thing, if Aaron wanted to be with Leigh, he would have done it before he met Julie.

  Also, Aaron was simply not that kind of guy.

  It just wasn't a comfortable feeling, knowing he was out there somewhere having drinks with another woman.

  But she understood why Aaron had to go. She even wanted him to fix things with Leigh.

  She just wanted him to do it quickly and easily during daylight hours.

  When 1:31 rolled around, she was having a really hard time keeping her eyes open. Giving up, she turned off her laptop and crawled into bed by herself, deciding just to relax and try to wait up for Aaron there.

  Within minutes she had fallen asleep, and it wasn't until a little after two that the noise of Aaron coming into the bedroom, shutting the door and undressing caused her eyes to open again.

  "Hey you," she murmured sleepily.

  Smiling, he crawled into bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her and giving her a light kiss on the forehead. "Hey."

  "Did you have a nice talk with Leigh?" she asked, trying to force her brain to fully wake up so he could fill her in on the details.

  "As nice as it could be," he replied, yawning.

  She waited for him to go on, but after a few seconds of silence she realized he wasn't going to. "Well… are you going to tell me what happened?"

  "I just did my best to talk Leigh out of the idea that she was in love with me."

  "How'd that go?" Julie asked ironically.

  "Well, she's been holding onto it for a long time, so she's not eager to let it go so easily, but I could tell a lot of the things I said to her made sense. By the fourth drink, I could tell I was getting through to her."

  "How's that?" Julie asked sleepily.

  "She started crying," he answered. "Some of her stubborn insistence kind of melted away with the alcohol. I had hoped it would; Leigh is usually a pretty emotional drunk. I mean, if there are a lot of people around she's fine, like at a party, but when we just drink together, if we start talking about stuff, her guards come down and she gets emotional. I've never liked that trait before, but it worked tonight."

  "Okay, but I'm still missing… really big puzzle pieces here, honey. I am completely in the dark. Honestly, I don't know anything about Leigh before I met her, so I have no idea what you're talking about."

  "There's a long story about it that I don't feel like explaining, and it isn't even my story to tell, so…."

  "Well, can I at least get an outline?"

  Sighing, he said, "Fine. The short version. You know how some girls—and I hesitate to use this example, because it could have just as easily fit you, but… it's necessary. You know how some girls, when they're afraid to give a real relationship a shot because they're afraid of commitment or getting hurt, or… whatever they're afraid of, they find an unattainable guy—someone they know they absolutely cannot have—and they just latch on to that guy?"

  "Oddly enough, yes."

  "Well, Leigh's one of them. For her it isn't self-esteem issues, it isn't commitment issues… it's just that she doesn't want to get hurt again. Basically, she had the same complex I had, but instead of swearing off relationships altogether, Leigh took the more romantic approach to staying out of the dating scene—she decided to fall in love with someone she knew would never return the feeling."

  "I don't understand. Did someone break Leigh's heart really badly before?"

  "Sort of," he replied. "Before Leigh met me she had been madly in love with her boyfriend, Ryan. They were literally together forever. They started 'dating' in fifth grade and they never even broke up—they were actually one of those rare, totally happy couples. After high school they had moved in together, and eventually they got engaged."

  Shocked, Julie reiterated, "Leigh was engaged?"

  Aaron nodded.

  Frowning, she said, "Well, if they were so happy, what happened?"

  Sighing, Aaron said, "Ryan was a school bus driver—it wasn't a career for him or anything, it was just how he paid the bills while he went to school. I don't remember what he was going to school for, but I know he was. Anyway, I didn't know them then and Leigh doesn't like to talk about it, but I guess Ryan was driving a bus full of people one day, they were going on a field trip somewhere and… I don't know, a car that was coming at him lost control, he swerved to try to avoid getting hit…"

  By that point, Julie had guessed at the ending, and with her eyes wide she said, "He got killed in a bus accident?"

  Nodding, Aaron said, "The bus flipped. Seven people died, more were injured… he was one of the ones that died."

  No longer tired, Julie could only stare straight ahead of her, trying to imagine what that must have been like for Leigh.

  Moving on with the story, Aaron said, "It really messed Leigh up. That's why she moved here, actually. Her little sister was moving here, so she decided to move here with her to 'look after her,' but really Leigh just had to get away from it. Which… is how she met me. I was sour on love, and she was terrified of loving someone that much and losing them again, so…"

  "You were the perfect crutch," Julie concluded.

  Sighing in a rather exhausted way, he said, "Yep."

  "Wow… I can't even imagine that though," Julie said, rolling over and hugging Aaron at the mere thought of Leigh's loss. "I mean… Leigh has always seemed like such a happy person… I would have never guessed some tragedy had befallen her."

  "That's just how she is," he replied. "Leigh doesn't really like to deal with things, she would rather just… shove it aside and not deal with it. I get where she's coming from; after Shannon screwed me over I didn't want to deal with it either. It's just so much easier to shove it behind you and pretend you're over it."

  Hugging him a little more protectively, Julie said, "Shannon's so dumb."

  "She is," he agreed. "But it's probably good that she is."

  Vaguely surprised, Julie said, "Why?"

  "Well, because if she wouldn't have made a power play for Matt, I would have married her. Who knows where I'd be today?"

  "Ew," she said, wrinkling up her nose.

  He merely nodded, yawning again. Then, smiling slightly, he lightly rubbed her stomach. "There would be no Poppy Seed, and I wouldn't be getting the family that I wanted but couldn't have. Hell, if you want to really twist up the story, Leigh could have met my unavailable brother instead of me and then she could be the one that got caught up with Matt, which wouldn't have protected her nearly as much as liking me did."

  "Okay, I think the alcohol is talking now," she said, smiling slightly. "This scenario just got weird."

  Smiling, he said, "I'm so tired. The cold was keeping me awake when I was walking home, but… you're so warm."

  Snuggling closer, she said, "Good, let's go to sleep."

  "I did have something else in mind, but I'm a little ashamed to admit that I'm actually too tired."

  Chortling, Julie said, "Wow, the guy is using the 'I'm tired' excuse?"

  "Don't pick on me or I will go back outside for a couple minutes and then come back in here and finish what I had planned on starting."

  "No," she practically cooed, running her fingers lightly through his hair. "Go to sleep. We'll have plenty of time to do that in the future."

  "I'm glad," he murmured, nuzzling his face into her neck.

  Sighing happily as she lightly rubbed his back, she said, "Me, too."

  And without another word, Aaron fell quiet and was quickly asleep.

  Julie, thinking about Leigh's story, felt newly grateful that she had found Aaron and that she could hold him in her arms every night when they went to sleep, that they could buy a condo together and start a family… all things that Leigh had lost out on when her fiancé died way too young.

 
; Poor Leigh…

  Yawning, Julie closed her eyes, but as she drifted off to sleep she tried to think of something she could do to make Leigh's life a little brighter…

  ---

  The obnoxious sound of Julie's cell phone jarred her from her sleep the next morning and she rolled over, not altogether conscious, hoping to see Aaron reaching for her phone to shut it off, but the bed next to her was empty.

  Groaning, she stretched across the bed and grabbed her phone, flipping it open as she yawned, refusing to so much as open her eyes.

  "Hello?" she croaked.

  "Julie, I need a favor."

  Her eyes flew open and she yanked the phone away from her ear, checking the caller ID to make sure her sleep-fogged mind wasn't playing tricks on her.

  "Emma?" she questioned, thoroughly confused.

  Sighing, Emma said, "Of course. Don't pretend my number isn't still programmed into your phone, because I know it is."

  "Why the hell…?"

  Since Julie didn't really have the energy to finish, Emma jumped in. "I need you to do me a favor."

  "That sounds highly likely," Julie replied. "Why would you call me of all people when you need a favor?"

  "Because it's concerning Anna, and I know regardless of your feelings toward me or my husband, you wouldn't refuse to help her."

  Damn, Emma had her on that one.

  "What exactly do you need?" Julie asked carefully.

  Sighing irritably, Emma said, "I hired a new nanny—a chubby, unattractive one that I know Matt won't want to sleep with—and while she is far from perfect, she has been working out."

  "Great," Julie said unenthusiastically. "What does this have to do with anything?"

  "Well, I have to be at the airport by 10:30—I'm flying to New York—and the nanny was supposed to watch her, obviously. But the idiot that I hired calls me twenty minutes ago to tell me that she has strep throat and she can't watch Anna today. You would think she could give me better notice than this, but she apparently has no concern for my travel arrangements."