You Never Knew Me (The Never Series Book 1)

by B C Morgan

  “You’re gonna kill me,” he doesn’t say it loudly but he echoes through the room and I look over at him and realise I wasn’t supposed to hear it.

  I sink further into the water and pretty much yelp when he starts taking his jogging bottoms, trainers, hoodie and top off. He’s standing right in front of me, in nothing but his boxers, and he lowers himself into the water and my words run away from me.

  “I need to take a look at that ankle,” he says as he seizes my foot and rests it upon his lap, so close to his groin.

  “You needed to be naked for that?” I ask and I sound way too squeaky, he’s smirking at my obvious discomfort and I don’t like it.

  “If I was naked, I’d be holding more than just your foot little cub.”

  “Excuse me, one where do you get off, and two, where did you pull little cub out of?” Indignation is brimming in me and it’s reflected in my voice.

  He ignores me as he prods at my ankle and my hisses sound throughout the room, until he lowers my ankle back down and stands up. Making his way over to me, until he’s kneeling on a seat beside me and leaning over to look me right in the eyes.

  “I thought of it because everyone wants to protect you, thinking you need it. Sure, sometimes you do and other times you shock us all by getting your claws out and showing us just how ferocious you can be.” He looks proud, but he’s got this heat in his eyes that makes me want to squirm. “So yeah, you’re my little cub from now on, I don’t care if you don’t like it. As for what I said before, I’d only be naked with you if it was wanted. I don’t whip it out for just anyone, little cub.” His smile is self-assured and a little cocky.

  My air whooshes out of me, mingling with his own as he leans in closer. Our mouths are only a hairsbreadth apart and it would be so easy to get rid of that distance, but I can’t. Can I?

  “Stop thinking Henleigh.” He taps the side of my head with a smirk as his eyes fill with a dangerous heat. I don’t even trust myself to try and think right now, all my sense has washed away. His eyes are all I can think about, that and the way he keeps looking at my mouth. “Now I do have some questions for you, but I really want to taste you again. Tell me no and I’ll back off,” he says as his dark eyes stare right into me.

  I open my mouth, I’m going to say no, I have to say no. Instead a ‘yes’ slips out and he wastes no time in capturing my mouth and exploring every inch of it with his tongue. His fingers are splayed across my ribs, brushing up against the bottom of my bra. He’s not trying to move higher and I’m glad of that, I want him to touch me, but I can’t go that far with him.

  My fingers are tangled in his hair and I love the moans he makes as I tug on it, I can also feel how hard he is as he’s now pressing against my hip and it’s causing some very naughty thoughts.

  I need stop this, before I forget why I have to. So, I break the kiss and lean my head on his shoulder.

  “I don’t like what you’re doing to me,” he says softly, as his hands run down my back.

  “I’m right there with you,” I reply, as my throat clogs up with all the emotions running rampant through me.

  “Look, you’ve only known us for a week so I’m not expecting you to feel like you have to choose or anything but, is there anything I need to know regarding Noah and or Elijah?” His jaw is ticking slightly as he asks this and I’m dreading his reaction when I tell him about the kiss.

  “I’ve kissed Elijah as well; I regret it almost as much as I don’t regret it. I feel bad for kissing you both, but I know I’m not cut out for a relationship and it was nice to forget that for a few moments.” I sigh heavily and maybe even a little wistfully, as I try and prepare myself to explain about Noah. His Jaw is tight, and I don’t miss the way he flexes his hands. “As for Noah, there’s nothing between us but pushing aside how bad this is making me sound I can’t say I’m opposed to the idea.” My cheeks are burning and it’s mortifying confessing this to him.

  “I respect honesty and I meant what I said, you are my little cub. Now you want to be friends, great.” He pauses for a second as he brings his face closer to mine. “You want to be friends who kiss sometimes, even better as long as you’re upfront with me. I’m not looking for a relationship either and I think I’m too messed up for you anyway, but the ball is in your court. Just know, if you ever are mine, I’m a jealous bastard for sure.” His smirking and his eyes promise a world of excitement and danger, but I’m sure it would be fun. It wouldn’t work though.

  Damn, I’d definitely be up for kissing him whenever the urge arose. But I don’t want anyone to get hurt and in all honesty he’s wrong. I’m the one who’s too messed up for him, for all of them.

  Seven

  Mrs. Hutchinson wants to suspend me for a week for what I did to Octavia, it’s ridiculous but what can I really say in return. I’m so angry and I’m sitting in the waiting room whilst she contacts my parents to come and collect me, I didn’t even get a choice on that one. The funny thing is, no one is answering her call.

  I’m playing on my tablet when Mattias walks past and then comes back when he realises who he saw, he is such a sweetheart.

  “What’s going on?” he asks, completely ignoring the receptionist who's trying to get him to leave.

  I tell him everything that went down and he does not look happy, then he’s getting up and walking out. I guess he’s not an advocate for violence, and I’m off to return to my wonderful family home, oh the joys. Damn even my internal voice is dripping with sarcasm.

  I throw my head back and just stare up at the ceiling, the only reason I jerk up is because the receptionist is suddenly raising her voice at someone, and I look just in time to see Noah push his way into Mrs. Hutchinson’s office.

  I can hear raised voices coming from the slightly open door, and I don’t care what Miss Snooty has to say, I am listening in on this one.

  “This is completely unwarranted behaviour Mr. Wallace, how dare you come into my office without permission and try to tell me how to run my school,” her voice raises an octave as she tries to scold him.

  “I wouldn’t have to if you did your job to a sufficient standard. Now why is it I know the reason as to why Miss Monterey behaved the way she did and you do not. And why is she being suspended and yet Octavia and her merry band of ingrates get off Scot free.” His tone drops colder, until it fills me with ice, and it isn’t even directed my way. “Now I know my father would not be impressed to hear how favouritism is being shown in such a fine educational establishment such as this one. That your own assistant head is allowed to pull her weight to make sure her son and his girlfriend can get away with such vandalism and utter malice.”

  “Mr. Wallace,” she goes to speak and I almost choke on what happens.

  “Did I sound as if I was finished, I am usually all for showing my teachers the respect they deserve, but if you are going to ignore the proof I have presented to you then I will have to send it to the board, and my father myself, and we both know how my father does not have the time for such matters. Let Miss Monterey stay and punish Octavia and such for what they did. And she needs to have a bed back in her room by the end of today. You may be the headteacher, but you can easily be replaced, don’t forget that.” His tone is screaming authority, I wish I could see their faces right now.

  The door is pulled open and how can I not look at him in wonder. That saying, ‘curiosity killed the cat’, well I’m definitely curious.

  “Save your questions until later, I have a feeling she’ll be calling you in momentarily. Chin up Leighbear, I’ve got you.”

  I sit in the canteen at lunchtime still floored by what Noah did for me. I’ve been given detention and I’m not allowed to attend the extra activities for another week, but I’m still here and I don’t have to go back to my parents. I’m surprised they’ve even agreed to let me go home come Christmas break, after everything that happened before I came here. Nope not going there, it’s still too painful.

  My friends soon join me and pretty
much shit the bed when I tell them what Noah did for me. Ivy has bug eyes – they are that wide.

  “Would you have really called your dad?” she asks, he doesn’t look up from his lunch as he gives a nod.

  “No way, why?” Elijah asks and then he looks to me and his eyes open wider and even his mouth drops open.

  “Stop reading so much into it, I’d do the same for any of you,” he says, sounding gruff, and his voice still does wicked things to me.

  “What’s the big deal? Would he have been mad at you?” I ask and it’s not hard to notice as everyone suddenly has a reason not to look my way, all except Amias.

  “No, he’s just a busy man,” says Noah, and I smell horse crap. There’s more to it than that but he never made me talk about my brother and I have to afford him the same courtesy.

  “It’s okay, I won’t pry.”

  “Christmas break is coming up soon, two whole weeks away from here. Got any plans?” asks Elijah, draping his arm across my shoulders.

  “My parents have given the school permission to allow me home for it,” I say, I just don’t tell them that I have no plans of accepting it.

  Ivy is going home to her parents and Noah says, rather quietly that he’s doing the same. Elijah and Amias don’t really specify what they’ll be doing but I guess it’ll be the same as the rest of them. I wonder if I’ll be the only one staying here other than a skeleton crew, and also whether I’d be able to sneak off for a few days and get some much-needed preparation done.

  After lunch is over, I head to the advanced building with Noah, he’s quiet but it feels heavier now. I’m guessing there’s something going on with his dad and I hate that I’ve brought him turmoil. This is why I think I’m too messed up for them, the longer they’re around me the worse things will get. I just don’t know if I can let them go, maybe I’m being selfish, but I want to hold on to them.

  The rest of the month is surprisingly easy. The classes are challenging which I adore, Noah conveniently ended up as my neighbour in all the seats I take during class, except for maths, which I share with Harrison. Come to think of it, I don’t understand why Noah isn’t in that class but I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually.

  Now Harrison doesn’t sit with me, he just stares intently at me and if our eyes ever meet, they scream with dangerous intent. But nothing happens.

  The girls have gone quiet apart from a weird name that they now call me which is runner, how is running track an insult? They occasionally throw comments about Elliott’s photo at me, but they’re always quick enough to not get punched again. Finley still makes lewd comments, but when I told him how I’d have to repay him for helping me in front of all the Shepherds, he soon stopped his flirting. Oh yes, he got into serious trouble, Chelsea wouldn’t talk to him for a week and the other Shepherds avoided him like the plague.

  Come next week everyone will be leaving school and returning home to their loved ones. The quiet will be nice but I can’t help but wonder what they are going to be throwing at me when they come back from their break. The other thing that worries me is that I’ve yet to see Mr. Terrifying again and I can’t shake the feeling that he will suddenly appear when I have no one here to fall back on.

  Christmas break begins

  The time has come to say goodbye to my friends as we have our last breakfast together for just under two weeks. Ivy is quiet and Elijah is hassling her for an answer to a question that I wasn’t even listening to. I feel so despondent knowing that they’ll all be leaving. I’ve grown used to having people to dine with and just chat and mess around.

  Amias gives me extra training outside of the self-defence classes we attend, and I’ve watched all of his boxing matches. Ivy was born to be on a horse, and although I suck at it, she’s always on hand to give me a few pointers to help me improve.

  Noah sits and does his homework with me and we often get paired together for joint assignments; we work really well together. And Elijah is just his usual over the top flirty self. I rarely see him serious but it’s hard not to be happy when he’s around. I still want to punch him half the time but since he told me he gets a kick out of it, I try to refrain.

  I can’t cope with the heated stare Elijah levels my way each and every time we’re in the same room. Neither him nor Amias have tried to kiss me again and I’m not happy about it even though this was what I kept telling myself I wanted, there’s just no pleasing me it seems.

  “For the last time, it doesn’t matter who I share a car with now butt out,” shouts Ivy as she slams her hand down upon the table and stands up.

  She gives Elijah the middle finger before storming off and slamming the canteen door open with such force it bangs against the wall on the other side.

  “Can you not go one day without aggravating her, she’s the only girl I have to talk to,” I say in utter frustration.

  “Hey, I try, but she refuses to tell us who she leaves with for every break. If she wants a boyfriend fine, but why all the secrecy?” He bats his eyes like he’s the epitome of innocence, but I know he gets a kick out of winding Ivy up.

  “Maybe because you keep asking. I’d do the same thing I’m sure. You need to learn that nobody has to share their secrets with you if they don’t want to.” I pause for a moment and roll my eyes at him. “Have you told me everything there is to know about you? I know the others haven’t, but you don’t see me bothering them twenty-four seven, because I just have to know everyone’s ins and outs.”

  Okay, his words have gotten to me more than I’d like to admit, and I really don’t want to look into why that is.

  “We’d tell you things if you told us anything about your life before you came here,” comes from Amias and of course now the secrecy conversation just happens to be turned onto me.

  “Leave her alone, she’ll tell us when she’s ready to,” says Noah looking at me, and I mouth a silent thank you.

  “Or maybe you’ve confided in one of us already,” says Amias with a cold tone, his jaw tight and his eyes are looking right through me as he pushes himself up and leaves the canteen as well.

  “It’s definitely Christmas, you guys are always bloody miserable when it comes around. I get why you are, Noah, but those two? I just can’t even be bothered trying to unravel that little mystery.” Elijah leaves us as well and we don’t say a single thing until Noah says goodbye.

  Eight

  I sit in my room, waiting for everyone to leave. I never told them I was going to my parents’, so I technically didn’t lie. I just let them assume that I was. I can’t go back there, not yet, and two weeks to myself will help me figure out what I need to do about my friends.

  Do I tell them the full truth of why I am here or just partial? And really, do I need to tell them anything. Clearly, they’re keeping things from me, but I can’t get Amias’s face out of my mind. He thinks I trust Noah more than him, but in reality, I don’t trust anyone. Although if I’m honest with myself Noah is the easiest one to talk to, he’s unassuming and lets me go at my own pace, would Amias do the same?

  The halls go quiet after a couple of hours, and as I leave my room, I notice how quiet it really is. I don’t think I’m the only one who hasn’t gone home but hopefully those who have stayed won’t cause me any problems.

  I grab my tablet; I think a snack and a dip in the pool sounds like heaven. I grab a sandwich and a packet of crisps before heading to the fitness centre.

  There are a couple of guys hashing it out in the ring, three girls are using the treadmills and rowing machines, and there are a few people in the weight room. None of that interests me though, so I get changed and store my tablet in the locker before making my way poolside.

  I’ve always loved the water – it’s freeing and makes you feel weightless. I don’t even think as I take a running jump and cannonball into the water. I push up off the floor and break the water's surface, flicking my hair off my face before swimming a few laps. Just like with running, I always push myself harder every time. I figh
t through the burn and the cramps that threaten to stop me, even as my arms scream for mercy.

  “Punishing yourself for something?”

  I come up short, of course, I couldn’t be lucky enough to avoid everyone as my eyes meet Finley’s. He may be nice to look at, but I’d still prefer to spend my time as the backside of a donkey than with him.

  “Why do you care?” I’m suspicious, so sue me.

  “I don’t, but I’m not going to jump in there and save you if you lock up,” he says as he draws circles in the water with his fingers.

  “What is your problem, if you don’t care about hurting or helping me why do you keep showing up?” I swim to the edge and lean my forearms against the side. I genuinely want to hear his answer.

  “It winds Amias up and I think you’re a distraction for him, which means I’ll have the advantage come match day. Plus, you’re fun to irritate and Chelsea hates you.” His tone is silvery and there’s a sing song quality that isn’t unpleasant to listen to. I don’t think he’s lying, he’s too self-centred to put the effort in.

  “What about the other guys in your group, I barely even see them,” I say, genuinely curious.

  “Declan has been having it away with a secret lady, apparently he’s going to call it quits with Britney and no doubt leave our little group. The poor sap is apparently in love. As for Drew well, would you spend all your free time with a girl like Octavia, that bitch is needy,” he says with a laugh, and I have no idea why he’s telling me all of this.

  “Enjoy your two weeks, things are going to get a lot worse for you when school starts back up. The girls have it out for you and Harrison is done biding his time, see you around brownie.”

  He kisses his fingers before blowing them my way and I choose this moment to launch myself out of the water, grab his wrist and pull him in. He’s spluttering as he comes back to the surface, and I blow him a kiss in return as I climb out of the pool and hear his intake of breath as he takes in my form.