Jacob reached for Rachel’s hand as soon as they were out of view of the congregation. He’d almost pulled her into his arms, when they spotted Leah coming up behind them.
“Why are you coming along, schweschder?” Rachel twisted and dropped Jacob’s hand, to his disappointment.
“Ach, Dat urged me to leave too.”
“But why?” Rachel frowned. “This is mine and Jacob’s time to be together. Alone.”
Leah shrugged. “Dat insisted. I don’t know why. Would you have me disobey him?”
“Ach, nee. Of course, not.”
Jacob sensed Rachel’s frustration and felt a little himself. Why had their father sent Leah along? It was not the way things were typically done. Hopefully, he and Rachel could still find some alone time. He was looking forward to sharing a few private kisses with his beloved.
~
Rachel had prepared a romantic meal for two in advance, and the two of them took their picnic lunch down to the pond. Leah stayed up at the house, although Jacob was certain Marlin had sent her along as a chaperone. But they didn’t need or want a chaperone. Okay, maybe they should have had one present to restrain their kisses, but they were to be wed in just over a week. He hadn’t dishonored this betrothed, but they’d probably crossed the lines of propriety for an unmarried couple…jah, maybe a chaperone wouldn’t have been a bad idea.
Ach, he couldn’t wait to make Rachel his fraa. It was a gut thing their wedding would take place in just over a week. He couldn’t imagine waiting much longer than that.
Marlin joined the family at home after the common meal had ended. Now, he and Jacob sat in the living area. The maed had disappeared into the kitchen to give them time to talk.
“Did you realize that you misspoke when you read the banns? You said Leah’s name instead of Rachel.” Jacob expelled an easy chuckle.
“Nee, I did not misspeak.”
“You said Leah.”
“Perhaps, but I did not speak the wrong name.”
Jacob frowned and stared at Marlin. His declaration confused him. “It is Rachel I will marry.”
“Nee, you will marry my Leah.” He insisted.
“I’m not marrying Leah.”
“Then you will not marry my Rachel.”
What? His gaze shot to Rachel, who prepared snacks in the kitchen, then to Leah helping her. Did either of them know anything about their father’s ludicrous statement?
“But, I thought you said I could marry your dochder. I meant Rachel when I’d asked you, not Leah. You know very well I’ve been courting Rachel the past nine months. I have no interest in Leah.”
“Leah is older. She must marry first.”
“Out of all due respect, I do not think you are thinking straight.”
“Leah will marry first. There is no other man old enough to marry her and I do not want her to become an alt maedel.”
“Perhaps there is a man in another district who will marry your oldest dochder? Or a widower?”
“Nee, there is no one. Only you.” He leaned close and whispered to Jacob. “She is sickly. She likely will not be around long anyhow.”
“But I…I’m planning to marry Rachel.” He repeated.
“Leah must raise grossbopplin. You must not deny her this.”
“I’m not denying Leah anything. I’m in love with Rachel. She is the one I will marry on Tuesday.” Anger clenched his fists.
Marlin stared him in the eye. His resolve firm. “You will never be allowed to marry Rachel or see her again, if you do not agree to this thing.”
“I won’t be allowed to see Rach… You cannot force me to marry Leah! It is wrong.”
“Maybe so. But the choice is yours.”
“This is not a choice!” He cried in frustration. “This is foolishness.”
“If that is the way you feel, then we have nothing more to speak to each other about. You may leave my property and this community and go back to where you came from. Do not come back seeking mei dochder’s hand. Ever.”
Jacob’s throat tightened. Was he going to suffocate? This could not be happening. One cannot just change the bride days before the wedding. Who had ever heard of such a thing?
Ach, he had to do something. “And if I take Rachel with me?”
“You do not want to play that game with me, Jacob. Rachel is still under age. I will have you arrested for kidnapping.”
Ach, who was the one playing games? Arrested? Was he serious? He’d never be able to see Rachel again? He couldn’t bear the thought.
He glanced her way, then looked to Leah. The two seemed to be lost in conversation. Rachel beamed like a young woman who was about to be married. It seemed neither of them were privy to their vatter’s shenanigans.
Perhaps he could leave, then talk Rachel into meeting him as soon as she was of age. They could move away and marry elsewhere.
Marlin nodded curtly, dismissing him. “Fine. I will marry Rachel off to someone else then.” Marlin stood, as though that was his final word.
“You can’t do that!” Could he?
“Watch me.”
Ach, what on earth was he going to do?
“You may leave now,” Marlin insisted.
“But I…” He had no idea what to say or do to make this right. He didn’t want to lose Rachel, which was what would surely happen if he left. “Let me talk to Rachel. Please.”
“Very well. Come back tomorrow after you’ve had time to think this through.”
A plan took form in his mind. Surely, the leaders would not approve of this scheme of Marlin’s. He would meet with the leaders tonight, then approach Rachel with his gut news in the morning. Whatever he did, he needed to hurry. Time was not on his side.
THIRTEEN
Jacob stood on the Schmidt family’s porch and knocked on the door. His heart beat a million times per minute, it seemed. He wasn’t looking forward to this conversation. Nee, he was dreading it.
His beautiful bride-to-be stood in the doorway. Nee, not bride-to-be.
“Rachel…” Jacob’s voice sounded breathless to his own ears. “Kumm, we need to talk.”
“Are…are you okay?” He heard the distress in her voice, no doubt a reaction to his bleary eyes. He’d tossed and turned all night long praying for a solution.
She must’ve recognized the seriousness in his tone and took his proffered hand, allowing him to lead them outside. They sat down on the porch swing.
“I don’t know how to say this, Rachel.” He stood and began pacing.
“Say what?” She shivered.
Ach, but how could he say this? He looked away from her. He did not want to see the hurt in her eyes.
“Please, Jacob. I’ve never seen you like this. You’re scaring me.”
“I…your father…I can’t marry you.”
“You can’t…?” She shook her head. “What about my father? What did he say to you?” She frowned, sounding more angry than hurt.
“You won’t like this. I don’t like it.” He practically drew blood as he bit the inside of his cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you. Ach, you’re the last person in the world I’d want to hurt. I’m sorry, lieb. So sorry.” He couldn’t help it when moisture surfaced in his eyes.
“What?” Her voice shook. Dread likely filled her heart as it had his.
He squeezed his eyes shut, willing this nightmare to cease. But it wouldn’t. “Your father is insisting that I marry your schweschder.”
“Leah? Why?”
Why indeed? He shrugged. “He says she must marry first.”
“He can’t do that!” Tears sprung to Rachel’s eyes the moment he’d said the words. Ach, he knew she’d be upset. He was upset. But he didn’t know what he could do about it.
He’d already gone to the other leaders in the district and stated his case. They’d unanimously sided with Marlin. He was the patriarch, the girls’ dat and leader of the home, and he had final say in whom they married. If he was against a particular union, they were convinced he h
ad good reason, and they would honor his wishes. No doubt his deacon status held clout in their community as well. They would not interfere in the matter.
“Apparently, he can. I’ve already approached the other leaders. They sided with your father.”
Jacob didn’t understand. Something like this would never happen in his district back in Kentucky. Shouldn’t it be each person’s choice whom they marry? He wished to marry Rachel. Rachel wanted to marry him. It wasn’t complicated. If only he and Rachel had met in his district. But they hadn’t.
“Why would he do this?” He heard the desperation in her voice.
“I don’t think he means it to slight you. He just wants Leah to have a family of her own. For some reason, he’s chosen me as the one to make that a reality.”
“But you told him you love me, right? You told him that you want to marry me, not Leah.”
“Jah, I did. He will not listen to me, schatzi. He doesn’t care about you or me or our love for each other.”
“But you will not agree to it, ain’t so?”
“I don’t want to, but…” Ach, this was the most difficult thing he’d ever faced.
“But what?” She shook her head. “You’re actually considering it?”
“What choice do I have, Rachel? If I do not marry your sister, I must leave. Your father insisted that if I do not marry Leah, he would give you away to someone else. I cannot bear the thought of that.”
“This doesn’t make any sense.”
“His idea is that I will marry your sister, then marry you when she passes. Since she is sickly, he figures it won’t be too long.” He clenched his fists. “Ach, I hate the thought of this whole scheme. It’s not fair to you, me, or Leah.”
“So you would marry her and then we’d just wait for her to die?”
“It’s terrible, I know.” He smashed his lips together. “Your father wants her to have kinner and raise a family in the time she has left.”
“You…you would share the marriage bed with mei schweschder?” Her bottom lip trembled and a flow of tears ensued.
He turned away. “I’m sorry, Rachel. If there was another way…”
“I can’t believe you’re considering this.”
“What else can we do? Your father promised me that he would save you for me if I agree to do this. I’m afraid it is the only way we can marry.”
“Jah, but when? Who knows how long my sister will live? I could be past my time to have bopplin by the time we marry.”
“Your father said the doctor gave her five years to live. Can we wait five years?”
She wiped away her tears and fastened her arms across her chest. She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
He moved close and lifted her chin with his forefinger. She looked away. “Look at me, Rachel.” He waited until she did. He gazed into her forlorn eyes. Ach, how he hated causing her grief. “My love for you will never ever die. I do not love your sister. I do not desire to marry your sister. I want to marry you.”
“I want to marry you too.”
He bent down and pressed his lips to hers. Ach, he desperately needed her. He didn’t know how he’d be able to live without her. He crushed her to his chest, and wrapped his arms around her, never wanting to let her go.
“If I could, I’d whisk you away this instant and marry you. But I cannot do that. You are not yet of age.” He frowned into her kerchief. He’d consider moving back home with her, but not if his brother still sought to kill him. “But then we’d have to leave our people and live as the Englisch.”
“Or be put in the bann.”
“Whatever is decided, we must be in agreement. The only reason I’d ever even consider marrying your schweschder is so that I could marry you. If I wasn’t promised a future with you, I’d leave altogether. Because I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing you married to another man.”
“Yet, you will be marrying another woman.”
“Do I have a choice?” Could she hear the anguish in his voice? This was not his will at all.
“Ach, I suppose not.”
“Rachel, I will do anything you want. I would do anything for you. I love you so much, my heart cries for you.”
“I know you do.”
“Let’s pray about this. Perhaps Der Herr will show us another way.”
“Jah, we can do that. For sure and certain.”
FOURTEEN
Rachel reluctantly approached her father after Leah had gone upstairs to her room. He sat in his usual spot, reading The Budget newspaper. As though all was well in his world. As though her world were not crumbling around her.
She approached and sat in the hickory rocker nearest him. Perhaps she could talk some sense into him. If he just saw how upsetting this whole situation was, maybe he’d change his mind.
He glanced over the newspaper. His probing gaze met hers through his spectacles. “Did you wish to say something, dochder?”
She stared down at her hands. “Jah, I…I talked to Jacob.” Ach, she’d told herself she wouldn’t cry.
“And has he agreed to my plan?”
She shook her head. “Why? Why are you doing this? You know I love Jacob and Jacob loves me.”
He folded the paper onto his lap. “This is best, dochder.”
“Best?” Her voice screeched. “Best for who? For you?”
“Nee. For everyone.”
“How can you believe that? You know that is not true.”
“It is true, dochder.” Her father didn’t actually believe his own words, did he? How could he?
“Help me make sense of this, Dat. Why would you want to give the man I love to my sister?”
“She is older. She needs to marry first.”
Indignation rose in her throat, but she forced the words down. She wouldn’t get anywhere by disrespecting her father. “Why? And why my Jacob?”
“He is but two years younger than Leah. All of the other bu are much younger. And I have already approached several of them.”
That didn’t explain anything.
“You are only sixteen yet. You have plenty of years ahead of you. Your sister will likely only have a few more.”
Jah, she felt terrible for her sister, but not enough to give up her own future for her. Leah’s illness was indeed a tragedy. But it wasn’t Jacob’s or her fault that her sister was sick. “It is not fair to force Jacob to marry Leah.”
“I am not forcing him. It is his choice.”
“But you said you wouldn’t allow him to marry me if he didn’t first marry Leah. To me, that is forcing.”
“Will you deny Leah the one chance to have a family of her own?”
“It is not of her own if it is with Jacob. He belongs to me.”
He sighed. “I will tell you the whole truth now, dochder. Perhaps you will be able to understand then.”
The whole truth? What did he mean? She frowned, but waited for her father to continue.
“When you were very young, just a little more than a boppli yet, you were in an accident. That accident caused injuries to your body. The dokter said you would not be able to have bopplin.”
She gasped. Nee, that couldn’t be true!
Tears welled in her eyes. Were her father’s words sincere? She’d be childless? Her heart squeezed so tight she didn’t think she’d be able to breathe. How could she marry Jacob if she couldn’t give him bopplin? Jah, he’d probably agree to marry her anyway, but it wouldn’t be fair to him. What Amish man did not want kinner of his own? Usually a houseful.
“So you see? If Jacob marries Leah, they will be doing you a favor. They will have the bopplin, your schweschder will get to have a family, and then when your schweschder is no longer with us, Jacob can marry you and you will have kinner to raise.”
Rachel sat numb. She hated that her father’s idea somewhat made sense. “Does…does Jacob know that I cannot have bopplin?”
“I have not mentioned it. I thought it would be better for you if he did not know.” He placed his h
and over hers, a gesture of affection not typically seen in her home. “I know this is difficult dochder, but I believe it is best for all involved.”
She shook her head, denying his words. “Nee, it is not.”
Her father frowned. “Don’t get any foolish notions about sneaking off with that bu, either. I’m sure he is likely to try to talk you into it.”
“What if I did run away with Jacob? You wouldn’t be able to stop us,” she said defiantly.
Fire sparked in his eyes. “You do not want to do that, dochder.”
“But I do. Don’t you understand? I want to marry Jacob more than anything, Dat.”
“More than seeing your beloved Jacob in prison? Because, I assure you, dochder, if he attempts to run off with you, that is where he will be. In prison for kidnapping. And you will never be allowed to marry him.” He frowned. “Is that what you want?”
“You know it isn’t.”
“Trust me, dochder. I know what is best.”
“Nee, you don’t! You don’t know anything.” She sprung from her chair and sprinted up the stairs to her room, then slammed the door for effect. She buried her head into her pillow and cried until she thought her tears would run dry.
“Why, Gott? Why? It isn’t fair.”
FIFTEEN
“My vatter is not going to change his mind, Jacob.” Rachel shoved away a tear. “I tried talking to him. He is like a stone wall.”
He thrust his hands into his pockets and frowned. “Will you…would you consider coming away with me? We could leave tonight.”
“You…you would want to leave? Just the two of us?” Her eyes grew wide. “Where would we go? We could not marry yet.”
“Nee, not until you’re of age.”
“But my father said that he would call the police. He warned me you’d want to do this. He is serious, Jacob. I do not doubt that he would have you arrested.”
“Ach, I did not think he was serious. That is not the way of our people.”
“He meant it, Jacob, for sure and certain.”
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