Change

by Melissa Stevens

  Chapter 4

  It was almost noon when the phone rang Sunday morning. I looked at the screen as I picked up my PCD, checking to see who was calling. The picture and the name on the screen told me it was Brandon. I wished for a moment I could stay mad at him, but I’d never been able to manage it for very long. I touched the button to answer the call.

  "Hello?" I asked, lifting the small device to my ear.

  "Hey, Nickie, how're you doing?"

  "Pretty good, all things considered. I have the occasional moment of thinking I've dreamed it all, but I really know better. There are some things I just can't deny, even to myself…" I heard him laugh on the other end of the line, and I continued. "And it certainly doesn't help things that there's no trace of the bite left."

  "Really? Already? No scars, nothing?" He sounded surprised.

  "Nothing at all, they were gone by bedtime that night."

  "Wow. Does the Anikitos know?"

  "Yeah. I told him when I talked to him yesterday. You know, the way you calling him the Anikitos is really bizarre. He's always just been Bill to me."

  "You'll get used to it. Most of the pack calls him either Sir or Anikitos, only a few people have permission to call him by name."

  "I guess it makes sense, it's just really weird."

  "I'm certain it won't be the weirdest thing you'll encounter now that you know about us." He said with a laugh.

  "I'm sure that's true, but let's not rush things. Let me get used to what I have on my plate now, before you throw the even weirder at me." I laughed back. "And I'm just going to say it, I'm not happy that you kept it from me, but I understand why, so you get a pass on this one. But no more big secrets. Got it?"

  "If you say so," He acknowledged, hen changed the subject, "Have you noticed any other signs that you're adjusting?"

  "Yeah, I keep picking up odd scents," I replied, accepting the change of subject, "Sometimes they're really strong, sometimes they're just something really out of place. I've started noticing that everyone has a unique scent, one that no matter what they have done, what scent they might wear, they always have the unique scent as well."

  "Yes, everyone has their own personal scent, and eventually, with practice and repetition, you'll learn to catalog and sort the different scents and then you'll just automatically know whose scent it is whenever you smell them."

  "I'll keep that in mind. While we're talking about senses, what about hearing? Oh my word! I sometimes wonder if it's going to make me crazy being able to hear what they're saying in the next apartment or the one on the other side of that, even the one below me. When I first noticed it I thought I was imagining it, but Bill told me I probably wasn't."

  "Probably not, but you'll get used to it. It’ll take some practice but you'll learn to tune out or focus on something you don't mind hearing. You might want to consider finding a different place, something not in a shared building."

  "I don't want to do that if I can help it. I love this place, and I don't want to give it up if I don't have to. Plus, it would raise a lot of questions with my family and most of my friends if I suddenly move with no reason."

  "You have a point."

  "So, I'll do what I can to learn to ignore it and continue with my life. It's just been odd. There have even a few times that I would swear I was hearing not only what people were saying but what they were thinking too, but I know that's impossible."

  "Actually, it's not. It's entirely possible that you're telepathic. You need to let the Anikitos or the Alekto know about this the next time you talk to one of them, and they'll have someone teach you to shield, that will help you keep from hearing random thoughts."

  "I'll be sure to say something about it. What I'm really having a hard time with is sleeping with all the noise. I'm just not used to being able to hear people in the courtyard from my bed."

  "I used to turn on the radio, it helped to drown out some of the extra noise, but you have to keep it very, very quiet, or it'll be distracting too. Or you can put an old fashioned clock in your room, if you can find one. One of the old wind up ones, and at bed time you focus on the ticking, you just concentrate on hearing that and only that. Actually, any kind of white noise will probably work, a fan, an ocean waves or similar recording set to play all night. You have a lot more noise to learn to ignore than most do, living in that building where most just have their families to deal with, but the principles are the same. I'm sure it'll help that you're on the top floor and not on the bottom or middle."

  "I'll have to try one of those, thanks for the ideas. I swear I've tossed and turned all night long, both nights. Every creak and groan every step on the stairs outside woke me. Between that and the headache from the music last night, I'm ripped. I've had almost no rest since Friday."

  "Music? Wait a minute, what did you do last night?" He was suddenly suspicious.

  "I went out dancing with Izzy."

  "You went to a night club within 48 hrs of your first change?" His voice told clearly astonished, "And you didn't leave with your ears bleeding?"

  "No, but by the time I called it a night I had a massive headache. Sometimes the music sounded almost normal, but sometimes it was like I was inside the drum, inside the music and it was tearing me apart."

  "I'll bet! Didn't the Anikitos tell you that your hearing would be sensitive?"

  "Well, yeah, not in those words, but he told me my hearing would improve. But it never occurred to me that the night club would affect me like that. Plus, Izzy and I have been planning on going out for a couple of months and one or the other of us just hasn't been able to make it. I just couldn't cancel on her again."

  "And Nickie, being Nickie will do whatever she pleases."

  "Well, that too." I said, grinning, even though I knew he couldn't see it.

  "Did he warn you about your strength?"

  "No, not until I called him yesterday morning, having already had an encounter with it."

  "What did you break?"

  "What makes you so sure I broke something?"

  "Number one, I know you, remember? Number two, been there done that."

  "Just a glass, I managed to cut myself while I was at it, but it healed in just a couple of minutes so it was no big deal. Oh, and the doorknob to my bathroom no longer locks. Apparently they break when they get twisted too hard." Brandon was laughing too hard on the other end of the line to answer. "It really isn't that funny..."

  "Actually you've done less damage so far than a lot of the first timers do."

  "Oh?"

  "Yeah, I mean, just think about it a second. Most first timers are teenagers and have the hormones and tempers that are so common at that age."

  "Oh dear, I can imagine. I remember how much of a terror I was at that age, without the extra strength to 'aid' things along. So, just how much damage did you do?"

  "Let's see, I broke the glass out of Mom's back door... twice. I knocked my bedroom door off the hinges. I had this thing for slamming doors. It's really amazing how not having a bedroom door for a couple weeks will cure you of something like that." He said, sarcasm all but dripping from his voice.

  It was my turn to do the laughing and Brandon, unable to help himself, joined in.

  "Anyway," he said, still gasping for breath, "You're doing pretty well. How about next weekend we go for a run? This time both of us can go on four legs."

  "Um, I don't know…"

  "Do you have other plans?"

  "Well, no, not really." I didn't have to lie to Brandon, I could just tell him I didn't want to go, but that wasn't the case, I did want to, I was just nervous about shifting again.

  "So, why wouldn't we?"

  "Well, um." He must have heard something in my voice.

  "Nickie, have you shifted since we were out on Friday?" He suddenly wanted to know.

  "No, why would I?"

  "You're afraid to shift again aren't you?" I knew by his voice he was sure in his conclusion.

  "Not afraid exa
ctly…" I trailed off, after a moment’s hesitation I blurted it out, "But what if I can't do it on purpose? What if it was just a freak thing and I can't do it again. Or even worse, what if I can make it to wolf and not back to human again?"

  I heard him take a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking for the right words before he spoke again. "Nickie, if you're strong enough to shift back to human with the instructions I gave you and no other help, then you're perfectly strong enough to shift on your own, any time you want."

  "I can't shift alone, at least not at first. I need a spotter, someone who can call for help if I can't shift back."

  "Ok, I guess I can understand that. What time do you have to be to your parents this evening?"

  "No later than six. Why?"

  "I'll be there in fifteen minutes. That'll give us more than five hours for you into shift to your wolf, and back again, and even get the Anikitos or Harmonia to come help you shift back if you need it, before you have to be at your parents."

  "Are you sure we should do this today? We can't wait?"

  "Yes, we need to do it today. No waiting. The sooner the better, the longer you wait the harder it'll be to convince you can do it."

  "I guess… "

  "Good, now, pull a couple of the steaks from the freezer, I know you have some. I'll be there soon."

  "Ok, I guess I’ll see you then." I set down my already disconnected PCD onto the table.

  Not knowing what else to do, I did as Brandon had asked and I pulled a couple of steaks from the freezer and dropped them into a bowl of warm water to thaw while I waited for him to arrive. It wasn't long and when his knock sounded on the door I jumped. I was so lost in thought that I missed hearing his footsteps coming up the stairs.

  I knew it was Brandon at the door before I opened it to find him standing there, patiently waiting to be let inside. I motioned him inside and turning, I watched him as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

  "Are you ready for this?" He asked.

  "I'm not sure," I said nervously, "But it can't hurt. I've got no excuses now and I think I'll be better off to do it now than to continue to put it off. So, what's the first thing we need to do?"

  "Well," he said slowly, trying to keep from upsetting me, "You have two choices, you can either change into something you don't mind being destroyed or you can do what the rest of us do, and just take off your clothes first. Because, just like your clothes the other day on the trail, when you shift whatever clothing you're wearing are destroyed."

  Hearing this unsettled me more than a little bit, I'm a modest person. While sure, I might wear things like leather knee boots and hot pants out dancing, there was relatively little skin showing. I just wasn't one to wander around in little to no clothing, and I just wasn't sure I could handle the lack of clothing, not just for me but for everyone.

  "Are you sure?" I asked, holding out hope that he was trying to pull one over on me.

  "Sorry." He said, "I can make this a little easier for you if you'd like. How about I tell you what you need to do, then you go in the bedroom, strip and then shift. Once you're in wolf form I want you to come out and see me. I want to see you in wolf form to make sure you made the shift with no problems. After that, anytime you're ready, I'll fire up the grill while you try to shift back. Once you're human again, I'll toss the steaks on. Then I'll answer any questions you want to ask while we eat."

  "Why are you so stuck on eating? I'm going to be going to my parents and if I don't eat there they'll know something’s up." I asked, skipping anything about my shifting for the moment.

  "Because shifting takes energy, shifting once takes a lot of energy and shifting twice takes at least double that. After you've shifted twice you'll be starving. Remember how hungry you were Friday? It won't be quite as bad because you won't be doing the healing too, but trust me, you'll want something to eat. And eating now will keep you from eating more than normal in front of your family in a few hours.” I nodded, that not having occurred to me, “So, I'll fix something to eat, if you don't mind my invading your kitchen for a few minutes, while you practice shifting."

  "Ok, I guess," I was reluctant, not that I minded Brandon taking over my kitchen, he was a good friend and had spent a lot of time there, but something just didn't feel right. But as he started to explain to me what to do, I dismissed my misgivings and listened closely.

  "Good, now the first step is to sit, or bend down, it's possible to shift while standing but it's easier if you don't have to, especially at first. Then basically, it's the reverse of shifting to human, which you already know how to do. You just picture your wolf form and will yourself to take that shape."

  "That's it?"

  "That's it. It may take a few minutes to manage it at first, but with practice it gets faster."

  "Okay, let me double check this and make sure I have it clear... I picture my wolf form, a large wolf with fur the same color as my hair. By the way are all Kitsune wolves the same color as their hair?"

  "No, you just happen to be, which will make it easier for you."

  "Okay, so I picture my wolf form and simply wish myself into it?"

  "Not just wish, but will. You have to want to be the wolf and concentrate on wanting to be the wolf, your skin will tingle and feel really strange, like it did the last time and then you'll be the wolf."

  I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Okay, I think I'm ready to try this, wish me luck."

  "Good luck. I'll be in the kitchen working on getting the food ready. Join me once you’re in your wolf form."

  "You know where it is, make yourself at home" I said, heading through the doorway into my bedroom. I pushed the door until it was touching, but not latched. I was apprehensive, I wasn't sure I would be able shift into my wolf form on purpose, at least not alone.

  I slowly, nervously took off my clothes and folded them neatly before stacking them on the foot of my bed. Once I was ready, I bent down until I had one knee resting on the floor next to my other foot. I leaned forward until my chest pressed against my upraised knee and placed my hands on the floor just in front of the knee and foot supporting my weight. I closed my eyes and pictured in my mind a large wolf, one with soft auburn fur just the color of my hair. I wanted to be that wolf I NEEDED to be the wolf. I felt the tingling start, the almost stinging sensation all over my skin and then the bones and muscles in my body started to shift, the strange sensations almost broke my concentration but I remembered that it was something that should be happening, and I refused to let it to distract me. It's a little more painful to shift when you do it in purpose, or maybe it was that without the shock from the snake bite I was less distracted and I was now noticing it more.

  When the shifting and tingling finally subsided, I opened my eyes. I didn't feel any different. Wondering if it worked, I looked down at myself and found that I was covered in shaggy fur. Carefully walking over to the full length mirrors attached to my closet doors, and inspected my new body. I was large for a wolf, and the same deep red- brown color of my hair. I definitely wouldn't be mistaken for someone's dog, unless there was some huge, red, cross-breed roaming around that I didn't know about.

  I scratched at the bottom of my bedroom door enough to get my nose in the crack and swing it open as I left my room I marveled at the different perspective of my apartment in this form. I went into the kitchen where I could smell the potatoes that Brandon had started cooking in the microwave and the seasonings he had put onto the steaks that smelled so appealing. I heard him rattling things in one of the cabinets at the other end of the room. I walked over and used my nose to nudge the hand that was resting on the top of the cabinet door and watched him jump as I startled him. He must have really been concentrating on what he was looking for not to notice me come into the room.

  "Oh! You did it! Great!"

  I snorted at him and thought *Thank you, Captain Obvious.*

  "Hey," He laughed, "That wasn't nice!"

  I sat down,
shocked. I hadn't intended for him to hear that.

  "I guess we can be pretty certain now about that telepathy, huh? I might as well make use of it…do you have any corn?"

  *Yeah, it's in the cabinet over the microwave*

  "Great, I'll fix that too. You can stay like that for a while if you want or you can go shift back. It's up to you."