The Perfect First

by Hughes, Maya

  “He’s not satisfied with the six-and-oh season?” LJ rested his elbows on his thighs.

  “Family expectations are a bitch,” Nix grumbled. “And the pink-haired menace next door called the cops again.”

  We all groaned.

  “At least it was the campus police this time, not the city.” He squeezed his shoulder, massaging it.

  “Her house is where fun goes to die.” I peered out my window over at the house across the street. They’d pretty much been our nemesis from the day we moved in.

  “You’re in luck—I came prepared.” LJ leaned over the arm of the couch and pulled out another beer.

  I craned my neck. “How many beers do you have in there?”

  “I’ll never tell.”

  He slid the lid closed on the cooler he’d parked in my room.

  “We’ve got to win the championship.” Nix grabbed the beer from LJ’s hand.

  “What the hell do you think we’ve been trying to do?”

  “You don’t understand.” He ran his hands through his hair and took a long gulp from the bottle. “Your dad’s not like this? He’s never been an unrelenting force pushing you to play no matter what?” He stared at me in disbelief.

  “My dad wouldn’t even let me try out for the team in high school.”

  “What?” LJ and Nix both yelled at the same time.

  “I had to do it behind his back. It wasn’t until my name showed up in the paper for a seventy-yard touchdown—the longest in my high school’s history—that he even realized.” Sneaking my gear in through my bedroom window day after day for practice hadn’t been fun, but my dad had been strict about not playing. Part of me wondered if it was because he didn’t think I’d measure up or if he was worried I’d show him up.

  “He didn’t want you to play? Why?” LJ leaned against the arm of the couch.

  “We never really got beyond the whole ‘no’ part of that conversation. He quit when I was three, my brother was five, and my sister had just been born. Said he missed us too much and it was too hard on Mom to have to take care of the three of us all by herself.”

  “It’s a hell of a lot easier when you can pay for a nanny. I should know, because that’s what my dad did—when he wasn’t making me run drills for hours every day in the offseason.”

  “Families are fucked up sometimes, man.” LJ drummed his knuckles against the side of the condensation-covered bottle.

  “What about you? No family expectations now that the pros are right around the corner?”

  Nix and I both turned to LJ. He shrugged. “Not really. My mom’s happy if I’m happy. My dad still can’t believe I’ve made it this far. You’ve seen them at the games. They look at me like there’s got to be some mistake, not that this season is erasing any of their doubts.” He ran his knuckle along the edge of the neck of the bottle.

  “Coach is definitely gunning for you this season. Did you run over his dog?”

  I grabbed a pillow from the couch and chucked it at Nix. “I asked the same exact thing.”

  LJ picked at the label on his beer. “You have to promise you won’t tell anyone.”

  Nix and I both exchanged a look and leaned forward.

  He took a deep breath and sank back into the couch. “I didn’t run over his dog, but I did screw him over on a personal level.”

  Nix moved his hand in a circle, urging him to go on.

  “You know how people get when family’s involved.”

  Confusion swirled in my head. Family…what the hell?

  “She’s going to kill me if she finds out I told you.” He stared down at his bottle.

  “Would you just spill it?” Nix sat on the edge of my bed.

  “It’s about Coach and Marisa.”

  Nix shot me a look. “Coach is banging your best friend?”

  LJ’s head snapped up. “What? No! That’s disgusting.” His face scrunched up in a mask of horror. “She’s his daughter.”

  “Whoa. What?! She’s his daughter?” The picture on his desk. I’d known she looked familiar.

  He nodded. “Estranged daughter. When she started here, they hadn’t spoken in like five years.”

  “Why’s he got it out for you?”

  “She’s my best friend.”

  “And?”

  “And a condition of her being able to use his employment with the school for her tuition is weekly dinners at his house since the beginning of the semester. She didn’t want to go. I didn’t want her to have to leave school, so I offered to go with her. They have been uncomfortable, to say the least.” His lips pinched together.

  “You’ve been having weekly dinners with Coach.”

  “And Marisa.”

  “What the hell do you three talk about?”

  “Nothing. It’s literally like two hours of silence. I’d rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my nails.”

  “But why’s Coach taking it out on you?”

  LJ’s shoulders lifted and dropped back even lower. “I’ve known her since we were six. She won’t talk to him, but she talks to me. He gets two-hour silent treatment dinners once a week. I’m probably lucky he hasn’t tried to kill me during practice. He’s just determined to torpedo my career, is all.”

  Talk about being blindsided.

  “Damn, this growing up shit is no joke.” Nix leaned back against the wall, resting his head on his interlocked hands.

  “Even when you try to keep things simple and easy, shit always finds a way. It’s like Jurassic Park but with way worse special effects.” LJ chuckled at his own joke and tipped back his beer.

  “It’s only a few more months and all that goes away for you. Ready to get drafted?” Nix rolled the bottle between his hands, his eyes focusing on the top of the beer like he was a thousand miles away.

  “I’ve been ready since freshman year. What about you? Golden boy, finally following in your dad’s footsteps?” I lobbed a sock at his head. Him entering the draft was a foregone conclusion for pretty much the entire population of the Eastern Seaboard.

  His mouth twisted and he stared up at the ceiling. “Of course.” Shoving against the arms of the chair, he stood and picked up his empty bottle. “I’ve got a term paper to work on, might as well get started on that. What about you? How are classes going?”

  I picked up my bottle and tossed it between my hands, the empty, hollow sound shooting out the top with each toss. “They’re fine. Not like I’ll need them once I get drafted.”

  “It’s always good to have a backup plan.”

  “Like skipping straight to commentating instead of playing pro? We don’t all have the connections you have.”

  Nix chucked a balled-up piece of paper straight at my head. “Get to work, ass hat.” He opened my door and disappeared into the sea of people milling around in the hallway.

  I dumped my bottle into my trashcan. LJ stood by my window with his phone pressed against his ear.

  “Ris, if you don’t want to go, don’t go. He can’t force you to spend the break with him. You know I’ll back you up no matter what.” He ran his fingers through his hair, his reflection showing all the concern running through his face.

  If that was about her dad, LJ was signing his own no-draft agreement, but people did stupid things when it came to people they loved. That was why I was staying so far away from anything that might distract me, I might as well have been in a different solar system.

  He left my room. I locked the door and grabbed my noise-canceling headphones to block out Berk’s loud-ass voice carrying over the music and all the commotion downstairs.

  Staring at one of my papers, I re-read the same sentence three times. I closed my laptop and drummed my fingers on the warm metal. I picked up my phone and put it down. Hopping up out of my chair, I ran my hands through my hair and paced my room. She said she’s fine. She said she doesn’t want my help. She’s going to have to figure things out on her own anyway. Just let it go.

  She’d probably already slept with Graham. Sure, I
thought he was a dick, but he didn’t seem like a bad guy. She was smarter than him, and he’d probably be in awe of her massive brain.

  But I needed to make sure she was okay. If he’d hurt her, I’d break his nose. I snatched the phone up off my desk and tapped on her name, next to the picture I’d covertly snapped the last time I’d seen her. She’d had on a bright red hat, which somehow clashed with everything else she wore. Two herringbone braids stuck out from under the hat and lay over her shoulders.

  My finger hovered over the green button on my screen.

  11

  Seph

  “If this attitude is what I get for allowing you to go to Philadelphia, why don’t I see if the committee would accept you after this semester is over rather than in the spring?”

  Bile rose in my throat. “No, you’re right, Dad. I’m sorry.”

  His sound of displeasure brought back memories of the thumbprints bruised into the base of my neck. I rubbed my hand across my skin. They were gone now, hadn’t been there for years, but sometimes those old memories washed back over me and made it hard to breathe.

  “I’ll decide when you’re back here over Thanksgiving.”

  Tears welled in my eyes. Arguing would only cement the idea in his head. I let out a breath to keep the shakiness from my voice. “I’ll see you then.” Ending the call, I sat on my bed, staring down at my phone.

  There was a gentle knock on my door. Before I could say anything, it swung open.

  “Persephone, Dan is coming over and we’re going to watch a movie.” Her plastic smile was so big I was surprised her cheeks didn’t crack. Maybe this was her way of making amends. After my violin concerto to beat all performances, she’d been less pushy. Maybe standing up for myself in my own roundabout way had shifted things.

  “Sounds great. I’m sick of looking at these proofs anyway.” I closed my books. As I stretched my arms overhead, my spine cracked. I pressed my fingers into the small of my back, giving it a good stretch. All work and no play made Seph even more boring than she already was.

  Her smile dropped. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Why else would you mention watching a movie?” I stood from my chair and walked closer to her at the door.

  “Because I want you to leave.”

  I glanced up at the door frame for the bucket of pig’s blood. Of course that was what she wanted. Why would anyone want to be around me? Hell, Reece had almost let me drown at the pool. People either pretended I wasn’t there or wanted me gone. Unless I was Good Will Hunting it in a dusty old classroom, no one wanted me around. Maybe it made sense to just go along with my dad’s plan. It’s not like I was going to have a thriving social life anyways. That hard lump in my stomach grew and I needed some fresh air. So much for turning over a new leaf.

  Slamming my lips together, I nodded. “Right, I’ll go for a walk.” I grabbed my coat off the back of my door.

  “Make it a long one.” She waved and closed her door behind her.

  I put on my coat and stuck my hand into the pocket. My fingers wrapped around the folded piece of paper inside. Should I call Graham? He had seemed like he’d be up for my offer.

  Walking out of the apartment and outside, I opened it up and stared at the neatly printed list. Not a single one checked off. No closer to my goal.

  Holding it in my hand, I stared at it again, really looked at it. It was a list of things I’d made…why? So I could feel like I had a little control over my life. A list of things that would piss off my parents, maybe make me a bit more like my Aunt Sophie. It was stupid to even try.

  I couldn’t even rebel properly. How do you rebel when the person you’re rebelling against doesn’t even know you’re doing it? And who the hell made a list to rebel anyway? It was like penciling in a revolution. Rebellion was supposed to be messy, and somehow I’d managed to not only not tackle anything other than buying a stupid red hat, but also to have the most boring end to a rebellion ever. I balled it up and threw the paper into a trashcan outside the building.

  I made it two steps before a hand wrapped around my arm, tightening around my elbow. Yelping, I whipped around and slammed my hand into the grabber’s head as hard as I could. His hand dropped off my arm and he cradled his face.

  I spotted the bright blue sneakers with white stripes and the unmistakable head of black hair, and my hands shot up to my mouth. “Reece? Oh god, I’m so sorry. I thought you were a mugger or something.”

  “Yeah, I got that.” He rubbed his hand over his cheek, the street lights catching the deep tones of his eyes as he moved his jaw from side to side. “That’s a good swing you’ve got there.”

  “What are you doing here?” I looked up at the building. Was he visiting someone?

  “I came looking for you.”

  “Me?” I pointed my gloved fingers into the center of my chest.

  “You say that like it’s a total shock.”

  “After how we left things at the pool, I think it’s a warranted shock.” Don’t go back through a play-by-play again, standing in the middle of the sidewalk like a deer about to get hit by a Mac truck.

  “I’m sorry. I was an asshole. It’s a habit I sometimes fall into. And you dropped this.” He held up the crumpled piece of paper—my list.

  “No, I didn’t. I threw it away.”

  A pained look flashed across his face. “Don’t do that because I messed up.”

  “It’s not because you messed up. It was a stupid list to begin with.” I ran my fingers down the list. “Dessert for dinner? What am I, five?” I went to throw it toward the trashcan, but he caught my hand. His fingers skimmed along the separation between my coat and gloves, landing right on the pulse point on my wrist. My blood pounded in my veins, rushing to the surface and heating up my skin.

  He plucked the paper from my hand and stuck it in his pocket. “Don’t do that. Where are you going?”

  “I’ve been banished from my apartment again, so I was going to see a movie.”

  “I like movies.”

  “You won’t like this one.”

  “Try me.” He smiled back at me like a guy who’d never lost a bet in his life.

  I took my phone out and looked at the showtimes for nearby theaters. That was the best way to kill some time. There was a new French indie film playing at the multiplex, a limited run for only a few days. This should be good. I smiled right back at him and selected two seats.

  * * *

  “This doesn’t make any sense,” he leaned over and whispered in my ear, the air from his lips brushing across my neck.

  Focus, Seph. I took a breath and brought out the bug zapper for the butterflies. “It’s about the existential crisis of knowing you’re going to die.”

  “But everyone knows they’re going to die.” He held the giant tub of popcorn toward me.

  “There’s a difference between knowing it and knowing it.” I stuck my hand into the bucket Reece had bought at the concession stand and shoved the buttery, salty goodness into my mouth. I’d long since abandoned taking a single kernel at a time.

  A rumble from the theater next door rattled our seats.

  His head snapped up, longingly looking toward the wall.

  I stared at the other people in the theater: all couples. Pairs of occupied seats dotted the rows. There were less than ten people. As the film dragged on, the distance between their heads evaporated. I craned my neck and glanced back. The three couples in the five rows behind us were all in various stages of exploring each other’s tonsils.

  Settling back into my seat, I stared over at Reece. His face was a mask of confusion, but he was sticking with the movie, sticking it out because I’d chosen it.

  There was a big cheer from the audience in the theater beside us. I stared at the wall. It was probably one of the new superhero movies. I’d never seen any of them. At least with these movies, you were expected to be a little lost. Over there, I’d probably be the only one with no idea what was going on. Another place where inside
jokes would go straight over my head.

  Leaning back in my seat, I reached into the bucket. Time slowed as our hands brushed against each other. His completely enveloped mine. The coarse rub of his fingertips on the back of my hand sent sparks shooting through my arm. I needed a bigger bug zapper.

  I pulled my hand back at the same time he snatched his away. He handed over the entire tub and I was ready to be ditched at the movies. Blinking quickly, I shoveled a handful of popcorn into my mouth, not tasting a single piece. I couldn’t even go to a movie with someone without freaking them out.

  The low light from his phone filled up his lap. He tapped the button on the side and put it back in his pocket. No one around us seemed to notice.

  He stuck his arms into his coat and my stomach plummeted. He was definitely ditching me. My heart sped up and the old feelings of watching the other kids riding off on their bikes and leaving me in their dust rose to the surface.

  Covering our shared arm rest with his arm, he whispered into my ear. “Let’s go.”

  Jerking back, I stared at him, wide-eyed. “The movie’s not finished yet.”

  “So? Let’s go.” He lifted his chin, tilting his head back toward the exit. His eyes blazed with the challenge.

  Buckle up, buttercup. I grabbed the bucket of popcorn and followed him out. The dim lighting from the theater hallway made me feel like I was a vampire who had stepped out at noon. “Where are we going?” I whisper-shouted, trying to keep up with him.

  “You’ll see.” He grabbed my hand. “Hurry up.” Popcorn flew out of the bucket as he pulled me along.

  I glanced at the different names lit up in red LEDs above each theater. He walked up to the concession stand at the far end of the hallway. Taking the bucket from my hands, he handed it over to the concessions guy. “Can we get a refill? My girlfriend dropped it just as we were heading into our movie.”

  The guy nodded and turned to refill the bucket.

  My eyes widened and I stared at him. Reece winked and put his finger under my chin, closing my wide-open mouth.