Black Of Wing: A Quentin Black Paranormal Mystery Romance (Quentin Black Mystery Book 14)

by JC Andrijeski

  There was another silence.

  Then Yumi straightened, her expression stern.

  “No,” she said, absolute authority in her voice. “No, he’s not gone. My son isn’t going anywhere… ever again. Not while I’m alive.”

  There was another silence.

  Yet somehow, Yumi’s words settled it.

  I couldn’t have said how exactly, but I felt everyone around the table relax for real, even Hiroto, Nick’s father.

  Yumi walked back to her place at the table, next to Nick, and sat down.

  Picking up her napkin, she laid it back in her lap.

  Then she motioned to the platter of roast beef.

  “Could you pass that along, Elvis?” she said politely to Cowboy.

  Cowboy picked up the platter, smiling at her. “Yes, ma’am.”

  He handed the platter to Hiroto, who put it down on the other side of his plate, and began taking cuts of beef off with the serving forks. The asparagus began making the rounds after that, followed by mashed sweet potatoes, and rolls, and butter.

  Once all the food got moving again, Yumi turned to Dalejem.

  “How do you feel about children?” she asked him, stabbing her fork into an asparagus spear. “Do you like them?”

  Angel spit out her mouthful of wine.

  Bursting out in a laugh, she covered her mouth to try and stop it.

  It was futile.

  A few seconds later, all of us were cracking up.

  Well… almost all of us.

  Nick glowered around at everyone, but I could tell he wasn’t really angry. Like Yumi said, he was halfway leaning against Jem even now, his expression softening, seemingly involuntarily, as the seer rubbed his shoulder, his eyes still overly bright.

  I watched him look around at all of us sitting at his parents’ table, his expression verging on incredulous as he seemed to take in every face.

  I couldn’t read Nick, now that he was a vampire.

  I had no real idea what he was thinking at all.

  At the same time, I found myself thinking I did know.

  I knew exactly what he was thinking.

  Nick had finally come home.

  17

  Saying Everything Wrong

  Jax looked at Kiko where she stared out the window of the private plane.

  She had barely touched the meal in front of her.

  Jax knew she was worried.

  She was already worried.

  Look, Yarli murmured in his ear. You don’t have to tell her now. But someone should. Really, the doc should have, as soon as you all got to London… but that didn’t happen, so it’s up to you, Jax, if you want her to know before she gets back here.

  Where are they now? Jax kept his thoughts neutral. The boss and the doc… are they around? Could they be the ones to tell her, at least? I think it would mean more, coming from Black. She views him like a blood relative… like her family.

  There was a silence.

  Hello? Jax said. Do you know where they are, sister? Or are you looking for them?

  Yarli sighed. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

  Jax frowned.

  What does that mean? he sent.

  It means they’re all having dinner at Nick’s parents’ house, Yarli said, sighing. Jem, Cowboy, Angel, Miri… and Black, if you can believe it… are currently eating with Nick and his human parents. And before you say anything… I know. All I can tell you is, the boss brought a gun loaded with those vampire bullets that rip the shit out of their heads and/or hearts. He also wore a sword on his back, under his jacket. One of the short ones. So there’s a chance all of this will be a moot point by the time you and Kiko land.

  Jax’s frown deepened.

  Then he exhaled, his eyes still on Kiko.

  But you don’t think so, he thought next. You don’t think he’ll kill Nick.

  Yarli sighed, the sound audible even in the mind connection between them.

  No, she admitted. I don’t.

  After another short silence, she sighed again.

  I can’t even say they’re wrong, she admitted. I’ve talked to him, Jax. And to brother Dalejem. Nick is… weirdly… Nick again. It was hard to remember he’d ever been that other thing, at least while I was actually talking to him. And I don’t think he’d go near Kiko if you paid him. From what Jem said, the doc more or less forced the issue, or he wouldn’t have gone near her, either. But the doc’s known him a hell of a lot longer, and I think for her, it was more like seeing him rise from the dead. To her, that other thing wasn’t Nick at all… and really, from what I’ve observed, her take is likely the more accurate one.

  Jax frowned, still watching Kiko.

  I don’t think it will be good for Kiko to see him. Not right away.

  No one does, Yarli agreed. Literally no one. Like I said, I doubt that will be an issue. I’m more worried about how she’ll feel, knowing we’re all talking to him, and working with him, and that he’s a part of Black’s team, even on the periphery. I don’t want her to feel cut out. But I also don’t want her to feel like we’re going behind her back. I don’t want her to feel betrayed… by Black, by the doc, by any of us. I don’t want her to be hurt by Dalejem’s being with Nick. I want her to feel heard… and seen. And important. To all of us, not just Black.

  Jax frowned again, thinking about that.

  I might feel that way, he admitted. Betrayed. If it was me.

  Still thinking, he added,

  I might feel like everyone chose Nick over me. I might feel like my position on the team wasn’t what I thought. He rubbed his chest, grimacing. Honestly, it makes me feel sick, just thinking about it. It makes me want to hurt Nick… even if he is not the same.

  I would feel betrayed, too, Yarli admitted. Mañuel says the same. So does Holo. We all feel sick about it, but we aren’t sure how to tell her without bringing those feelings up in her. Really, there are only two choices, brother. Lie to her a while longer. Or tell her the truth. You are closer to her. I will let you decide.

  Jax nodded to himself.

  He agreed.

  Okay, he told the female seer. I’ve got to go.

  Just be gentle, brother.

  Jax nodded to that, too, but didn’t really answer.

  Really, there was nothing to say.

  He brought her ice cream.

  He knew it was feeble.

  It perhaps even verged on insulting.

  Still, it was as good of a segue as any. He knew she would pick up on something, and she did. She immediately knew something was up.

  “What is this about?” She quirked an eyebrow at him. “You’re not standing in the corner? Smoking hiri? Watching me and looking worried?” she teased. “Should I be even more worried that you’ve decided to come and talk to me like a normal damned person, Jax?”

  Jax didn’t smile.

  Some part of him wanted to, wanted to let her coax him into talking about something else, anything else.

  Instead, he handed her the bowl of ice cream.

  “Nick is alive,” he said, even as she took it from his fingers.

  The timing wasn’t great.

  She dropped the bowl.

  It slipped out of her fingers, and he only just caught it, sliding his hand under just in time to cup his palm underneath.

  “Sorry,” he said, flushing.

  She stared at him, even as he set the bowl down in front of her on the small table between the leather seats.

  Jax sat across from her, setting down a bowl for himself.

  “Do you want chocolate?” he said, glancing at the service area. “I think I saw syrup. And maybe some sprinkles… or peanuts…” Still thinking, he took a bite of ice cream, adding, “Also chocolate candies. Little round ones.”

  Kiko continued to stare at him.

  She’d gone pale, but her jaw had hardened.

  “Where is he?” she said.

  Jax frowned.

  “Nick,” she snapped. “Where is Nick right
now, Jax? Is that where Miri went?”

  “No.” He gestured a hard negative with his hand, seer-fashion, even as he shook his head, human-fashion. “No. She went because of the other dragon.”

  “The other dragon?”

  “Yes. That is unrelated to Nick… but I can update you on that, too.”

  There was another silence.

  Now Jax could feel mostly confusion coming off Kiko… and anger.

  He could tell his random––in her mind, “bizarre”––manner of revealing this information to her hadn’t helped her to absorb any of it, or even to pinpoint which parts to follow up on.

  “I am sorry,” he said, feeling a flush of embarrassment. “I said all of that badly. I just wanted you to be warned. Nick is back. It is complicated, but he is past the newborn stage of being a vampire. He is no longer dangerous.”

  There was a longer silence.

  Kiko frowned, like she wasn’t sure if he’d even spoken English.

  “No. Longer. Dangerous,” she said, pausing on each word.

  “Yes.” Jax felt his face warm more.

  “What does that mean?”

  He could feel the fear spiraling off her.

  It was difficult not to touch her, but he managed it, mostly by scooping up and eating another spoonful of ice cream.

  He noticed the ice cream in front of her hadn’t been touched.

  “I am sorry––” he began again.

  “Jem?” She stared at him, and now her eyes were brighter.

  She blinked it away, without looking away from Jax’s face.

  “…Did they find him?”

  She said it like she expected Jax to tell her he was dead.

  Thinking about that, feeling her grief, her certainty, he shook his head.

  Then, realizing she would misunderstand that, given what she’d asked, he spoke out loud, again doing everything both too slow and too hastily.

  “Jem’s fine. He came back with Nick. They are together now.”

  Kiko blinked, her jaw loosening.

  She stared at him, then blinked again.

  Confusion and pain reached her expression, right before she looked away.

  Watching her face, Jax grew worried for real.

  “I am sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know how to tell you. There didn’t seem a good way. But I am told the vampire who attacked you… the one Nick was for those weeks and months… he is gone now. Jem did something to help him through it, and now Nick is like he was before.”

  Pausing, Jax added, hoping it would reassure her,

  “Miri is okay with him now. They are friends again.”

  Jax felt his worry turn into fear as he watched Kiko’s face.

  She was so pale now, he was afraid she would faint.

  Reaching over the table, he caught hold of both of her arms, gently.

  She looked at him and his heart hurt, so badly he felt tears come to his eyes.

  “I am sorry,” he repeated. “Kiko… I am so sorry.”

  At a loss, he considered trying to soothe her with his light, but he didn’t want to violate her space. He could feel her indecision, the part of her that wanted to wrest free of his hands, but she didn’t move, and didn’t try to evade him.

  She didn’t meet his gaze, either.

  Both of them sat there for what felt like a long time.

  Jax didn’t speak. He didn’t move… not until he saw her breath hitching.

  He saw her struggle to breathe, even as her face turned bright red.

  Realizing she was fighting not to cry, he got up, and slid around the table in spite of himself. He wrapped his arms around her, doing it without thought. Pain slid through him as a memory flickered through his mind.

  He remembered being trapped in a building in New York… a different New York, on a different world, a different dimension.

  He remembered being in that elevator shaft…

  It was a long time ago now.

  Mostly, Jax tried not to think about those years.

  It pained him, though. Even now, it pained him.

  Back then, on that world, they just thought he’d cracked.

  They chalked it up to what used to be called “battle fatigue” or “shell shock,” and now usually got labeled as “post-traumatic stress disorder” or “PTSD.” No one on his team back then understood why it affected him so much. He felt it on his friends, even Holo, who’d known him longer than anyone. They didn’t understand.

  It scared them.

  He’d wanted to reassure them, but he couldn’t.

  He couldn’t talk to them. He couldn’t explain it. One of the seers on his team tried to help him find the source of the problem in his light, but he hadn’t been able to tell her anything, either, or help her to unravel what happened to him.

  Miri helped him.

  Not entirely, but Miri helped him more than anyone.

  But there’d been only so much she could do, too.

  He was still too locked down.

  Looking at Kiko now, he felt on her some of what he’d felt on himself. Something there resonated, that feeling of being alone, of having no one around her who understood. There was even that element of not fully remembering what happened to her. She didn’t remember it really, which made it worse in some ways. The full extent of her violation was a mystery to her, something she dreamed about, something her imagination tortured her with.

  Jax had that, too.

  The blurry, blackout crimes against his person happened when he’d still been a child, in the black-market slave camps of that other world.

  Those blackout memories somehow got triggered in an elevator shaft during a military op in a now-dead world. However they’d been triggered, they hadn’t left him in the time since. Jax still couldn’t remember exactly what had happened to him, but the darkness lingered in his light, making it so he had to talk himself into staying alive a lot of days.

  On that other world, Wreg had helped him.

  The Sword helped him.

  Jon, Holo, the Bridge, Maygar, Balidor, Yumi… Chandre.

  He’d had friends there.

  Real friends.

  He’d lost most of them, coming here.

  But then he’d made new ones.

  Here, on this world, the doc helped him. Black, Dalejem, Holo, Yarli, Mika… they’d all tried to help him, in different ways.

  Kiko had helped.

  He didn’t even know how she’d helped, but she had helped him.

  More than the doc, even.

  Thinking about that, Jax felt the pain in his throat and chest worsen.

  He wrapped his arms around her more tightly, almost roughly, with a kind of fierce gratitude and desire to help her he couldn’t put into words.

  Maybe for the same reason, he didn’t try to talk.

  He didn’t try to voice any of it.

  She didn’t push him away.

  Honestly, he half-expected her to, once he had his arms around her. He waited, holding his breath, ready to release her the instant he felt any kind of discomfort or resistance… but it never came.

  He felt relief on her instead.

  He felt a near-surrender.

  She was the toughest human he’d ever met.

  She was one of the best fighters, too.

  Maybe because of those things, he sometimes forgot how physically small she was. Now, as she curled up in his lap, wrapping a small hand around his ribs, Jax couldn’t help but notice.

  She let him pull her against his chest.

  Kiko didn’t wrap her arms around him, like he did her.

  She merged into him instead, as if huddling inside his warmth.

  Once she’d gotten comfortable in his lap, she rested her cheek against his chest, curling up on his thighs, wrapping the one hand more tightly around his ribs, slinging her leg around his. She let him tug her the rest of the way against him, and relaxed more when he began to rub her back, and the back of her neck.

  He let out a low purr as he
did it.

  He infused the purr with his living light, warming her chest and belly, doing anything he could think of to comfort her, to let her know she was safe.

  She didn’t push him away that time, either.

  Instead, she began to cry.

  Rocking her gently, he just kept rubbing her, pooling his light in her limbs, stroking her back, her arms, the back of her neck, her fingers…

  She put her hand on his cock.

  Jax tensed.

  It wasn’t a “no” tense, but she stopped, her hand still on him.

  She looked up, studying his eyes.

  “Is this all right?” she said.

  He hesitated.

  He nodded, then he hesitated again, even as her expression relaxed.

  “Is this… a good time for this?” he said, watching her brown eyes.

  “You like me, right?”

  Jax shivered, nodding. “I like you. I like you a lot.”

  “I like you, too, Jax.”

  She massaged him slowly, and his eyes closed, opening again after a long-feeling second.

  “I didn’t mean it for me,” he clarified, still watching every nuance of her expression. “I meant for you. Is this a good time for you?”

  “I honestly don’t know what that means,” she said, her voice flat. “I just know I haven’t been with anyone since then. Before that, there was Jem.”

  She paused, as if turning this over in her mind. Her hand continued to massage him sensually, causing him to bite the inside of his cheek.

  “I suppose Jem had a thing for Nick, even then,” she said after a pause. “I think I even knew that, somehow. Jem wanted Nick. Nick wanted Miri. Then Nick got turned… everything changed. Right?”

  Watching her eyes, Jax nodded slowly.

  “Right.”

  He felt his worry about their timing resurface.

  He hesitated, fighting back the pain in his light.

  He grew more sure about the timing being wrong when he saw the grief in her face.

  “It is too soon,” he said softly, laying his hand on top of hers. “It is too soon, yes?”

  She frowned a little, looking down at his hand on hers.

  Her eyes shifted back up.

  “Have you ever known that to matter?” she said. “In something like this?”

  She fell silent, watching his eyes, maybe looking for a real answer.