Lonely Lullaby

by Vannah Summers

  I watched the guys’ chests rise and fall heavily as the last notes rang out through the music hall. The audience screamed and whistled, wreaking havoc on my eardrums, and I wondered if I was going to have any hearing impairments from tonight’s screeching fangirls.

  Chapter 19

  “Wow,” I whispered to myself as Oliver thanked the praise of the crowd.

  “They’re really good,” Whitney said, her face just as awed as mine must have been.

  Parker set up one of the microphones next to the drums, directing it so he could sing into the mic.

  From the front of the stage, Kai said, “Thank you! Next, Parker and I have a song we wrote together. It’s called ‘Firecracker.’”

  “I’ll need a little help from the audience,” Parker said.

  He smiled as he took off his headphones and quickly bounded over to where we stood beside the stage. He dropped to his knees and extended his arms out to Whitney, his gaze asking for permission from me. Fans screamed for him to pick them, but he ignored them. I gave him a subtle nod, and Whitney squealed as she was lifted over the small barrier that separated the stage from the crowd. The security guards frowned at Parker but didn’t stop him.

  My fingers grasped my necklace as I watched him lead her back over to the keyboard. He pointed to certain keys, and both of them nodded at each other. He sent Kai a thumbs up, and Kai turned back to face his drums.

  Parker’s slim fingers danced across the white keys, playing an upbeat tempo. Whitney tapped a couple keys next to him, smiling like a lunatic as she lit up like a disco ball, her shirt a bedazzled beacon on the stage.

  Kai drummed quickly on his set, matching Parker’s rhythm as they set the quick pace for the song. Parker leaned partially forward and sang into the microphone set up next to his keyboard.

  “Don’t you dare touch me one more time,” he began, his voice a gruff whisper. “My worth’s not for you to decide... Burned and broken, I’ll fight you back... Surprise you with a sneak attack... “

  He paused singing, taking up a harsher beat as Kai sang into his own microphone by his drums. “My anger’s blazing up a storm... The heat becoming far too warm,” he sang in a deep baritone. “My heart’s an inferno of pain... Because of you, it’s not the same...”

  Together, they belted out, “I’ll shoot off like a firecracker... Shove like a linebacker... Won’t know what hit ya ‘til it’s after... I’ll be a home-run batter...”

  Parker shut his eyes filled with shadows, letting his fingers caress the keys as Kai tapped a stable beat on his drums. Kai began the next verse.

  “Observe what will happen... When I divulge your sins...”

  Parker took up the next part, releasing his pain out through his ivory keys. Whitney still tapped contentedly at her two keys beside him, though she was offbeat. “When I fight back... You’ll realize you will never win...”

  Parker and Kai played harder and stronger now, finishing up their song together.

  “I’ll shoot off like a firecracker... Shove like a linebacker... Won’t know what hit ya ‘til it’s after... I’ll be a home-run batter...”

  My eyes were glued to them, unable to look away. Parker wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, and Kai beamed as he waved at the wound-up crowd.

  Parker led Whitney back to me and sent me a questioning glance, silently asking if he was in trouble. I scowled in response as he carefully returned Whitney to me, and I settled her by my side.

  He didn’t say anything as he stood up but sent me an apologetic smile as he returned to his keyboard. It seemed the guys were switching things around as Kai abandoned his drums to take the center mic.

  “This next song is one of my favorites.” Kai wiped the back of his arm across his forehead. Parker played softly on his keyboard, the song’s beginning notes sifting through the sweaty air while Christian’s fingers caressed the strings of his bass. “Here’s ‘Secret Lover.’”

  Kai crooned into the mic, his words melting some of this ice I had felt from his behavior earlier with the fan girls. “I dream of what you will be like... The day I’ll get to call you mine...”

  Parker and Christian played on Kai’s left and right. Christian tapped a foot against the dark stage floor, keeping in beat with the music as Kai continued.

  “I’ll hold you close and not let go... I’ll kiss you in the rain and snow... “

  His eyes met mine from where I stood in the crowd, and I swallowed hard at the tenderness displayed in their warm depths. He continued to sing, his gaze holding mine, and I only picked up bits and pieces of the lyrics, my mind too sidetracked by his brown eyes.

  “Hey, secret lover on my mind... I think I’ve got a crush on you... “

  The next hour went by too fast, with each of the guys splitting off into groups to perform for their audience. They were incredible, playing and singing with such energy that they rivaled Whitney. Some songs were ballads while others had the whole music hall jumping on the balls of its feet. I didn’t recognize any of their songs, probably because I didn’t listen to the radio often. Sometimes at work we would turn it on, but we normally played top pop songs.

  But when the guys played their songs, it felt different. Like each one told a story, trying to get a point across. There were songs about broken families, wishing to make up for past mistakes, and even about stopping to smell spring tulips. I felt each lyric deep in my bones, and it was then in that small music hall that I felt something inside me shift, something vulnerable and fragile. It was like my heart was warning me that these boys were dangerous. Dangerous for my heart, my soul.

  And it terrified me to no end. All I wanted to do was run and hide and never come back. My reaction didn’t make any sense, any yet I couldn’t stop the tremor starting up in my hands.

  When it came to the last song, the guys gathered into the same spots as when they first played.

  “Okay.” Oliver grinned against the mic. “You’ve all been the best audience! But sadly, it’s time for this lovely night to come to an end.”

  Boos and shouts resounding through the hall.

  With a shake of his head, Oliver continued. “I know, I know. It’s been a blast, and we hate to call it a night, but everything eventually comes to an end. Thanks for being such an incredible audience, and we hope to come back to Salt Lake again! We’re going to leave you with the song ‘Reverse.’”

  Kai started them off with a slow tempo, and Oliver strummed smoothly on his guitar. The mellow and melancholy tone held a hint of pain shining through the cords. Muted keys sounded from under Oliver’s gentle playing as Hunter plucked at hushed strings on his bass.

  Oliver sighed softly into the microphone, his voice gentle and pleading as he began. “If I could, I’d tell my past self... Just what he could achieve... Help him handle what he was dealt... And maybe give him strength to leave...”

  Ace’s guitar added to the soothing music as he began playing. The notes coming from his instrument were light, rising above the low chords of the bass.

  “If I could make him listen then,” Oliver continued. “He’d heed my warnings carefully... I’d no longer feel guilt from sins... ‘Cause I’d control my destiny...”

  Ace moved to stand next to Oliver. Together, their voices melded as they began the chorus.

  “Every action and every thought... Has led us where we are today... But if you could go change your plot... Do you think you’d want to stay?”

  Hunter and Christian walked toward each other, coming to stand beside one another as they played. The sweet notes of the guitars complimented the deep chords of the bass, and once again, the uniqueness of this group struck me.

  Oliver closed his eyes as the others walked back to their original positions. My eyes followed the guys around the stage, letting go of my irritation as I listened to their music. “I’d like to think I’d stay the same... But my mistakes still haunt my dreams...”

  His eyes flicked open, and it looked like his mind was somewhere else. I
wondered where he’d gone. “I’d probably cover up my shame... And reverse my wrongs from fate’s strings...”

  The six all sang the chorus together one last time, their breathing coming out heavily as they gathered around their mics. Each and every one of them had sweat beaded on his forehead, and the lights reflected enticingly on their chests and bare skin.

  “Every action and every thought... Has lead us where we are today... But if you could go change your plot...”

  “Do you think you’d want to stay?”

  A tap on my arm brought my attention around to find Arthur standing next to me. He made a motion for Whitney and me to follow him, so I grabbed Whitney’s hand and tugged her alongside me as he led us back the way we’d first entered the auditorium. It was chaos once we made it backstage as workers moved about, loading and moving equipment.

  Still lost in the euphoria of the music, we stood off to the side with Arthur while the notes of the guys’ last song came to an end.

  Hunter exited off the stage first, still with his bass strapped to his torso. A frown line creased between his furrowed brows as he yanked the bass off his body, and I worried for the beautifully sleek instrument.

  “Hey, Hutch!” His frown shifted into a smile, and his tone turned teasing. “Get your roadie ass over here and help a brother out.”

  Hutch, a young man waiting on the sidelines, rolled his eyes. Accepting Hunter’s bass, he headed off somewhere backstage, presumably to put the bass away.

  When Hunter noticed us, I tried to smile and push away the tension that clung to the air around me, but his frown deepened as he locked gazes with me. The others soon followed off the stage, Oliver and Kai being the last ones off.

  Ogling their smiling, glistening faces, I knew it would be a struggle to focus my attention on anything but the six beautiful men in front of me.

  The guys still breathed hard and fast, drawing my attention to their partially naked torsos. They handed their instruments off to the other roadies before crowding around Whitney and me. Ace was the only one who appeared almost nonplussed, as if sweat didn’t dare cling to his body.

  Hunter still watched me carefully from the back of the group, and I gulped from his studious attention. None of the others seemed to notice the quiver of my fingers as I held my hands at my sides.

  Arthur tapped Kai on the shoulder, and the two of them huddled, whispering together slightly apart from our group.

  I turned and stared at Christian’s warm eyes as he came to stand beside me. “So... something you wanna tell me?”

  He sent me a cheeky smile. “Nope, nothing.”

  Oliver reached up and wiped his forehead with the back of his palm, his eyes trained on me.

  “So…” With a coy grin, he sauntered toward me, pulling me close to his side. The heat from his body radiated into mine. Sweet peppermint hung in the air around us and teased my nose as he continued. “What did you think of your first concert? Did we make the experience worthwhile?”

  I leaned my head against his shoulder and listened to Whitney as she informed Hunter he should probably shower. Hunter ignored the insult and allowed her to climb onto his back for a piggyback ride with a humored smirk. “It was beautiful.”

  Ace’s mouth tilted up slightly, but his eyes were trained on the bare shoulder of mine that Oliver stroked with his thumb. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

  Oliver kissed my forehead, causing Ace to stiffen. “I was so ridiculously nervous knowing you were out there watching me play.” He winked and pulled away.

  I took a step away from him but ended up catching my foot on a cord. I stumbled, but warm arms enveloped my waist, pulling me back into firm chest.

  “Be careful, amor,” Christian said before lowering his mouth to whisper in my ear, “if you’re going to fall for me, at least make sure I’m there to catch you first.” I raised my eyebrows at him, but he continued, his words like a caress against the shell of my ear. “E então nós podemos cair juntos.”

  “Okay, big guy,” Oliver said, snatching my hand and pulling me away from Christian and toward a door marked as the band’s room. “Come on, let’s go get a snack before we have our meet and greet.”

  I let him lead me to their band room while the others trailed close behind, and the weight of their eyes on my back raised goose bumps over my arms as Oliver opened the door to the room. He sat me on the couch against the wall to our right before handing me a banana to munch on and a cold water bottle. Even though I wasn’t hungry, I accepted them gratefully and slid back the peel of the banana as the others entered the room.

  Arthur, the last one into the room, stared at his cell phone. “Okay, we have about ten minutes before the meet and greet happens. Make sure you eat something and hydrate. I cannot stress that enough.” He glared at Oliver. “Hydrate so we don’t have any more fainting issues.”

  Oliver shrugged and twisted the cap off of a fresh water bottle. “I’ve had plenty to drink, I promise.”

  Arthur nodded and looked back at his phone. “I’ve got to go let the guests in, but I’ll be back in a few minutes to get you.”

  He left us, and the others sat down around the room on the various bean bag chairs and loveseats, taking a break while they could.

  “What’s a meet and greet?” Whitney asked no one in particular.

  Parker answered. “It’s what we usually do after a concert. We meet with some fans who bought special tickets and hang out for a little bit.”

  Hunter snorted and came to stand against the wall directly by my side of the couch with Whitney trailing along beside him. It surprised me that he’d choose to be close to me because he normally kept his distance. I glanced up at him, but he glared at the ceiling with his arms folded tightly against his chest. “More like getting my eardrums burst by a bunch of squealing groupies hoping we’ll let them fuck us.”

  “Fudge us,” Oliver corrected, nodding at Whitney sifting through the food in the room.

  A grimace tried to form on my lips at the thought of them spending time with other girls, but I shoved it down deep. This was their career, and I had no business being jealous that people appreciated their music.

  I bit my lip and fought my apprehension. Sure, I didn’t like the idea of others making advancements on the guys, but I realized some of them probably enjoyed the attention. My eyes strayed to Kai in particular and found him watching me worriedly. Quickly, I dropped my gaze to the banana in my hands and took another bite.

  “Would you like to play a game while we wait?” Oliver asked Whitney, sitting back on his butt on the ground beside me. I smiled as she nodded eagerly at him. I had to agree, too. A game sounded like a nice distraction. “Then what would you like to play?”

  “Um, I’m not sure,” she said. “You pick.”

  “How about ‘truth or dare’?” Oliver asked, and multiple groans sounded around the room.

  “Maybe another time,” Ace said. “Instead, we could play a get to know you game.”

  “I know!” Oliver said in excitement. “How about ‘never have I ever’?”

  I’d heard of that one but never actually played it.

  Murmurs of agreement went around, and everyone took a seat around the room.

  Ace glared at Oliver. “Clean version, then.”

  Parker took the other side of the love seat next to Christian while Ace and Kai sat down on the couch across from us. Whitney dragged Hunter to a nearby beanbag chair and giggled when he sank into it before joining him.

  “Do you know how to play?” Parker asked Whitney and me, and I shook my head.

  “Don’t you start with five fingers, then everyone goes around and says something they haven’t ever done. If someone else has done it, then they have to put down one of their fingers,” Whitney said, and I raised my brows, impressed that she knew.

  “That’s correct, Whitney.” Ace smiled.

  That made sense, and we all held up a hand.

  “Okay, I’ll start.” Kai grinned, scrunching hi
s eyebrows together while he thought of something. “Never have I ever read the Lord of the Rings.”

  Parker and Ace both put a finger down with a roll of their eyes.

  Parker went next, holding up his four remaining fingers. “Never have I ever lived in Korea.”

  Kai grumbled and lowered a finger down. “I only lived there for like two months!”

  “You’ve lived in Korea?” I asked, and he nodded.

  “Yes, just when I was younger.” He stuck his tongue out at Parker. “Which really shouldn’t count.”

  Parker smirked. “Still counts.”

  Christian was next and said, “Never have I ever been stung by a bee.”

  Everyone but Christian and Whitney put down a finger. I smiled, already enjoying the game until I realized my turn came next. “Um,” I said, stalling for time. I really should have been thinking about what I could say. There were lots of things I’d never done, though, so I was able to come up with something pretty easily. “Never have I ever been outside of Utah.”

  All of the guys lost a finger.

  “Nice play, Tessa.” Oliver sent me a wink. “Nice play.”

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Parker said, and I peeked over at him. He was grinning, his dimple making an appearance. “We’ll fix that shortly.”

  Oliver cleared his throat before he went and sent me another wink. “Well, never have I ever shaved my legs.”

  I groaned playfully as I lowered a finger, and Whitney giggled as she put her first finger down. She’d gotten into my stash of razors this past year, and I had not been impressed.

  Surprised to catch Kai trying to secretly remove a finger without us noticing, I shot him an inquiring look.

  “I wanted to know what it felt like,” he said in defeat at being caught, though his eyes shined with humor, and the others snickered.

  “Never have I ever had a cavity,” Hunter said, taking his turn.

  I’d had a couple when I was younger, though Whitney’s teeth had always been squeaky clean. All of us but Hunter, Ace, and Whitney put a finger down.