The Single Mums' Book Club

by Victoria Cooke

  Janey practically jumps out of her seat. ‘Perfect. I haven’t seen it either but have heard so many good things.’

  ‘I kept meaning to give it a whirl but once the kids are in bed, I just need something light and short, so I tend to binge on Friends reruns or Schitt’s Creek.’ I don’t say why I need something light to help me sleep.

  She pulls out her phone and starts typing. ‘I’m just ordering it now. Do you want me to get you a copy whilst I’ve got it here on Amazon?’

  I shake my head. ‘I’ll sort out a copy.’ Perhaps I can raid the local charity shops.

  ‘Fantastic,’ Janey says jigging with excitement. ‘I’ll get the next round in.’

  Before I can stop her she’s off. I search for a copy of The Handmaid’s Tale online but once you factor in postage it’s the price of a couple of packed lunches. If I can’t get a second-hand copy, I’ll join the library over in Crinkly.

  ‘Here you go, book buddy!’ she says, plonking another beer down in front of me with enough enthusiasm the white foam sloshes over the top.

  Chapter 4

  Something about going out and being in Janey’s company has really spurred me on. I’ve found an advert for a bookkeeper position at a vet’s practice in Crinkly, which is the next village along to ours. Rather than request the application form by email, I decided to drive over and ask for one. Otis could do with a worming tablet and I thought it would be better to meet the staff in person, just to prove I don’t have two heads or anything. I’ve been out of work so long that any employer worth their salt is bound to think there’s something wrong with me.

  Inside, it’s quite dark and dingy. The tall reception desk is panelled in worn, dark wood. There’s an empty chair behind it. Otis starts to whimper and tug me back towards the door – he’s not a fan of the vet’s and the distinctive smell must be prompting some unpleasant memories. I crouch down as best I can whilst balancing Henry, and stroke his head until he calms a little. Still, nobody appears and I don’t want to knock on the door that says: ‘Consultation Room’. For all I know, the vet could be in there telling someone their beloved pet is dead so I should wait. On the other hand, I could be here hours. The decaying remains of Otis and me could go undiscovered for years. There’s an advert for the job on the practice’s noticeboard that says, ‘Ask at reception for an application form.’ Brilliant!

  After five long minutes, I go to leave but the door creaks open behind me. It’s the one to the consultation room.

  A tall man appears. He’s on a cordless phone and doesn’t seem to have noticed me so I sit patiently.

  ‘Yes, Mrs Pearson, the last time you attended was the seventh. Let me just check that for you.’ He balances the phone between his ear and his shoulder before walking behind the reception desk where he starts clicking on the computer.

  ‘Was it cash you thought you’d paid? Hang on, Carly keeps a paper record. I’m just going to put you on hold.’

  He starts to flick through a paper file on the desk. Two deep lines form between his eyebrows.

  ‘Buggering bugger.’ He slams the file down. ‘For God’s sake.’

  I shrink down into the chair hoping he doesn’t notice me, and for once Henry rests quietly against me.

  The man turns his attention back to the computer and starts clicking away. ‘Bloody hell.’

  He eventually picks his phone back up. ‘Mrs Pearson, I’ll need to double-check with Carly but I think you’re up to date. Don’t worry. You too.’

  He hangs up his phone and slumps in the swivel chair, letting out a sigh that sounds like a slowly deflating hot air balloon. I don’t really know what to do. He’s never going to give me a job now I’ve just witnessed his outburst; he’ll be too embarrassed to ever want to see me again. I sit silently, hoping he goes back in the other room without spotting me.

  Then his eyes lock on mine. I freeze, like it helps with invisibility or something.

  ‘Oh, Jesus. I’m so sorry. Can I help you at all?’ he asks, rising to his feet and smoothing down his trousers.

  I look away, feeling more than a little awkward but Otis yanks on the lead, desperate to get over to the man for a head pat and before I know it, I’m about a foot away looking up into his mesmerising blue eyes.

  ‘Hi,’ I say, plastering on a smile whilst wrestling the lead. ‘Sorry, he gets excited.’ The vet crouches down and fusses Otis, who, in turn, wags his tail in a state of euphoric glee. Honestly, you would think he was neglected.

  ‘I’m Edward and I’m afraid I don’t cope well with chaos.’ When he’s not cursing, his voice is less harsh. It’s richer, deeper and much more smooth. He’s wearing tweed. Lots of tweed and looks like he’s wandered off the set of All Creatures Great and Small. Despite that, I can tell he’s a similar age to me; mid (okay, late) thirties. I thought you had to go to university for forty-seven years to train to be a vet but apparently not. He’s tall and strong-looking with light brown hair but there’s something incredibly warm about him too.

  ‘Did you need me to take a look at him?’ He gestures to Otis, who is still ridiculously excited to the point where he seems to have forgotten about his fear of the vet’s. This place doesn’t have the same feel as the large, modern chain that Mike made us go to in the city centre. It’s traditional, homely. Perhaps Otis is picking up on that.

  ‘Oh, no. He’s fine. Mental but fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you. You seem really busy. I can come back.’ I turn to leave.

  ‘Don’t be silly, you’re here now and besides, I’m always busy so you’d be hard pushed to find me otherwise.’ He smiles and his sodalite eyes crinkle a little in the corners. They’re the kind of eyes that are hard to look at. The kind that compel you to look, but when you do, they make you … feel things. Like their beholder can see deeper into your soul with each glint. I look away. How can someone who shoves his arms in cow bums for a living be so captivating?

  I shake my head subtly and focus. ‘I just popped in for an application form for the bookkeeping job.’

  He sighs and his cheeks flush a blotchy rose. ‘Ah. That makes you witnessing my little outburst even more embarrassing. Carly should be on reception but she’s always buggering off for a fag when I’m not looking and despite having a doctorate, I can’t for the life of me fathom her quirky admin systems. There should be some here.’ He rummages through a paper tray on the reception desk and eventually pulls something out.

  ‘Are you a bookkeeper?’ he asks, handing me, but not letting go of, the forms.

  ‘I am,’ I say, then point to Henry. ‘At least I was, before children came along. I’m looking to get back into the workplace.’

  ‘Great. Though I have to warn you, I inherited this practice from my late father and I’ve not had a chance to update the systems and things yet. I’m afraid our books are paper-based and we still use Roman numerals.’

  My forehead crumples, then I realise he’s joking and relax. This could be perfect. ‘Well, that suits me. I’m a little out of date myself – I have a son who’s doing his SATs soon and we’ve been revising Roman numerals.’ I smile and watch as his upper body loosens. ‘In all seriousness, when I took time out to have children, the whole sector seemed to take that as their cue to change everything!’ He smiles again and his eyes catch a stream of dusty sunlight beaming in through the small window in the entrance door.

  ‘So, how long have you had the surgery?’ I ask, somehow intrigued by this tweed-clad stranger.

  ‘Eight years.’

  ‘Oh.’ I can’t hide my surprise.

  ‘I know. I’ve had plenty of time and I’m a real stickler for being organised normally. It’s just that my dad’s old bookkeeper stayed on for a while. Mabel, God rest her soul. She was lovely but not exactly the computer whizz I needed to make any efficient or meaningful change. Anyway, Carly came along and has had a bash but, between you and me, she’s not exactly up to the job either.’ The door opens and a young woman walks in. ‘Ahh, Carly!’

  �
�Sorry, Doc, felt faint and needed some fresh air.’ She erupts into a quite timely, crackling smoker’s cough.

  Edward glances at me and raises a humorous eyebrow. I stifle a giggle.

  ‘Can’t beat a good old lungful of fresh air. Glad you’re feeling better. Anyhow …’ He gestures to me.

  ‘Stephanie,’ I supply.

  ‘Steph wishes to apply for the bookkeeper job and I have to wrestle some antibiotics down the throat of a labradoodle, so could you take over?’

  ‘’Course,’ she says.

  When he leaves I sort of hover in his wake. Nobody ever calls me Steph and I quite liked the familiarity of it. Edward seemed to fill the waiting area somehow and now he’s gone, the place seems cavernous. I have what I need but it seems rude to just leave now he’s introduced me to Carly.

  ‘He’s a bit stuffy but he’s all right. Anyway, the application deadline is next Tuesday.’ She leans forward on the desk, her dry, mousy hair tumbling over the edge. ‘I shouldn’t be telling you this, but we’ve not had any applicants yet. Between you and me I don’t think he’s paying enough.’

  I glance at the hourly pay on the advert. If I get the job, I shan’t be turning left on an aeroplane any time soon, or indeed stepping onto an aeroplane any time soon but it’s enough to top up what I’m short of each month. ‘That’s good to know. Thanks.’

  I leave with a strange feeling. Animals have never really been my thing; Otis was Mike’s idea but we decided it was best he stayed with the children and I’ve grown to love him. I don’t dislike animals, but I’ve never called myself an animal lover. I’ve never even taken my kids to the zoo, but something about this dated little practice makes me feel like I belong.

  Chapter 5

  ‘So,’ Janey says, squeezing her shoulders excitedly as she pours us both a glass of Pinot Blush with enough vigour that some sloshes over the edge. She wipes the wine splodge with her finger. ‘The Handmaid’s Tale. What did you think? I think we’re supposed to discuss plot and characters and stuff.’

  ‘I, er, well. It’s eerily realistic at the moment isn’t it?’ I say. Truth is, I’ve been so busy with the kids that I didn’t get the chance to read past the back cover. I cheated and watched season one on Sky. I really hate lying to Janey, but I can’t admit that I fell at the first hurdle.

  ‘Oh my God, yes. The things that are happening are happening somewhere in the world right now,’ she says. ‘That’s why it’s so scary and to be honest, the perpetual cycle of thankless cooking and cleaning doesn’t seem so far removed from my own life.’

  ‘Oh, Janey, I know things can be like that at times but you have a beautiful family.’

  Janey leans forward but her face drops to the floor. ‘I know. It’s just …’ She takes a gulp of her wine. ‘It’s Jimmy. I just wish he was a proper husband. Honestly, if he’s not off working, he’s at the pub with his mates all the time whilst I keep the house and everything going without so much as a goodnight kiss. Every now and then he expects his conjugal rights with no sort of lead-up. I feel like bloody Offred at times.’

  ‘Janey, I’m sorry. Have you spoken to him about it?’

  She shakes her head. ‘Not for a long time. To be honest I’m so knackered most evenings that a hot bath and an early night is enough for me. I suppose I just wish that he wanted to be more present in all our lives. At least the mothers in The Handmaid’s Tale have all those other women to support them.’

  ‘Well, now you have me.’

  She smiles and pulls her knees up onto the sofa, hugging them into her body. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Just don’t expect me to wear one of those uncomfortable-looking dresses like Serena does. Teal is not my colour.’

  Janey narrows her eyes at me. ‘Uncomfortable-looking – you didn’t read the book, did you?’

  I wince. ‘No, sorry. I watched season one of the TV show because I didn’t get time – the kids have been full-on this week and I had to make Ava a scarecrow costume for the summer show. Goodness knows why they need the costumes so early.’

  To my relief, she giggles. ‘Oh, thank goodness, me neither. I did at least revise the differences between the book and the show so I wouldn’t get caught out – that’s how I know the dresses were blue in the book, not teal. Good though isn’t it?’

  ‘Brilliant. I’m hooked!’

  ‘How about we get started on season two since we don’t have a book to discuss.’

  ‘Sounds good.’ She snuggles into the love seat and I curl up on the sofa and press play.

  ***

  ‘Jesus,’ Janey says as the credits roll at the end of episode one. ‘They’re not holding back this season, are they?’

  I shake my head. ‘No! I think I need a cuppa!’

  When I return from the kitchen with my teapot (which I’ve decided I might as well use now), Janey is flicking through her phone.

  ‘I called into the vet’s to ask about that job today,’ I say, placing the tray down on the table.

  ‘Brilliant. Good for you.’ Janey shuffles forwards, reaches over the table, and pours the steaming-hot tea into two cups. ‘And, what did you think?’

  ‘It’s a strange little place, very dark and dingy. Seems like there are just the receptionist and vet working there who were like chalk and cheese, but it had a vibe about it that I can’t explain. Sort of homely but upbeat I suppose.’

  ‘That sounds positive. Had there been much interest?’

  ‘No, that’s the bit that’s quite exciting. Nobody has applied yet, and when I did a bit of digging, it seems like they’ve been after someone for about five weeks now.’

  Janey raises an eyebrow in suspicion. ‘What’s the catch? Dark, dingy, two weirdos—’

  ‘I never said they were weird.’

  ‘Dark, dingy, two people who are complete opposites and one common interest.’

  ‘Animal health and wellbeing?’

  ‘Axe murderers. They must be.’ She sits back and punctuates the statement with a sip of her tea.

  ‘What exactly do you read normally?’ I tease, shaking my head, and she cackles with laughter.

  ‘In all seriousness, if you liked the vibe go for it.’

  ‘I do and I am. I’ve already filled in the application form. I’m going to drop it in on Monday.’

  ‘Good for you – well done for putting yourself out there.’

  There’s sincerity in her face that makes my chest swell. It’s been a long time since someone had my back. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘So …’ She slurps the last of her tea. ‘What’s next on our reading list?’

  ‘I’ve no idea,’ I say. I’ve spent the last ten years in a blur of nappies and school homework and I haven’t really paid much attention to books. I only thought of The Handmaid’s Tale because you’d have to be living under a rock not to have heard of it.

  ‘How about something that isn’t a movie or TV show?’ Janey says. ‘At least then we’ll have to read it.’

  ‘Sounds wise – we obviously can’t be trusted.’

  She’s already scrolling through her phone but makes noise of agreement. ‘How about Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine? I heard the mums at the school gate talking about it a while back and made a note of it in my phone.’

  ‘Perfect; and we’ll do better this time. Much better!’

  Chapter 6

  After dropping Ava and Ralph at school, I head to the vet’s with a sleeping Henry in tow. Once again, Carly is nowhere to be seen, so I take a seat with Henry on my knee and await her appearance. After a few minutes, the vet comes out. He regards me with a furrowed brow before recognition melts his features.

  ‘Ahh, it’s the out-of-date bookkeeper.’

  ‘That’s me but who cares about expiry dates anyway?’ I joke, badly. The vet smiles awkwardly before crouching down to look at Henry.

  ‘I’ve never seen a case of canine alopecia so bad. Didn’t he have a thick black and white coat on Monday?’ he says.

  I wince.

&
nbsp; ‘Sorry, that was a terrible joke,’ he says. ‘Sometimes working alone can make you a little bit mad and my nurse, Helen, isn’t here today.’

  ‘Perhaps we’ll stick to saving animals on your part and number crunching on mine,’ I say light-heartedly.

  ‘Anyway, Carly has disappeared again so what can I do for you?’

  ‘I just wanted to hand you this,’ I say, thrusting an A4 manila envelope towards him. He raises an eyebrow. ‘It’s my application form.’

  His face seems to illuminate. ‘Ahh, that’s wonderful. What’s your name again?’

  ‘Stephanie.’

  He holds out his hand. ‘Pleased to meet you again, Steph. I’m Edward.’ As I take his hand, a little zap of energy jolts me. I can’t help but wonder if he feels it too, as he pulls his hand away quite quickly then takes a step back. I’m being ridiculous.

  ‘Er … as you are aware we’ve been inundated with applicants for the position. Particularly museum curators and those with a keen interest in historical artefacts – those people can’t wait to get their paws on my computer systems.’

  I laugh softly. ‘Of course.’

  He taps the envelope. ‘I’ll take a look at this and be in touch soon.’

  ‘I’ll look forward to hearing from you.’ I struggle to stand. With Henry asleep, he’s like a lead weight and when I bend to pick up my bag, I can’t quite manage to get low enough to scoop it up.

  ‘Here, let me get that for you.’ Edward picks up my bag and hands it to me before opening the door.

  ‘Thank you.’

  As I walk out, Carly scurries back in batting a smoke cloud away from herself and I can’t help but think they’re such an unlikely team.

  Chapter 7

  After calling in at the vet’s, I head to the supermarket. I can’t quite believe my luck – Henry is still asleep as I shove his podgy legs into the trolley and place him on the seat. I’m feeling much more positive about shopping today. There’s some money in my purse as Mike has paid up for the kids, which instantly puts me in a better position than last week. I get the staples: raisins, Rice Krispie Squares and Petits Filous, or ‘silencers’ as I prefer to call them and chuck in the least offensive veg I can find. I try my luck with a courgette. If I blend it with tomato, garlic and onion and serve it with pasta, the kids will eat it and it will be one-nil to Mum. As I reach the checkout, Henry stirs.