Something I'm Waiting to Tell You

by Shravya Bhinder

  ‘No, not at all! I would love to keep him. I adore him and you know that. Moreover, I had been longing to see him and spend some time with him. It seems like forever that I got to pat him. I miss him,’ she told me happily and I was relieved.

  ‘Will your mother allow it?’ I asked her with doubts bursting into my thoughts. Her mother didn’t like me and naturally, her emotions overflowed and touched everything and everyone that was connected to me. She once adored Tamanna but since she’d become my sister-in-law, Adira’s mother despised her. Once, she even said that her husband had done some black magic on her which was why she was not the same girl that she had been when she was single. She called her a girl who had lost track of her life and submitted to her husband when she could have been happier and more successful had she chosen someone else as a partner. She was cold towards Piyush as well. Every time I took Samba to meet Adira, her mother complained a lot about the amount of hair he shed and called him a hairball bomb—not lovingly, of course!

  ‘I will manage Mummy. You don’t know it but she asked me if I wanted a puppy. Every time she sees a pug she asks the owner if they are planning to breed more or if they have a litter. She might look and behave as if she doesn’t love or care but she does. More than you know . . .’

  I wondered if her mother would one day like me too, or just be okay with me being around her. Or was her liking just limited to the dog? My eyes moved to find Samba and I wondered if he was normal. While he had been chasing his tail clockwise for the past several minutes, he decided to change direction and run anti-clockwise after the tail. Can one love and hate someone at the same time? I was feeling both the feelings for the dog chasing its tail in front of me. He was adorable but I was filled with hatred for him all of a sudden because he had managed to do what I couldn’t. Lucky bastard! He would get to live with Adira and her mother and would be making his way into their hearts while I would be crazily looking for accommodation for both of us.

  The next two days flew by as I packed and prepared. On the third day, I took a day off, packed three more small bags, dumped them in the boot, and made the four-hour journey in six hours to Chandigarh. I had never lived away from my house for long and whenever I had, I had my mother to help me out with packing. I was a grown man and it is indeed nothing to be proud of, but when one lives in a house all their life with their mother, they are kind of dependent on her. My parents still owned a beat-up Maruti Zen. I had never bothered to get another car of my own. There had been no need as I mostly took the metro to work and Papa still had his Vespa scooter for when I wanted to meet friends. I didn’t want to overheat the old car. So, Samba and I took frequent breaks, and our journey extended by two more hours.

  When we reached our destination, we were both tired, exhausted, hungry, and I was in need of a shower. I straightaway headed to Adira’s door. I had travelled all day and could be carrying COVID-19 germs. So, I pulled a mask on my face, pulled Samba out of the car, and texted Adira.

  WE ARE HERE, COME AND TAKE YOUR BOY INSIDE

  Cheeky? I know, right, but it was okay once in a while I guess. I was expecting a grinning girl to open the door but to my surprise, her mother came out to pick up Samba instead. She had a mask on through which she said, ‘You must be carrying a lot of germs; did you sanitize your hands before holding the leash? Is the leash clean? When did he last bathe? Why is he panting?’

  There were way too many questions, and I was just too tired to respond to her remarks, so I just randomly nodded my head not bothering to reply to any. My eyes roamed to the space behind her as I tried to peek into the house. She knew who I was looking for.

  ‘She has a friend over, a boy. His name is Siddharth. He is a manager in a big firm. Did you get a promotion yet?’

  Of course, I could see what she was trying to do but I didn’t react. I just counted from one till ten and calmed my nerves. ‘I shall come to meet her in the evening,’ I declared and turned on my heel. Samba, the unfaithful dog, followed her inside wagging his tail. ‘Traitor,’ I muttered under my breath and started the car. The next stop was the Sharma residence and I was so grateful to them, for being willing to help an unknown man during such times.

  Sometimes good luck is hidden in bad luck and sometimes bad luck is hidden in good luck.

  It is all a part of life. It is all a part of the game.

  Ronnie

  After an encounter with her mother, I was too tired to care about the man who was in Adira’s company. I made my way to Mr Sharma’s house. It was not very far from Adira’s mother’s home and the distance gave me some pleasure. It would be fairly easy to come over more than once a day, I thought, and started weaving dreams as I dragged my feet up to my temporary residence’s door. I didn’t get all my stuff out of the car as I had decided not to scare the generous people. I had over-packed and if I had to give you an outsider’s viewpoint, it appeared that I was moving houses instead of moving in temporarily. I rang the doorbell and birds chirped. That was not unusual; our neighbours had the same doorbell. It was indeed a blessing that Samba was not to live there as he could never control himself around loud doorbells.

  A few moments after ringing the bell, just when I was thinking of pressing the button again, a woman came to the door to let me in. I introduced myself and she smiled at me before letting me know that they were expecting me. That was Mrs Sharma, a woman who was my mother’s age. I bent down to touch her feet and she ever so lightly placed her palm on my head muttering her blessings. Mr Sharma joined us and I followed the same process. ‘You travel very light. We were told that you are to stay here for two weeks,’ the gentleman joked. I told him that I didn’t want to bring all my luggage inside in one go.

  ‘There is a lot of stuff in the car, Uncle,’ I told him and he cracked a joke about how his wife carries everything right from a pen to a chopping board on their trips. They were a nice couple and after our interaction, I realized that my time there could be memorable in their company. I was shown into a decently furnished bedroom.

  ‘I would like to pay for my stay, Uncle,’ I told him as he showed me the attached washroom. ‘I cannot take advantage of your kindness,’ I added.

  ‘You are just like our son and we have been told that you need the space for only two weeks. We cannot accept any money. Just be nice, keep the room clean and keep praising Mrs Sharma’s food!’ he joked with a wink and left me in the room without taking up my offer.

  I was now missing my parents much more than I usually did. So, I moved in a couple of bags and sent a message to my sister to check if they were all free for a video call. There was no response from her for some time, so I took a quick shower. By the time I walked out of the bathroom, there were three missed calls and a few messages from her. The last one had come in a few moments ago. I dialled her number and finally got to see my family after a while. They all looked healthy and happy, including the kids. ‘I think you are making it very difficult for yourself, you have lost so much weight,’ my concerned mother said and made me laugh.

  ‘You think that I am losing weight all the time, Mummy. Look at this,’ I tried to flex my muscles in front of the camera and it was my sister’s turn to roll on the floor laughing.

  ‘Those are not muscles, yeh masle hain inka hal dhoondo (these are problems that need a solution),’ she said and naturally everyone else laughed along with her.

  ‘Ha ha, very funny! You think of your own tummy, motu (fatty),’ I teased her and our brother-sister banter continued for a while.

  ‘How is Adira?’ Papa asked me and everyone went quiet.

  ‘She is better now. I am yet to meet her,’ I told them all. We chatted for a bit and then I bid them all goodbye.

  My mood was elevated and could feel happiness fill me after seeing my family. I put on a grey T-shirt with a collar, dark blue denims, then slipped my shoes on, and headed out of the room. Mrs Sharma, like all mothers, was concerned about my food. She reminded me that I had not eaten for many hours and it made sense to fill
my rumbling tummy with some of her home-cooked food. That was the moment when I was also told that I was living with a pure vegetarian family and they would let me stay only if I followed the same food rules. Looking at the delicious poha in front of me, I had no trouble accepting. After all, it was only going to be for a few days. I checked my watch and realized that the entire day had just flown by, and I had not done a single thing that I had planned to do. I had not met Adira yet, I had not even drafted a business proposal for two prospective investors for TeachMee. Tamanna would be after my case that evening as she had high hopes of getting funding from a US-based angel investment company. Putting aside the horrifying thoughts of Tamanna strangling the life out of me, I told Mrs Sharma that I would be gone for some time to meet a friend. ‘Do not meet a lot of people, and sanitize your hands before you touch our doorbell. Take a shower as soon as you come back. What time will you come?’ She gave me a series of instructions.

  ‘An hour, hour and a half maximum,’ I told her, pretty sure that Adira’s mother would not let me stay with her any longer than that.

  ‘My son should be back by then, too,’ she told me and I nodded. I was yet to meet and greet the younger Mr Sharma and thank him for his and his family’s generosity. Mr Sharma had some work in the neighbourhood so while we were in the same vicinity, we had not met yet. Tamanna had given me strict instructions to be nice and leave a parting gift as a sign of my gratitude. More than my manners, it was my fear of her that forced me to stay in check most of the time as well as on this occasion. I informed Mrs Sharma that I was looking forward to meeting her son and stepped out of the house to meet Adira.

  Adira and her mother lived in a double-storey house, which was spacious and too big for just two women to live in. I had spent enough time in the house to know that there were more than three bedrooms that remained unoccupied at any given time. I wondered if her mother might, after all, agree to let me stay there. It would be the perfect place for me to live for the rest of the time that I could work from anywhere. I decided to be nice to her and see if she would give in to my charm. Whether I had any charm in me or not was something I wanted to think a lot about.

  For a change, the doorbell was answered by Adira and my face lit up. She wore a light pink kurti and white salwar. A blue mask was dangling from her left ear and she grinned at me. Swiftly she secured her mask on her face while I stood there staring at her. Her long hair was longer than what I remembered. She was wearing several silver bangles on her right hand that made a beautiful tingling noise every time she made even the slightest movement. Not only did Adira smile at me but she also gave me a light hug as we met. It was a friendly gesture but was enough to send my heart racing. I could not help an ugly blush creep up on me. It was embarrassing, so I decided not to look into her eyes and focused on her feet instead. She was not wearing shoes, her nails were painted red and looked lovely. Suddenly, it occurred to me that I was wearing a mask; the blush was hidden and I felt my confidence returning. I grinned like a monkey underneath the mask even as she turned around to lead the way. As she turned, my eyes fell on the ॐ tattoo at the nape of her neck, as she had moved her hair to one side. I observed that her limp was less prominent as I followed her into the house, sanitizing my hands, thinking about her, about us, about our past, about our future.

  Just when I was getting too ahead of myself, I saw him sprawled on the sofa with his hand leisurely resting on the hand rest. A tall, broad man with a well-trimmed beard, he was talking animatedly to Adira’s mother and the old woman was blushing or laughing or doing both. Under his feet lay the animal who was supposed to die saving my life—Samba—keeping all his loyalty at bay and enjoying himself as his tummy was being caressed by the man’s feet. But he was doing nothing that was expected of him. Samba was on the floor, under that man’s feet enjoying his feet caress him. I knew pugs are not known for their loyalty but this one was a disgrace to his race.

  ‘This is Sid,’ Adira said to me as if I had to be told. This man was just as I had envisioned him. Good-looking, confident, and everything that I was not. How could anyone think that he was there only to be friends with this girl? There had to be more to it. He was not blind. Maybe it was not me but this guy who was the reason Adira was extra happy and improving day by day. I should have been happy for her—I had promised that to myself but I was not. I was anything but happy for any of them and my heart tore into pieces.

  As soon as we walked in, Sid looked at us. Just as I could tell it was him by the way he was sitting, he too could tell who I was. I felt that in his gaze. Adira had mentioned more than once that she and Sid did talk about me. He knew me as her friend, he knew me as her past. He smiled at me warmly or maybe he smiled at Adira and I was in the way. Nevertheless, I had to be the gentleman just as he was, especially because both Adira and her mother were there. So, I extended my hand for a handshake. His grip was firm, which was no surprise and we introduced ourselves to each other. Just as we were taking our respective seats on the couch it occurred to me that I had seen this guy somewhere . . . but where? I couldn’t pinpoint it. So I did what I usually do when I am unable to place a person, I stared at him for what felt like ages but it must have not been more than a few moments before I placed his face with a name. I had seen his picture or a picture of someone who looked very similar to him at the house I had just left my stuff in, took a shower in, and walked out of. Was Sid Mr Sharma’s son? If yes, then that made him Tamanna’s boss, the young and ambitious Mr Sharma who had climbed up the corporate ladder in record time and was very passionate about his job.

  There was only one way to find out. ‘Are you . . .?’ I asked and paused at the word abruptly. ‘No, we are not dating,’ he said, laughing. The laugh was so smooth, he was so smooth, he made me look like a chimp in front of everyone and no, I was not asking him whether he was dating Adira. She had told me they were just friends and I believed her—this over-smart, overgroomed man need not tell me that. ‘I was not asking you that because I know!’ I gave him a curt smile while taking off my mask. The atmosphere in the room changed and he was not the happy guy any more. He looked at me with squinting eyes. He was the son of my new landlords, his pictures were all over their home, and I was planning to leech off his parents’ niceness for the next two weeks. Was I happy about it? I had no time to think about it. First things first, was he who I thought he was? Because, if he was, that would mess up things a bit—for me, of course, as he was the hotshot single manager with wonderful parents.

  ‘Do you work at Zantra Advertising with Tamanna?’ I asked.

  ‘What? You know my best friend?’ Adira squeaked at the mere mention of Tamanna’s name.

  ‘I do know her. She is a part of the team that I lead,’ he said emphasizing ‘team I lead’. I heard it as he meant for her to hear it.

  ‘What? And you are telling me now?’ I loved to see Adira all hyped up and happy about things but not at that moment. It is easier said than done, you know, being happy for the one you love, but I was trying. I am not perfect, but I was trying to improve for her.

  ‘I didn’t mean to tell you even today about my work and you never told me that Tamanna is your best friend or we could have maybe tried to piece it all together.’ Great! So I initiated the conversation and I was now out of it. She beamed at him and he twisted in his seat. She was making him blush. How much more romantic could it get for him? I wondered and cleared my throat. My tiny noise was met by glares from Adira’s mother. I had completely forgotten that she was still there just as Sid and Adira had forgotten about my presence in the room.

  Ignoring her eagle eye, I said, ‘It was I who started the conversation really, because I am living in your house.’ I shrugged as all eyes turned towards me. Sid burst into a big laugh and then asked, ‘You what?’

  ‘Did you have a word with Tamanna about a guy who was planning to live with you until he found a place to live? That is me,’ I spelt it out for him, and he nodded as if mentally kicking himself to have agreed to
keeping me with him.

  ‘Oh Ronnie, that is so nice!’ Adira looked between us and threw me a generous smile, the one that I feel is always reserved just for me, with her pearly set of teeth on display.

  ‘Yes, it is,’ Sid said, not meaning the words at all and I nodded, not taking my eyes off him. It was a strange situation. I was offered tea which I declined because I wanted to just be with Adira and not be slowly poisoned by her mother. So I did what I had come there for. I started talking to Adira about things that only we spoke about, such as my family, our friends, et cetera, but shameless Mr Sharma kept intruding into our conversation.

  Adira had begun her physiotherapy again and was feeling much better. The limp was for life, but her legs hurt much less when she stood up for hours at a time or walked up and down the stairs. She needed fewer painkillers now, which was a piece of great news. She was excited to have Samba there and I told her all that there was to know about his schedule before Sid and I left her place in our cars. He drove a Creta but it didn’t bother me much because, unlike her mother, Adira was so not into anything materialistic. But somewhere I did know that this guy stood a chance with her, he stood a chance with anyone that he was interested in. Once inside his house, his parents made me meet him and neither of us told them that we had met at Adira’s house because he had not told his parents anything about his visits to her and they always thought that he was out for some work. I kept mum because I didn’t know his parents’ take on the situation as Adira’s mother and Sid’s mother were friends and I didn’t want to make things awkward for me while I stayed at their home. They were all nice people honestly, including Sid, and barring him, they were being very nice to me too. There was no need for unnecessary friction.