by Liz Durano
I can see her mood turn dark and I take her hand, squeezing it. “Things will work out, Sarah. This guy will pay for what he’s doing to you.”
“Easier said than done, but it’s a start. I’ll also need to fly to New York one of these days to build the case against him which means I’ll have to relive everything,” she says, sighing. “My idea of a fun time.”
“I can come with you if you want.”
She smiles. “Thanks, Benny, but that’s okay. My dad will be there.”
“Just know I’m a phone call away.”
Sarah laughs. “Yeah, right, and New York is just a hop, skip and a jump from here.”
I pinch her chin playfully. “For you, Sarah, I’d do more than hop, skip, and jump.”
She eyes me, looking unconvinced. “Really?”
“Yup, I would.”
“That’s a nice thought, but I’m serious. I’ve got my dad. He’ll be in New York then. That’s why the security guys will be in the house with Mom, Nana, and Dax. He’s gonna be in New York for at least four… five weeks this time. They’re moving to a new office. Bigger.”
“I can’t imagine how he can leave your mother for weeks at a time. I’d go crazy.”
Sarah shrugs. “It’s how they seem to work the best, I guess. Mom hates New York and it’s how Dad is able to afford all this.” She waves her hand toward house behind her. “You could say they’re trade-offs.”
“I guess I’m different,” I say as Sarah meets my gaze, our first kiss last night coming back to me, the feel of her lips, the taste of her tongue. “I want my woman with me all the time. I wouldn’t be able to be away from her for a week, much less two.”
“Your woman. I like the sound of that.” Sarah bites her lower lip as she studies me. “Sounds like you’re staking a claim or something.” Behind her, the front door opens and her parents, Dax, and Nana step outside.
“I am,” I growl as Sarah steps back, blushing.
“I made you these, mija.” Nana hands a pile of plastic containers to Sarah. “And these are for you, Benny,” she adds as Dax steps forward and thrusts a plastic container toward me.
“Blue corn enchiladas. Red chiles, cheese and onions,” Nana says. “I’d have topped it with a fried egg but since you guys are on your way back, maybe you can do it when you’re ready to eat.”
“Blue corn enchiladas?” I look at the container, my mouth watering. “Well, in that case, Nana, thank you. I can’t wait to try it.”
I open the truck door and arrange the plastic containers behind the front passenger seat before turning to face the Drexel family again. Sarah’s busy hugging everyone goodbye and promising to be back in a week or two while I shake hands with Dax who’s still not sure what to think about me. When I shake Daniel’s hand, I can see from the way his jaw clenches that he’s still not impressed with me either. But if he wanted to relay his sentiments in words, Pearl doesn’t give him a chance for she and Nana step toward me and Daniel makes way for them.
“You drive safe, okay? We hope to see you again soon, Benny,” Pearl wraps me in a hug followed by Nana. As the older woman strokes my bearded cheek, Pearl says something in Spanish that makes Sarah blush and Daniel scowl even more.
In the truck as we drive off, I ask Sarah what her mother said and she blushes even more. At first, she resists.
“I can’t tell you, Benny. It’s something between women.”
“Your dad heard it,” I say, grinning. “He didn’t look too happy.”
Sarah chuckles, her cheeks reddening. “She says you’re a keeper and that I shouldn’t let you go.”
The heat that rises to my face is something that catches me by surprise. The urge to turn around and give Pearl Drexel a hug is another, but I force myself to remain calm. Duty, I tell myself again and again, like a mantra. Still, it doesn’t stop me from being curious. “What do you think?”
Sarah bites her lip and winks at me. “My mother’s hardly ever wrong.”
For the next three hours, I do my best to stay within the legal speed limit while ignoring the undercurrent of anticipation between us. It’s there and it’s thick, filling the spaces between our words and our glances.
Sure, we talk about stuff like who’s singing the current song on the radio or if my AC/DC CD is the same one from our UNM days, but that’s only to pass the time, a distraction for what’s really going on. The stolen glances and the knowing looks we exchange throughout the drive tell me all I need to know about where we’re going to end up if we don’t stop.
Why did I have to kiss her last night? And why am I feeling thrilled learning her mother considers me a keeper? Noelle probably thought the same thing and look what that got her. Six years of waiting for her on-again-off-again boyfriend to make up his mind, the same on-again-off-again boyfriend who’s now thinking of sleeping with someone else.
“Are you okay?” Sarah asks as I slow down and exit the highway. “You’ve rarely said anything the past two hours.”
“We talked about music.”
“Yeah, but you’ve been mostly quiet outside of that.”
I shrug. “Just thinking about work in the morning, that’s all.”
Sarah doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, her eyes on the road.
“I’m sorry my mom said what she said,” she says when I stop at a light. “It’s not like we’re dating or anything.”
I shrug. “It’s no big deal.”
“It is when you close up on me like you just did.”
I exhale, grateful that the light turns green which means I’ll be dropping her off at her apartment in no time. “I’m really just thinking about work, Sarah. That’s all.”
She doesn’t say anything for the rest of the drive back to her apartment, the invisible wall between us turning the atmosphere in the cab almost stifling. As soon as I stop the truck in front of her apartment, Sarah unclips her seatbelt and grabs her backpack from the back of my seat.
“Thanks so much for the ride, Benny,” she says, refusing to meet my eyes as she pulls open the door and jumps out.
“Sarah, wait up.” I do my best to keep my voice calm, grabbing the bag of food at the back of the cab and following her to her front door.
“What are you doing?” She stops in front of her apartment building and faces me. “You should be heading home. It’s late and I don’t want to interfere with your work any further.”
“I’m going to walk you to your apartment and check every nook and cranny before I leave,” I reply as she punches a code on the panel next to the door.
“I’m not a damsel in distress, Benny,” she says as she pulls open the door and walks in. “I can take care of myself.”
“Will you let me check, at least?”
“And then what? You’ll fight the intruder yourself? Or call 911?” She presses a button for the elevator and the doors slide open. I follow her inside. “Go live your life, Benny. Don’t lead me on.”
“Then I won’t,” I say, the hurt in her eyes making my chest tighten. “I’ll leave as soon as I make sure your apartment is safe.”
“Whatever makes you feel good about yourself, Benny,” Sarah says as the elevator doors slide open and we step out. As she unlocks the door to her apartment, I know it’s for the best. Last night was a mistake and I can’t make it worse by following what my heart really wants. I’ll only hurt Sarah and that’s the last thing I want to do.
Chapter Eleven
I’m pissed. I’m disappointed. And I’m horny as hell. Too bad Benny suddenly isn’t about to give in one inch.
Well, I’m going to show him that I couldn’t care less about him. I don’t need him and I don’t want him in my life. Not anymore. What the hell was I thinking last night, believing he and I actually had something… a spark, at least? Because there was a spark—a damn fire, even—on that dance floor last night.
And then there was his kiss.
How the hell can he tease me with a kiss and then a few hours later, back off like he
’d just realized he’d kissed a leper? Has he seen my pictures online? Has he decided I’m suddenly not good enough?
I watch Benny walk across my living room, checking the windows as thunder rumbles in the distance. He disappears in my bathroom and then my bedroom. I can’t believe I let him in, trusted him? I can’t believe how gullible I’ve been.
Crossing my arms in front of me, I stand by my door. I should be grateful that he’s taking the time to check but I’m not. By the time he walks out into the living room and announces that everything looks fine, I’m livid. Fine, my ass.
“Get out and never talk to me again.”
Benny’s jaw clenches and he nods, not saying a word. My heart sinks. Why isn’t he saying something… anything? After the last two days… after all the flirting, why is he suddenly closed up?
“Is that it?” I ask angrily as he brushes past me and reaches for the doorknob. “You’re just going to walk away like that? After last night… after… after kissing me and making me believe–”
“Make you believe what?”
I look up, aware that he’s standing so close to me. His eyes are blazing, the heat from his body unmistakable. It sears right through me. But I don’t let it affect me. I can’t.
“Make me believe there’s more to us than just friends,” I reply, my heart racing.
“Because we are friends, Sarah,” he says.
“Then why did you kiss me last night?” When he doesn’t answer, I continue. “Look, if you had no intention for that kiss to go anywhere, you shouldn’t have done it. You shouldn’t have led me on. You should have just said no like you did that first time two years ago. But no, you had to kiss me last night. And for whatever reason you did it, guess what? It worked! You made me expect something that you never meant to happen. You made me–”
I don’t finish what I say for Benny suddenly presses me against the wall, his hands cupping my face, his knee wedged between my thighs as his mouth descends on mine. The kiss is angry, deep, primal, his tongue sweeping across my upper lip before plunging deep in my mouth, tasting me, claiming me. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, my nipples hardening against his chest. I don’t care what he thinks anymore. I don’t care. I don’t care.
I. Don’t. Care.
All I care about is this moment, Benny staking his claim on me as one hand leaves my face to move down my neck and lower, cupping my breast and squeezing it. I moan against his mouth, aware that my body is on fire under his touch, his thumb circling around a taut nipple through my lace bra.
He pulls away, his eyes dark with desire, his nostrils flaring. “You talk too much. Do you know that?”
“No, I didn’t, but I couldn’t let you just walk away like that without letting you know how I feel.”
He groans. “I’ve never wanted anyone as bad as I’ve wanted you, Sarah. Since the beginning…”
“Then show me,” I breathe as Benny lowers his face again, this time kissing my neck, his teeth grazing my skin, his tongue blazing a trail along the sensitive skin behind my ear, making me shiver with anticipation. I moan at the possessiveness of it all, as if two long years spent apart ends at this moment when there are no more walls, no more excuses why we can’t do this.
No more fear.
I work the buttons of his shirt, desperate to feel my hands against his hot taut skin but Benny grabs my wrists and brings them above my head, trapping me with his strong hands. I don’t fight him. His grip is tight but not painful. It’s possessive and powerful, just the way I like it. His mouth leaves my neck to claim my mouth again. Tasting, owning, possessing.
Heat pools between my legs as my knees threaten to fold under me. He slides a hand down my shirt, unbuttoning it. I moan, kissing him back, my tongue slipping between his teeth. There’s nothing gentle about this and I like it. I crave it. I’m ready to lose myself to him as he rubs his thumb against the lace of my bra, teasing my nipple. As he rubs his hips against mine, the feel of his erection is unmistakable.
Suddenly Benny pulls away and my heart sinks. “What’s wrong?” I ask as he lets go of my wrists. I don’t think I can take any more.
“Your bedroom, or I’m going to take you right here,” he rasps and I grab his wrist, guiding him down the hallway leading to my bedroom, my heart hammering inside my chest. It’s happening. It’s really happening. Benny in my apartment, in my bedroom. And this time, he’s not saying, no, not tonight, Sarah, like he did that night two years ago. Sure, I’d been drunk then, all my inhibitions gone as I dared to tell my best friend my deepest darkest secrets believing he’d go for it. After all, he had a crush on me, didn’t he? So why the hell wouldn’t he?
Only he didn’t, not then.
When we reach my bedroom, we stop in front of my bed and I feel Benny’s arms circle my waist from behind, nuzzling his face into my neck. His beard scratches my skin as he kisses me, blazing a whisper of a trail from my shoulder up to the skin behind my ear. Goosebumps erupt on my skin as I bring my head back, his tongue soft and hot against my skin.
“Undo your jeans, Sarah,” he murmurs and I do as he orders, my head resting against his shoulder, his fingers drawing maddening circles around my nipple through my lace bra. His breath is warm against my skin, searing through every part of me that he touches with his mouth, his tongue, his fingers. I bring one arm down, my hand reaching for him, my other arm looping over his head, resting on the back of his neck. I want more. No, I want it all. When Benny slides his hand inside my jeans, I moan, arching my back.
“Stay still, Sarah, or I’ll stop.”
My breath hitches at the sound of his voice growling into my ear. It’s different now. Commanding, claiming, owning. My heart races. I do as he says. I stay still, waiting for him to make the next move.
His hand moves up to my breasts again, joining the other in squeezing my breasts and pulling my nipples through the lace. They’re hard as pebbles between his fingers and I shudder as his mouth finds the skin behind my ear and he sucks on it softly. My belly clenches. I want it all right now but I know better than to insist on it.
Benny’s hands move away from my breasts and slide behind me to undo the hooks of my bra. His fingers graze the skin under my arm, his hand gently guiding my arm down as the strap of my bra slides off my shoulders. He turns me around, his mouth meeting mine now although this time, he takes his time, his tongue slipping across my lower lip, grazing across my upper lip. Teasing me. Taunting me.
“Benny... please.”
“Get on the bed,” he murmurs against my mouth and as I do so, lying on my back on the middle of the bed, he undoes the rest of the buttons of his shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders. My mouth turns dry. Tribal tattoos cover his right chest, traveling all the way down his arm. Another set of tattoos graces his left forearm. Tanned skin, short curly hairs along his chest narrowing down the center of his torso to his jeans, Benny is breathtaking. He never used to have those tattoos when I knew him at UNM but as I study them in the semi-darkness, it’s as if he’d always had them. They fit him even if the designs look nothing like what I’d associate as Navajo. But at the same time, what the hell do I know about that? Besides, I’ve got better things to think about... like the moment Benny pulls down his jeans and I see his cock, so big and beautiful, pre-cum glistening along the tip.
He gets on the bed and reaches for the waistband of my panties. Lifting my hips to help him, Benny slides my panties down my hip. He tosses it on the heap of our clothes at the foot of the bed and kneels back to look at me.
“Do you like what you see?” I ask and one side of his mouth lifts in a smile.
“Why don’t I show you just how much I love it?” He replies and I don’t protest when he spreads my legs, kissing the skin on the inside of my thigh beginning just above the knee, one and then the other. His beard scratches my skin. His mouth inflames every piece of me that he kisses, that trail from the inside of my knee up my thigh and higher, between my legs. When I feel his hot breath there,
I hold my breath, my heart racing, blood rushing through my temples.
Never in a million years did I think this moment would ever happen between us, him in my bed, all mine.
“You’re so beautiful. Ethereal. Perfect,” Benny murmurs and my heart soars, my breath catching when his mouth grazes my folds, his hot tongue tasting me. I close my eyes, savoring the sensations that hit me, the feel of his arms around my thighs holding me down, one hand pressing my belly down as he pulls me toward him possessive and demanding. From this moment on, I’m his, all his and there will never be anyone else.
The feeling of his mouth and tongue on my folds is dizzying. It’s a torment that has me gritting my teeth as I feel my orgasm building and building. He finds my sensitive nub and sucks. I muffle my scream with my hand, my knees moving toward my chest, opening myself up to him even more. He sucks again and I know I’m there, so close... until I am. I come hard, bucking my hips against him as his arms hold my hips down, pinning me in place. I feel myself shuddering, trembling under his touch, vibrating with an energy I’ve never felt before. It’s euphoric.
“Benny, fuck me,” I whisper hoarsely when he lifts his head from between my legs. I’m lost in a haze of emotions, my body humming with its release but needing more, craving him inside me.
The bed shift as he moves away and when it shifts again, I can feel his thighs between my legs again. I hear the sound of a wrapper tearing. A condom. I should have told him I’d been checked already. I'm clean. I’m also on the pill. But I don’t, the feel of his swollen hard tip of his cock pressing against my entrance taking my breath away. I reach down, wanting to touch him and he lets me, my fingers trailing along his sheathed length. So big, hot, and throbbing.
Our eyes meet. Did I tell him no complications? Silly me. There will always be complications between us, but it’s too late for that now.
Benny rubs the head of his cock against my opening, easing it in slowly. It’s as if he’s making sure he’s not going to hurt me. I moan, wriggling my hips, wanting him inside me, yearning for him to fuck me senseless.