Besotted in Branson: An At the Altar Story

by Keira K. Barton

  Susan stood and grabbed her water bottle out of her bag. Then closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “The reason why those workers left doesn’t change the fact that this guy can provide something you can’t. I need help. End of story.”

  Cynthia put her hands up. “Okay, honey. Okay. I’m sorry I’ve been questioning you so much. I just don’t want something bad to happen and then have you ask me why I let you do something crazy. I want to make sure you’re not letting desperation or grief make this decision for you.”

  Susan’s lips made a tight line as she thought how to respond. Her friend was lucky. Cynthia had both her parents, and her husband’s parents and grandparents, living in town. They always helped her with her kids, were there to help with any large project or undertaking, and would invite her family over for dinner regularly. If there was an emergency, Cynthia would have the help she needed no matter what day of the week it was, or what hour of the day.

  Susan wasn’t as fortunate. Cynthia truly was the only person she could rely on in any sort of way, and you can only ask a friend to do so much.

  “Thank you for looking out for me,” Susan finally said. Cynthia knew her situation, so Susan wasn’t about to explain herself to her friend again. She obviously didn’t get it, and that was fine. She didn’t have to. Only Susan and her new husband had to understand why they each chose to get married this way. Thank goodness.

  “Of course, darling. So, what were you thinking for your hair?” Cynthia asked as she took her place behind the chair Susan was sitting in.

  “I don’t really care what you do, as long as it’s up. I don’t want to have to hold my hair if my baby decides to make me puke again,” Susan said.

  “It’s really a shame,” Cynthia said as she ran the brush through Susan’s long red hair. “Your hair is too beautiful to put up.”

  Susan watched in the mirror while Cynthia curled and pinned and curled and pinned until all of her hair was off of her back and piled on top of her head in the most gorgeous up-do. “You’re a miracle worker,” Susan said as an image of herself with a basic ponytail flashed through her mind. She hadn’t had much higher hopes than that.

  Cynthia had her back turned, getting something else out of the small bag she’d brought along. “Not a miracle worker, just know how to overuse bobby pins. Trust me. You’re going to be taking those things out all night. You might need to enlist your husband’s help.”

  Susan’s stomach twisted in a knot. She wasn’t really sure what was going to happen after the wedding, but she was fairly certain she and her new husband wouldn’t be cozy enough for him to help her let down her hair.

  “All right, now for make up!” Cynthia said excitedly.

  Susan hardly ever wore makeup, but that didn’t stop Cynthia from begging her to let her make her over all the time. “It’s your lucky day. You finally get to paint my face.”

  Cynthia made a pouty face in the mirror, then said, “Oh, hush. I just think you’d feel so much better if you put a little effort into yourself. When you look good, you feel good, and you do good.”

  “I thought you said I’m pretty just how I am?”

  “Being pretty and getting ready for the day are two very different things,” Cynthia insisted.

  “If you say so.” Susan was exhausted from all the talking, so she decided to just sit back, relax, and let Cynthia have her fun. Hopefully she’d make Susan presentable enough that her future husband didn’t run when he saw her.

  Cynthia was right, she should put a little more effort into her appearance, but she didn’t see the point when she was only around animals and kids all day. She should at least run a brush through her hair though. She’d completely given up on herself when Clarence died, and it was time to find her love for life again.

  “Hellooo!”

  Susan’s eyes flew open at the singsong greeting, and Cynthia stabbed her right in the eyeball with an eyeshadow brush. “Ow!”

  Cynthia scrunched her face up. “Ugh, sorry!”

  “Oh, dear. Didn’t mean to cause such trouble!” Dr. Lachele said as she glided toward Susan and her friend.

  Susan was vigorously rubbing her eye, and it was watering like crazy. “It’s fine. How was your trip?”

  “Absolutely fabulous! I asked the flight attendant to bring me an extra dessert with my meal, and I’ve never been happier! I had no idea they would do that!” Dr. Lachele gushed.

  As Susan babied her weepy eye, she almost wanted to laugh at the fact that the silly woman was talking about her extra dessert like it was the most important thing in the world. Like she’d made a life-changing discovery. “That’s wonderful.”

  “Hi, I’m Cynthia.”

  Susan turned her head so she could see with her good eye, and saw Cynthia reach out for a handshake. Susan cringed a little knowing what was coming next. Cynthia was friendly, but Dr. Lachele was a lot for any normal person upon the first meeting.

  “I’m Dr. Lachele Simpson, but I don’t shake friends’ hands. Boobie bump!” she exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around a stiff and shocked Cynthia.

  This did make Susan laugh, and not quietly.

  Cynthia gave Susan a concerned look, and Susan could only imagine what her friend was thinking about her judgement in trusting such an eccentric woman, but Susan didn’t care. Even though Dr. Lachele was different from herself in every way imaginable, Susan liked her, and she had all the faith in the world that she was going to help her.

  Two

  Tim felt completely out of place inside the small chapel Dr. Lachele had sent him directions to in the confirmation email for his wedding. He hadn’t spent a lot of time in churches, but beyond that, it was strange to have no say in the most important event of his life. The matchmaker assured him this was all standard procedure, but he wondered if he was being naive thinking that this arrangement could really work.

  His employees weren’t as confident in Dr. Lachele’s abilities as Tim was though, and they’d let him know it at his impromptu bachelor party they’d thrown for him in their hotel the night before. They couldn’t stop talking about what a bad idea this was, and how they were all worried for their jobs if things between him and his future missus went south. He quickly reminded them that Dr. Lachele made each party sign a minimum one-year contract, so they didn’t need to worry, but their comments had started to make him question if he’d done the right thing.

  He’d felt so good about it through the whole process, but looking back now he realized how many people had been affected by his decision. He really needed it to end up being a good one, otherwise he didn’t know if he could go crawling back to Firestone Falls with his tail between his legs.

  “Tim! It’s wonderful to see you again. How are you feeling about the big day?” Tim had been sitting alone in a random pew he’d plopped down in, and Dr. Lachele’s voice had caught him off guard, making him jump a little.

  “Oh, I’m nervous. No hiding that.” Tim had always spoken the truth when asked how he was feeling. He wasn’t one to mince words.

  “I don’t think you’d be human if you weren’t at least a little uncertain on a day like this,” Dr. Lachele said. “Where are your…friends?”

  Tim smiled. He would call his employees his friends, but Dr. Lachele probably didn’t know what to call them. They weren’t technically his employees—as they’d worked for the Firestone family before, and now they’d be his bride-to-be’s hired help, not his. “They’re getting used to the humidity. I don’t think they expected the climate to be so different. It’s amazing what a drastic elevation change can do to the weather,” Tim explained.

  “Will they be here for the ceremony?” Dr. Lachele seemed inordinately interested in the guys Tim had brought along, and it made him think she might be recruiting new clients.

  “You betcha. I figured we weren’t going to have groomsmen or bridesmaids, so I just invited them to attend the ceremony and witness the insanity first-hand.” Tim wasn’t sure if the woman would take offense to t
hat term, but she didn’t seem phased. “Why? Are you recruiting men?”

  “Oh, goodness no!” Dr. Lachele let out a cackle that made Tim wonder if she really did have magical love-potions at her disposal or something. Maybe her one-hundred-percent success rate could be explained by special powers he didn’t understand. That was a stretch though. He didn’t even believe people when they talked about their intuition.

  When Tim didn’t say anything more, Dr. Lachele explained. “I never recruit people, but they seem to find their way to me anyway. It is nice having several men on my roster at once, though. Makes creating matches much more…interesting.”

  The way she talked had Tim imagining her hunched over a bubbling cauldron, rubbing her hands together in giddy anticipation of what the contents would become. Whatever her methods really were, Tim didn’t know, but the numbers spoke for themselves. “Well, a few of my guys could use some help in the love department, but if they ask how you know that, you didn’t hear it from me.”

  Dr. Lachele gave him an exaggerated wink. “Okay, Gum Drop.”

  Tim chuckled, shaking his head. “So, what’s the plan? Wedding starts at two, right?”

  “That’s right! I’ve seen your bride, and she is gorgeous! Just absolutely glowing. Try not to let your mouth hang open for too long when you see her.” Lachele laughed at her own joke, then continued on in a more serious tone. “After the ceremony, Susan has requested that I be present for a short orientation with the ‘new hires.’ She feels overwhelmed about telling them what happened. Her loss is still really fresh, so I hope you’ll keep that in mind.”

  “Of course!” Tim emphasized.

  “Good. Like I said when we first talked, this is very unconventional for me. I usually don’t tell the groom anything at all, but this case had so many extenuating circumstances. I felt you needed to know at least a few important details,” Lachele explained.

  Tim nodded. He was glad he’d been prepared, even partially. He’d gone from never wanting to get married, to suddenly deciding he didn’t want to die alone, to being on the verge of having an instant family, all in a matter of weeks. Every little tidbit of information Dr. Lachele shared helped him with this enormous transition. He was fifty for crying out loud. It wasn’t easy to teach an old dog new tricks.

  “And after the orientation?” Tim inquired.

  “That’s for you and your bride to figure out. Like I said, Tim. You’re getting way more than usual, and I’m not giving you one sliver more. This woman is worth all the uncertainty. I promise.” Dr. Lachele clapped Tim on the shoulder, stood, and gave a quick wink before turning on her heel and floating out the back doors of the chapel.

  Tim checked his watch. His friends would be there soon. He’d instructed them to arrive by one-thirty, and to be presentable. He couldn’t wait to see what that meant to them.

  “Are you sure you don’t want Sam to walk you down the aisle?” Dr. Lachele asked Susan once more as she was leaving the bride’s room. She’d been in and out several times over the past couple of hours, and Susan was starting to wonder if she hovered over all of her clients that way, or only the pregnant ones.

  “I’m sure. I don’t need a chaperone,” Susan said. It’s not that she didn’t like Sam, she just didn’t appreciate the tradition. Was a woman so incapable of walking forty feet on her own, or making up her own mind about who to marry that her father had to give his final approval about her decision?

  Besides, she didn’t even know who her father was, and whoever he was, he definitely hadn’t shown up to walk her down the aisle when she’d married Clarence, so she didn’t need some random man doing it now. There was so much over the past few months she hadn’t been able to do for herself, and it was killing her. Walking down the aisle was something she could handle easily, and for her, it was a symbol that she was owning this choice.

  “All right, then! I’ll see you out there!” The woman floated out the door so quickly Susan only saw a blur of purple in the mirror as she left.

  “What a truly unique person,” Cynthia said almost reverently.

  “It takes someone very peculiar to believe they can do what she does,” Susan said.

  “Well, I can’t primp one more inch of you, my dear. If ever a woman was ready to marry a man they don’t know, you are.” Cynthia smoothed a rogue strand of hair on Susan’s head, then looked up at her reflection in the mirror. “You’re stunning.”

  Cynthia’s hand was resting on Susan’s shoulder, and Susan covered it with her own. “Thanks, Cynthia. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  And she genuinely didn’t.

  Tim was already standing at the altar with the pastor when his five hands walked through the doors of the chapel and not too carefully made their way down the aisle. They weren’t all a bunch of oafs, but the ones who were made the whole group seem unruly, and Tim found himself cringing as he watched them take their seats.

  Jim Bob in particular didn’t have the etiquette one would expect in a church, and even though he was trying to be quiet, it was still loud when he asked Jed to, “Scoot down summore.”

  Jed grumbled something Tim couldn’t quite make out over the soft prelude music, and Andy, Charlie, and Steve looked embarrassed to be in the same row as the two loud ones. Luckily, the only other people in the chapel were Dr. Lachele and her husband Sam, who she had introduced to Tim earlier, and two boys who looked to be on the cusp of becoming teenagers. He wondered if they were his bride’s kids, but he swore Dr. Lachele said she had three, and he didn’t know their ages. Maybe they were toddlers and somewhere else with a family member? Maybe the woman he was about to marry didn’t want her kids present?

  Tim was watching Dr. Lachele to see if she had noticed his friends come in or not, when he heard the clicking of high heels and looked up. A blonde woman with big hair came walking down the aisle, but if she was his bride, she’d decided not to wear a wedding dress. Tim took a deep breath, and hadn’t even realized he was holding it in until the woman sat in the pew next to the two boys. He released it in one big whoosh. Maybe those were her kids?

  Hopefully the next person to enter the chapel would be the one he was going to marry. He didn’t know how much longer he could stand up in front of everyone and pretend like he wasn’t nervous. Was he holding too still? Was he fidgeting too much? He felt like everyone was watching him, and that made him even more uncomfortable than the fact that he’d been walking around without a hat on for almost two hours now. He always had a hat on.

  Suddenly the music changed, and the pastor whispered, “Here she comes.”

  Tim wasn’t usually an emotional person. He hadn’t even cried at Tommy’s funeral, but as his future wife turned the corner and headed down the aisle, Tim’s eyes got blurry with tears. She really was gorgeous—Dr. Lachele hadn’t lied about that. She had beautiful red hair, and a pretty face that already seemed familiar. Her dress wasn’t even one of those super-poufy ones Tim hated.

  His heart was happy. He didn’t know hardly anything about the woman who was making her way to him, but that didn’t change the fact that when they left that church they would be husband and wife, and he would be a father to three children.

  When his bride finally made it to the altar, Tim’s eyes had cleared, and he was grateful, because he was able to take in all of her beauty. She had the most stunning brown eyes he had ever seen, and she looked kind, but not too sweet. Just the way she carried herself let him know she was confident and capable, and her face gave away the fact that she’d spent a lot of time outside.

  “Hey there,” he said, unable to suppress the smile that came to his lips.

  “Oops, one second.” She turned and motioned to Dr. Lachele to come up and get her flowers.

  As soon as she moved the large bouquet, Tim saw something that he hadn’t been able to before, and it caught him off guard. His bride’s belly was noticeably swollen compared to the rest of her body, and she almost looked pregnant. In fact, Tim would bet money she was p
regnant. He didn’t know what to do, or how to react. How could he, being a complete stranger, ask her if she was pregnant? And at the altar for crying out loud!

  There were only a few things he knew for certain after fifty years on this earth, and one of those was that you never, under any circumstances, ask a woman if she’s pregnant. Unless you personally witnessed her announcing she’s pregnant, you don’t ask. So, what was he going to do? Was she pregnant with child number four? What if it was twins? Tim wasn’t sure he could be a dad to five kids when he literally had no experience with caring for children at all.

  His mind was racing, and he was pretty sure he hadn’t been paying attention to what his face was doing, because when he realized where he still was, and looked up from his puzzling thought spiral, his bride was giving him a quizzical look.

  “Okay, I’m ready now,” she said as she hesitantly placed her hands in his. The wrinkles between her eyebrows were giving away her confusion at his behavior.

  I’m an idiot. Tim thought. Now she’s probably wondering if I’m upset that she’s pregnant. Tim wanted to explain himself, and to find out if she really was pregnant at all, but that conversation would have to happen after the wedding was over. Which meant that the two of them would be saying “I do” over the thick tension that had settled in between them.

  Just great.

  Susan and Tim sat stiffly in two chairs at the front of an empty Sunday school classroom and listened as Dr. Lachele filled Jed, Charlie, Steve, Jim Bob, and Andy in on the situation with the ranch.

  “Okay boys, here’s the deal. As you may or may not know, Susan’s husband Clarence died a few months ago. I informed Tim of this fact, because shortly after Clarence’s death, Susan found out she was pregnant with their third child. Between the grief of losing her husband, the morning sickness, and the bedrest she was required to take, things fell through the cracks and she was in desperate need of help.”