Deviated

by Schmidt, Esther E.

  I stroll back inside the cabin and notice Esmee’s feet are now covered with tangerine socks, and they have ears. “Are those pig socks?”

  “Don’t judge my comfy socks.” She shoots me a glare and takes the box with her notes and details about the case. “Do you have somewhere we can pin this stuff on or are we spreading everything out on the table?”

  I stalk back to the bedroom where I keep a portable whiteboard room divider and when I come back into the living room, I swear I haven’t seen her so excited due to something as simple as a damn whiteboard.

  “I use it a lot. I like to visualize everything, not just work stuff,” I grumble, feeling a bit awkward.

  She stalks right up to me and places her hands on each side of my face. “Cullen, you’re my kind of man. Portable whiteboards rock.”

  Her lips crash against mine and without thinking I grab her ass and pull her tighter against me, easily lifting her into my arms as she wraps her legs around my waist.

  “If I knew a portable whiteboard would get you hot, I would have shown you sooner,” I murmur while nipping her neck, now caging her against the wall and hating the fact she’s wearing pants.

  I reach between us and start to tug at them, needing the barrier between us gone. Her legs fall from my waist and she helps me out by quickly removing her clothes, and I make sure to free my dick because that’s all the time I can manage; the need to be inside her is all-consuming.

  I wrap her into my arms again and we’re back into position with her caged between the wall and my body, my dick now freely pressing against her slick pussy. One surge up and I’m buried in the sweetest, hottest, tightest slice of heaven known to mankind.

  I’m so consumed I can’t even kiss her but instead let my head fall against the crook of her neck. My teeth graze her as I lazily place a distraught open mouth kiss against her skin. My hips start a punishing rhythm that makes her head slam back against the wall.

  Her nails dig into my back as her mewls and words of demand fill the air—letting me know she’s right there with me—wanting it rough, hard, and dammit…way too fast because my balls are drawing up and ready to blow.

  I should draw it out, enjoy every inch of her body and explore what sensitive parts make her heat up but I’ve passed the point of giving and am driven with the need to feel her explode around me as I eagerly follow her.

  My name is grunted on a hot breath as she rotates her hips. I surge deep inside her once more and keep myself rooted, digging my fingers into her ass to keep her in place. I empty myself inside her with hot bursts of cum while my whole body heats as her pussy keeps clenching around me; demanding I spill every last drop I have to give.

  It takes everything in me to keep myself—and her—upright. Utterly spent, that’s us right now. Yet when I feel my dick softening and slide out, I’m hit by a jolt of electricity to dive right back in.

  It doesn’t matter if my body can’t keep up with my mind because in my head it will never be enough; the need to possess and claim her as mine is evident. And it’s time to fully surrender to what my body and mind are screaming in sync. If only the reminiscing of life wouldn’t be hanging over my head to prevent me from doing just that.

  Chapter Nine

  ESMEE

  I push myself harder and watch how the trees flash by faster with every step I take. I absolutely love a morning run through the woods and this is the fourth morning I’m doing it in the proximity of Cullen’s cabin. Maybe I should see if there’s a cabin for sale around here because I don’t ever want to leave.

  Though, secretly I don’t want another cabin because I’m fairly sure the whole experience of the morning run is a package deal. Working long hours to solve a case, sharing ideas, following leads, and ruling things out together with Cullen. Not to mention the easy banter, intimate talks, and hot sex. Everything has opened my eyes when it comes to having a relationship.

  I now understand each biker of Broken Deeds MC who found their old lady while being on a case and working in close proximity. It creates a level of intimacy and connects you on a higher level if you just work flawlessly together.

  Most of them stumbled into the love of their life while working their case. Wait. Why am I saying love of their lives in reference to all of this? Cullen isn’t mine. And I don’t even do the whole ‘love’ thing. Besides, I barely like him as it is, right?

  Okay, that’s a lie. I adore him when he spends hours between my thighs or pins me underneath him or hell, lets me ride him until we’re both sated. My feet stumble and I can barely keep myself upright. What the hell am I doing?

  I can’t fall for someone who put Broken Deeds MC at risk. Hell, for all I know he is still working on bringing us down. No. He wouldn’t. He would have said something by now if this whole thing started out as a back door into Broken Deeds MC, right? He’s been too sweet, too caring, too—

  I gasp for my next breath and blame the burn in my chest on the sole fact I’ve pushed my body too much during my run. Because if the thought that just hit me is true…he’s been leading me on from the start and I’m the stupid girl who was only used to get closer while opening her damn heart.

  Yes. I’m screwed. It’s too late to think about falling for this guy or about love because the last few days have been a combination of bliss that nailed me to him. I close my eyes and stretch my limbs. I need to clear my head and take some distance.

  I haven’t gotten any closer to catching the unsub and with the things that just hit me, I think it’s best to create some distance. Besides, I’m fairly sure my brother received the file on his desk about Jen’s not so much a suicide, and he now knows I’m working a case on my own.

  Maybe our father has updated him on the situation, and I’m allowed to continue the way I have. Because since I took the case, I’ve had multiple breakthroughs and managed to connect more to it. Oh, who am I kidding? They would take over and put more people on it, and I have to admit, that probably is the best thing to do. I grab my phone from my pocket and check for messages.

  I don’t have any and decide to glance at the picture again, the one Rod sent me a few days ago, right after we arrived at Cullen’s cabin. He was able to retrieve what Jen had sketched and it was the face of a man. Weird curly hair, a large moustache along with some scruff, but the eyes were what kept me intrigued. They held a kind of hardness that’s hard to capture with a mere sketch.

  It bugged me that I didn’t recognize him from when I visited some of the clubs I knew some of the victims went to. Maybe I thought I would because he came after me. He broke into my house so he obviously saw me.

  Clearly, I slipped up and it made me doubt myself with everything going on because I wasn’t aware he saw me—or followed me home for that matter—while he wasn’t even on my freaking radar. Okay, obviously the anonymity is working for him and against me. But still, I should have been more aware, should have…yeah, I ‘should have’ a lot more.

  My train of thought comes to a halt when I slip inside the bedroom through the backdoor and hear voices coming from the living room. Cullen is clearly awake since I can hear him talking to someone. Not just someone, my brother, I now recognize his voice.

  Shit. He must have gotten the file and instead of calling me in, he activated the GPS on the tracker I have placed in my body—right underneath the skin on my left arm—in case something happens and they need to track me down to save me.

  Yes, I have neurotic parents but even if it hasn’t been necessary, it’s something as simple as safety. And to be honest, the line of work we’re into? Even if we would need it once, that will be enough to save my life. So, clearly, I’m not bothered by them tracking me down, yet now? The circumstances why he’s here? Yeah, it bugs me. A lot.

  I start to head for the living room, but my brother’s words stop me. “You’d do best to step away from her completely while you still have any life left in your body that is. Because she is going to kick your ass the second she becomes aware of what you did…what
you’re doing. And don’t think for a damn second your CIA badge will protect you.”

  My heart plummets inside my chest. My brother warning him like this can only mean one thing; Cullen did use me to gain inside information about Broken Deeds MC.

  “I don’t care about my damn badge; I care about her. Is it so hard to understand I would actually put her first? See this? She’s been working her damn ass off for days on end, putting herself at risk while you’re only here to rip away the very thing she thrives on. Have you guys ever thought what it must be like for her? A woman as skilled as any of you idiots wearing a damn leather cut while she’s in the shadows and never gets the recognition she deserves. Yeah, you guys love her and support, respect, whatever the hell you smother her with, but actually letting her breathe and be herself to stand right next to all of you? Hell, no, because she’s not a biker nor an old lady, right? Classy. And to think you showed up here to judge me and take away the thing your sister loves doing and does a damn fine job doing it too.”

  My throat clogs up and my eyes sting. Emotions are ripping through me that I don’t understand and cut deep into my heart. I close my eyes and let Cullen’s words wash over me as I picture him standing up to my brother.

  Cullen grunts and I imagine they are going head to head now as my brother sneers, “She’s respected and a part of our MC as well as family, asshole. While you? You fucking use a woman by fucking her to get the information you need. I would question how you fucking sleep at night but the truth is, I don’t care because I will end you for touching, and using her.”

  “Let him go, Archer,” I sigh in defeat as I step into the living room.

  An evil grin slides over Archer’s face as I watch Cullen’s body go rigid. He turns to look at me but I can’t stand to look him in the eye, so I only focus on my brother.

  “You’re here to pull me off the case, I presume?”

  He gives me a tight nod and steps around Cullen to face me.

  The pity on his face is a punch to the gut. “You should have come to me when you found that shit you gave Ganza. And if you must know, I punched him in the eye when he told me about it only fucking yesterday. The both of you should have come to me sooner. Dad stepped down, Esmee. This jerkface here forced us to revise everything and a new contract has been drawn up. All of us are walking on our damn toes as it is, I can’t have any outsiders taking on cases. And by this I don’t mean you but for the rest of the—”

  “Save it,” I snap. “Message received loud and clear. Get on your damn bike and go, Pres.”

  “You’re not going to take this case away from her,” Cullen growls, stepping in between us.

  “He already did, Cullen.” And this whole scene makes me snort. “Funny how the one lying straight to my face is defending me against my own flesh and blood who should have my back.”

  I grab my pocket knife from the table and press it against the skin of my left arm, knowing very well where the tiny chip is lodged that brought my brother right to me. One slice and some slight digging and I have the chip the size of a grain of rice between my fingers. I throw it at him but it lands on the floor while blood slowly seeps from my arm.

  “There, all ties cut. As I said, get the hell out of here and tell the rest not to bother to contact me for a while. I’m going on a long-ass vacation. Well-deserved for putting up with all you assholes, don’t you think?”

  I spin on my heels and head for the bedroom to grab the first aid kit I know Cullen has stashed in the bathroom.

  Cullen’s voice trails off behind me. “I don’t care what you have to do but you’re not taking the case away from her until she solves it. I’ll go over your damn head to see it through, understood?”

  Archer laughs and it sounds bitter. “If you think it will make a difference for us or you, you’re sadly mistaken. My sister is a hard head and I hate to fucking admit it, but she’s right. You might have fucked-up by taking her on as a way to get to Broken Deeds MC, but the things she just said makes the words Abe told me hit home. He kept telling me how she was too good to be kept walking the fine line like she did. She should have been claimed or given a rightful task within our MC. Being in our world and not being able to be fully in it like a worthy member is a grave mistake on our part. Fuck. Back then Abe fought for her, he cared but not in the way I see the fire in your eyes. You’re delusional if you think she’ll give you another chance to get close to her. She’s too much of a hardhead to let anyone in but when someone pulls shit the way you did? Yeah, good luck. Keep an eye on the mess you made, asshole. And if you think she’s really worth it with the shit you just blabbered and the look I see in your eyes? Watch over her, kiss the fucking ground she walks on or do whatever you can to sweet-talk her into letting you stick around. Hell, you know what? Go ahead and work with her on the case because you have your CIA badge to follow through. Who knows we can score some extra bonus points with you guys or did you file your report about us yet?”

  “Get. Out,” Cullen bellows as I slam the door of the bathroom shut behind me in an effort to drown them out completely.

  I’ve heard enough. From all of them. I glance down at my arm and wince. Shit. I probably shouldn’t have ripped out the chip, but Archer and this whole situation made me so damn mad I had to make a statement and cut all ties. The door swings open and Cullen stalks inside. I’m about to curse him out but he takes my arm and gives a firm shake with his head.

  “You shouldn’t have done that,” he growls and grabs a pair of gloves from the first aid kit and starts to clean the wound.

  I direct my gaze and decide to ignore him. I have to take care of the wound and if I do it or he does, it’s easier to just give in and let him do it so I can get out of here faster.

  “When they gave me the job I told them straight away it wasn’t going to work. I had a bad feeling before I took it, I didn’t want to—” he starts.

  “Save it,” I snap.

  It seems it’s against deaf man’s ears because he continues. “And then when I started to follow you around, things changed. I’d say you noticed it too when you caught me in the alley. Do you really think I’d ever let anyone get the drop on me? Or throw me off and make me kiss you and ask to come to a family thing? Nothing about this was a damn job. Yes, I can’t ignore the duty thrown upon me, but when you let me partner up with you it was obvious how strong of a connection there is between us and how well we worked together.” He steps closer and guides my head to meet his gaze as he tells me, “How damn well these couple of days have been with just the two of us.”

  I rip my chin away from his grip and glance down in defeat. “Like I said, Cullen, save it. You did your job, and used me to get what you needed. Well, I used you right back when I asked you to be my partner in this case. I hope you see the good Broken Deeds MC gives to this fucked-up world, how we do follow order and protocol, even if it’s slightly self-made. Basically, we used each other, conflict of interest, enemy of my enemy that kind of bullshit. It’s over. Done. No need to talk or work together any longer. Write your damn report if you haven’t yet and don’t worry about the case. Knowing my brother, he has already put two of his guys on it.”

  Cullen drops my arm and I’m glad to see it’s all wrapped up. He cages me in against the counter and it makes my chest heave. Not with desire but with fury.

  “I can tell you’re a breath away from kicking my ass but there’s one more thing you need to know. One last thing you need to understand and damn well realize. You and me? We’re not over. Far. Fucking. From it.” His mouth crashes against mine and I fist his shirt, but my lips stay sealed.

  In one hard shove he’s across the bathroom and I rub my mouth with the back of my hand. “Oh, we’re over all right.”

  I want to sneer words at him in anger, try to hurt him with the power of words but nothing comes out. I take a step toward the door but my conscience weighs heavy and I can’t ignore the case I’ve put all my energy into saving and watch women’s lives slip away, give tho
se who died and their family who are left behind some sort of justice by bringing down this killer.

  “If you want to fight for something, fight for the case we were working on. Those women deserve justice and any potential victim this asshole sets his eyes on deserves saving.” I grab my bag from beside the bed and stalk out of the room.

  I realize all too well Cullen drove us here and I have no transportation, but when I get outside, I see my bike parked out front with a tiny note on it.

  You’re welcome.

  Come talk to me when you’re ready.

  Archer

  My asshole brother. Even this spikes anger inside me. His interference and knowing I’ll hightail out of here and need transportation. I bet he had one of the prospects tag along with him to bring my bike on a flatbed.

  I glance over to Cullen’s truck and see two flat tires along with a note on the windshield. I bet he received a different note. A loud crashing sound rings out from within the cabin, making my gaze swing that way. From the looks of it, Cullen smashed the whiteboard to the floor out of anger, frustration, whatever.

  Well, join the club buddy, everyone is angry at something. Isn’t it how life always is? Everything goes smooth until it’s not and one thing leads to another until you’re knee high in bullshit you can’t seem to muddle through.

  Okay, I’m a bit glad my brother brought my bike but that’s where it ends. I’m sick of all of them and I think it’s time to take a moment to myself and let everyone else deal with their own shit for once.

  I straddle my bike and hit the throttle. I need to feel the wind on my face, rubber on the road, while I leave my worries behind. The vibrations underneath me make my body feel alive and the way the bike picks up speed allows me to take one breath after another, making the distance between Cullen and I bigger by the second and yet it feels like he’s still holding my heart in a tight grip.