Cowboy Kind of Reckless

by Becca Turner

  “I don’t think so. She’d no more give up Bear than cut off her own arm.” She pinched the cuticle between her teeth and tore it off. The small stab of pain was nothing compared to how heavy her heart had been the day Joy was born. She could’ve changed her mind, but it wouldn’t have helped her or her daughter.

  “Life’s full of tough and shitty choices. She knows.” He pulled his phone from his t-shirt pocket, glanced at the screen, then tucked it back. “Luke wants to help, if he can. He probably told Faith.”

  Another shiver rocked her. Faith, with her two sweet kids and another on the way, would no doubt hate Jody. “He doesn’t have to.”

  “He knows that. Thing about Luke is, he’s as stubborn as the rest of us, he just doesn’t show it the same way we do. He’s willing, so you need to call Joy’s mom. If there’s the slightest chance he can do something for her, you can’t let this go.”

  She turned her face away from him as tears burned her eyes. “I know.”

  “Luke can run into town and get a blood test any time.”

  She closed her eyes. “Faith is going to hate me if he’s compatible. It’s a lot to ask someone to give up a kidney.”

  He touched her arm. “You don’t know Faith that well. She’d never tell Luke he couldn’t do something like this.” His phone buzzed in his pocket. “God bless it. You’d think no one around here knows how to call the person they actually want to talk to.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He shielded the phone so she couldn’t see it, but he rolled his eyes. “Nolan wants to know how you’re doing. Like he couldn’t call you himself. You call him or text him. I’m out.”

  “Sure. I’ll do that.”

  Will’s eyes narrowed. “Do it. Don’t tell me you will and then leave him hanging.”

  “Oh, like you’re doing?”

  “He’s not my boyfriend. Call him. I got things to do.” He rolled away toward his bedroom.

  “He’s not my boyfriend. I’m just sleeping with him.”

  “TMI.” Will made a retching sound. “But it’s not like any of us didn’t know that.”

  He disappeared down the hall.

  Her phone lay on the table next to the couch, plugged into the charger, although the green light indicated it had full battery. No notifications. No missed calls. Nolan hadn’t tried to get in touch with her.

  She picked up the phone and unlocked the screen. Splash stood out against a blue Oklahoma sky, baring his teeth. He’d been begging for peppermints that day. He was the one thing she’d looked out for since her dad died. The difference was, Splash actually showed her some affection and appreciation for her care. He couldn’t help her with deciding what to do about the lump or how to tell Nolan the truth about Joy.

  Through a text? Over the phone? She wasn’t sure she could take seeing the disgust on his face if she told him in person.

  She was saved from trying to figure it out when an SUV rolled up the driveway. Faith sat behind the wheel, a less than happy look on her face.

  Jody’s whole body trembled as she stepped out on the porch. The muscles in her leg and back protested the movement, but she didn’t want to drag Will into the conversation. She could manage without her brothers breathing down her neck.

  Faith left the car and shut the door. She moved slowly because of her pregnancy, but she walked to the shade of the porch and stared at Jody. Faint lines formed around her eyes and mouth.

  “Should you be up?” Faith pressed her hands to her back.

  “I could ask you the same thing.” Probably the wrong thing to say. Jody twisted the hem of her borrowed t-shirt. “You look good. Just a little longer, huh?”

  “I love this kid, but I’m ready to put him down for a while.” A sheen of sweat stood out at Faith’s hairline. “Can we sit?”

  “We can go in if you want.”

  Faith waved away the suggestion. “I don’t need Will’s input right now. I love him, but this is between you and me.”

  “Okay.” Her throat felt dry. “I know Luke told you what’s going on and if you don’t want him to give up a kidney, I’m okay with that. I don’t want to force him to do anything. It was great of him to offer, but there might be some other way.”

  If only she knew what.

  Faith lowered herself into one of the Adirondack chairs. “As far as I’m concerned, it’s all up to Luke. He’s a generous, kind man. He’s healthy and willing to help. It’s his call.”

  “Really?” Jody leaned against one of the porch beams. “You came here just to say that?”

  “I don’t know what it was like for you growing up with Will’s dad, but from the sound of it, it wasn’t easy. Luke sometimes still has nightmares about his mom. When he told me that you gave up a baby to keep it from having a life like that…well, I’m saddened that you had to do it, but I also think it was brave.”

  “It wasn’t. The whole thing could’ve been avoided if I hadn’t been a stupid teenager. Apparently, I’m no better than Mom. My kid ended up living with someone else just like hers did.”

  “You tried, Jody. It must’ve been one of the hardest decisions of your life, but you knew what was right. She really didn’t. Maybe it never occurred to her to let someone adopt her kids. Maybe she meant to turn her life around. Or to use protection and keep innocent kids from suffering in the first place. Who knows? But you did your best.” Faith smiled. “We’re family, and even if Joy doesn’t know us, we’re still her family too. Whatever we need to do to help her, we’re all in.”

  “What if—what if it doesn’t work? If Luke can’t give her a kidney? I already feel like shit about it. I don’t want anyone else to feel that way.” Her throat hurt from trying to hold back her tears. “You can’t imagine how much I’m kicking myself for being unable to help her.”

  “We don’t know anything until we try.” Faith turned her palms up. “When you’re ready, give her adopted mom a call. Talk it over and tell her that your brother would like to help. I’m sure she’ll be grateful for that much.”

  “Thank you, Faith. I know it’s not enough to say it. There has to be something else I can do after laying this on your shoulders. You should be getting ready for the baby, but now there’s this to worry about.” Jody shook her head. “I hate it.”

  Faith pushed herself up, then approached. She placed her arms around Jody. “You’ve had it rough this year, haven’t you? You poor thing.”

  The stupid tears wouldn’t quit. Jody wrapped her arms around Faith and let them out. She held on for all she was worth.

  * * * *

  After the fifth unanswered text, Nolan figured he wasn’t getting anything useful out of Will. The silence probably meant Will thought Nolan ought to ask how Jody was by texting her.

  He picked at his lunch while he debated calling or texting. He’d promised to call. Texting was so informal. She could just as easily ignore that as Will had. If he called, she might answer.

  His stomach churned as he pulled up her number in his contact list. She’d scared him last night, the way she took off. The way she’d looked laying on the pavement. When he’d gotten into the ER to see her. But most of all when the truth about her health came out. Up until that moment, he hadn’t known real fear. He hadn’t told Austin the problem, but all morning while they worked together, Austin had shot him concerned looks. Nolan had apologized for scaring Casey, but his brother brushed it off. He expressed sympathy for Jody’s accident and wished her a speedy recovery.

  He pushed the phone icon on his screen and it dialed.

  It rang. And rang. And rang.

  He didn’t want to leave a message. He needed the sound of her voice and needed to know she wasn’t going to let some lump in her body win.

  Prepared for the automatic answering system, he opened his mouth on the last ring, but then Jody’s voice came out.

  “Hello?”

  She sounded clogged up.

  “Jody?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I�
��it’s Nolan.” Idiot. He pressed his palm to his forehead. Of course she knew who it was.

  “I need to talk to you. When you’ve got time. Face to face, please.”

  Alarms went off in his head. “About what? Are you sick? Do you need me to come to your place now?”

  “No, it’s not an emergency. I’m not even at home. I’m still at Will’s, waiting for Jessi to get off work so she can take me back to town.” She sighed. “But what I have to say is important. Can you make it out tonight?”

  Austin had asked him if he was up for roping practice, but he could get out of it easily. “I can be there whenever you want.”

  “Okay.” She didn’t seem relieved by his promise. “I’m sorry for last night.”

  “That was nothing. I knew you’d be mad that I called them, but I thought they had the right to know you were hurt. You can’t keep them in the dark. That’s not fair.”

  She was silent a moment. “I know. No more of that.”

  “Did they talk you into the test?” Maybe he didn’t have the right to ask, but it weighed heavily on his shoulders.

  “Yes. I’m having a biopsy at the end of the week.”

  He ran his hand down his face. “Do you need anyone to go with you?” God, Jody, I’ll do anything as long as you don’t give up before we get started.

  “Jessi’s taking me. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

  He let out a breath. “Okay. Good. She’ll definitely make sure you get there.”

  “That’s not the worrisome part. It’s the waiting. I won’t be able to relax the whole time.”

  A tremor came through her voice.

  “Maybe we could get away for a couple of days. Just until you hear something. We could run to Oklahoma City or hell, even down to the coast if you want.” Shit. What if she didn’t want to? “If you want. I shouldn’t assume you want to go away with me. Maybe you’d rather stay with your family. Sorry.”

  “Nolan.”

  He rubbed his eyes, wishing he could start the conversation over again. “Yeah.”

  “We should wait until after I tell you something before we make plans. It’s…it’s going to change a lot of things.”

  “Tell me now.” His heart was practically in his throat from all the worrying. “If it’s so important, get it out of the way.”

  “Not over the phone. I’m sorry.”

  “Okay.” What could she spring on him that might be worse than cancer? “What time should I be there tonight?”

  Jody hesitated. “Six?”

  “Done.” She could’ve said two in the morning and he’d have jumped on it. He might’ve been waiting outside her house for hours, counting the minutes, but he’d be there no matter what. “Can I bring you anything?”

  “No, there’s nothing. I want to say that I’m sorry, though, for the way I’ve acted with you. I didn’t want anyone to get close so that no one could miss me. It’s been a rough few years and I honestly haven’t trusted anyone enough to want to get close to them either. You—”

  He hated the hesitation in her voice. “What about me?”

  “I’d do things differently if I could go back. You’ve always been nice to me. Thanks for that.”

  Why did her words sound so final?

  “I’ll always be there for you. No matter what.”

  “You might wait before you go making promises like that. Whatever you think you know about me…well, there’s a lot more you don’t know. I’m sorry. If you don’t mind, I’m going to let you go. Sorry to be so vague, but I need to say a few things in front of you.”

  Please don’t hang up. “No more secrets after tonight?”

  “No more. I swear. Goodbye, Nolan.”

  The line went dead. He stared at his phone. “’Bye, Jody. I love you.”

  Chapter Twenty

  The knocking on Nolan’s door at five-thirty threw him. He’d been pacing his bedroom, juggling his keys, trying not to worry about what Jody had to say, and failing miserably. He didn’t want to rush over there, but keeping himself busy had proved a challenge.

  Had she come to him, unable to wait any longer? He’d scold her good for driving when she should’ve been resting.

  He took the stairs two at a time and skidded on the rug in front of the door before he threw it open.

  A vision with blonde-streaked hair and long legs stood on his welcome mat. She wore a knee-length cotton skirt in tie-dyed colors and a white tank top that accented her tanned skin. A fake tan, judging by the slight orangey-ness.

  Tiffany’s smile was like staring into high beams. “Hi, Nolan.”

  His heart jumped into his throat. “What are you doing here?”

  Her face fell a little. “Surprise. Maybe I should have called first. I’m sorry.”

  His heart didn’t race with anticipation. He didn’t want to pull her into his arms or take her upstairs to reclaim what had been his. “It’s…good to see you, Tiff. You look like California agrees with you.”

  She nodded, but frown lines hugged her mouth and eyes. “I had fun there, but, you know. Time to come home for a while.” She swallowed nervously. “I saw all that fire damage as I passed by the Broken Noose. That didn’t get you too, did it?”

  “No, we’re fine. We got lucky, but Peach has a lot of work ahead of her. Can I help you with something?” It felt like a year had passed since he last saw her, instead of a couple of months.

  “Would it be okay if I came in?” She gave him a weak smile. “Unless you’ve got a new girl in there and you don’t want her to meet one of your exes. I really didn’t expect you to stop dating after we said goodbye. I know there must be someone new.”

  “I was about to head out, but if you can make it quick?” He stepped back and let her in.

  Tiffany looked around as she entered. “You didn’t change anything. Almost like you were hoping I’d come back. You weren’t, were you?”

  “I’ve been busy.” The point, Tiff. Come on. “So what can I do for you?”

  She turned big blue eyes on him. “I’m in a bind. You should be the last person I’d come to for help after the way we decided to end things, but you’re a wonderful man. I thought you might be willing to help me out.”

  His chest tightened. “With?”

  “I’m not the kind of woman who’s proud to ask this.” She licked her lips. “Back in California, life’s not all peaches and cream. At first it was. Everything was going so well. I got this great job as a legal secretary for this hotshot lawyer. It paid very well, even if the hours were a little long. It let me live the kind of lifestyle I wanted…you know, here.”

  She looked ashamed, as though the life he’d shared with her was too small, but she didn’t like admitting it to him.

  “Okay?” He folded his arms. “So what’s wrong with that?”

  “He’s a little bit, um, shady.” She pressed her lips together. “As in he has certain clients with tastes for drugs and escorts.”

  Nolan’s insides turned to lead. “You quit, right?”

  “Here’s the thing.” She lowered her gaze. “I didn’t. The money was too good, but the longer I was there, the worse things got, and after a while, I couldn’t tell him no anymore.”

  “You’re a pimp?” He dropped his arms to his sides as a shiver crawled up his spine. “Or a drug mule?”

  “Not that, but… He took away my job. There’s no more money unless, I, you know.” She pressed her lips together. “But I don’t want to do that. It’s so degrading. I spent the very last of my cash on a bus ticket back here. I can’t go to my parents with this. They’ll be so disappointed. How can I admit to any of it?”

  “You can’t keep something like that from them. It’ll eat you up if you don’t come clean.” He turned his back on her and struggled to come up with a solution. “You want a loan so you can get a place here?”

  “God, Nolan, no. I don’t want your money.”

  “Then what?”

  She gave him an innocent, hopeful look. “I wa
nt to move back in with you.”

  His heart slammed in his chest. “Like California never happened.”

  She nodded. “I was stupid for leaving you. Every woman in the county could say that about me. We were good together and we put this house back together almost by ourselves. For us. For the family we talked about having. We should get married.”

  His jaw dropped. “What?”

  “Not right away, of course. That would seem odd to people, I think.” She gave him a sad smile. “I know you don’t owe me anything, but think about how great it could be.”

  She sounded desperate, but at the same time, trying to push his sense of honor by bringing up the house and reminding him of what they’d once shared.

  He couldn’t help her and help Jody too. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

  Her smile wavered. “Just say yes.”

  * * * *

  Before he could knock on the door of her shabby little rental house, Jody opened it. Nolan worried she’d be furious because he was late. It had taken longer than he wanted to talk with Tiffany.

  Dressed in sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt that hung off one shoulder, Jody looked smaller than ever. Dark circles created big splotches beneath her eyes. Her long hair streamed down her shoulders, mussed at her crown as though she’d been running her fingers through it.

  He removed his hat. “How are you feeling?”

  “I feel about like I look.” She shrugged, then stepped back to allow him inside. “You look kind of strange.”

  “I, uh, I’ve had a strange evening. We need to talk. Obviously about whatever you’ve got to say and then I’ve got to say something too.”

  Her brow furrowed. “Come on in.”

  He crossed the threadbare carpet. Nothing suggested anyone even lived in this house. Ratty furniture and an old TV took up most of the living room space. On a little table beside the couch, there was a single picture, curled at the edges as though Jody had been holding it a while.

  “Have a seat.”

  She gestured at one of the chairs that looked like it had strolled right out of a 70’s catalog. Ugly orange and green material and wooden armrests. The springs sagged when he sat.