Remember Laughter
Page 13
As they walked up, Jason stopped Leia and politely dusted off any grass and debris from her back. Playfully picking flowers and leaves out of her hair and placing it in his.
“Stop it, Jason.”
“Whhaaat?” he said playfully. “Does it look like you’ve ravaged me?”
“You are incorrigible.”
“I’m all yours, too.”
“Thank God,” she breathed, smiling shyly at him and ruffling his hair to knock the evidence of their playful kissing from his hair.
“I love you,” he whispered, leaning over and kissing her before they walked back into the backyard. Several sets of eyes immediately landed on Leia and three of the men stood up. She felt a burst of doubt hit her as she realized that her actions could have alienated the people she’d recently befriended. They were all obviously close and she didn’t want to create issues between the couples.
“Leia,” Jamie and Tobin both began at the same time, before Jamie continued. “We never intended to make you upset or ruin your afternoon. We’ve always picked on each other. We feel like we are family and that’s just what brothers do to each other.”
“Nobody wants to have a wedge between any of us. You’re Hody’s girl; therefore, you are a part of us all,” Tobin said apologetically. “We are both sorry for implying anyone was… well… anything less than what they are. FYI, Cooper is obnoxious, so just ignore the man completely when you meet him.”
John stepped forward and looked at Lily, who nodded encouragingly.
“We all consider you a part of our families and a friend. One thing family does poorly, though, is keeping secrets from each other. So, we understand why you got mad. I wanted to reassure you that us guys being nitwits was never intended to be meanspirited. We’ve always known and didn’t think it was a big deal.”
“You know?” Jason tensed beside her.
Leia wrapped a supporting arm around his waist and lay a hand on his back to calm his nerves. She could only imagine what was running through his mind after he’d revealed his deepest wounds to her earlier. It would take a long time for those scars to heal and his deepest fears were being revealed repeatedly from someone who kept things to himself. She understood now it took a lot for him to reveal his insecurities to her, but now his friends were aware. She prayed that he understood that they were trying to reach out to him, not reject him as he’d been rejected as a youth.
John slowly nodded and his eyes never wavered from where he was watching Jason. Leia saw Lily smile as she dabbed at her eyes, before she looked up at Jason again.
“We’ve known for years now, and it’s never made a difference before,” John said firmly, not looking away. “You are our family and we couldn’t care less about the dyslexia. It doesn’t change who you are.”
“See? They know just how wonderful you are,” Leia whispered, tears burning at her eyes, as she patted him gently on the back. Jason looked down at her and swallowed hard, his own eyes bright with emotion.
“I love you,” Leia whispered, not caring who heard her declaration.
“We all love you, ya big lummox,” Lucy hollered out and several others chimed in. They were suddenly swallowed in a multitude of hugs, laughter, and smiles. Lily’s clear voice rang out above them all.
“This overly pregnant woman is ready for her dessert! Bring on the trifle!”
Hours later, back at the cabin, Jason and Leia sat silently on the outdoor divan on the deck, staring up at the brilliant ribbons of light across the sky. It was nearly midnight and she didn’t want the evening to end.
This had been such a crazy whirlwind of a week, and it was hard to believe she’d only met him on Monday. Between their letters and phone calls, she felt like there was already a bond between them and that meeting him in person had solidified things between them. Her heart was lost the moment he’d hugged her.
Jason sat there, cradling her against him as they sat stretched out across the seats. Her head rested against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he laced their fingers together over and over again.
“This is perfection.”
“It is pretty wonderful.”
“You don’t mind this?”
“Not at all.”
“We never got to watch our Star Wars marathon.”
“It’s okay. It gives us something to look forward to next time we are together.”
“I’d like that.”
“It’s not fair that we have to separate just when we seem to have found each other and really clicked.”
“The Fairness Fairy is a goth chick with homicidal tendencies – and that is why she planted me out in the middle of nowhere so far away from you. In Afghanistan, I’m surrounded by things that will either sting you, stick you, eat you, or kill you – oh wait! It’s a lot like downtown where I grew up!”
“I thought you grew up near Dallas?”
“I did. I was trying to crack a joke to make you smile.”
“Ohhh… is that what that was?”
“Apparently I’m terrible at jokes.”
“Maybe it’s just my pouty, Eeyore-like mood?”
“Yeah, I’m feeling pretty bummed myself about the flight in six hours.”
“Shouldn’t you get some sleep then, or get your things together?”
“I can sleep on the plane. I’d rather stay right here and hold you against me.”
They sat there sprawled all over the divan for some time, silent, and just holding each other. She couldn’t wait to get home and see her little Spud, but that meant leaving this perfect, idyllic moment behind. She was going to miss him so very much, it was staggering.
“Jason,” Leia said quietly. “Promise me that you will come back, soon.”
“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away from you.”
“I know you say that now, but what if you get back there and decide that maybe things weren’t as great as they seem?”
“And what if you find some good lookin’ guy back in Texas?”
“I don’t think that’s possible. I’ve never been happier than I am now.”
“We weren’t looking for each other when we first wrote each other, so the possibilities are there. I know you went through a lot losing your husband and there is always a chance that maybe I’m just what you need right now to get through a tough time. I’ve never met anyone like you and I’m scared that this is too good to be true.”
“This is so different, yet just as special, from what I had before.” Leia admitted. “I could never expect you to be my dead husband’s replacement, nor would I use you as a crutch. You are my best friend, my soul, and a miracle to me.”
“I could say the same,” Jason said huskily, his voice thick with emotion. “When I come back, I’m coming back for good. I promise you.”
“Pinky-swear?” she said lightly.
“I mean it,” Jason muttered quietly. “I’m not going to let you go. I’m coming back stateside and yanking you down the aisle just as fast as I can… so you are mine forever.”
Leia leaned up and studied his face, stunned. His dark eyes watched hers, his face impassive. He was giving away nothing with his expression, making her wonder if she’d misunderstood his sentence. She looked away, unsure of what to say, and replayed it over and over again. Nope, there was no misunderstanding and she would never know unless she said something.
“Jason Hody, are you saying what I think you are?” Leia questioned, her heart beating fiercely against her chest. If this was a misunderstanding, she would probably jump over the balcony and run away as fast as possible from embarrassment.
“You don’t have to answer now and truthfully, I don’t know if I want you to say anything yet,” Jason said quietly. “I’ve been thinking all afternoon how envious I am of Griffin, Post, Cooper, Wilkes, and even Minter… I want someone of my own to look at me with love in their eyes every day I’m alive, not just this incredibly magical week or from a sweet memory in my mind.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Yes,” Leia whispered quietly in the darkness and saw his hand still. He tensed up under her and she heard his heartbeat quicken, smiling. “I think I might like to actually yank you down the aisle, Mr. Hody, so that all these waitresses that flirt with you will know you are mine.”
“You mean it?” he whispered.
Leia heard the fear in his voice and knew this was the right decision. He was so brave, so wonderful, and so charming that she would be proud to spend the next fifty years watching their love grow.
“I do.”
“I don’t have much, Leia,” Jason admitted. His voice was painfully shy, but there was a tremor of excitement and joy that couldn’t be hidden. “I will love you with everything I am for the rest of my life. I promise you will never regret giving us a chance, princess.”
“I already know that.”
Flying out of Anchorage was one of the hardest things she had done in quite a while. The only thing that could top it was that car accident. Starting over again, dealing with the nuclear desolation that had been her life after Chandler had died, had almost destroyed her. Her world was starting to develop again and she recognized the beauty of what her future could be.
Jason sat with her at the gate until the very last minute. His flight was scheduled to take off not long afterwards, joking about how he’d sprint to his gate if necessary, but he wasn’t leaving her side any faster than he had to.
“I don’t want to say goodbye or for us to be blubbering all over each other,” Jason said fiercely, holding her hands. “I want to remember the smiles and what it feels like to hold you beside me.”
They poured over magazine articles together, discussing everything from toothpaste brands, to vacation destinations, and even electronics that were in some of the ads on the pages. Flipping the next page, she caught her breath and froze. She’d said yes to his innocent proposal, but wondered if he had changed his mind because he never brought it up again after staying up all night talking. She was exhausted and planned on sleeping the entire flight back to DFW airport, before her connecting flight to Tyler.
“We never talked about rings, did we?” Jason whispered softly against her cheek, nuzzling her hair.
“We don’t have to today, either.”
“I’m just curious as to what you like.”
“I’d like things to be different and special,” she admitted freely, looking into his eyes. “I don’t want either of us to feel pressured or pushed into making a grand gesture or some fancy piece of jewelry. I want whatever we choose that resembles us.”
“A wonderful surprise that I never imagined?”
“No, silly,” Leia retorted, grinning through the fatigue that swamped her. The gate attendant interrupted them, speaking loudly that her flight was going to start boarding with zones five and six. Leia was in zone four and next to board the plane.
“I’m going to have to go,” she whispered painfully.
“What did you mean by ‘resembles us’?”
Zone four now boarding!
“Easy, something unexpected, and makes me think of you when I look at it,” Leia admitted, getting to her feet. Jason rose and rolled up the magazine, tucking it in his back pocket. He walked her towards the gate.
“I love you,” she breathed, launching into his arms. He wrapped her in a massive hug just before kissing her.
“You are my everything,” he reminded her. “I want you to get some rest on the plane and no tears, princess. I’m coming back as quick as I can.”
“I hope so.”
“I mean it. Now, I want to see those bright eyes,” he said thickly. “No tears, Leia. It will break my heart.”
“Nope. No tears,” she said, wiping her eyes and struggling to keep her emotions in check as she stared into his own eyes bright with unshed tears. He smiled at her painfully.
“Promise me you won’t forget me?” Leia asked suddenly, feeling nervous.
“I never could,” Jason vowed.
“See you soon, sasquatch.”
“You got it.”
“I’ll talk to you Saturday when you call?”
“Sounds like a date,” he whispered softly, touching her cheek and caressing the skin as if to memorize it. Jason was so gentle, so tender, and loving – and leaving him was going to hurt something fierce!
That pang of loss made her throat close up as she tried to keep from crying out against this separation that they’d both known was coming. Leia smiled brightly at him and could feel herself quickly falling apart. She hurriedly threw her arms around his neck, kissing him before turning away, and departing down the ramp towards her plane.
“I LOVE YOU, PRINCESS!”
Jason’s voice rang out loud and clear as she walked away, shattering what little bit of fortitude she had left. The tears came fast and violently, as she ducked into the doorway of the plane, her heart breaking.
Chapter 18
July
Tyler, Texas
Leia stared numbly at the television as she laid her hand on Spud, who lay beside her snoring softly. The last several days had dragged by so slowly, each night she found herself lying in bed, unable to sleep, thinking about Jason. She had never felt such a deep, lasting connection with someone that just seemed to click with her.
Right now, she felt adrift, lost without him and it was so different from when Chandler had died. Oh, she remembered the bitter tears, the anger she’d felt, and the deep-seated resentment that she felt at being robbed of her future.
This wasn’t the same at all.
She felt like her entire existence was on pause, waiting for word or some sense of normality to return. School would not start for a few months and she waited for word of Jason landing in Afghanistan. The doubts and worry began to seep into her mind, fighting against the thoughts that maybe this was all just a wonderful fantasy she’d been a part of.
The unknown scared her.
Neither one knew what was coming next, nor how to handle it. Jason had been in the military since he was seventeen, serving well over ten years already. His plans had been to retire from the military like John had done and find something else to do. Meeting her had changed his plans and his life, as well as her own. Leia had intended to focus on her own career, with the intention to get her master’s degree and start taking online classes this fall. She had wanted to be independent and able to take care of herself, without ever being dependent on anyone ever again; but was deciding to love someone allowing herself to fall into that same trap again?
No.
That was the beauty of them being friends first. She was able to confide her fears, dreams, goals, and wishes with him – and they talked about them together. Jason had thought it was a brilliant idea for her to focus on her degree. There had been so much respect in his voice when they’d talked over the phone that it made her feel special, appreciated. He supported her, lifting her up as a friend would instead of holding her back.
Her cell phone rang, making her jump, knocking it to the floor. Leia scrambled to grab it and quickly swiped the screen.
“Hello?”
“How’s my girl?”
Leia fought back the urge to purr as his voice filled her ears. Just the timbre of it made her feel like a flower unfurling in the sun. He made her happier that she’d ever been before and never realized it until he’d hugged her.
“Oh, thank goodness you called.”
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just needed to hear your voice and it’s been a long couple of days. Next time we part, let’s not wait until Saturday to call each other?”
“Baby, we aren’t going to be apart again. I’m working on it already.”
“I know you’ve made a commitment to the military.”
“I don’t want to push you for anything…” she began as he interrupted, his voice infinitely precious on the phone as she cradled it to her ear.
“You aren’t pushing me for anything. I’m ready to come home… to you.”
“I just want you to be sure.”
“I’ve never been more positive of anything else.”
“How did you know?”
“The moment you hugged me, or maybe it was when we were under the northern lights, or perhaps when you sang with me on stage, oh wait! I know, when you were angry with the waitress for leaving me her number…” he teased playfully.
“She acted like a hussy,” Leia muttered hotly, hearing Jason laugh.
“And you act like royalty, princess.”
“I’ve got a tarnished crown,” she reminded him quickly.
“Even if it was tinfoil, you are the most precious thing in the world to me and nothing will change that in my eyes,” Jason said quietly. Leia could hear the honesty and truth in his words, feeling them wash over her. Gosh, she wished she could hug him right now!
“I love you,” she whispered, feeling her lips tremble as she tried to hold it together. Closing her eyes, she tried to picture him sitting nearby, as if this was a normal conversation. She could hear his voice and desperately wanted to be able to open her eyes, just to see his smile.
“I love you, too. Stay strong for me and let’s focus on something to make the time pass by. I want you to work on ideas for what we are going to do when we finally see each other again. Think ‘happy distraction’ until I can sweep you off your feet again in person. Do you want to go on a vacation together? Go fishing again? Pick out a wedding gown? Plan on a fancy dinner date?”
“Can we do something that’s not formal?”
“What’s on your mind?”
“Let’s do something fun, that makes both of us happy.”
“I like what you are thinking… something that is just ideally us.”