Hell Again

by Mihret Adal Gidi

  “Gashye, if she said something that could hurt her…”

  “Nothing like that,” he says. “Actually, the lady said what she said in good thoughts. I’m just worried that Membe might get hurt from expecting too much... if not and it turns out it is real from bad news.”

  “So, it might get that bad?” he murmurs loudly, nodding as he sinks in his thoughts. “What should we do?” he asks him.

  “Let’s talk about that,” he says leading him on a walk back into the living room and he closes the door behind him.

  ***

  Unusually, Hadiya’s house is disturbed. Her father is here with her two brothers to show how important the only girl in their life is. One or the other way, they are willing to take any risk to take her back home, despite her unwillingness.

  That’s not only it, the situation is escalated because of Ahmed’s side of family, not that they support their marriage. It’s a shame for them to sit back and see her family force take the bride of Ahmed. The moment the conversation changes about pride, everyone forgets the important part in the situation of Ahmed and Hadiya.

  “It’s like we don’t matter,” Hadiya whispers in to his ears and he squeezed her on her right hand that he’s holding with his left. They’re sitting next to each other on a two-person seat sofa. None of them, except Hadiya’s mother, have cared to visit them, but this quarrel seems to have brought them all back together.

  “Hush,” he is doing his best to be as discreet about it as he can. He can’t really help to wipe off the grin look on his face.

  She looks at him pressing a smile and once again leans to his ears. “But they are all here for the first time, like we invite them over,” she says and crook to hold her laughter in and he joins her. He then, looks up to his father’s direction and clears his throat and silenced.

  “Behave,” her mother gives her a clear scolding in silence and Hadiya look down to their hand that is clenching one another.

  For a moment, everything falls to silence. Hadiya isn’t a type to let anything be quite; she prefers disagreement than complete silence. Her husband knows her behaviour well that he keeps squeezing her now and then to calm her down.

  “Why can’t we see things just the way they are?” her mother takes Hadiya’s gasp and asks. Everyone turns their attention to her. “I mean, look at them,” she employs. “It’s not like we can take that away from them. We are arguing, true, but over what?” she looks at everyone, especially to the two fathers who are staring at each other like they want to tear each other apart. “They don’t have a problem and I don’t either…”

  “I do,” Ahmed’s father utters.

  “Me too,” Hadiya’s father takes over. “My wife has been coming here against my will. I will not stop her from seeing her daughter, but today I have to make things right.” He takes over and Hadiya rolls her eyes. “I will bring my family together. In order to do that, I must take my daughter back.”

  “You know, at least they’re not hitting the table any longer,” she whispers in his ears and he smiles looking at her.

  “I love you,” he hardly whispers, it sounds almost like breathing his words.

  “Then let’s run away,” she bites her lower lip partially.

  “We can’t do that twice,” he answers at her tempting offer and looks back to her mother, who is smiling and staring at them. “We would break your mother’s heart and I promised her.”

  “Um,” she looks back at the fathers arguing over their issue, but as if they are both children, they have excluded them. “Thank you for considering mum. I love you and for many more reasons,” she adds in whisperer.

  “I love the life I lead with her,” Ahmed speaks finally. “I will love her whatever her choice will be, I love her so much and it’s no secret indeed.” He looks at her, and she shakes her head for he is only speaking of his feeling, like he can’t say on her behalf. “Hadiya means gift. She is my gift. I am happier and prosperous with her,” his father laughs sarcastically at his words.

  “You start from zero ever since you found her, my son,” he says. “You used to order employees in your father’s life, but now you have to go to the farm yourself.”

  “Exactly,” Ahmed takes over. “That was in my father’s… your life. This is mine and look; we, me and my Hadiya handle everything, starting from zero or not, we are happy and we never run short of anything. We seek solution to every matter ourselves and solve it together,” he says holding their clasped hands up to show them. “Hand in hand. We are all right and happy.”

  “Yes,” she says, taking over. “I am home, Dad,” she looks to her father. “We do things together and things seems zero now, but we will make it. I can feel it, because we are making it, already. Despite you both turn your back on us,” she bites her lower lip and wets it. “I already make my choices and I am not reconsidering…”

  “Okay, it’s over,” her father springs up. “I don’t want to hear any more of your nonsense, and be sure that this is your choice and I am not willing to take you in.” He storms out the house and after him follows Ahmed’s father.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him,” her mother runs out with her two brothers who were and still are sucking on their teeth and lips at them.

  “And we are finally alone?” she turns to him quizzically and Ahmed presses his lips in a hard line.

  “I hate where things seem to be going, we should consider moving to another city,” he says and she smiles, a smile that isn’t touching her eyes.

  “Finally, you are agreeing with me,” giggling, she runs to him and hugs him.

  “Our environment will stay poisonous at this rate,” he adds, agreeing to her long-held wish. He didn’t say it to her until now, but he was already thinking about it after his last business trip to Addis Ababa, he wasn’t able to reason with her brothers and they threatened they would take her. It was not a diplomatic conversation. He saw that there won’t be ways to settle things unless they show how serious they are and the only way to show it is by getting away from both sides of their families. “I was thinking to surprise you,” he adds, biting his lower lip hard.

  “How great,” she says, smiling. “Where will we be moving to?”

  “Do you believe me,” he asks her, and she nods frantically. “Will you follow me wherever I wish to take us?”

  “So, this should be a surprise…” she thinks out loud and he nods. “Wherever you go, home shall follow,” she answers and he nods.

  ***

  Nothing is working quite their way, but this is life; nothing is supposed to work just as planned. Hadiya is not someone who can be defeated easily, and she is not willing to let go of their plan.

  Despite her youth, she thinks quite maturely, she is not a person of thoughts but a person of action. For a while, ever since that chaotic day between her parents and his, everything seems quite and life is not going easy.

  They want to try and change cities but they realise they need to actually study where to go before they go, where to rest; they have to sell their house here in Jimma to buy another one in another city, far from both their parents. They realise they need to be prepared to start a new life and be prepared to prosper in their choices. Especially the first two months are too much to take; for the first time, they can’t understand one another, communication is quite tumultuous and follows silence, neither of them wants to communicate with one another to the point they seem to appear quite fed up of each other’s company. Even the thought of conversing about their thoughts seem to stultify them before sharing them like before. It feels like their parents really saw something wrong that things don’t seem to work.

  She just walks to him with a letter she prepares for him; it simply explains how much she loves him and how sorry she is about the benumb-like conversation she throws at him as well as what she thinks they should do;

  Dear Ahmed,

  I don’t know how to start nor that I think it’s smart to say how are you and that I missed you so much, thoug
h we share a bed and roof. I actually think it’s stupid to explain how sorry I am for the things I said to you during our disagreement these past few days, which felt like years. You know what it’s not proper to apologise since we are together to dump each other’s dirt on one another; who else would you expect me to insult if it’s not the one person I love?

  Don’t expect me to tell you how much I love you, that’s stupid as well. I mean it, don’t expect me to say I love you for you know that I would burn the whole world for you despite the knowledge that we might also die terrified and horribly…you know I would.

  He laughs silently; moving his shoulders up and down gracefully. He wipes his face hard with his left hand and gets back to his reading once again.

  To be honest, I think we should be serious about moving to another city and based on somethings I heard from my neighbour and only friend, Rihanna, we should consider Harrar and focus on our farm here over the coffee business; after all, once we sell the house, we will be able to hire a farmer who will do what we need.

  You are right, I will proceed my education as well. I will not fight with you over this; I think I am blessed to have you, who worries about my future and is willing to secure it for me.

  I love you and imagine my lips on your cheeks at the end of your reading.

  He concludes his reading smiling mildly. Just as she instructed him on her letter, he closes his eyes as he imagines her lips on his cheek and widens his smile. He turns to his left, where she is sitting on a sofa by; huddling but with the TV remote control in her and, with her eyes fixed at the screen.

  He gets up from his seat, walks to her slowly and sit behind her. He doesn’t know what to do nor can he explain how happy he is except showing her; he pulls her close to him and hugs her as tight as he can. He inhales her fragrance in to his nose as he buries his face between her neck and shoulder.

  “You know I would die for you,” he whispers, and she smiles simple. “I was so scared,” he adds.

  “Me too,” she says as she turns to hug him back. “So, what are we to do?” she whispers, holding him tight.

  “I like your idea,” he says quietly. “But I think I should first study about it, what we can do there,” he utters, and she nods frantically. “Oh, and please stop going down the river, people say many terrible things about that spot,” he adds, he really is concerned about her obsession to that place.

  “The place is beautiful and peaceful. I assure you there is nothing odd around there,” she utters with her voice muffled behind her arm that she is using to hug him with.

  “Not like that, but they say there are spirit around there. And I do have faith in Allah,” he adds quietly, assuming what she might say for his statement.

  “So, is this one of those things people say?” she asks, sitting comfortably, as she looks in his eyes; her left hand on his shoulder as her right strokes the nape of his neck. He looks at her quizzically and she rolls her eyes, smiling. “You know, believe in him and you also believe in the existence of the other one?” she clarifies it for him, and he presses a smile.

  “Indeed,” he answers to her. “If Allah is there so does the Gene, but I don’t believe in its power.”

  “Then I should not stop my visit there.”

  “I also believe that every story has some sort of reality base,” he nods with his eyebrows pressing his lips down.

  “I also have faith in Allah,” she smiles. “Besides, it’s not like we would stay here for good.”

  “But…” he said, and she pressed her index finger on his lip.

  “Let’s just talk about you and me…let’s work on us.” She kisses him and he yield to her incantation and holds her closer to himself. After all, he missed her more than he expected.

  Just like that, she manages to fix their rough times, though things don’t seem to work the way they wish they would; they can’t give up their house for a small price and especially finding a good farmer who would do the job for them seems the greatest challenge of all.

  “Ahmed,” she calls his name softly.

  She is making coffee, dressed in a long dress with shawl covering her head all the way to her shoulders. The Ethiopian coffee ceremony is well laid out; the green grass scattered beneath the rekobot or the board that holds half dozens of small coffee cups with their saucer, the incense stick lit along with the frankincense is filling their living room with lively smell and the cultural kitten that the coffee is being boiled in, the jebena is placed on the right side of the rekobot, to the left of the fire place where she is roasting the coffee beans. Rihanna is feeding Hadiya lunch so she can make coffee.

  “Yes,” he says, filling his mouth with the bite from his plate. He’s hungry since he just come from the farm and it was a long day for him since he met his father.

  “Are you okay?” she asks him, and pressing his lips, he nods.

  “He can’t be,” Rihanna says, shaking her head. She doesn’t mind being brutally honest and free. She is from Harrar and honesty comes first, and it doesn’t matter if it is someone else’s life. “Abo, on my way here earlier, I saw him talking with his father; he looked fucked,” she says. Hadiya gasps in shock.

  Hadiya can understand her freedom in expressing anything, but she fears how her husband would take it. Culturally speaking, her last word is forbidden to be spoken out loud and freely, but where she comes from, it’s hardly recognised.

  After a moment, Ahmed burst in laughter and Hadiya deepens her furrow lines, looking at him, perplexed; thinking he must really have a bad time to run into his father.

  “Not…not that I’m happy with that word, but…” he couldn’t stop laughing. “She’s right,” he hardly speaks. “Oh, Hadu, my Hadiya,” he says and walks to her and kneels on the left side of her. “You should have seen your beautiful face when she said it.”

  “Move away. Let me roast my coffee,” she says, shaking her head in amusement to his reaction.

  “She thought you would throw me out this house right away… I was actually a little shocked as well,” she adds. “Wolahi, Ahmed. I am sick and tired of stressing myself to find the right words to keep everyone happy while no one cares for my comfort,” Rihanna says, pressing her right hand’s index finger to her thumb.

  “Give him time, I mean Keder,” he says, looking at her as he walks back to his seat. “He just wants to keep you cool with his family.” He sits and proceeds to his plate with a fixed smile on his face.

  “Abo, I feel muffled,” she says, shrugging, and Hadiya smiles, looking at her as she stops her roasting. “This is not me. Can you believe it? He said he wouldn’t change a thing about me but look at him trying to create someone else, this is not right.”

  “He wants to fix a face before his family,” Hadiya says.

  “What about when we’re alone. Hadu, I’ve seen you two fighting…at your worst, but you guys manage to fix it. I never saw you two try to change one another.”

  “This is us, not you; you guys need to try and find what comfort you both. You can’t be like others. The only thing that will happen if you try is lose your ways, yourself. Find something that can suit both of you. Don’t compare yourself with anyone.”

  “Hadu is right,” Ahmed says and Hadiya smiles as she places the roasted beans in the grinder. “You guys anyways should find a way to move out of his family’s house,” he implies on the fact that she always nags Keder about.

  “You know it’s impossible to wake someone who sleeps on purpose not to hear you,” she says, standing up. “Pass it, I’ll grind the coffee,” she takes it from her and walks out the leaving room to find a spot to grind it.

  Hadiya follow her with her eyes and looks back at her husband quizzically; her eyes wide open and her forehead arched at him, with her lips pressed down in a line.

  “Nothing out of the ordinary happened,” he says, and she shakes her head. “He thought we’re selling the farm too, that’s all,” he adds.

  “I hate to say I told you that you should have tol
d them,” she says, exhaling long. “Did you tell him?” she asks softly. She doesn’t want to take him back to the moment that seems to disappoint him, but he nods slowly. “Everything?”

  “Not exactly, but that we are moving away, perpetually.”

  “Oh, you make it sound like we’re leaving and selling everything?” She wants to be sure of her thought. Nodding to answer her question, he makes her close her eyes. “I can only imagine how heartbroken they will be,” she utters a loud thought.

  “In disappointment, he kind of mentioned that we will be able to do that if we are able to sell anything in the first place.”

  “You’re kidding me,” she says, shaking her head to the thought he might be the one conspiring with the broker to get them bad deals.

  “That’s why I decided to keep Goshu so he would think we are still trying, but I am planning on talking with a broker from Addis.”

  “Are you sure?” she asks him, frowning.

  “The last time I went to Addis,” he sits comfortably on the sofa. “Mekonin mentioned his friend. He said he is tough broker.”

  “Mekonin is a businessman,” she says quietly as she looks out the door to Rihanna.

  “And he helped me steal you.”

  “You’re stupid, I come because I love you,” she says playfully staring at him with a smile. “But, if you want to check it with him, I suggest you to be sure that things are legal.”

  “Does that mean I get your permission?” he gets excited.

  “Oh, I didn’t know you were asking for one,” she giggles.

  “I can’t believe all you need is some minutes alone to get moody,” Rihanna walks in with a smile on her face and Hadiya laughs as well as Ahmed. Rihanna never speaks to herself; she’s loud, but she is fun to be with. She is the only friend she has ever since she moved in Jimma. They both can relate to one another, understand each other. For Ahmed, to have Rihanna around his wife is a relief since she helped her get along with the culture that’s hard for her to get acquainted with, she is even the major reason for Hadiya to convert her religion; she used to read her the Quran, help her understand the words in ways and Hadiya suddenly found herself…her fate in it, then for Ahmed everything falls into an easy line.