Hell Again

by Mihret Adal Gidi

  “As you wish,” Mrs Asnakech is not really happy to leave the room; she wants to hear about everything. Getting up from her seat, she starts clearing the table to leave the leaving room; in her mind, she considered herself one with the right to, at least, hear about it. She walks out as Selam works on taking materials back to the kitchen. Silently, they wait until the room is cleared and they get all the privacy they wished for.

  “Thank you,” Bamlakfekad utters and she looks at him, “I worried that they have to hear everything.”

  “Well,” Tirgume shrugs smilingly. “After all, this is all I can do. I can’t even guarantee you that Asne wouldn’t try eavesdropping,” She suggests, and he smiles nervously as he nods, agreeing with her.

  He is more scared about how Membere would be able to take it if anything they find out about might turn out to be bad.

  “I am…”

  “I know,” Bamlakfekad takes the conversation from her and she frowns, looking at him. “I know,” he repeats himself and turns to Membere, while nodding to Tirgume. He doesn’t know from where he should start but all he wants to be, at this time, is the one to explain to her about what is going to happen for the next hours…well, that’s if she is willing to proceed with everything. “I tried to find out about her, with…”

  “Tigabu,” Membere answers with her brother’s name. She knew they are acting all shady and strange the whole time; thought she wasn’t able to say exactly she knew it was them trying to be sure about Tirgume.

  “Well,” he tilts to his left and shrugs with his left shoulder. “Yes, um…” he presses his lips in a line and sits straight to start explaining courageously. “Truth is, I don’t even know what I want to hear or looking for, but we know she helped some people,” he clears his throat briefly. “It’s not easy to say,” he breathes a laughter as he stills a glimpse of Tirgume and then fix his eyes on the floor. “She…what she does it’s something called Acaredubistu, they…” he looks at her and she is still sitting facing Tirgume, who is staring back at her, but sadly. “They are mediators… I mean…they help us reconnect with…”

  “No, I said I can feel she is still alive,” Membere quietly utters through her teeth. “But I won’t hate to know be sure of it.” She presses her lips as she wipes sweat from her philtrum, using her right hand with her black sweater.

  Bamlakfekad is confused, on whether to be happy and excited or sad and shocked, but he is experiencing everything all at once. Gasping, he looks up at her direction as his eyes are filled with tears.

  “Okay,” Tirgume utters. “Let’s just keep the positive thoughts in minds but we shall not forget the ne…”

  “Please lets, just, go on and do what we should,” Membere utters. Suddenly, her excitement dies, it’s almost as if some part of her is celebrating Adha’s death. No more tears as if it’s ousted in the form of sweat. Her skin suddenly starts getting paler as she keeps filling her chest heavily with air.

  “Did you come all prepared?” Tirgume asks and they both nods quietly and Membere starts looking into her purse.

  “This is a picture I always keep with myself,” she utters as she pulls a picture of Adha from her wallet. Breathing long, they both, Membere and Tirgume, stand to meet in the middle to give and take the picture.

  Pressing her lips hopefully, Tirgume looks at the picture in her hand; young girl, curly long hair, with an innocent smile spread on her heart shaped lips, thick arched eyebrows and tall girl in on the picture. She is dressed in a white extra-large t-shirt with blue flared jeans with trekking boots. Her hair is strained back with a bandage, but the thickness and the curliness aren’t hidden at all. Though it’s hard to tell her shape in her clothing from the picture, it’s not hard to say she is thin.

  “That was her first day at work,” Membere utters and clears her throat hard, pressing her right hand’s palm on her lips. “She always dresses that way every morning to get comfortable to do her round check,” she once again clears her throat but quietly. It’s obvious she is nervous with each passing minute.

  “In case this works, and she tries to communicate, try to be as honest as possible,” Tirgume utters and presses her lips sadly.

  “Would anything odd happen?” Bamlakfekad asks and Tirgume looks at him quizzically. “I mean anything out of the ordinary; I’m only asking to avoid shock…”

  “Nothing,” Tirgume breathes an escaped laughter. “I…” Shrugging, she clears her throat. “I’m sorry. I should focus now. But there is one thing you should expect, it happens rarely, you might hear her voice, that’s all.” She keeps gazing at the picture in her hand and close her eyes to channel Adha from the other side.

  The moment Tirgume closes her eyes, the room falls to a complete tranquillity; it feels as if even breathing is forbidden in that moment. Moments after, Tirgume starts clearing her throat as she frowns, tilting from left to right; she looks uncomfortable. As if something yanked her, she suddenly breathes in with a sudden impulsive spasm, as if waking up from a bad dream, leaving Membere to yelp in shock. She then clothes her eyes to stay calm once again, but Bamlakfekad suddenly starts to share Membere’s earlier doubt.

  Tirgume huddled in her seat and opened her eyes, deepening her frown lines she just forms. “This is odd,” she says, huddling tighter as she rocks herself back and forth, in fear. “I…I never saw this before,” she says, rubbing her hands one with the other to worm herself, as Bamlakfekad and Membere look at each other briefly and turns to her in confusion.

  “What?” Bamlakfekad is on the edge of his seat and excited to hear what she will say to them. He is now not sure and yet still reminding himself about what Membere’s brother Tigabu told him about her. He is reminding himself about the story he heard about Tirgume, who had to change her name to find peace and leave away from all the chaos her career brought in her life. They found out that she helped solve a murder case that almost got her killed. He doesn’t want his sudden thought to take his readiness away at the last moment.

  After all, she said this is odd and this must not happen to her before. Not everything has to happen the same way, he wonders to himself.

  “Did you…is she…?” Memebere is asking her but it’s not even clear for her to say what she really wants to ask about. She isn’t even audible enough for herself.

  “It’s hard to say,” Tirgume mumbles as her entire body suddenly shivers, to what seems like there is something within her pushing her body to act impulsively. “I’m…so…sorry,” she says as she breathes visibly, like she is freezing before their eyes. “Are…are yo…you…ca…called?” with each passing second, she is losing her sense to talk because of the rising temperature that is affecting her alone. She is hardly comfortable, but she is now physically changing; her skin is getting paler as her eyebrows start showing ice; like she is freezing. “Whe…where…where am I hea…di…ng heading?” she says in a sobbing manner; the raising temperature isn’t allowing her tears have its way.

  “Oh my God, what’s going on?” Membere flicks up from her sit and runs to her, the moment she is three feet closer to her, she as well feels the change of weather around her. “Bamlk!” Membere screams, turning to him in shock. She touches Tirgume, who is turning completely cold as if she is icing up. Bamlakfekad runs to them and takes his jacket off and puts it on Tirgume, who is freezing inside out. “Mrs Asnakech!” Membere screams as loudly as possible.

  “Asnakech!” Bamlakfekad screams finally, but in a mode; he suddenly forgets his usual manner to address Mrs Asnakech by.

  “Help,” Tirgume whispers her last word and stays still like a statue made out of ice; turning totally white and completely still. Mrs Asnakech and Selam rush into the cold room and start screaming in shock as they all share the cold air together. This indeed never happened before; it’s unusual and gloomy, as it is too close to death experience. Bamlakfekad and Membere are trying to worm her up as Membere does both the screaming and shivering all together.

  “Water, warm water!” Mrs Asnakech
screams as she runs back to the kitchen with Selam behind her; shivering in response to the coldness, “Get to the kid now, why are you here,” Mrs Asnakech screams at Selam, who gasps in shock as she suddenly recalls the infant in bed.

  “God help us,” she says and speeds off to the stairs that go to the bedroom.

  “She’s not moving, hurry!” Membre screams, fighting to remain warm and strong in the freezing cold temperature. Bamlakfekad is doing what he knows is best, the only thing that’s best.

  “Our father who art in heaven, hollowed be thy name, thy kingdom…” Membere looks at him with her eyes watery and places her right hand on his clasped hand to join him in on his prayers. And he smiles pleased to her as they keep going on their prayers.

  “Come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven…”

  Chapter Twelve

  “Now what?” I take my left hand from the grasp of his right and worm hand. “You brought me into a world I choose to follow you into, and you said you would get me back when I’m ready, a lie. You left me alone and I have to move around and find things that are odd, questionable things... creatures, I have seen, oh, I was even attacked in the woods.” Closing my eyes, I ceases on my words so I would keep secret to what Zhai don’t want to let anyone know about. Besides, I should keep cool and I think am losing it. “Not to mention monsters,” I correct the way I am supposed to proceed with my sentences of facts and looks at Zhai, who is exhaling long. “Oh and rescued by something or someone and woken up in another house; true… I am not sharing you with anyone. I am out.”

  Everyone is quietly looking in our direction since I am obviously asking for the attention; loudly about what I want to say, but after my last statement even I am too quiet. Not because I technically screamed it but because it sounds like I hate that there are other ladies here to share him with me.

  Gasping, I roll my eyes to every direction to glimpse at the ladies in the room, who are looking at me in shock…even Katrin seems alerted to what I just said.

  “I already said it,” he utters with what seems like a pleasantry spread on his lips; it’s not bold or deep but even those magical eyes display it all well. “Your word and it will only be you and me.”

  “No. You know that’s not what I meant,” I turn to look at Zhai, who is as shocked as the rest of the ladies, who are staring at me. “I want out, nothing here is making me happy, I want…”

  “No.” Once again, another cold response and I close my eyes as I take time to breathe in and out. The air is poisoned. Not literally, but I am not feeling good about any of what’s going on here to appear good. I am all over the place and disconnected. I wet my lower lip, shaking my head slowly and start walking to the French window that’s cracked.

  “Where are you going?” he asks, and I ceased on my steps.

  “Out, fresh air if there is one and to be alone,” I utter and proceed on my steps. I don’t even want to turn and look back at anyone. This is all confusing to me; most of the ladies seems not happy that they are here but they don’t want him to leave them, is what it feels like.

  I take my pair of shoes off my feet and leave them on the sand to walk on bare feet. I guess this really is what I want, fresh air and moments alone, to think right, mostly beat myself in regret over what I just did. I exhale long as I close my eyes leaning my head back as I indulge the wind to cool me. It feels good, better. I shake my head as I recall my reaction and how wrong I was. What was I thinking, losing my cool? Can you believe what I was asking for? I shake my head in disbelief to the way I acted in there. I get it I have feelings for him but I thought I agree with myself that I don’t want it. So, why am I this mad that there are other women, why am I so envious? I bite my lower lip hard.

  I walk near the sea and allow the water to brush my feet; it feels hot, unusual temperature, I shake my head breathing out as I walk back, covering long distance, but I find my way round the house to sit under the oak tree that me and Zhai used before we left home… Can you believe what I just said? Does this mean that I am finally considering that fact is, I am not going to be able to leave? I walk near the tree with questions belling in my head and I sit on the root, looking back to the wood in distance.

  It’s beautiful, everything on this land is beautiful and full of life. From where I sit by, the view is magical; the woods are filled with colourful life. Even this oak tree is lively that the root is showing electrical moves in the roots. In distance, the wood seems quite harmless. It has a calling. A calling that whispers softly telling to walk into it; as if it’s the safest place.

  It’s really good to be alone. I am taking time to realise how this place functions. The secret is safety and beauty; temptation is the major key. Us humans are weak to fight temptation back; just to figure out the source to the fire we might decide to walk into it, pass through it. I’m not able to realise it but he is tempting as well, I saw how the ladies were and the way I feel around him; I’m unease, weak and his presence manages to wake the strangest desire in me back to life. His presence is like a disease for me; my judgement gets clouded by temptation and I would start to lose focus as I lock gaze with him, and it feels irresistible to bare his touch as well. I hate to be here and I love it at the same time. I am realising that he has been blaming us for destroying earth but look what they turn this beauty into; what’s the difference between us and these creatures, after all?

  “Are you okay?” I squeezed my eyes shut just as I heard Zhai’s voice. I suddenly recall every lady’s reaction, shock and perhaps fear.

  “Why?” I utter through my teeth and she sits next me.

  “I don’t und…”

  “Why were you all shocked? I thought we are on the same page, looking for a way to be free. You and I,” I turn to look at her and see that she is smiling. Hold on, what did I say to make her smile?

  “You think it is simple,” she utters quietly, “If he let us go, he will only let us all go for slavery.” I frown. “It’s not free…” She rolls her hand in the air.

  “It’s not a not a total freedom,” I whisper as I look back into the woods. “I’m sorry,” I suddenly feel ashamed that I acted selfishly. I was wrong, but I really thought he would let everyone go back to their lives. I should have tried to see the other side, consult with my heart. Funny, most of us believe our heart can see better than our brain, I mean, after all, our brain controls everything that feelings starts in there. “I didn’t think,” I add.

  “Well,” she says smilingly. “We all feel that way when we are around him.”

  “Already found a spot to enjoy,” another calm voice takes my attention behind us, but Zhai loses her comfort suddenly that she closes her eyes in umbrage; biting her lower lip hard, squeezing her eye shut and leaning her head back. I can understand she is growling inwards…or at least that’s what it looks like.

  Its Katrin at her best state and relaxed. I hate the dinner, especially after I saw her…okay, if I have to put it honestly, I hate the whole place because of her. Another truth is, the real fact, is that she is beautiful, and I can’t compete with her.

  “Did you not hear what I said,” she utters, calm once again and I stand with Zhai following me.

  “I. Hate. Her,” Zhai utters, with her voice low and in hate.

  “We did,” I utter and start walking down to where she was standing by. I stop on taking more steps as I stand facing her with my arms crossed on my chest. I think I am acting dramatic and already considering her my enemy.

  “Um,” she hums, pressing a smile on her lips with great perception of on what type of mood I am. “I’m only here to check on you, how are you?”

  Hold on, I can’t fight that, I wonder to myself as I gasp lost in finding the right word. “Um, well.” I look at the way she glimpsed at Zhai, who is standing behind me; I will manage to take her and you will be alone, is what seems like she is saying to her with the small amount of glimpses she is sharing towards Zhai. “I have my friend for that, thank you.” I walk right past her.


  “I mean it, I would like to show you around to change your perception of this world.” I once again stop on the steps I am taking and turn to look at her. Now Zhai is standing on the spot I was standing by to speak with her before I proceeded on my steps, with the ‘I want to fight you,’ mood, now she is between me and Zhai but she doesn’t seem worried about it, she isn’t even willing to give us both attention. It’s like she’s a sniper with her focal point on me.

  “And what do you know of my perception about this world?”

  “You said it yourself, earlier after dinner,” she clears her point with a bright smile. “You seem like you hate it here, since you mentioned you want to go back.” She crosses her arms on her chest and I shrug with my left shoulder, tilting a little. I manage to Look at Zhai, who is rolling her eyes at Katrin.

  “Feels like you like it here,” I narrow my eyes at her with the certain thought and she press a smile and look down at her bare foot… I think I finally settle the thought that she was barefoot. Wow, she is really tall as well.

  “I’m only no fool to believe there is a way out,” she presses a smile and meets me back in my eyes.

  “Are you sure you tried to look for one?” I smirk all drama queen and she gasp smilingly.

  “I’ve seen one too many ladies lost in their fight to find one. Wise one’s perceived, right?” she takes a step closer and her tone is totally transferred in a mocking manner.

  “Or you like the place that it suits you well,” I press a smile, mockingly, hoping to sound insulting.

  “More like he fits me, and I love him, but that’s what you do, give more and more to the one you love. If you know anything about love.”

  “True, tha is wha he is trying to give her,” Zhai finally speaks and I see the disappointment on Katrin’s face indefinitely, though she is still looking at me. Zhai is standing with biting her lower lip in pleasure and smiling.