Always (ALWAYS trilogy Book 1)

by Cheryl Holt

  “Miss Drummond has been socializing with the Earl.”

  “Yes, she told me about it.”

  “They were at a picnic together. They were very…friendly.” Edwina pronounced friendly as if it were an epithet.

  “How friendly?” Florence asked.

  “Enough so that the servants are tittering about it.”

  “Perhaps you should order them not to talk about their betters.”

  Edwina bristled. “I don’t need a lecture from you on how to manage my staff.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of offering one,” Florence snidely retorted.

  Edwina’s lips were tight with disapproval. “Miss Drummond is very pretty, and how old is she?”

  “Twenty-two.”

  “The Earl is a rich, handsome, notorious bachelor.”

  Florence frowned. “You think she’s throwing herself at him? Are you accusing her of being smitten?”

  “No. I’m confident matters haven’t progressed beyond cordiality. I simply don’t want her to grow smitten. It would be foolish of her, and the Earl has never possessed the strongest moral compass. He’s not always on his best behavior.”

  “I understand. I’ll speak to her.”

  “No benefit can come from an association. He may seem to dote on her—he may even seem to like her—but it’s his regrettable habit to frivolously dabble with fetching women. I would hate for her to get herself into a jam.”

  “I agree.”

  “And as to Susan…”

  Florence lurched as if she’d been poked with a pin. She wasn’t the most maternal person, but she was very protective of her daughter. No one was allowed to denigrate her.

  “What about her?” she snapped.

  “The Earl informs me that she’s developed a fondness for Trevor. She’s spending too much time with him.”

  “Maybe if her betrothed danced a bit of attendance on her, she wouldn’t need Trevor to keep her busy.”

  Edwina blew out a heavy breath. “As with Miss Drummond, Susan is young and pretty, and we’re out in the country and away from the prying eyes in the city. I’m not claiming she’s engaged in misconduct, but appearances count.”

  “Susan knows that!” Florence huffed.

  “I’m sure she does, but occasionally, girls have to be reminded of the rules that guide us. If Susan isn’t careful, she could damage her reputation. With our being so close to the wedding, we shouldn’t stir any rumors.”

  “There won’t be any. I guarantee it.”

  Florence tossed her napkin on the table, pushed back her chair, and stomped out without a goodbye.

  * * * *

  “Sit down!”

  Susan peeked at Nell, raised a questioning brow, then they sat as her mother had commanded. They were in Florence’s bedchamber, and she’d positioned two chairs for them in front of the hearth where she could loom in as she berated them. What was their infraction?

  “You look upset, Florence,” Nell said, always the peacemaker. “Have we distressed you?”

  “I just had breakfast with that harpy, Edwina Blake.”

  “Mother!” Susan scowled. “Please be more circumspect in how you refer to her. She’ll be my mother-in-law, and there’s no telling who might eavesdrop and tattle to her. Where would I be then?”

  Florence ignored her complaint. “She’s apprised me that both of you are on the verge of disgracing yourselves.”

  “How?” Susan scoffed as Nell insisted, “We are not!”

  Florence whirled on Nell. “Have you—or have you not—been flirting with the Earl?”

  Nell was stunned. “No, I haven’t been flirting with him. You’re being ridiculous. So is Mrs. Blake.”

  “You went to that idiotic picnic with him!”

  “Yes, Florence, but Susan and Trevor were there, as were a half-dozen servants. We loafed on the grass and drank punch. It was hardly risqué.”

  “Edwina declares you to be overly friendly with him.”

  Nell nodded. “Yes, I guess he and I are friendly. He’s very nice.”

  “He’s noticed you for what reason?”

  “It isn’t nefarious. His cousin hosted a picnic. I was there, and he was there. We chatted.”

  “That’s your story?” Florence fumed.

  “It’s not a story. It’s what happened. We talked like civilized adults, he ate some food, then he returned to the manor. It was all very enjoyable.”

  “You will not socialize with him again. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Yes, but you’re being silly.”

  “Am I? You’ve been very sheltered, Nell. A rich, handsome bachelor like Lord Selby can easily lure a female like you into a dicey situation.”

  “He never would, and besides, I barely know him.”

  “Even so, we’ll nip any trouble in the bud before it can blossom. His aunt advises me that he’s a flagrant Romeo. He regularly seduces unsuspecting maidens, so you’ll stay away from him or I’ll send you back to London.”

  Susan bristled. “You will not, Mother. It’s my wedding, and I want her here.”

  “Well, if she intends to tarry, she’d better conduct herself accordingly.”

  Susan cast a furtive glance at Nell, notifying her that Florence was being a nuisance—as usual—and that Susan would never let Nell be sent home like a naughty toddler.

  She assumed their scolding had concluded, but suddenly, her mother pointed a condemning finger at Susan and said, “And as to you!”

  “Me! What did I do?”

  “You’re much too cordial with Trevor, and you will cease any fraternization at once.”

  “He’s about to be my brother-in-law,” Susan protested. “How, precisely, am I to accomplish it? Shall I deliberately snub him? Shall I give him the cut direct when he approaches me? Or should I tell him my mother has forbidden me to be amiable? I’m certain that will make for some lovely family suppers after I’m wed to his brother.”

  “Don’t be smart, Susan. I won’t stand for it.”

  “You’re acting like a lunatic. It’s exasperating enough that you’ve reproached Nell over nothing at all, and I’m not about to have you start in on me.”

  Susan’s gaze was very firm, her temper on a short leash, and she stared her mother down, appearing aggrieved and wrongly accused. Through two decades of dealing with Florence, she’d learned how to deceive and dupe her mother.

  In this instance, Florence was correct. Susan was behaving very badly with Trevor, but she wasn’t married yet. For a fortnight, she was still single and unattached, so she was simply engaged in a bit of innocent flirting. It couldn’t lead anywhere, so how could it hurt?

  It was just that she and Trevor had so much in common. They’d been raised by overbearing mothers and had never felt that their lives were their own. They shared interests and goals, simply yearning to be happy, but they found it so difficult to be content.

  The prior three years, she’d been paraded out on the Marriage Market. She’d been introduced to hundreds of potential suitors, but none of them had intrigued her.

  When her father had betrothed her to Percy, she’d scarcely considered what it would mean. From the time she was small, she’d been aware that she would grow up and be shackled to the man her father selected. That man was Percy Blake, and she couldn’t change that fact.

  But for the next few days, she could pretend, couldn’t she? She could whisper in corners and walk in the moonlight and stroll in the park. She could bask in the delicious attention of a young man who adored her.

  She didn’t care what her mother thought about it, didn’t care what Edwina Blake thought. Susan would do as she pleased, and they could jump off a cliff.

  “The servants are gossiping about you!” Florence seethed.

  “So?” she snottily retorted.

  “After the wedding, this will be your home. They will be your servants. Will you commence your tenure by having them believe you’re a hussy?”

  Susan sighed dramatically. “Oh, M
other, you can be so exhausting. There’s naught happening between Trevor and me.”

  “Swear it to me!” Florence demanded.

  “I swear. We’re friends, and you can’t abide Edwina. Why you’ve allowed her to stir all this discord is beyond me.”

  “I won’t have that shrew lecturing me.”

  “Then don’t let her.” Susan stood. “Will that be all? I certainly hope so because I am tired of listening to you nag. Come, Nell. I need you to help me decide what gown to wear down to supper tonight.”

  Nell stood too, and they marched off. Florence was livid, her fury wafting out, and she warned, “I better not hear that you’ve been off alone with Trevor again.”

  “You won’t,” Susan tossed over her shoulder, but she didn’t slow down.

  “Find your fiancé and make plans to socialize with him today.”

  “Well, I would do that, Mother, but he’s never here. I’m not at all convinced he enjoys my company.”

  “Of course he enjoys your company,” Florence firmly stated. “He’s about to be your husband. He doesn’t have any choice.”

  “I’ll be sure to remember that.”

  She hurried out, arm in arm with Nell. They rushed down the hall to her bedchamber, and as they shut the door, they were giggling like mischievous schoolchildren. Florence had always driven them mad with her pompous posturing. It was a foundation of Susan’s fond relationship with Nell—two against one—with Florence on one side of a fence, and her and Nell on the other.

  Susan was about to escape and leave Florence behind forever, and the minute she could bring Nell with her, she would.

  “I didn’t think she’d ever stop talking,” Susan said as their hilarity waned. “As if I should ignore my future brother-in-law. How could she expect me to shun him?”

  “You can’t, and you shouldn’t, but you ought to be more circumspect. I saw you and Trevor walking around the lake, and you seemed so…intimate, I guess. Even Lord Selby noted how attuned you were.” There was a lengthy pause, then Nell added, “Is there a secret you should share with me, Susan?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I told Mother the truth. He and I are friends. That’s all.”

  “Might I make a suggestion then? Don’t be angry.”

  “I’m never angry with you. You know that.”

  “When you’re with him, be careful. You should never furnish Edwina with reasons to complain about you. Your life with her will be hard enough. You shouldn’t supply her with ammunition to not like you right from the start.”

  “Dear Nell, you always give me such good advice. I will be more careful.”

  She wasn’t serious though. She had ten days to pretend she wasn’t engaged to be married, then the ceremony would be held, and she’d be a wife. The fun would end, and she would have to act as was appropriate to her station.

  In the meantime, she was very, very happy with how matters were swimming along.

  * * * *

  “You had nothing to tell me,” Nell said, “but can I tell you something?”

  “Don’t you always?” Susan replied.

  “You might deem this to be incredibly shocking.”

  “You have shocking news to confide? I’m shocked to hear it.”

  They were still in Susan’s bedchamber, and Nell went to the door and spun the key in the lock. She didn’t want Florence or a housemaid blustering in. This was a story no one could know about, and she was dying to confess it, dying to receive some guidance as to how she should proceed.

  “It’s about Lord Selby,” Nell said.

  “What about him? You coerced him into showing up for Trevor’s picnic, but I can’t fathom how you managed it. He’s avoided everyone else as if they have the plague.”

  “He likes me.”

  “I’m glad he likes someone. I’d begun to suppose the rumors about him are true. He’s been away from England for so long that he’s forgotten our ways. He’s become an outcast and a hermit.”

  “He’s not unsocial. He’s smart and humorous and lonely. It’s why he chats with me. He insists I make him feel better.”

  “My goodness!” Susan studied her, and when Nell’s cheeks heated, she said, “What’s happening with him? Perhaps I will be shocked.”

  Nell’s pulse was racing. Once she spoke the words aloud, there would be no retracting them, but if she didn’t discuss the situation—and soon—she might explode.

  “Last night, he snuck into my bedchamber.”

  “Are you…you…ruined?”

  “No, no, he just…ah…kissed me quite passionately.”

  “Oh, dear.”

  “It’s occurred several times now.”

  Susan bit down a shriek of astonishment. “He’s kissed you several times?”

  “Yes.” Nell groaned in misery. “What should I do? I’m so confused.”

  “Did you invite him to your room?”

  “No! He simply barged in. It was late, and he’d been fighting with his aunt. She’d warned him to stay away from me, and he was upset.”

  “Is he smitten?”

  “I wouldn’t call it smitten,” Nell tepidly said. “He might be a tad…charmed? But I have no idea why. You know me, Susan. I’m not exactly charming.”

  “Yet you’ve captured his attention.”

  “Yes, and I can’t deflect it.”

  “He won’t ever wed you.”

  “Of course not,” Nell hastily concurred.

  “So what could be his purpose other than seduction?”

  “I can’t imagine.”

  “Is he planning an amour? Is he hoping you’d be amenable?” Susan paused, then cautiously asked, “Would you be…amenable?”

  “Maybe,” Nell muttered. “He’s so…so…amazing. When I’m with him, it seems as if moral rules don’t apply to me. It seems as if I should be able to do whatever I like.”

  “This is bad, Nell. This is very, very bad.”

  “I’m in big trouble, aren’t I? I can’t bear to snub him, and I don’t want to ever appear rude or disagreeable. I like being his friend, but I can’t be, can I?”

  “A girl like you can’t be friends with a man like him. It’s not possible.”

  “That’s what I was afraid you’d say.”

  “You can’t let him into your bedchamber again.”

  “No, absolutely not.”

  “Is there a key? Can you lock your door?”

  “Yes, but he could simply use another key, couldn’t he?”

  Susan gasped. “He’s that fixated on you?”

  “Maybe,” she muttered again. “We just connect in a fond way.”

  “You’ve got that right!” Susan snapped.

  “I have to put an end to it, don’t I? I have to order him to leave me alone.”

  “Yes. You must.”

  “I can’t tell him that!” Nell was practically wailing.

  “I understand, but you can’t allow this to continue either. He can’t have any honorable intentions toward you.”

  “No, I’m sure he doesn’t, but I like him so much. And he’s so forlorn. You wouldn’t believe some of the secrets he’s told me!”

  “He’s told you secrets?”

  “Yes.”

  “You have to push him away, and you have to mean it.”

  “I wish my mother was here. I need someone older and wiser to reason with him. I’m positive he’ll never listen to me.”

  “You have to make him listen.”

  “Yes, I suppose,” Nell morosely said.

  “You could move into my room,” Susan suggested. “Would that work? If you were sleeping with me, he couldn’t sneak in.”

  “True, but that wouldn’t stop him from dragging me into deserted parlors and kissing me.”

  “He’s dragged you into parlors?”

  “Yes.” Nell felt as if she was shrinking with each torrid admission. “Do you hate me now?”

  “No, I don’t hate you. I’m terrified for you, but I don’t hate you.”

&
nbsp; “When we parted last night, I promised him I’d devise some activities we could enjoy together today.”

  “You will not engage in any activities with him.”

  “How can I avoid it? What if he comes looking for me? What if he seeks me out?”

  “You and I will have some fun instead. We’ll flee the estate and stay away until dark. If he searches for you and learns that you left, it will send a firm message that you’re not playing his game.”

  “I doubt it, Susan. He can be very dogged in getting what he wants, and I can’t erect any barriers and keep them in place.”

  “I’ve figured out a plan to thwart him!” Susan brightly said. “I’ll ask Trevor to arrange an outing. We’ll take a carriage ride to see the sights in the neighborhood.”

  Nell scowled. After the scolding Florence had just delivered, she shouldn’t provide Susan with an excuse to socialize with Trevor, but she was already hurrying out of the room.

  “Where are you off to?” Nell inquired.

  “To find Trevor—to discover if he can escort us. Grab your cloak and bonnet and meet me down in the foyer. We’ll be away from the manor before you can blink.”

  Susan flitted out, and Nell collapsed onto a nearby chair. From the moment she’d arrived at Selby, nothing had gone as it should have.

  Susan shouldn’t spend the day with Trevor, and Nell shouldn’t abet her. Nell should grow a spine and speak directly to Lord Selby about their burgeoning relationship. She should tell him to cease and desist, but she couldn’t imagine doing that.

  My, my but wasn’t she in trouble?

  * * * *

  Percy Blake sat in his London parlor and stared out at the street that ran by the apartment he rented.

  It was a busy area close to the theaters, so their neighbors were actors and actresses, aspiring singers and graceful opera dancers. When he’d been a university student, he’d liked to gambol with his rowdy friends, and it had all seemed extremely thrilling. Now it merely seemed seedy and exhausting.

  He wished he’d never seen the bloody city, wished he’d never started to drink and wager and consort with loose doxies. The preachers always railed about how it led a fellow down the road to perdition and weren’t they correct?

  Pamela came in from the other room, and he made sure he was smiling. He never wanted her to realize he wasn’t happy, that he was regretting his choices, or they’d quarrel, and he was much too overwhelmed to bicker.