Authentic Gravitas

by Rebecca Newton

  The Reactive Rule

  Good for Juan, you may be thinking. But how can I keep adding all these windows for myself to just think when I’m already so busy? First, you must accept how reactive your day is. It’s a lovely idea to be completely in charge of your time and to set your own agenda, but even the most senior professionals don’t have full control of their time. Often they have the least control because many other people need them. Whether it’s face-to-face, on a call, via email or some social platform—clients, customers, stakeholders, and colleagues regularly need us to do things for them. They need us to communicate decisions, to offer input, to deliver. We spend a significant part of our day simply responding to others. If leading with authentic gravitas requires us to create new windows, then in order to fit these windows in, we need to adhere to the Reactive Rule.

  Consider your week. What percentage of your day is spent reacting? What percentage is beyond the scope of your own control? I find it typically varies from anywhere between 30 to 80 percent. It’s likely to change daily, but try to identify an average to use as a reference point. Then, when thinking about your week or your day, accept that you only have the remaining percentage to plan around. Often we plan 100 percent of our working hours, as if we live in a bubble with complete control of our day. It’s easy to unintentionally succumb to this desire to plan all our time. When we max out our day with all the tasks we want to get done and don’t make room for unexpected demands on our time, the reactive realities kick in. We finish the day much later than planned, or feel frustrated that we couldn’t accomplish what we set out to do. And when we’re already feeling behind, it’s nearly impossible to make time for “luxuries” like personal, strategic, or pre-meeting thinking time. If, on average, 40 percent of your time is spent reacting to others’ requests or demands, then at the start of the day, plan only 60 percent of your work time. You may be in the office for ten hours, say, from eight a.m. to six p.m. Now only plan to achieve six hours’ worth of work and leave the rest open. When requests come up, you’ve made space for them.

  But again . . . you’ve just reduced the number of hours you have in the day! Following the Reactive Rule only helps to create space when you can first get some time up your sleeve.

  Our Professional Tendency to Move the Goalposts In

  Juan and I not only introduced Pregame Thinking Time and the Reactive Rule into his workday, but also looked at the way he was responding to requests. “Yes, sure, I can get that to you by Thursday,” was his instinctive response if Thursday was the very fastest he could envision achieving the request. This was true for his interactions not only with his managers, but also with clients, suppliers, and people who reported to him. In our fast-paced professional life, we feel pressured to give our best as quickly as we possibly can. It’s probably something that we learned relatively early in our careers as a way to differentiate ourselves from our peers and fast-track our success. And then this habit remains unchecked as we progress, so we retain a natural professional tendency to move the goalposts in. But in doing so, we can create deadlines for ourselves that are earlier than required. Often we declare we will deliver sooner than the other person needs us to. And so our new timeline, which may have pleasantly surprised our counterpart, is set as the new goalpost.

  Recently, I was on a call with an American friend and colleague in my field. We were discussing a new venture together. When I suggested it would be useful for me to see a list of his goals for the project, he quickly offered to have something to me by the end of the week. But knowing how much he has going on, and that we were only looking to have a plan in place by the time he visits London in a few months, I pushed back. “Darryl,” I replied, “any time in the next six weeks is fine. It will help me to prepare for our meeting in London when you’re here. But I don’t need it before then. I know you’ve got a lot going on.”

  “Yes, of course”—I could hear his smile over the phone—“that’s great.” It’s easy to just say, “Okay, thanks,” to offered time frames, regardless of whether I need them that quickly or not. I’ve had to learn to push back when people are trying to get things to me quickly if I don’t need them quickly.

  For Juan, he now suggests wider goalposts when he receives requests. His natural instinct may be to say, “Yes, in three days?” He now pushes it to “Yes, in four (or five) days—is that okay?” If his first thought is, “Sure, in three weeks,” then he now offers, “Sure, in four (or five) weeks—does that work for you?” Be confident that people will tell you if they need it sooner! But Juan finds nine times out of ten, his counterpart says, “Yes, great, thanks.” He has gained days and sometimes weeks by not giving in to his learned professional tendency to offer to deliver as soon as physically possible. And in doing so, he is now able to be realistic about reactive time, and to build in pregame thinking and thought leadership windows. And when the answer is, “Actually, I really need it sooner (e.g., tomorrow, or next week),” Juan is able to confidently say yes and deliver, because he’s built more time into his schedule overall. Always make sure the goalpost you suggest works for the other person. With these habits in place, you have more flexibility to deliver quickly when it’s needed. This is particularly important in matrix organizations, where you have multiple people from various areas of the business asking things of you, or where you manage multiple client/customer accounts simultaneously.

  In moving the goalposts out when possible and appropriate, Juan is able to live within the reality of the Reactive Rule and have meaningful pregame times. This enables him to not only get clarity around his thinking and goals regarding the issue at hand, but also means he can build in space for free-flow thinking and personal thought leadership windows. The goal is not to reduce the amount Juan gets done in a day, but rather to position him to give strategic, high quality contributions on a long-term, sustainable basis. This means creating space for him to be broadly curious—questioning and brainstorming novel ways to approach the complex realities around him.

  CURIOSITY THROUGH THE BUSYNESS

  Part of building authentic gravitas is a commitment to choosing curiosity, an interest in continually learning and understanding. People who do this effectively and sustainably make this happen not outside of but rather through the busyness, with simple habits to ensure they keep growing despite the continual immediate pressures. Arrogance is based on a belief (whether we’re aware of that belief or not) that we know “enough”—even thinking more highly of our current knowledge and abilities than the potential of activities we’re engaged in.

  Researchers from Boston College, Georgia Institute of Technology, and Arizona State University looked at the role of curiosity in how well people adapted in a new organization.12 They note the importance of understanding this “newcomer experience”; many of us will have multiple new roles and join new organizations throughout our careers. I would also argue that we can regularly experience being a newcomer each time we build a new key client, customer, or stakeholder relationship and look to understand and fit into their ways of working, as well as when we move to a new team within the same organization. How do we have authentic gravitas when we’re in a new role or environment? Choosing curiosity is key.

  In the study, the researchers found that broad curiosity (wider interest, not just wanting to have specific pieces of data or job-related questions answered) was related to positive framing (when people try to change how they understand a situation, intentionally choosing a positive lens for the way in which they see it). People with a desire to explore and look for a diverse array of data (this broad curiosity) were more likely to try to change their understanding of a new situation. That, in turn, was positively associated with “taking charge” (when an individual ventures to change the status quo where, for example, procedures or policies are inefficient). This is as an extra-role behavior—meaning it’s not dependent on hierarchy or position. People who lead the room, making improvements and adding value, are curiou
s. The researchers note that this “taking charge” behavior is an especially important part of the newcomer experience because newcomers can innovate as they come to understand the organization. Newcomers are able to offer a fresh perspective and aren’t as entrenched in the established ways of doing things. Are we able to lead positively, adding significant value, regardless of position, even when we’re new? Yes. To do so, we can’t afford to underestimate the importance of choosing a curious mind-set, and we can’t allow ourselves to be too busy to act on our curiosity.

  Being curious isn’t just reflected in asking questions and exploring ideas in a meeting. It’s also seen in our attitude to, and action toward, continuous learning. On a regular basis, are we hungry for, and equipping ourselves with, the right kind of brain food?

  When Nobody Is Watching

  In his bestselling book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey directs us to a simple yet powerful framework for thinking about ways we can spend our time on a 2x2 matrix.13 He encourages us to differentiate between what is urgent and important, what is urgent and not important, what is not urgent and important, and what is not urgent and not important. Of course, we naturally attend to what is both urgent and important. But after that, we typically fall into attending to what is urgent but not necessarily important. And often the career-defining and professionally differentiating activities are not urgent. Taking a course, writing in an industry magazine, keeping up to date with developments in the field, and starting a new initiative are just some examples of activities that in the medium- to long-term could significantly impact your credibility and your ability to contribute, to lead the room, and to lead in your organization and in your field. Usually, these are the things that nobody else is asking you to do or checking on.

  People who have authentic gravitas lead themselves and prioritize such things that are not urgent. It’s difficult when there’s so much to do that is urgent, regardless of its importance. Look to create meaningful windows in your schedule to make progress in those (most likely niggling) things that are not urgent but could be important for your professional development. At the top of the list of important but not urgent tasks is what we are reading and who we are listening to. In the confidence of the coaching room, clients often disclose the reality of their busy schedules and one consistent challenge: staying on top of industry developments and learning new skills when nobody is watching.

  LIFE AS A COMMUTER: PROSPECTION, REFLECTION, AND BRAIN FOOD

  In a coaching session with Emma, a recently appointed junior partner at a London firm, she revealed to me that her goal was to become a senior partner within the next four to five years. With less than 20 percent of the junior partners ever making the transition to senior partner, I knew this was an ambitious goal and time frame. She had asked to see me because she felt she needed more gravitas. “How’s your thinking life?” I asked. Emma was surprised, having come in with the expectation that we would be talking about tips and tricks for (surface) gravitas. “Not great,” she replied. “I feel like I spend all my time in meetings or reading.” “What are you reading?” I was interested to know. Emma looked down. “Well, emails mostly,” she answered, quickly rolling her eyes. “I’m reading emails. Oh, and client reports . . . that either I or other people have written.” And after a long pause, “I’m way too busy in my day-to-day. I never have time to think about anything else other than what I have to get done and the meetings I’m in. And at the end of the day and on weekends, I’m exhausted and trying to keep a semblance of a social life.”

  I asked Emma what she felt she should be reading. She aspired to regularly read the news, various industry magazines, commentaries on wider business and societal issues, and leadership and professional development books. The reality is that most of us know what would be great “brain food” for us, but can’t seem to find time to build it in to our daily life. When I asked Emma to give me the names of three to five people in her firm whom she considered to have gravitas, she readily offered a few. “Do you think they’re reading some or all of those things fairly regularly?” “Yes, I’m sure they do,” she conceded. “And are you busier than them?” I said with a friendly grimace, both of us knowing what the answer would be. “No, no. Okay, let’s do this.”

  Emma made a decision to leave home just fifteen minutes earlier each day, giving her time to get coffee on the way to the train station and briefly sit and read the newspaper. She felt this was enough time to skim the front pages and take a deep dive into one or two articles in the business pages that were particularly relevant for not just her own work, but the wider work of her firm. She had to be disciplined to not just use this extra time for her usual work—fifteen minutes’ more work would be wonderful. She continually felt she needed all the time she could get! But Emma could see the value of setting aside time to read the news and was disciplined about doing this each morning before work. Of course, on the odd day, Emma wouldn’t be able to get up fifteen minutes earlier, or she’d have to go in to work sooner, but this was the exception, not the rule.

  Then we looked at her actual commute. She was on the train for half an hour heading into London each morning, then switched to the subway (“the Tube”), where she would spend another fifteen minutes before reaching her offices. She also had the reverse forty-five-minute journey on the way home. Usually during her commute, Emma would be on email, responding to the multiple requests that had come in since she’d last checked, or flicking through social media. Occasionally she would read a novel, which she found relaxing. What was the best way she could use these 7.5 hours per week?

  Interesting studies in the UK and US, discussed in a Harvard Business School working paper, looked at the effects of lengthy commutes and the different ways people use their time.14 The authors note that globally, the average commute is thirty-eight minutes, and that with longer commute times, there can be negative effects on employees’ well-being and greater levels of stress, linked to decreased job satisfaction and increased emotional exhaustion. Looking at the commute to work, they found that engaging in future-oriented “work-related prospection” (the tendency to think about the work day ahead and make plans about work tasks and goals) positively influences job satisfaction. They found that people who were higher in “trait self-control” (the ability to alter or override dominant response tendencies and regulate their behavior, thoughts, and emotions to consistently stay on track with their goals) were less likely to experience the negative effects of lengthy commutes because they engaged in this work-related prospection. Importantly, the researchers noted that although some people with higher levels of trait self-control might be more predisposed to use their commute this way, others may be able to learn to engage in this type of thought during their commute and reap its benefits. As commuters, we get to choose how we use our commute time, and being intentional and disciplined will make a difference. The research suggests that thinking about our working day ahead and making plans and goals is a beneficial way to spend this time. How we get to work influences how we show up at work.

  So what does this mean for Emma? She decided she would use her commuting time in two ways. First, she would read industry-relevant magazines that would energize and inform her thinking. Then, for the remainder of her journey, she would focus on the day ahead—planning not just what she had to get done, but also reflecting on her wider goals and those of her team. She would think about the meetings she had planned for the day, who she would encounter, and how she wanted to show up. She could do that whether she managed to get a coveted seat on the train so she could open her notebook, or if she was standing. In the latter case, as soon as she arrived at work, she’d quickly jot down some bullet points to capture her thoughts. On occasion, Emma had to drive to another office about an hour and a half away. On these days, she would engage in prospection while eating breakfast, thinking about the day ahead and her wider goals, and would use the car time well by listening to audiobooks on pro
fessional development that she had on her list.

  And That’s a Wrap: Ending as You Mean to Go On

  What about at the end of Emma’s day? Researchers from HEC Paris, Harvard University, and the University of North Carolina conducted studies looking at the role of reflection in learning.15 Their research suggests that once a person has acquired a certain amount of experience with a task, the benefit of getting more experience is less than the benefit of reflection—deliberately articulating and codifying (organizing into categories) their experience accumulated in the past. And the effects aren’t a one-off, but appear to endure over time. Individuals who spent fifteen minutes at the end of the day reflecting on lessons learned performed 23 percent better after ten days than those who didn’t reflect. Looking at this “deliberate learning” (as opposed to “experiential learning”), the researchers questioned whether this reflection that fuels learning is common wisdom or if it’s contrary to most people’s intuition. When given the choice between deliberate and experiential learning, the overwhelming majority chose to gain more experience rather than use the time for reflection, expecting it would enable them to perform better in the future. Except it didn’t. Participants scored higher in the following round of the experiment when they decided to reflect upon the experiences they’d already had, instead of collecting more experience.

  Emma decided that she would make an effort to finish work earlier and build in reflection time, instead of working as late as possible and then being too tired to think about anything. Rather than succumb to the call of social media on her commute home, Emma would use the time to reflect on the day gone by. She would then consciously switch from work-related thinking to reading more broadly on general business, economic, and social issues. On Fridays, if she’d been disciplined throughout the week you’d find Emma on the way home still reading, except it would be Vogue or Grazia! It’s like the diet where one day a week you get to eat whatever you want, so long as you’ve eaten healthily the rest of the week.