Bearing It All

by Tl Reeve

  “Oh, Hayden,” Emma sighed. She didn’t know what else to say to the wolf other than, oh no. She hugged her friend. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “There’s nothing to say,” Hayden answered. “Anyway, ever since then, people have put locks on their doors to keep me out.”

  Emma heard the sadness in her friend’s voice. Had her family realized how much they hurt her by doing such to a young, impressionable girl? She glanced at the book again. “Hayden, I did something.”

  Her friend laughed. “Yeah, I kind of heard you last night. Well played.”

  “Ohmigod, you heard us?” Shit, she thought they were pretty quiet. No need in having someone stumble upon them on accident.

  Hayden laughed. “We’re wolves, and family. We hear everything and see it all.”

  Emma groaned. “Well, for now, nothing happened.”

  “Uh huh,” Hayden teased. “Nothing happened.” She made air quotes while rolling her eyes. “Just don’t tell me about it, okay? I don’t need to know what you and Bodhi do.”

  “Deal.” She grimaced. “Do you love all this weirdness?” Emma motioned to the house.

  The corner of Hayden's mouth kicked up. “Hell yeah, I do. We're one giant, dysfunctional family. Haven't you seen the way the men act? I mean all of the men? They have a pissing contest every time we have a get-together.” She lowered her voice. “Which is almost every weekend. Everyone says I remind them of Kalkin, I think I'm more like Mac. Anyway, I don't think I'd ever change a thing about them”

  Emma could see Mac more than Kalkin. Kalkin still scared the shit out of her. “Well, then, what I’m about to show you, should make you excited. I hope, anyway.” She grabbed the journal off the table, while Hayden gave her a quizzical look. “Have you thought about when you would like to have your ceremony?”

  “N-no, why?” Her friend furrowed her brows.

  “What if I told you I planned everything, and we only have three things left to do?” Emma braced herself. She knew she shouldn’t have to, but conditioning had dictated she might need to, just in case Hayden hated the idea.

  “Wait. I’m sorry. I don’t think I heard you right. You planned my wedding/mating ceremony?”

  Emma nodded while opening up the book. “Your brother knows.” She frowned. “Hence what you walked in on last night.”

  “Wait. You’ve been planning this?”

  “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I wanted to do something nice for you, since you’re always so nice to me.” She shrugged. “After the games, you made me realize I didn’t have to put up with those stupid girls. I was better than them.”

  “Wow.” Hayden stared at the book in her hands. “This is it, then?”

  “Yeah. I have colors, dresses, decorations. I have to pick up the dresses from the shop, you have to pick out rings and music. Food has been taken care of by Victor and Tate, and Bodhi said Utah built the arch.”

  Bodhi also told her he wanted to marry her with Nico and Hayden. She hadn't given him an answer last night because a piece of her still wondered how truthful he'd been. Sure, the attraction between them was mutual, and she did love him, but some part of her still held back. Then, he came back to her room and ravished her.

  She’d tell him yes, later. When they could be alone.

  “This is amazing, Emma.” Hayden flipped through the few pages of notes she’d made. “Yes.”

  Emma blinked. “Seriously?”

  “Yes! Duh,” Hayden squeaked. “It’s going to be amazing. I already know it. What do you want to do first?”

  “Go to Mrs. Martin’s to pick up the dresses?”

  Hayden hugged her. “Perfect. I’ll gather the troops.” She stood. “Emma ... thank you, and ... welcome to the family. Bodhi is already so in love with you. He’s going to make you extremely happy, I just know it.”

  “Uh ... wow. Thanks. I guess, I mean, I feel the same way. I’m nervous.”

  Hayden pulled her off the bed. “Get dressed. We’ll talk about it with everyone. Together, we’ll come up with a solution.”

  They arrived at the shop an hour later, and a lightness settled over Emma. She had a mate. He’d marked her. Knotted her. Okay, so maybe she had a little pep to her step, too. As they walked into the shop. The bells above the door chimed, and Annabelle appeared at the counter.

  “You’ve returned,” Annabelle greeted Emma. “Are you ready to pick everything up?”

  Emma smiled. Warmth, along with a sense of belonging filled her. “Yes. We are. I thought I would show everyone their dress.”

  “I saved the pink one just for you,” Annabelle stated.

  Emma glanced down at her feet. “Oh, I don’t think it’ll fit properly.” As much as she coveted the frock, she wasn’t sure she could pull it off.

  “Oh, you.” She waved off Emma’s concerns. “Let’s see what your friends have to say.” They walked over to the rack of dresses near the dress form where the pink and silver dress waited for her. “Ladies, Emma needs a dress, and I think she should pick this one.”

  Annabelle strolled over to the dress Emma had coveted since they arrived in town only a few days ago. It seemed a lifetime had passed since then. The bells over the door jangled drawing their attention.

  “Hayden! Oh hey! Have you seen Bodhi?” The bomb-shell of girl flounced over to them. Her long, wheat-colored hair hung all the way to her butt. She wore a triple zero or pretty close to it in a pair of shorts and a crop top. She also wore tons of makeup. Straight up, the girl was everything Emma wasn't.

  “Gwen,” Hayden ground out. “As a matter of fact, I have. Unfortunately, he's busy.”

  Gwen pouted. “Darn it. I have been trying to catch up with him since he returned, and he’s been ducking me.”

  “No, not Bodhi. He’d never,” Zoe said sarcastically. “Scram, Gwen. Go back to the hole you climbed out of.”

  “Zoe,” Bell exclaimed. “Be nice to the street urchin.”

  The girl huffed, then narrowed her eyes at Emma. “Who are you, and why are you staring at me?”

  Emma licked her lips. Her bear surged forward, and she wanted so badly to tell the truth, but she liked having a bit of Bodhi to herself, even if this skank could potentially be a wrench in her mating. “I'm—”

  “None of your concern,” Hayden growled. “Get out of here, Gwen.”

  The girl flipped her hair over her shoulder, and for a second, Emma imagined snatching her by the lush locks and dropping her to the floor. The girl really rubbed her the wrong way. The fact she wanted Bodhi, only made the unease worse. “Tell Bodhi I sure have missed him, and I can’t wait to catch up with him.” She gave Emma a once over before exiting the store.

  “Don’t let her get to you,” Hayden whispered, as they watched Gwen leave. “She’s had the hots for Bodhi since ... forever.”

  “Well, she is definitely interesting, to say the least.” And, probably more to Bodhi's liking as well.

  Bodhi sat at the table with his uncles, fathers, and cousins. He wanted to let them in on the surprise for Nico and Hayden, and also his intention if he could get Emma to consent. He glanced at his uncle Kalkin who'd been giving him a curious look since he gathered them together.

  “I have almost everything set. I think Emma is doing the rest, today,” Bodhi stated. “Here's what is left.” He placed the list on the table, then turned to Kal. “I do have one request if Nico is okay with it.”

  Nico nodded.

  “We’d like you to officiate it, Uncle Kal,” Bodhi stated.

  “Did you knock her up?” Kalkin grunted.

  Bodhi reared back. What the fuck? He sat there for a moment and replayed the night before with Emma. No way, they’d made enough noise to catch his uncle’s attention. Nor had he let Emma mark him. He, however, bit the curve of her breast, marking her as his. “What? No.”

  He also didn’t want to talk about the fact he’d knotted her outside the full moon. Only three people now could do so. Him, Kalkin, and Caden. They weren’t supposed to do tha
t. Worse, he didn’t even think about the pregnancy thing last night. After taking a shower, he’d only wanted to check on Emma, but the minute he saw her still naked, the scent of her arousal still so thick in the air, he had to have a taste.

  One lick had turned into a leisurely feast of his mate. Her sweetness melted on his tongue and made him hungry for more. Then, she opened her pretty amber eyes, and, fuck, he lost control. He had to have her, no matter what. He could still feel her pussy flutter around his dick, which made sitting there even harder.

  “You marked her,” Caden added. “Don’t deny it.”

  The guys stared at him, including Nico, who wore a shit-eating grin on his face. “I’m not denying anything,” he answered. “But, I didn’t get her pregnant.”

  “Bullshit. You pulled out, too,” Kal snorted.

  “One time won’t knock her up,” Bodhi growled, feeling self-conscious. “Why don’t we talk about Hayden or Bell here? Why are you guys staring at me?”

  Again, the rage he thought he dealt with all those years ago, reared its ugly head, and he had to fight the urge to rip something or someone apart. He glanced around the table. Jackson and Christoph were sputtering out an answer to Rapier, while Nico continued to watch him. What the fuck was wrong with these people?

  “Look, will you do it, Kal? Please? I’m not really doing this for me. I’m doing it for Emma, who is doing it for Hayden because the girls have been her friend. She doesn’t have much of anything in her life, and this is my way of contributing.”

  “Yep,” Wy laughed. “Pussy whipped. Happens the first time you sink balls deep, kid.”

  His uncles and the Dryers laughed. “None of us can warn you, either,” Rapier added. “You have to experience it.”

  “Yeah, well,” Bodhi muttered.

  “Look, you’re a mate now, be proud.” Jackson nudged him. “Emma is a sweet girl, and I bet she’ll give you tons of cubs or pups, or both.”

  The idea of Emma getting pregnant with his pups, made his dick throb. “Yeah, maybe. But, we’re also in school, so I want to wait until she is ready.”

  Kal snorted. “You knotted her. Don’t deny it. I can smell it, so can Caden, and your father.”

  Heat crept into his cheeks. “I don't want to talk about this.”

  “Fine,” Blake stated. “Not now, but we’re here for you, too, Bodhi. We realize you have questions, fears, worries ... it’s okay to come to us.”

  “You’re also worried about Loraine,” he said. “She’s priority right now.”

  A look passed between Jace and Blake. “Trust us, she’s stronger than she lets on.”

  “Dad ...” he groaned. “Don’t need to know this. I mean I’ve heard about Kalkin knotting Keeley, the same with Caden. The Dryers and their hyper sex drives that leave their mates piles of goo when they’re done.” Bodhi let out a breath. “Please?”

  Kalkin laughed. “Yeah, kid, I’ll do it. You’re way too easy to give shit to.”

  He rolled his eyes. “So, are we going to work?”

  Caden nodded. “We’re all helping at the orphanage today. We’re doing an add-on for the newest orphans who showed up late last night.”

  Kalkin stood. “You did good, Bodhi, don't forget it. The rest of this shit comes easier. Nothing better than holding your pups and your mate at night. The other, well, it’s an alpha thing. Congrats. One of these days you might get to kick my ass.”

  Bodhi nodded, trying to process what Kalkin told him. “Thanks.” I think.

  “And, you, Nico, Jackson, and Christoph are on grocery shopping detail, and meat duty, too. Since you've mated Emma early, it's time for all you boys to man the grill for a change and let us old men sit this one out,” Kalkin announced winking at Bodhi.

  “Great. Meat duty, how poetic,” he muttered as they got ready to leave.

  Chapter Ten

  Emma stood back, waiting, watching the entire Raferty and Dryer clans interact and bust on each other. Nonstop. It was a wonder these family outings didn't end in bloodshed and mass casualties. Maybe it had something to do with all the Rafertys being deputies and having ironclad control of their aggressiveness to not beat the shit out of each other. She stood back watching a shirtless Bodhi and Nico man the grill, while the older generation sat nearby relaxing while armchair quarterbacking everything they did.

  Bodhi was getting irritated. She could see it in in the stiffness of his shoulders and the narrowing of his eyes every time someone made a comment. Nico had been more relaxed. She suspected it had to do with Hayden being in the circle with her uncles, busting on them as they busted on the guys.

  Emma didn’t have Hayden’s level of comfort yet, and she doubted she ever would. Bad enough, she went out of her way to avoid conversation with Kal. And, after the other morning, she made sure to never be the first one downstairs, or alone with him, for that matter. He knew it, too. Damn him. His ice-blue gaze mocked her when he watched her.

  “Hey,” Bell said coming up beside her. “Why are you hanging out over here?”

  Emma took a long sip of her soda, trying to find an adequate excuse for her lack of participation with Bodhi’s family. My family, too. Yet to be determined, even if they were mates. “I'm keeping an eye on Cassidy, Nic, and Aiden.” She gestured toward the young threesome sitting on a log, around the fire.

  “You don’t have to be ever watchful, Em,” Bell said. “The boys won’t step out of line. They know better. Their dad, hell even uncle Kal, will beat their asses if they do anything untoward to her.”

  “She’s so young.”

  “So was Hayden when the family knew who and what Nico would eventually be to her. Nico wasn’t family, but he knew better than to touch her until she came of age.”

  She sighed, looking away. Emma deserved the lecture she received. If she hadn’t lied, Bell wouldn’t be putting her in her place.

  “Emma,” Bell said softly enough, so she had to turn to look at her. “That’s not what’s really bothering you, is it?”

  Damn shifters and their pesky super snouts. Emma’s sense of smell in human form wasn’t the greatest. As a bear, she could detect anything and everything, even a marshmallow left in a bag, three apartment buildings down from where she and Cassidy lived. However, she never learned how to integrate the two halves of herself. Enough sob story. You’re better than that.

  “It’s fine, Bell,” she assured the other woman, unwilling to open herself up and admit all her own self-doubts about herself and her relationship with Bodhi.

  Her freaking insecurities were killing her. She'd have thought after Bodhi mated her, those feelings would slip away. Instead, they seemed even more intense. Why would a guy like Bodhi, who was built, want someone like her? Those feelings of being less than, reared their head after seeing Gwen. Intuition told her Bodhi had a long, sordid past with the other woman. She wasn't stupid. Emma knew Bodhi hadn't come to her bed a virgin and neither had she—kind of. One drunken pokey-pokey, jerky-jerky, doesn’t make anyone an expert. It just hurt seeing the better-looking woman, searching for him the next morning after they had mated.

  “One day, hopefully soon, you'll realize what he sees in you. For your sake and his, I hope it's soon, Emma. Your continued rejection of his love, and why he is with you, will wear him down. To the point where it won't matter what he says, or more importantly, does to get you to believe him.”

  “It’s hard, Bell. I haven’t had the best foundation.”

  “Yeah,” Bell said, with a bit of a sarcastic tone. “I get it. But, neither has he. This” —Bell gestured to the group— “Is a relatively new experience for him. His life hasn’t always been simple or easy. Hayden fit in easier when she showed up. Bodhi was already here, living as an outsider when he knew his family was within reach.” Bell cocked her head, watching her. “You have no clue, do you?”

  “No. Not really. I mean, I’ve pieced together bits and pieces of his childhood. But, he’s never told me outright,” Emma said.

  “Right. Ha
ve you ever asked him, though?”

  “No, I haven't,” she admitted.

  Damn, Bell was making her sound like a selfish bitch.

  Bell reached out, laying a comforting hand on her arm. “I'm not judging you, Emma. I swear.” Bell gave her a gentle squeeze. “You guys danced around your mating for months and hit warp speed once you got to Window Rock. It's a lot to take in, I get it. And really, I only want to help. Hayden too. Learn from our mistakes. You should carve out some time to just talk about it. Ask him. I know Bodhi, he'll be open and honest. He always is.”

  Suddenly, the contents of her drink seemed fascinating.

  “No time like the present,” Bell suggested, removing her hold on her arm and giving her a gentle nudge with her elbow.

  “He’s busy.” Emma glanced up from the red cup toward where Bodhi stood flipping burgers for the younger kids.

  “He’s never too busy for his mate,” Bell claimed, before heading toward her mates, who were currently surrounded by the Dryer Pride. A peek at Jackson and Christoph’s faces, and she could tell Bell’s family had been giving the guys a hard time.

  After placing the cup on the table off to her right, Emma took a deep, fortifying breath and headed toward her mate. She felt like prey, in a good way, actually, as she walked toward him. His gaze had been on her the entire time.

  “Hey, Nico, do you mind if I steal Bodhi for a bit?” Emma kept her focus on the other guy while plastering a fake smile on her face. It was hard, especially since her stomach seemed to be in knots.

  “Sure,” the other wolf said. “All the meat is on, cooking. It’s just the burgers and the hotdogs for the littles.” Nico smiled back, winking at her. “Take all the time you need. Push comes to shove, I’ll enlist one of the old men to help.”