Cyborg Cat and the Night Spider

by Ade Adepitan

  ‘N, S, N, S. Who could that be?” said Shed.

  We all gawped at the Night Spider’s new masterpiece, but as the boys took a closer look, I made sure to stay back. The graffiti was truly spellbinding, but I wasn’t going to make the same mistake as I did yesterday. I was taking no chances about getting sucked into it again.

  “Ade, what are you doing?” Brian said, laughing out loud.

  Dexter and Shed turned to look at me and immediately started laughing as well.

  I guess I must have looked odd standing sideways on to the wall and looking at it out of the corner of my eye, but I was hoping that if I didn’t stare at it full-on then I would be protected. I still couldn’t understand why I was the only one affected by the weird power of the graffiti.

  “Yeah, why are you giving the wall the side-eye, Ade?” Shed asked.

  “Can’t believe you don’t know,” I said, thinking quickly. “Standing sideways is supposed to improve your all-round vision. It’s very good for sports.”

  “Yes, of course!” Brian agreed enthusiastically, coming to stand sideways next to me. “Why didn’t I think of that? It must stimulate your retina and improve your peripheral vision receptors.”

  “Uhh?” Dexter and Shed gave Brian a strange look. I’d made the whole story up, and even I started to wonder what he was talking about.

  They came over to stand next to me as well, though. I was glad no one else came along. The four of us standing there facing each other, while also trying to look at the graffiti sideways, must have looked very strange.

  “All these insects are making me think of the Creepy Crawly House at the safari park,” said Dexter. “It’s meant to be really scary. My brother said when he went there, three children got eaten by a giant Praying Mantis.”

  We all looked at Dex.

  “But I knew he was joking, of course.”

  “Yeah, yeah, Dex,” I said, starting to run towards school. “Come on, we’re going to be late.”

  I heard Brian say, “But I haven’t told you about warthogs’ eyesight yet.”

  Lucky escape!

  “Okay, everyone,” said Mr Hurst. “Put your permission slips for the safari park trip on my desk and then line up by the door.”

  I patted my pocket just to check the slip was still in there and stood up. Everyone in the class was going so there was a bit of a crush at Mr Hurst’s desk, but eventually I made it to the front and put the precious piece of paper down on top of all the others. I headed over to the line and found myself behind the last person I wanted to stand next to: Spencer. He’d taken an instant dislike to me on my very first day at school and things hadn’t got any better since. I guess Spencer and his mates had never got over losing at football to the Parsons Road Gang in front of the whole school. He thought my caliper would slow me down, but he’d underestimated its cyborg super-skills.

  “I’ll be surprised if they let you and your mates out of the safari park,” he hissed. “You’re as stupid as most of the animals there and twice as ugly.”

  “Yeah, well, they probably won’t even let you in … Neville,” I replied.

  That really riled him. We’d only recently found out that Spencer was in fact his middle name. His first name was Neville, which for some reason he hated. I couldn’t understand why. A name like Adedoyin made me stand out a bit too much, but I thought Neville was actually a pretty cool name. Anyway, Spencer hated it and so it was great ammunition. Whenever Spencer tried anything nasty, a quick reminder was all it took to get him really cheesed off.

  “Don’t you call me that, you freak,” is what I think he said back to me, but his voice was drowned out by a loud bell.

  Driiiinnnngggg!

  Driiiinnnngggg!

  Driiiinnnngggg!

  “Fire alarm drill,” Mr Hurst shouted above the ringing. “Make your way down the stairs and out to the meeting place quickly, but in an orderly fashion.”

  Dexter hared past me shouting, ‘Out of my way, future World Cup winner coming through!’ I could tell that this was going to be anything but orderly.

  As the rest of the class headed out I got swept along and found myself being pushed, bumped and jostled from all sides. At first it was quite a laugh, like being inside a huge wobbly jelly, but as the tide of kids carried me along I realised it was actually the perfect opportunity to practise my Cyborg Cat caliper skills. Even though I’d felt tired all morning, I was hoping the excitement would kick-start my powers.

  “Come on, caliper, a little help, please!!”

  I probably looked even stranger than usual pleading with my left leg as I tried to keep up with the rowdy crowd, and then …

  THHUUUDD!

  I had the wind knocked out of me by one of Spencer’s mates barging into my back as he flew past.

  “OUT OF THE WAY, PEG LEG BOY!” he shouted mockingly.

  I started to lose my balance. I stretched my arms out, hoping to find something to hold on to. At best this was going to be mega-awkward, at worst super-embarrassing.

  Suddenly, though, everything started to move in slow motion. It was as if somebody had pressed an action replay button in my head and I could anticipate every move milliseconds before it happened.

  Without hesitation I turned my fall into an athletic forward roll, finishing in a Cyborg Cat crouch, my arms outstretched like I was a bird about to fly, my right knee bent and my caliper leg stretched out.

  It was like the feeling I’d had inside the graffiti wall. As if I’d discovered a new dimension.

  Had I turned into Cyborg Cat for a few moments?

  “Wow!” gasped a group of girls who had seen what had happened. I snapped back to the real world, looked over in their direction and winked.

  Shed caught my eye and grinned. When he’d first met me he’d assumed my caliper would stop me doing a lot of things, but when he saw me playing football, leaping through the air to make great saves, he realised the exact opposite was true. The Parsons Road Gang had given me my nickname, Cyborg Cat, because of it. The kids who’d seen my forward roll were having the same realization.

  With my confidence high and my powers kicking in, I started to glide through the crowds of screaming students, picking up speed all the time.

  “How did –?” shouted someone as I raced past him with my unique style of awkward agility.

  “Woo-hoo!” yelled Dexter from somewhere up ahead.

  By now I was in full Cyborg Cat mode, using my caliper to slide along the floor and then stopping suddenly to change direction with a really cool crunching sound.

  “Wait for me!” shouted Brian, almost totally out of breath.

  There was no way I was slowing down, though. At the top of the stairs I began weaving through the crowd as if I was skiing. Then, halfway down, I had what I thought was a great idea.

  I decided it would be faster, and a lot more fun, to hop onto the banister and slide to the bottom on my caliper. So I did.

  “Slow down, Ade, you’re going too fast,” I heard Melody shout, trying to hold back her laughter.

  “Oh dear, this is going to end very badly! I can feel it in my bones,” said Brian, still trying to keep up.

  I was having trouble getting a clear shot at it, though.

  “Out of the way everybody, Cyborg Cat coming through!” Shed ordered from behind me.

  Perhaps the other kids thought he was a teacher. Or maybe he just had the sort of commanding voice that people listened to. Whatever it was, my path cleared and my route to the bottom seemed easy.

  At least it would have been if I hadn’t suddenly lost my balance and tumbled off the banister.

  “OOOHH! NOO!”

  As I fell, I heard Dexter shouting at the top of his voice. “Don’t worry! Cats have nine lives! Long live Cyborg Caaaaaat!”

  I hit the ground and screamed. A sharp shooting pain rocketed up the back of my leg. It was so agonizing it took my breath away. There was no time to worry about my leg or the pain, though. My fall had sent me hurtling int
o a group of kids at the bottom of the stairs. I crashed into them like a bowling ball and, just like skittles, they went flying.

  “Ow!” shouted the first girl I banged into.

  “Oof!” went someone else.

  “Ouch!” said another.

  And, “Who did that? I’m going to kill them,” said a fourth, all too familiar, voice. It was Spencer. Just my luck.

  “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” I spluttered, stretching out to pick up the scattered books, pencil cases, rulers and sharpeners all around me on the floor.

  The girl who’d said ‘Ow’ was glaring at me and holding her arm.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, looking up at her from where I was lying. And then, because I couldn’t think of anything else to say, “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” again.

  “Of course she’s not okay,” snapped Spencer, standing over me. “None of us are okay, you stupid cripple.”

  “Yeah, let’s get him,” said the person who’d said ‘Oof’.

  “No, really, it was an accident,” I pleaded, still on the floor. “I didn’t mean it.”

  “Yeah, and I don’t mean this,” said Spencer, curling his hand into a fist. “Stand up and face me, you freak.”

  This was serious. I was in a lot of pain and I was pretty sure my leg would give way if I tried to stand up. My Cyborg Cat powers were drained, there was no way out.

  “No, you don’t. Back off, Spencer. There are two of us.”

  It was Shed. He’d seen what was going on and, in the true spirit of the Parsons Road Gang, had come to help me.

  “It’s still four against two,” spat Spencer.

  “Three,” said another voice. It was Brian.

  “Make that four,” said Melody, appearing behind Spencer.

  “Actually, make that thirteen!” said someone confidently.

  Everybody looked around in confusion, to see Dexter counting his fingers and doing calculations in his head. He explained to Spencer that as Cyborg Cat had eight lives left, and there were five of us, eight plus five equals thirteen.

  “Moron!” spat Spencer, before turning his attention back to me. “Get up, you loser!”

  “I was only trying to help,” said Dexter, looking at me apologetically and shrugging his shoulders.

  “Here, Ade,” said Shed, holding out an arm to help me up.

  I was just about to grab it when Mrs Lincoln, the deputy headteacher, turned up.

  “What on earth is going on here?” she shouted. “You’d have all been burnt to a crisp by now if this had been a real fire. Pick up all this rubbish and get outside now!”

  “But, miss, it wasn’t our fault,” said Spencer. “It was him.” He pointed at me.

  “Yeah,” said the ‘oof’ kid.

  “He broke my arm,” said the girl.

  “Enough!” shouted Mrs Lincoln. “You are ALL in detention. Outside, now!”

  Detention? I knew everyone would be angry with me. They trudged off outside, but I knew that there was no way I could get up.

  “You too, Ade,” said Mrs Lincoln. “Now.”

  “I … I can’t, miss,” I said. “I can’t stand up.”

  Suddenly Mrs Lincoln changed from being strict and teacherly to very concerned indeed.

  “Okay, okay, just stay there, Ade. I’m going to get the school nurse and then I’ll call your parents. Will you be all right for a couple of minutes?”

  “Yes, I’ll be fine,” I said, out loud. In my head, I added: I’m going nowhere.

  3

  From Bad to Better to Worse

  I HEARD Mum a good thirty seconds before I saw her.

  “Ahh! Ahh!”

  My heart skipped a beat as I recognised the sharp tone of her voice. Mum was normally softly spoken, and only made this exclamation whenever she was shocked or worried or both.

  I was sitting in the headteacher’s office after having been helped there by two of the teachers and, as well as Mum’s voice, I could also feel the clomp clomp clomp of her heavy footsteps as she hurried along the corridor.

  “Where is he? Where’s my boy? Is he okay? What have you done with him?”

  ‘He’s just in here, Mrs Adepitan,” I heard the school secretary say.

  I looked up as the door opened and caught Mum’s eye. For a moment I thought she might start crying, but then she turned to Mrs Bolton.

  “Thank you for looking after him, Mrs Bolton. Is Doyin all right? Has the nurse seen him? Has a doctor been called? He’s usually such a healthy child.”

  Although they didn’t show it, I knew my parents were worried about me getting injured or bullied at school. They were very protective towards me when I was at home, so when Mum burst into Mrs Bolton’s office looking agitated and upset, I felt my face go hot with embarrassment and a twinge of sadness. This was the last thing I had wanted to happen.

  “Don’t worry, Mrs Adepitan,” said Mrs Bolton. “Please, sit down. Would you like a cup of tea?”

  “Oh no, thank you,” said Mum, her voice softening as she started to calm down. But when she was told what had happened, she quickly became agitated again.

  “Haree!” she exclaimed “Doyin, this is a school, not a funfair. The stairs are not your personal helter-skelter!” Her Nigerian accent was even thicker than usual. She was upset with me.

  My leg was feeling better now but Mrs Bolton told me I should go home and rest. Just as we were about to leave the office, Mrs Bolton delivered her parting shot.

  “One last thing, Mrs Adepitan,” she said. “Everyone involved has been given a detention tomorrow and that includes Ade.”

  “Of course. He will be there,” said Mum, throwing me a look that said, you’d better believe it.

  We got the bus in silence. Mum was still cross when we got back home, but when I told her I’d been feeling much more tired and struggling to keep up with everyone else lately, she became quite serious.

  “Doyin, the doctors told us this would happen as you grow. You’re getting bigger and that puts more strain on your legs and the rest of your body. I’ll make an appointment with the doctor at the hospital, they will be able to help.”

  I wasn’t so sure about that. The way I was feeling I didn’t think anything would help.

  Drrrrrrrrrrriiinnnnngggg!

  I jumped. Surely it wasn’t another fire alarm? Then I remembered where I was – it was just the doorbell. Through the window I saw Dexter, Brian, Shed and Melody. If anything could cheer me up, a visit from my best mates could. I moved quicker than I had in a while and let them in.

  “You okay, Ade?” asked Melody, looking concerned.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I lied. “Must have been a bit of cramp or something.”

  “Maybe you got a bruise when you fell into Spencer and those others?” said Brian.

  “Probably,” I agreed, even though I knew it wasn’t true.

  “Yeah, but not as many bruises as Spencer’s got,” said Dexter, laughing.

  “Who are West Ham playing on Saturday?” I asked, keen to change the subject.

  That did the trick and we spent a while talking football while I did my best not to let on how I was feeling. But eventually the subject came back round to school and tomorrow’s detention.

  “It’s not fair. You didn’t mean to smash into them, did you, Ade?” said Shed.

  “‘Course not,” I replied. “If I had, they’d have ended up miles away, probably on top of Wembley Stadium.”

  “Yeah!” shouted Brian. “Hey, maybe your Cyborg Cat powers are growing and you’ve got the ability to turn into a bowling ball.”

  “Sttttttrrrriiikkkke!” hollered Dexter. “Super Ade the Cyborg Cat turns humans into skittles and sends them flying!”

  I liked the sound of that. But my legs were aching, my head hurt and I felt very tired. I’d never felt less like a superhero. Whatever it was that had happened to make me feel like Cyborg Cat was well and truly missing right now. It was great to see my friends, but secretly I was glad when they all went home and I could go up to
bed.

  The next morning, after a good night’s sleep, I felt much better. Maybe I’d been worrying over nothing.

  “I hear your friends think you’re an animal genius,” said Dad over breakfast.

  “No, Dad,” I replied, grinning. “They just think I’m a genius full stop.”

  “Do they now? Well, Doyin, I hope they’re right, but just in case, you’d better go to school anyway,” he said, tapping his watch.

  I was late, and the last thing I wanted was to get into any more trouble, so I wolfed down my toast and was on my way.

  That morning at school felt like it went on forever. Time stood still and the moment when we’d be allowed out for break seemed to be stuck far away in the future, never getting any closer.

  Eventually, though, after maths, geography AND history – as if maths and geography weren’t enough – break time did arrive and we stood up to go outside.

  “What a fascinating and stimulating couple of hours,” said Brian. “Most enjoyable.”

  The rest of us shook our heads in disbelief.

  “Come on,” I shouted. “Let’s have a kick about.”

  “Really?” said Shed. “What about your leg?”

  “It feels like it could win a best leg in the world competition,” I boasted. “I’m on top form today.”

  “Yes! Cyborg Cat is back!” shouted Dexter. “Nothing can stop him.”

  “Not a sausage,” I said and, to prove my point, started running towards the door.

  Just then, Mr Hurst piped up from his desk.

  “Ade,” he said, “can you go and see Mrs Bolton, please?”

  Surely I couldn’t be in any more trouble?

  “Oh no, you have to see the head,” said a sniggery little voice behind me. “Try not to cry, Ade – ha ha ha.”

  “Shut up, Spencer,” said Dexter.

  “Yeah, shut up,” I repeated as Spencer sloped off with his mates. I turned to the gang. “Try not to let in too many goals before I get there, Dex.”

  “Don’t worry, Ade,” Dexter shouted, as they headed outside. “I feel like a Cyborg Cat myself today.”

  I trudged over to Mrs Bolton’s office and knocked on the door.