by Emma Hamm
“I have known nothing other than caves and stone.”
“I don’t think anyone could find two people that came from more different places.” It had to be said. As much as the thought hurt her, she knew that there was a good chance that someone else was going to point it out. Perhaps the goblins were more polite than the humans, because Above they certainly would have been teased.
“Tell me what your world is like, Jane.”
She didn’t know where to start. There were many things that he would not understand. She had never had a way with words. Jane had always been a person to take action, to do things with her body and hands rather than tell stories. Luther had always been the one to hold that role.
But as she shifted, her eyes caught upon the bruises on his cheekbones and the small streak of dirt that the healer had missed. She found herself starting to speak.
She started by telling him what her home was like. She told him of the sands that were always underfoot and the way that the tent flap had blown in the dust storms that rumbled through the mining town. Her sister had always been frightened, but her brother would always dare them to go out into it. To look the storm in the eye was considered the utmost bravery to the small children that thought nothing of danger.
Jane had done it a few times. She described to him the way the sand had pricked at her skin and given her a rash that had lasted for a week. But standing in the midst of all that power had been nothing short of remarkable.
She then told him of her family. Tiny Willow who had always been too small for her age and because of that had to have the largest mouth any child had ever been given. She insulted everyone that she came across and because of that had become well known as a trouble maker. She explained how her sister had become a rather accomplished thief that liked to bring back buttons and keep them in a stash at the back of the tent.
He laughed at those stories.
She told him of Luther and how proud she was of him. The brightest of them all with a mind that was whip quick, he had left a lasting impression on her heart. Her dearest memories were of him when he was very young. He used to let her brush his hair with their mother’s comb because he had insisted upon keeping it long. Jane had been the only one who could brush it without making him squirm.
And when those memories became too painful to remember, she wiped away the tears that welled in her eyes. Those stories were dashed aside, instead she told him how the sun was hot against their skin, how it could sometimes burn them even though there was no flame.
But mostly she whispered of the sands. Like a lizard, she used to bury herself in them at night. The warmth from the sun would linger for a while. Jane had always dearly loved the sun.
She had thought he would fall asleep during her stories. That was the entire point of this wasn’t it? He should be resting after such injuries. But every time she looked up, his eyes were open. Every detail he seemed to drink in, wanting to know more about her and where she came from.
Ruric wanted to understand her. He wanted to know what it was that she was thinking and why she was so strong and proud. Very few of the humans he had brought underground were like her. Those that were refused to work for the goblins caused trouble wherever they went and most of the time had to be put down. They didn’t work well in the goblin tribe.
Jane wanted to work though. He would watch her hands sometimes, how her fingers would drum against her thighs. She constantly needed to move and her body was a clear mirror to showcase that. Ruric knew that he would be the same way if he were idle, but surely women did not have the same reactions?
Goblin women were as hard as their male counterparts, but they were not allowed hard labor. Their journey in life was to procreate and they needed to focus on that skill. Never before had he met a female that longed to work.
Goblin women enjoyed the soft feathers of their clothing and the pillows that were always fluffed for them. They wanted to lounge and have others admire them. It was the life that a female was granted to live. To not take advantage of that would have been foolish.
He would not consider Jane to be a foolish woman though. She was a fighter like him, a warrior made to work hard and not be satisfied until the job was completed. Perhaps that was why he admired her so.
Eventually she tired, her words starting to come slower and the pictures she painted in the air drifting away. His arm curled around her more tightly, pulling her against him even though his ribs and wounds protested. It was worth the pain to feel her heat against him. Every breath reminded him that they were alive and well.
It was a blessing on its own.
“Thank you for sharing your life with me.” He said quietly and pressed his lips against her golden hair.
“Someday I hope you will do the same for me.” She whispered. He could tell she was already drifting. The words were murmured against his shoulder as though caught halfway in a dream.
And as she drifted off into sleep, he watched her eyelids shut. Her beauty was not lost on him, neither were the alien qualities of her features. They did not have Gods down here, though he had heard the humans praying to them before.
Instead, the goblins worshiped creatures that gave life to the things around them. Stone gods and goddesses of gemstones were carved into the most elaborate of homes. Jane reminded him clearly of one that had been long been forgotten. He had found a temple of hers once in his exploration of the older caves.
A goddess of a lesser gemstone, but one that glowed the most brightly. It was too bright for the goblins to use and they placed her high above their homes. Rarely would the stones be looked upon. But Jane was that to him. A bright beacon of light that hurt him to look at, but one that remained within his reach when he needed it.
“I show you my world every day.” He said quietly in his own tongue, the melody drifting over her form and making a small smile cross her face. “And I will continue to do so, bright one. Perhaps some day you will learn to love it as much as I.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SHE DREAMT THAT she was on fire. The world around her had burst into flames. The caves that had become so familiar to her melted underneath the licking curls. She was burning.
Her heart jumped in her chest and the air around her was too hot to inhale. Everything hurt. Her arms and her legs were held down by an unseen force. In her head she could hear screaming. The goblins she had helped save were not able to get away from the fire. Some of them crawled towards her, their skin peeled away as the flames mercilessly pulled at them. She could not help them, could not go to them.
Jane wanted to scream. She wanted to rage at the world that was so cruel to let these people die like this. They had taken her from her home, taken everything from her. But in return they had gifted her with a life she had not known possible.
The cold air of the cave had become a sanctuary. The quiet murmur of water dripping had become a symphony. She hated that she couldn’t save them, she hated that she couldn’t do something to help them.
But still the flames burned on.
It was her chest and left arm that hurt the worst. She couldn’t feel the arm at all anymore. The heat was worse than the sunburns she had survived as a child. There was no pain, only the uncomfortable heat that betrayed in a moment there would be pain. She could see the fire. She knew the pain would follow it.
Unbidden, her body started to struggle. Fear motivated her. It ran through her veins like lava as it curled around her heart and squeezed hard. She was going to die here, but there was someone she needed to get to. Someone important to her that she couldn’t leave without.
“Ruric!”
She snapped awake as though someone had slapped her. The word hung heavy in the darkness around her. Even in her sleep she called out for him. The knowledge made her uncomfortable. She had only been here for a month, but somehow he had managed to wiggle underneath her skin.
Her arm was asleep. That would be why she had experienced such strange dre
ams. It was wedged underneath Ruric, no small wonder that the blood had been incapable of getting to it.
When she placed her palm against his chest to leverage herself, she realized that the heat from her dream had actually come from him. His breathing was extremely shallow, the skin of his body feeling far too hot.
“Ruric?” She asked quietly, nervous that he had not responded to her panicked cry. She should have woken him when she jolted out of sleep.
He did not reply to her. His form remained still.
“Ruric wake up.” Worried now, she shook his shoulder. Even that did not wake him, so like a child she prodded hard against one of his wounds. There was a soft moan, but he did not open his eyes.
Jane wasn’t sure what to do. She was no healer. Her family always said she was better at breaking things than fixing them. This was far out of her league.
She needed to find the healer. He would know what to do. But the darkness around her suddenly seemed cloying. She inhaled it when she breathed and it tasted of fear and doubt.
Without him, the caves suddenly seemed much bigger. Ruric was the one that knew the directions. He knew how to get her from place to place. She was quickly realizing that it would have been smarter for her to have paid more attention as he escorted her from cave to cave.
She held her hand over his mouth, reassuring herself that there was a least a small amount of air being blown against her palm. He wasn’t dead yet but the heat that was coming off of him was alarming. Humans didn’t get that hot. They sometimes had a fever. Willow had once gotten so ill that they had bathed in her cold water from other villagers, holding her so that the wind would force her body to cool.
She did not know what a goblin fever would feel like.
She got out of bed gently and tried not to disturb him. Her breath caught when he instinctively stretched his hand out for her. In his sleep he reached out for her as well.
Blindly she walked towards the side of the cave where she knew the globes were stored. It was always so damned dark here. In her fear she grew angry. This place was nothing more than a kinder version of Above. It was still deadly, people still died, and she was completely helpless here.
Her pride stung at the realization. At least Above she could do something for her family and for herself. She had known how to survive and how to help others do the same. Here she was no better than a child. She had no claws to climb the walls, no teeth to protect herself. It was a world designed for much harsher creatures.
Her fingers bumped against the globe. She shook it hard, staring into the brightness of the light even though it burned against her eyes.
This place was too dangerous for her to ever feel safe. Helpless and alone was not how she had desired to spend the rest of her life. Her stories to Ruric had reminded her how much she missed Above. How much she missed her family.
Her feet carried her to the mouth of the cave, the silence beyond it alerting her that it was what the goblins would consider nighttime. They all seemed to sleep at the same time. Their schedules were rigidly upheld in that way.
The chasm in between the two walls that held the goblin homes opened before her. Even her toes curled to avoid the edge. It was a long way down. She remembered very clearly the beauty that was hidden down there. The bright light of the secret cave Ruric had brought her too. That cave would forever be imprinted in her mind.
And though some dark and terrible fear was wiggling in her breast, it could not grow for love of beauty and adventure. She followed the wall, crossed to one of the ladders that she thought was the right one, and made her way towards the healer.
It was a random guess which cave was the right one. She seemed to remember a particular symbol above the home he lived in but she could not remember what it looked like.
The one she chose looked similar. The curves and angles she knew she had seen before, though if it were the sign for healing or one of the other goblins they had visited, she did not know.
“Hello?” She called into the opening, hoping that someone was at least there.
The language barrier was an issue she had not considered yet. Even if the healer was home, how was she going to explain to him that Ruric had taken to fever? What if it wasn’t a fever at all, but something much worse? Goblin anatomy and reaction to wounds were not things she would know.
There was a rustling from deep within the darkness. It created an instant reaction in her. A wide stretching fear of knowing something moved that she could not see. Feeling like a fly caught in a web, she stared intently into the black.
An answering trill relaxed her.
Slowly the goblins were starting to become separate beings to her. In the beginning, all she had seen were the oddly pale faces and the strange shapes they held. Individuals blurred together into one mass of beast that she could not define. Now she was starting to realize that there were differences among them the same as with humans.
The healer was a much older goblin though his spine was still straight. He remembered a time when there were more females, had birthed one himself according to Ruric. It was why when they had first entered his cave, he had reached out to reverently touch her cheek.
Females were so sacred to them that they cared not what species they were. They did not eat female fish, nor did they kill them if they had the choice. Even the larger bug like creatures that some of the goblins feasted on were not eaten if there were eggs in their bellies.
Jane could not understand these choices. Food was food whether it was female or male. As far as she could tell there was no shortage of any of these animals. That included humans.
The healer before her trilled once more, his head cocked to the side. He arched his neck too far and the action became unnerving.
“Ruric is sick.” How to explain this without words? She reached out to grab the healer’s hand, placed it against her forehead and said Ruric’s name once more.
If Ruric had been there, he would have remembered to save the moment in his memory. It was the first time she had willingly touched another goblin and the first time she had asked for help.
Luck was with her tonight. The goblin seemed to understand her. His brows furrowed as he nodded. Quickly he disappeared from sight once more, leaving her standing on the precipice of the cliff. It was strange how she did not worry about falling anymore.
She didn’t know what she would do if Ruric died. Jane did not think of her future with the goblins but instead she focused on the absence of him. He was her captor yes, but this was twice in a short amount of time that she was thinking she might lose him.
It did not settle well with her. Ruric should have made her uncomfortable to be around. He should have made her stomach ill to even look at. They all should. But in such a short amount of time she had come to appreciate and respect these people.
The knowledge strengthened her resolve. Perhaps she was not as alone as she thought. Or at least incapable of taking care of herself. She had managed to arrive here, to speak with this goblin without knowing their language. She could do more.
Now it wasn’t just about her. For the first time since arriving here, Jane was taking care of someone else. It felt good. It felt right. This was the way she was meant to be.
Goblins be damned if they tried to stop her from continuing this now. She had helped today, surely that would prove to them that she could continue without hurting herself? Jane was not a goblin female. She was stronger. She could break outside of the box they had placed around their own kind.
The healer did not look at her as he swept out of the mouth of the cave. He had a small pack he was carrying with him. It was made out of some kind of fur lined pouch that she had never seen before. A few other items were tossed over his shoulders, ropes and harnesses that she could not imagine their use.
The healer moved quickly and she had trouble keeping up with him. Goblins were so sure footed in the comfort of their caves. In comparison she was clumsy. Jane worried about slippi
ng and falling. Her feet would sometimes catch on a stone that would roll her ankle. The motion was enough to send her toppling over the edge if she was not careful.
At least there was time for her to breathe. She knew the way back now. She could watch his back if she needed to, but her light was her true guide. Across the ladder bridge they went, and he entered the cave without pausing.
Ruric seemed no better, if anything he seemed to be too still.
Her heart caught in her throat for a moment. Was he dead? Had she taken too long in finding the healer?
She waited anxiously as the healer looked him over. The man seemed to hover in place, his hands moving nearly too fast for her to watch. He was good at what he did, she would admit that. Human healers took much longer than this to treat humans who were ill. They still had not figured out any cure for sand sickness. These goblins seemed to know each other well enough to heal any injury.
Slowly the healer nodded, his eyes opening for the first time in a while. She noticed they did that often as a race. Closing their eyes when they concentrated seemed to be their way of focusing. She supposed if you lived in a world of darkness, it made sense.
He trilled at her, warbling and gesturing in a way she did not understand.
“I’m sorry, I don’t-” She shook her head at him, her hands raising helplessly. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. Is he alright?”
The healer pointed towards Ruric, making a pillow out of his hands to tell her that he was sleeping. Then his hand hovered over Ruric’s resting body, patting once, twice, as though to tell her it was alright.
She shook her head at him. No one could be that hot and still be healthy. Surely the healer would understand that. This couldn’t be normal for a creature to be this warm.
But when she tried to convince him to stay, he simply continued to walk out of the cave. She could not tug on him hard enough.
Once again it was just her and the darkness around her. She listened to the shallow breathing of the goblin she now relied on. The least she could do was stay with him. Jane settled herself down on the ground next to the hammock, not wanting to lend her own heat to an already overheated body.