Merged With Him (The Merge Series)

by Kylie Kent

  I look from person to person, all of whom are looking behind me to Zac, who in turn is glaring at each and every one of them.

  “Seriously, somebody better start talking!”

  It’s Sarah that breaks, I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep anything from me. “Ah, Lyssa,” she says and then looks at Zac. “Either you tell her or I will. You aren’t scaring me with the scowl that’s pretty much permanently planted on your face.”

  Zac pulls me over to the couch, pulling me down onto his lap as he sits down. Sarah’s wrong about the scowl, it’s never on his face when he looks at me. All I ever see written on his face is love, adoration and lust, okay lots of lust.

  “Sunshine, you know I’m not going to let anything happen to you right?”

  I nod my head but don’t say anything.

  “Okay, well Dean went and helped himself into Caitlyn’s apartment last night. He took some photos of something she had attached to one of the walls in her living room.”

  He watches my face, I’m not sure if he’s waiting for me to break or if he just wants to buy time before actually getting to the point.

  “Okay, so show me the pictures. What was on the wall?”

  Zac shakes his head no. “You don’t need to see the pictures, babe. They were disturbing as shit for me to see.”

  Pretending to think this over and agree with him, I nod my head before I stand up to place my empty cup on the coffee table. That’s when I move fast, picking up the big yellow envelope I saw Dean shoving papers into. Tipping the envelope upside down, I empty the contents onto the coffee table before anyone can stop me. I stare down at the images. Lots of images of Zac, some of Zac and I together. In all of those, a big red cross is drawn across my face.

  “Fuck,” Zac grunts and curses as he turns me around. “Sunshine, I really didn’t want you to have to see that.”

  I don’t move or say anything for a while, a lone tear drops down my cheek. Zac is quick to wipe it away. I don’t want to think about this anymore, I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend like everything is perfect. Then I remember the plans the girls and I made with Ella last night to go shopping together today.

  “I’m going shopping with Ella and the girls today,” I say to Zac who has shock written all over his face.

  Turning, I say to the girls, “give me ten minutes to get changed and I’ll be ready.”

  Then a fun idea comes to me. Turning back into Zac, I give him my biggest smile. “Can I borrow your car today babe?”

  If I thought Zac’s face showed shock before, it has nothing on the look he has now. I hear Bray coughing and spluttering in the background.

  Zac stands there stumbling over his words. “Uhh babe … umm … well … you know …”

  He’s looking for a way to say no. I’m not going to help him, I just stand there and smile sweetly.

  Ella is laughing so hard she’s rolled over holding her stomach. “What’s the matter Zac, cat got your tongue?” she teases.

  Dean laughs a little before adding, “stay strong bro, don’t do it.”

  Zac seems to recover from his shock, I watch as his face morphs into that cocky smirk that would drop any girl’s panties. “Sunshine, I can drive you to the mall, and then come back and get you when you’re done.” He smiles like he just solved all of his problems.

  Leaning up, I kiss him on his cheek; letting my lips just brush the corner of his mouth, pressing my breasts a little harder than necessary into his chest.

  “That’s sweet babe. But really, I want to drive, besides it will be good for Ella and I to have some girl bonding time, don’t you think?”

  He groans, running his hands through his hair. I’ve learnt he does this when frustrated. “Sunshine, it’s just that … well, I don’t …” he doesn’t finish his sentence.

  Bray calls out, “way to tell her no, bro.”

  Zac flips him off, then smiles at me, a light in his eyes. “How about we go shopping and I buy you your own car?”

  Okay, well now I drop my mouth open in shock. Reilly spits out the mouthful of water she was drinking.

  Bray continues mocking Zac, “damn, the boy is whipped!”

  Zac ignores them all, smirking at my silenced face.

  Shaking off the shock, I say, “umm no, you are not buying me a bloody car Zac. If you don’t want me to drive your car, all you have to do is say so. I’ll try not to be too offended, you know, considering you let Reilly drive it that one time. But it’s okay. If you don’t trust me enough to drive it, I’ll survive.”

  Patting him on the chest, I’m about to turn and walk into the bedroom when Zac grabs onto my wrist, stopping me.

  “Baby, I trust you completely. If you really want to drive, then you can take the car.” He leans in, bringing his lips to meet mine.

  Ella walks past and says, “damn that was quick.”

  I smile up at Zac, I can’t help but laugh a little. “Thanks babe, but actually, could you drive us? There’s a new wine bar that I want to show Ella.” I feel a little bad at putting him through that stress, I have to confess, “I never wanted to drive the Batmobile you know, just curious if you’d let me.”

  “Damn babe, that’s harsh,” Bray laughs.

  Zac turns his attention to his brother, glaring at him down. “Her name’s Alyssa. She’s not babe to you, asshole.”

  Then turning back to me, he very sincerely states, “you know I’d give you anything you want, right? And I think the whole car shopping idea has merit. While you girls are shopping for whatever girly shit you shop for, Dean and I are going to buy you a car. You should probably go get ready, babe.” He accentuates the babe at the end.

  Walking down the hallway back to the bedroom I call out, “you’re not buying me a damn car, Zac.”

  I hear him laughing just before I shut the door. He is joking, right? There’s no way he is actually going to go shopping for a car. That’s crazy, of course his joking. Clearing my head, I get changed into a pair of cutoff denim shorts and a tank top. I’m sitting on the edge of the bed lacing up my chucks as Zac walks in.

  He’s eyes travel up and down my bare legs, “uhh, sunshine, I think you’re missing some material on those shorts of yours.”

  Standing, I walk over to him, ignoring his remark about my shorts. It’s December in Sydney, it’s bloody hot out.

  “Thank you for driving us, I really appreciate everything you do for me, you know that, right?”

  He tilts his head. “Yeah babe, it’s my pleasure to do things for you. Are you okay?”

  “Well, I feel a little bad about making you think I wanted to drive your car. You looked really stressed out there.”

  He wraps his arms around my waist. “Sunshine, I love you, so damn much. I wasn’t stressed about you driving the car; and I know this will sound irrational, but I was worried about you being out without me. Especially right now, when we have no idea what Caitlyn is capable of.”

  I get he would be worried about my safety, but that stress was definitely more about his car. I raise an eyebrow at him silently. After a minute he relents.

  “Okay, maybe I was a little worried about my car too. But there is not a shadow of a doubt that I love you way more than I love that car, Alyssa.”

  Laughing, I reach up and kiss him. “I believe you. Now let’s get going, there’s only two weeks until Christmas and I haven’t brought a single present yet. Also, you know you can say no to me. I’m not a princess Zac, I’m not going to have a tantrum if something doesn’t go my way.”

  Zac walks over to his dresser an as he pulls something out he says, “I know, but I have the means to give you whatever you want, and the desire to see you happy. Here, I had this ordered for you.”

  He walks out the door leaving me standing in his room holding a black credit card with my name on it.

  I follow him out of the room while waving the card around like a looney and screeching at him, “umm Zac, this is a credit card, why would you give me a credit card?”


  He laughs. “I know what it is Sunshine, it’s linked to my personal account, there is no limit.” He looks at me like I’m the crazy one here, like he just hands out credit cards to everyone he meets, what is he, Oprah?

  Bray swipes the card out of my hand. “Damn, you gave her the black card? Bro, you wouldn’t even give me a black card.” Bray whistles then looks at me. “If you don’t want this thing Lyssa, I’ll be more than happy to take care of it for you.”

  Zac snatches the card out of Bray’s grasp. “Shut up, idiot.”

  He places the card back in my hand. “Sunshine, it’s for you. Use it, don’t use it. But I want you to have it, please.”

  “Okay, I’ll hold on to this, but I’m not using it Zac. I don’t need your fancy money. I work too, you know, I have my own money. Well, maybe not like your money kind of money, but I have money.” I’m rambling because the fact that he just gave me an unlimited credit card makes me nervous.

  Does he think I’m with him for his money? That I need him to buy me pretty, shiny things to be happy? Oh god, is he going to expect me to become a kept woman? Stop working, stay home and go to brunch with the ladies? I look around at everyone, they’re all staring at me. Oh god, I’m hyperventilating. I don’t think I can live up to those kinds of expectations. I went my whole life having to work and fight for everything I needed to survive.

  “Sunshine, breathe in … out. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” I feel Zac’s arms brace around me.

  “Zac, I don’t think I’m the kind of girl you want. I will never be okay with being a kept woman. I can’t become fully dependent on someone.”

  He rubs his hands up and down my back, then brings them up to my face.

  Holding my face still so I’m looking into his eyes, he responds quietly, “Alyssa, you are the only girl I want, however you come. I don’t need you to be anything but who you are okay.”

  I nod, not able to form words right now. Zac leans down, kissing me until my body feels like it’s melting into him.

  He pulls back and questions, “you good?”

  “I’m good, sorry I kind of had a tiny freak out moment.”

  “I don’t mind, just gives me an excuse to hold you longer before you disappear on your shopping trip.” He smirks.

  “Uh-huh, let’s go.” I turn around to see the living room empty. “Wait, where did everyone go?” I ask, looking around the now empty room.

  “I told them we would meet them in the garage.” Zac picks his keys up off the hall table and throws them at me. “Come on sunshine, you’re driving.”

  Ah, wait, what? Running out the door, I catch up with him at the lift.

  “Zac I can’t drive that thing. No way I can’t. I mean, what if I scratch it? Or crash or worse?”

  Zac scrunches his eyebrows at me. “Babe, what could be worse than crashing it?” Laughing, he pulls me into the lift.

  “I don’t know Zac, stop laughing at me.” I try to give my best glare, but he shrugs it off.

  “Let’s get you to the mall, I’m looking forward to seeing the look on Bray’s face when I tell him he’s going with you girls shopping.”

  “Why are you making Bray go on our girls shopping trip, Zac? We will be at the mall, it’s a really public place, nothing will happen.” I try to reason with his overprotective nature.

  “You won’t even know he’s there, babe.”

  I look at him like he has lost his mind, because if he thinks Bray could be anywhere and not be noticed, then he for sure has lost the plot.

  “Doubtful,” I say as we exit the lift into the parking garage.

  We’ve been in the mall for two hours and I still have absolutely no idea what I can get Zac for Christmas. I mean, what do you get the guy that has everything?

  “What about socks?” Sarah asks, unable to keep a straight face.

  “Socks? You want me to get the hottest man on earth socks for Christmas?”

  “I object to that statement. He may be in line for number 2, but I definitely have the number one spot, sweetheart,” Bray smugly smiles while draping an arm over my shoulder.

  I look at the arm he has on me then raise an eyebrow at him. “You know your brother will probably lose his mind when he smells your scent all over me.”

  Bray immediately drops the arm. “Harsh, lyssa, harsh.”

  “What about Victoria’s Secret? I mean the thing Zac seems to want most in the world at the moment is you, so why not get something a little sexy that he can unwrap off of you?” Reilly suggests.

  “You know I’d be all for unwrapping you on Christmas morning, princess.” Bray waggles his brows at Reilly, who is too busy examining her nails to acknowledge him.

  “Hey, maybe I could do that for my boyfriend this year; since you think it’s such a great idea and all, Bray.” Ella so sweetly drops while winking at me.

  Bray stops walking, turning around to Ella pointing. “No, Ella, just no. Wait, you don’t have a boyfriend, right? No, you’re not allowed to have boyfriends yet and you sure as shit are not allowed to wear anything from Victoria’s Secret ever. Fuck.”

  “Okay, Bray,” Ella shrugs her shoulders as she walks around him.

  Ignoring Bray’s little meltdown, Reilly links her arm with mine, “what do you think Lyssa?”

  “I think it’s a great idea actually. Sarah, do you think you could get your photographer friend to meet us at our place tonight?”

  “Yeah, I’ll text him now. Wait, are you doing what I think you’re doing?” she asks.

  Nodding my head, I respond, “yep, I’m going to do a boudoir photoshoot. It’s a good thing my best friend is a make-up artist. Think you can fit me in today?”

  “It’ll be tuff, but I think I can manage.” She smiles as we walk into Victoria’s Secret.

  Okay, I’ll need wine, lots of wine to have the courage to go through with this. I can’t believe this is what I came up with, I mean get me alone in a bedroom with Zac and I can be brazen. Posing in lingerie in front of a photographer, I’m not so sure. But I want to do this, I want to give him something that will blow his mind.

  My phone blares “Stuck like Glue” from my pocket. I still haven’t gotten around to changing it yet, I quickly turn my phone to silent. Pulling it out, I see a text message from Zac and a smile automatically grazes my lips.

  My own GQ: Sunshine, hope you're having fun. Quick question if you had a choice between white or red, which colour would you go for?

  Laughing because I was literally just thinking the same thing standing in front of the red lingerie. I take a selfie of myself in front of the rack and send it to him.

  Lyssa: Funny, I was just thinking the same thing. I’m leaning towards the red. What do you think?

  Immediately, the little dots on the screen start bubbling, showing that he is replying.

  My own GQ: I think you just gave me a damn hard on. RED!!!

  My own GQ: Please tell me you are not in a lingerie shop with my brother right now. Dammit I knew I should have come with you.

  I knew that wouldn’t pass his attention. I take a snap of Bray and Ella arguing with each other at the front of the store and send it to him.

  Lyssa: Don’t worry, Bray is too busy arguing with Ella. Apparently, she is not allowed to wear Victoria’s Secret. His words, not mine. Ella says she’s been wearing Victoria’s Secret since she was fifteen, and that she’s had one of your fancy little black cards for a while and you’re not very good at checking the receipts.

  My own GQ: Please tell me you are joking!

  Lyssa: Nope, sorry.

  My own GQ: You have just ruined Victoria’s Secret for me, thank you!!

  Lyssa: So, you don’t want me to buy anything?

  My own GQ: Babe, you don’t need fancy lingerie. You know I’m just going to rip it off, anyway. But yes, buy red, lots and lots of red! Please.

  Lyssa: Mmm, since you asked nicely and all, I’ll see what I can manage. Got to go, I’m heading into the change room now.

 
My own GQ: Cruel, you are being cruel!!! Facetime???

  Lyssa: Not a chance, have fun doing whatever it is you’re doing … love you.

  My own GQ: Right now, I’m trying not to let it be obvious that I have a fucking hard on in the middle of Mercedes, because apparently all I have to do is think about my gorgeous girlfriend in lingerie for him to be at attention. Love you too, Babe.

  Putting my phone away, I pick up random items of red lingerie.

  “Ah, Lyssa, not to burst your bubble or anything, but do you really think Zac is going to let some guy take photos of you in lingerie?” Bray grumbles behind us.

  “Well, he won’t know about it if you don’t tell him now, right Brayden?” I glare at him.

  “Sweetheart, if you think he won’t find out, you’re out of your damn mind.”

  Ignoring him, I head for the changing room.

  I’ve just sent Sarah out to get a size larger for the last lacy red teddy I want to try. I hear footsteps outside of the dressing room and someone comes to a stop in front of the door. Thinking it’s Sarah back with the teddy for me to try on, I’m about to open the door when I look down and see the shoes under the bottom of the door and freeze.

  Whoever is standing on the other side of the door is not Sarah. I can hear heavy breathing of someone who sounds as though they have been running. I watch as the combat boots shuffle against the floor. I’m reaching for my phone, about to call Bray when a piece of paper floats under the door, landing at my feet. I watch the boots disappear as fast as they appeared.

  I’m frozen in place, standing in a Victoria’s Secret dressing room in my bra and panties. I don’t know whether to bend down and pick up the paper or ignore it and leave it there. Curiosity gets the better of me. Picking up the sheet of paper, I turn it over, a blood-curdling scream escaping my throat.

  I’m huddled in the corner of the dressing room on the floor, I can hear Sarah and Reilly banging on the door, attempting to open it and simultaneously attempting to coax me into opening the door for them. But I’m frozen, I can’t seem to move. Staring at the photograph in my hands, a photo of my mother’s headstone, only next to her headstone in the photo stands another headstone, a new one. One with my name and birthdate on it.